Emotions emotions and more emotions

[ravensilvertail 34]

Yesterday I walked to give my dad his mail. He pulled me aside and told me some bad bad news.

He said that my granny has cancer again and this time there is nothing that the doctors can do about it. Strangely a dream long past seemed to play itself out before my eyes.

My mom came home later and she already new about the bad news. My dad told her yesterday. So my mom came home and saw my sister crying from the news. After chatting with her, she asked me a simple question. A question with a biting tone. Do you care???

 

I've seen death. Prayed to stop it from happening to people I care about. But it wasn't heard. Every person that I prayed would heal and get better died.

 

Do I care? Yes. She is my grandma.

My question to all of you is this. Did you ever have someone ask a question in a manner that had caused you to suffer pain and anger???

 

If so, could you please share with me so I may learn from you???

[RNgineer 161]

how old is your sister and how old are you? there are different factors on how people handle loss.  You maybe sad but maybe just more understanding but it doesnt mean you dont care.

 

As an oldest bother I had to take care of my little sisters from my abusive father and my mother who didnt really know how to handle the worse of nights.  It consumed me and robbed me many years of development until i was 21.  I would always have to put on a strong face but when i was alone in my room I would cry by myself.  On a couple nights I had to drag my dad to the ER because he tried to kill himself.  It was all terrible but to this day, sometimes my mother and sisters will accuse me of not caring about the family enough and that Im selfish because I cant be there anymore......Drives me mad!!!! but i try to take it as understanding that a therapist once told me that its their own way of saying that im the one that makes them feel secure and their upset that Im not there all the time for them as theyve become accustomed to.  

 

Point is shes says that to you because her way of showing her emotions is by crying where as yours was not, She just needs to understand your perspective 

Edited April 8, 2014 by RNgineer

[ravensilvertail 34]

She is turning 18 this year. Me, I'm turning 21

[Fluttershy27 54]

I'm so sorry to hear, Parasprite. :/ 

[Rift enchanted 380]

Just saying this probably goes in life advice, yeah know just a heads up.

 

And no one ever asked me a question that made me mad but they've said stupid things.

[ravensilvertail 34]

Thank you Rift enchanted. I appreciate the heads up.

[NeuroTypical 64]

After chatting with her, she asked me a simple question. A question with a biting tone. Do you care???

 

Did you ever have someone ask a question in a manner that had caused you to suffer pain and anger???

 

If so, could you please share with me so I may learn from you???

So, let me make sure I've got this right.  You think your mom saw you not sitting there crying and showing lots of emotion, got upset, and asked you 'do you care' with a biting tone?  And it's the biting tone, and maybe the false assumption she was making, that is giving you pain and anger?

 

Because if that's what you're saying, then your reaction is pretty darn understandable.  Not everybody immediately has an immediate outward reaction to hearing horrible news like a relative is dying.  It would be nice if your mom understood that.  Maybe point her here?

 

Kidshealth.org - What is grief?

[ChoroChii 284]

I don't recall ever being asked such a thing.

Sorry to hear about your Grandma..