A depressing short story

[Vinyl Scratch. 604]

I was bored so I decided to give writing a go and well...It came out alot darker than expected...

Tell me what you think? Should I keep writing or quit while I'm behind?

 

Stardust layed there in the middle of his living room gasping for breath. There was a loud knock at the door. "S...Stardust?" said a worried voice, the voice sounded familiar. It was Vinyl. "If you're there, I..." She paused for a moment. "I'm sorry, about everything". Stardust Stuggled to lift himself of the floor, removing the frayed rope from around his neck, throwing it to the ground. He proceeded to open the door. Before him stood the white unicorn mare. He could see she'd been crying, but he didn't care. She could see he hadn't had an amazing few days either. His mane was mattered, his coat oily and un-even, but what got her the most was the barley visible red brusing around his neck, vinyl was trying to hold back another wave of tears. "I'm so sorry stardust, I don't expect you to forgive me, I don't deserve..." "It's fine". Stardust said, no emotion in his voice. "Just..." He sighed. "Just, leave alone" He slammed the door. Vinyl couldn't hold back her tears anymore. She heard the sound of a chair hitting the ground and a quiet struggle, seconds past, the apartment fell silent.

[Mr. Critical 434]

Seems a bit dark for no purpose. If we knew what happened, it would have created some context and the story could have had a little more weight to it. Now it seems dark for the sake of being dark.

[Clover Heart 978]

I agree with @Mr. Critical. It's not bad, but it lacks purpose and context. The questions of "why" and "how" aren't answered adequately within this story. But I think you could branch off from what you have with those things in mind in order to improve your story.

Edited December 31, 2013 by Clover Heart

[Vinyl Scratch. 604]

Proberbly best to state at this point its not really a story as much as a small piece of writing it wasnt ment to have any hows, whats or why's or any plot