My Little Reds: Blues Are Dirtbags

[Delernil 952]

Night Comb woke up. A blue sky with a ring like object hung above him. He felt dazed and tired. He looked around to see a group of blue human-like things standing around himself. Looking to his right, a wolf lay, presumably unconscious. The blue clad humans spoke amongst eachother.

 

'I think it's waking up!' One cried out in an almost stupid way. The other two looked at Night Comb.

 

'What the fuck is it?' A teal one asked. The third sighed.

 

'Now we have the reds and these things to deal with.'

[arkman575 312]

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Seth felt like he had just entered the biggest hangover he ever had (not saying much, it would be his first). He heard voices around him as he opened his eyes. The light blinded his, as he expected to be at home. He slowly opened his eyes to notice he was not in his house, let alone not in a building at all. As he examined his surroundings, he found that he wasn't the only one. A unicorn was also with him. But what shocked the wolf the most was that there were bipedal creatures standing around him, wielding what looked to be refiles of differing size and shape.

 

"Well, the other one's up now. At least it's a dog." The one with the sniper said.

[Delernil 952]

Night Comb stood up at the comment. 'What do you mean by that?!' He snapped.

 

The cobalt one raised his rifle, while the blue one gasped in joy.

 

'Well, time to put it down.' The dark blue one said. In the background, the ecstatic one was heard chanting about his excitement. The teal one switched his focus on all five of them.

Edited February 12, 2014 by Delernil

[arkman575 312]

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Hearing the comments, Seth sighed. It was too bloody early for this. "Ok, can everyone please shut up. I have the biggest migraine right now and I don't light to fight when I'm down."

 

"That's good for you pup, cause I could easily take you down doggy stile. Bow chica wow w-"

 

"For the record, you started it." Seth said, before lunging at the biped.

[Delernil 952]

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Night Comb watched the wolf attack the teal colored biped as the others watched. The darker one sighed.

 

'Tucker, we're not shooting the mascot until Junior is dead.'

 

Tucker. That must have been the teal colored things name. He screamed as the dog was on top of him.

 

'Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck!'

Edited February 12, 2014 by Delernil

[arkman575 312]

@@Delernil, 

 

Seth was biting whatever part of the being he could manege to get inside his jaws. The creature squirmed and yelled as he continued to attack. Finally, when he was satisfied with the piunishent he gave, the wolf walked back over to the pony, assuming it was also from Equestrtia.

 

"Hey you don't happen to know where we are, do ya?" He asked, before one of the bipeds approached him. This one had been babbling for quite some time, but Seth had been trying to zone him out.

 

"-and we call him rover and feed him cookies and play fetch and take him on walks. Oh, but the cookies cannot be chocolate. Chocolate makes dogs explode....I am hungry... Oh I want to pet the doggy. Come here Rover." It said, before grasping Seth in a head lock.

 

"What the H..." Was all he manged to say before his air supply was cut off.

 

"Ya, just hold him there while I beet the crap out of him." the one Seth attacked said.

 

"Guys! Shut up!" The third one yelled.

[Delernil 952]

Night Comb flared his wings defensively at the third and darkest one.

 

'Calm down!' He said as he moved to the teal one, Tucker.

 

'You can either back away or I can attack you like he did. And I'd really rather not go against you. I'd slam you.' He said flatly.

 

'Bowchickabowow.' The teal one said before backing off. A voice was heard in the distance.

 

'Those dirty blues took our dog!'

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Seth was loosing air, and fast. "A... little... h... help..." He said as he began to see stars.

 

"Caboose, drop him!" The darker one ordered. 

 

The rather obnoxious one obeyed the order (with mush hesitation), and let Seth go. The wolf fell to the ground and gasped for air.

 

"Oh, Church? The reds are coming, and they look pissed." The one named Tucker announced. 

 

"Wait, this is their dog?" The darker one, Church, said. "When the hell did they get an airdrop?"

[Delernil 952]

Night Comb looked to the set of three more biped creatures. A dark red, a lighter red, and...an orange one?

 

Night Comb looked at the darkest blue. Church. He turned his attention back to the three new creatures.

 

'My name is...Pvt. Simmons and...and I have come to collect our dog.' My he lightest one said unconvincingly.

 

'Blues aren't idiots you know. Unlike reds.' The orange one remarked

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Seth got up after regaining his composure. He looked up at what was apparently Simmons. He cleared his throat, then spoke. "first of all, I'm no one's pet. Second, I am not a dog! I'm a wolf you dumbass!" He yelled at the group. "Thirdly, who... and what the hell are all of you...things?"

 

"Omm, no. You are a dog." Caboose corrected. "Wolves are scary and don't have names like Rover."

 

Seth glanced over at the pony. "I swear that this will end with a lot of blood an me eating meat." He said, starting to growl.

 

(I know it's Doughnut, I'm just playing along)

[Delernil 952]

(Stupid Doughnut.)

 

Night Comb sighed. 'Seriously? I'm surprise I haven't be-'

 

The one who had called Seth 'Rover' spoke up again. 'We can name your horse friend too! Oh man I love animals!' He said as he began babbling about what to name Night Comb.

 

Church spoke up again. 'Oh my god the next person who talks is going to get shot.'

 

Simmons requested their prisoner again. 'Red Team demands that-' his voice was cut off by a shot.

 

'Shut up Doughnut. You're not Simmons.'

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Seth was taken back by the shot. It wasn't the shot itself that spooked Seth, more as how far off it was. It was nearly point blank range and the one named Church still managed to miss by quite a distance. As his ears stopped ringing, Seth yelled.

 

"What to fucking wolven hell was that?!? Seriously, what the hell?"

 

The one that was ether Simmons or...Doughnut (?) dropped his gun and was running back to where he had came.  "You can take over from here Grif. I'll get Simmons."

 

"Ohhhh... Fine. Just give us back our mut so I can just get home. This is cruel and unusual punishment. I was supposed to be on my second daily nap by now." the larger orange one moaned.

 

"Still not a mut." Seth complained, obviously not being heard. Seeing the gun from the pink one, he nodded at Night, then at the gun.

[Delernil 952]

Night Comb understood. He flew to the gun faster than any of then could react and grabbed it in his mouth. Darting back to where he had started, he pointed it at the orange one.

 

'Sargeitsgotagunohgod!' It yelled. The darker red one lumped his shotgun. 'Horses need to be put down sometimes...like old Mama Smithers...we had to put her down...' He started as he lowered his gun and presumably started tearing up.

 

'Ok, just take the stupid dog. Doughnut should be dead, Sarge is emotional, and Grif is cared of a horse with a gun.' Tucker said, looking at each.

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"I'm not a- you know what, I give up. Night, let's go." He said in a defeated tone. He began to walk towards where the pink one went, assuming that's where he was needed. Before leaving, he walked over to the teal one.

 

"This is for calling me a dog." Seth said in a cool, calm manner before standing on his hind legs and punching the being in between it's two legs. He didn't know why he his that area, it just seemed right. 

 

"Ow my fuckbarries!" It said as tucker fell to the ground. "Why do animals hate me?"

 

Seth continued his walk, being fallowed by the orange one.

 

"Huh, I guess he is a red. He fights blues and knows where home is. Now what to call him..." Gif thought.

[Delernil 952]

Night Comb eyes the orange one suspiciously. He was following them, but then again, it was where the rest of his team had gone. The red one has disappeared.

 

Night Comb followed along with Seth as they walked. 'Hey, never did get your name. I'm Night Comb.' He greeted.

 

 

Grif looked between the two. He knew Sarge would be all over them. Bowchickabowow.

[arkman575 312]

@@Delernil,  

 

 

"Name's Eclipse. Seth Eclipse. Royal diplomat. And yourself?" He asked. At this point, with the slitting headache he was having, he didn't really care what was going on. "I don't have the shadiest idea how we got here. You know anything?" Seth asked, looking at the terane he was on. In the distance, the horizon seemed to ascend into a ring-like circle. "That's a new one..." He muttered.

[Delernil 952]

'Traveller. I just do odd jobs for bits since I...well, travel.' He said with a smile. 'And no, I don't have a clue. All I know is that there is a red and blue team, and red seems to be smarter. Save for that one blue...Church, right?'

 

Grif spoke up. 'No, we're all idiots. Caboose is in his own world, Doughnut is weird, Simmons is too smart, and Sarge is either suicidal or depressed. Tucker is...Tucker.'

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"And where are we?" Seth asked the one named Grif.

 

"A little piece of rock known as Bloodgultch. Population: us. Basically it's just a box canyon with two bases. One red, one blue.

 

"Wait, why are you here?" Seth asked.

 

"I guess it's life's great mystery-"

 

"Oh shut up with the fake religion crap. the only true way to get to the holy land is believing in shotgunisum" Sarge replied.

 

Seth eyed the two bipeds then whispered to Night. "I fee that the mental capacity of these animals is rather limited. the fact that they have guns makes me even more frightened."

 

"Only the most worthy can go to the promised land, where there are countless shells, endless Grifs to shoot, and no blue in sight." The Sargent continued.

[Delernil 952]

Night Comb looked between the two bipeds.

 

'I think it might have been better to stick with the blues...they have the smartest one so far.' He said as Sarge continued to ramble.

 

'...where all the Puma's go to feast upon sweet, sweet Grif meat as they carry shotguns. The blues attacked but we held them back with our shotgun Pumas...'

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"Oh, so you admit that they should be called pumas!" Grif interrupted.

 

Sarge turned on Grif, pumping his gun, and firing a round into him. "Grif, how many times have I told you to stop making up fake animal names?"

 

"Son of a bitch." Grif yelled as the round hit him.

 

Seth looked at the fallen creature, then back at the armed one. "Wha... Wha... What the hell!?!"

 

"Oh he's fine, just drag his body back to base. He'll be up in an hour or two." Sarge replied and walked to the base.

[Delernil 952]

Night Comb stared at the limp red.

 

'We really should have stayed with the blue. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have shot their team.' He said as the limp body let out a moan.

 

'Oh dear god...Simmons...Simmons please...' He moaned. The red continued like that for several minutes.

 

'S-should we take him?' Night Comb asked.

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"Um... probably..." Seth said, grabbing the body by the foot, beginning to pull him towards the building

 

"Oh god. If I don't make it, tell Simmons... that... I...broke his Ipod...and hacked his Xbox account... and that I drank his ten year old bottle of bear... and-"

 

"We'r here." Seth replied, letting go of Grif's foot. Seth gave a nod to Night as he walked over to the Sargent. "So, you were expecting a dog?" Seth asked.

[Delernil 952]

Night Comb dragged the limp body to Sarge as it moaned to itself and rambled on. Sarge was still talking about Shotgunism.

 

'...that's how the Shotgun Gods decide your fate. They rate you on a scale from 1-10 Grifs.' He explained to no one, simply talking to air. Night Comb sighed as he passed Seth. 'Forget about it, let's get this one back.'

[arkman575 312]

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"You would think these things were insane. Maybe they are." Seth commented as he helped pull the body inside the base. After arriving in the structure proper, he let the limp body go.

 

"Ok, who shot Grif" another being asked, then looked at the two. "And why do we have two... I wana say wolf and... pony?" It finished.

 

"Thank you." I say, startling the red biped. Then a shot could be heard from outside.

 

"Simmons, no made up animals. That is a horse, possibly even a cavalry horse from command."

[Delernil 952]

Night Comb let out a sigh of relief. 'Finally, I'm no-'

 

Sarge burst in and began to insult Simmons for using pony.

 

'Goddamnit!' Night Comb cursed. 'The blue team really is more intelligent. I'd rather have someone call me a horse out of ignorance than out of fear.' He said with another sigh.