Hey. This is a preemptive Grind My Gears. (For all the good it will do.)
Y'know what's really gonna grind my gears? With S9 being the confirmed end of FIM, I just know that the whole year will be absolutely filled with people saying things like, "I can't believe it's all going to end! The ride is over! The fandom's over! It's all gone! The past nine years, gone! No more Pony! That's it, everyone! Say your goodbyes! It's been fun; so long!" and such and such.
When I hear that stuff, it just makes me
Yeah, I know it's ending, but that doesn't mean that the fandom is going to evaporate into thin air. It's not all going to be erased from existence. This isn't a rollercoaster: you don't have to disembark when the ride ends. Are there not franchises that you enjoy even though they've long since seen their end? Good things stay relevant for generations even though there isn't new stuff. I mean, did people just stop enjoying Star Wars after Return of Jedi came out? And before you start screeching at me, think about it--sixteen years passed between the release of Return of the Jedi and The Phantom Menace. Nobody was expecting the prequels during that time. Nobody was waiting for more movies. It was a surprise when it happened. Everyone just thought the trilogy was over, and that was that. But did the Star Wars fandom end? F*ck no! There were still books and merch and conventions and all that sh*t, and there still would have been/would be even if there had never been another movie!
I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm still going to haunt the forums regularly for as long as they exist, and I hope it's for a long, long time. I still want to talk ponies, and I want to talk other stuff with my fellow Pony fans. Where else would I go to make my blogs? I'd be lost without this place. I'm sure fan content will continue for many years. We can rewatch the series periodically, we can read the books, watch youtube Pony videos, collect fan art, read fanfics, listen to the music, both the official and the fan stuff, and of course, you can make content if you're into that. And we can chat on here! Yeah, it's bittersweet that the show is ending, but please don't act like the second the finale airs, we all have to turn off the lights, leave the room, lock the door, throw away the key, and never see each other or speak of Pony ever again, cuz that's just bogus, man.
And lest we forget, if G5 is good, we can all board that train.
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? When waiters/waitresses/servers don't write your order down. You ever get one of these jokers? What, are we supposed to impressed? Are you so proud of your memory that you want to show it off? You think we'll be so impressed by your astounding memory that you'll get a bigger tip? Is that it? Well guess what? Every single time I've had a server do this, they either get stuff wrong and I have to send the food back, and/or they come back to the table six times and go, "I'm sorry; did you say onions, or no onions?" because they forgot.
No tip for you.
Write the Celestia damned order down.
Today's entry will be a little different. With Grind My Gears, I usually stick to more global things about society that bother me, or silly everyday type stuff that can bother anyone. I usually do more timeless stuff, not current news cycle stuff that has more of a narrow window of relevancy. But this is just too important. This needs to be said now.
You know what really, really, REALLY grinds my gears?! Today I popped onto Steam, and I saw a news headline that Steam is having a midweek madness sale, so I went to my wishlist to see if anything there was on super sale for cheap. For many months now, my number one wishlist item has been Metro Exodus, which has been available for pre-order for some time. (I hadn't bought it yet, though.) Now, I just need to give you a little context, here. Metro 2033 and Last Light are, in my opinion, unabashedly, unambiguously, unequivocally the greatest fps games ever made. I'm not basing this opinion on anything technical, but rather solely on the experience I had while playing them. Playing the Metros was the most fun and most immersive shooter experience I've ever had. In fact, it was the most fun single player game experience, period, that I've ever had by great lengths. So much so that I have been looking forward to Metro Exodus more than I have ever looked forward to any game ever made, ever ever. It was set to launch this month.
So, as I was saying, I loaded up my wishlist today, and what do you suppose I saw? Well, not Metro Exodus, that's for damn sure! Where did it go? I checked the store. Poof! Gone! Well, that's a funny thing. So, after a few seconds of research, what do you suppose I learned? Well, as I'm sure y'all already know--Deep Silver and Epic made a deal to have Metro Exodus be an exclusive to the Epic Store for the first year. It was pulled from Steam at the eleventh hour right before launch. Exodus will only be available on other platforms/stores after February of 2020.
Warning, very strong language ahead.
*Ahem! MM! *Straightens collar, composes oneself.* My apologies for that, ponies. I usually don't get so angry, and I usually don't go overboard with the profanity, but this was just too much. I cannot believe how despicable the video game industry has gotten. And it's no better with movies and tv, what with the exclusivity to various streaming services. It's bullsh*t. I just cannot believe the level of greed and corruption. This is just disgusting. Absolutely vile and repulsive. This is just beyond the pale. Well and truly beyond the pale. This isn't just BS. This is beyond BS. This is BBS. This is the most heinous, repugnant, reprehensible, putrid business decision I've ever seen. I cannot believe how low the video game industry is sinking. It's just falling into an abyss of garbage. And this is from someone who's usually very optimistic about it! Just.... unbelievable.
So, this Epic exclusivity is only for a year, after which time Exodus will (presumably) become available at all the usual places. I'll tell you one thing--I'm not buying it on Epic OR Steam! I'm buying it on f*ckin' Good Old Games, man! GOG.com, where I should have bought 2033 and Last Light as well. Steam has its conveniences, and I certainly like it, but the dark side of these game stores/launchers is that we are all beholden to whatever shifty crap they want to do. The sad truth is that our digital game libraries were never really ours. Not truly. Valve giveth, and Valve can taketh away. From now on, at least when it comes to important single player games that I really care about, I'm buying GOG, and I encourage anyone who cares about actually owning their games to do the same, not because I'm out to punish Steam (this Exodus sh*t wasn't their doing), but because I want to support GOG and show them that we want DRM-free games that we own for life, and that can't be taken away from us, changed, or any other such flim flam.
And that, my dear fillies and gentlecolts, is what really, really REALLY grinds my gears.
Y'know what really grinds my gears? Sex-specific colors. Y'know, this blue for boys and pink for girls sh*t. Why is this so ingrained in our culture? They're just freakin' colors. Reflected wavelengths of light. They don't have anything to do with one sex or the other. Anyone can like any color they want.
One of the best examples of this is when I go self-serve frozen yogurt shops. Every one I've ever been to has green and pink spoons. Or sometimes it's blue and purple. And every time I've ever gone to one, the employee gives me a green/blue spoon. Y'know--because I'm male. Every time. My parents and I will go, and they give us two green spoons for me and my dad, and a pink for my mom. I LIKE PINK BETTER. Pink's my favorite color! But of course, of friggin' course, we all know that males are required by law to take the green spoons. Men aren't allowed to like pink because that's f*ckin' gay, dude.
And how about when I go to the dentist? Y'know how they always give you a toothbrush? They have an assortment of colors, and it's the same story there as the yogurt places. In fact, you know what? One time my hygienists actually asked me which color I wanted, and I said pink, and she was flipping flabbergasted!! She was like, "What?! REALLY?!!" Pffft. Are you kidding me?!
But the thing is, I mean, it's not even like pink and purple are that uncommon in men's clothing! You go in friggin' Kohl's and there are pink and purple dress shirts and ties all over the friggin' place. So what's the deal with the yogurt places and the dentist, huh? Why are they shocked? What the hell?
F*ck these sex-specific colors, dude. And just to be clear, so I don't open up some can a worms--No, I'm not offended, and I'm not angry at the employees. I'm just annoyed at society for having this deeply ingrained, irrational, arbitrary mindset about colors.
And that, ponies, is what grinds my gears.
Y'know what really grinds my gears? "Manscaping". Oh, ho, ho! Hold on, there, chief--it's prolly not what you think! I'm not talking about men shaving body hair; I'm talking about the term. See, I'm male, and I myself shave my body hair, including legs, because I like the way it looks and feels much better. So why's it gotta have this stupid term?! MANscaping. Pffft. Why does it need this "man" prefix, as if to emphasize the fact that it's weird or wrong or something. Why call it something else?! It's just shaving!! Anyone can shave any body part they want! Why do we need to call it this stupid thing if a man does it?! What--is it too fem or something?? Pffft. F*ck that. F*CK THAT.
I hate all these stupid terms where they put "man" in front of it like that. "Mansplaining" and "manspreading". I'm not even entirely sure what those are, to be perfectly honest, but they sound asinine.
But you know what also grinds my gears? MAN CAVE. I f*cking HATE that term. It's so stupid. Just so stupid. As if we're neanderthals. As if no woman on Earth wants a nice room for electronic entertainment. And no, I don't actually think it's offensive or anything, just annoying and stupid. So stupid. Stop saying it.
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? How the cords and cables for electronic devices never want to go the right way. Don't know what I'm talking about? Oh, I'm sure you do. Let me just explain it. Every time I try to plug in a device cable that is unidirectional, meaning it has to be oriented the correct way, like a standard USB connector, or HDMI, the cord always "wants" to go the wrong way. The cables always have a "natural" position, an orientation that they naturally "want" to be in, based on how they were packaged and how they're coiled up, and the damn port they plug into is always 180 degrees the wrong way! The cable naturally wants to lay a certain way, where the coil sits neatly and effortlessly on the floor or on the back of your TV stand, but the damn connector always, always has to be flipped upside down to plug in, and then makes the coil stretch out and flip up in the air all awkwardly, and it pulls on the cable and puts stress on it because it wants to flip back the other way. WHY??!! WHY???!!!!! WHY IS IT ALWAYS, ALWAYS THE WRONG WAY????!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? When people use the word "itch" when they mean "scratch". I hear this all the time. Y'know, like when people say "I itched my mosquito bite." "My leg itches so I itched it." No, no, no, NO, NO. You had an itch, so you scratched it. You don't itch something that itches. You scratch it. Scratching is what you do to an itch. Look it up. Learn the difference.
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? When characters on tv spit out liquid in surprise. Y'know, spit takes.
Okay, it was kinda funny here,
just because it's Pinkie and they had a self-aware sort of sense of humor about it. But in general, spit takes annoy me. Nobody actually does that in real life! It never happens! At least, I've never seen it happen. I knew a guy who would spit out liquid from laughing (boy did we have some fun with that in high school), but I've never seen anyone do it from surprise. Just seems like one of those phony, made-up tv things.
Y'know what really grinds me gears? When people jump on the forums to review new episodes in pieces before they've seen the whole thing. Y'know, they make a post reviewing the cold open, then they go back and watch the show, then they jump on here and review act 1 up to the commercial break, they complain about things that haven't even happened yet, and may or may not even happen, then go back to the show, then jump back on the forums and review act 2, and so on. And each piece is a completely separate post. Why can't you just watch the whole episode first?! THEY'RE ONLY TWENTY MINUTES LONG! It's not like you're reviewing Ken Burns's friggin' Vietnam War documentary. You can't make it through twenty minutes before jumping on here?? I don't mind the pre-episode posts, before it airs. Y'know, the hype train stuff. That's fine. But the piecemeal reviews of each section? Uuuugh. Just watch it first, then post.
Y'know what really grinds my gears? When people call a game old, dated, or retro just because it's like two friggin' years old. Maybe it's just me, but I have a pretty wide range of what I consider "modern" when it comes to games. When I think old and retro, I think 8 and 16 bit Nintendo era or older. The other day I saw some website talking about Halo 3 as being a "retro classic". I know it probably just makes me sound like an old fogey, but Halo 3 is not a retro classic. I'm sorry, it's just not. It's a modern game. It's not new, but it is modern. If you're gonna call Halo 3 a retro classic, then what are you gonna call Super Metroid, or 8-bit Super Mario Bros, or Legend of Zelda, or friggin' DOOM? I tend to think of the modern era of gaming being at approximately PS2 and newer. I'm fine with Ocarina of Time and FF7 being called retro classics. Yeah, they are. But nothing on 360 or PS3 should be called retro or oldies. Gimmie a break, dude. I know games move quickly, but have a little perspective, man.
I'm sure it does make me an old fogey, but I'm still blown away by the graphics of PS3 and 360 games. I play newer games, too, but every time I play Halo 3 or God of War 3 or Final Fantasy 13, I always just think, "Wow, this is just so gorgeous!" Most people probably look at Halo 3 today and think, "Ugh! What a muddy, pixel-y piece of garbage! I can't believe games used to look like this!", and that just kinda bugs me. Maybe it's just a generational thing that has to do with what gaming era you were born in, but I don't think I'll ever lose my appreciation for how good PS3/360 era looks.
Well, that was just meant to be a quick, fun little thing, but somehow I could see this one getting me in a bit of hot water. Apologies if I ground anyone else's gears.
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? The constant, casual profanity in modern American culture. Now, let's just slow down a second here, and let me make something perfectly clear: I love profanity, I don't think it's inherently bad, and I have nothing against it, generally speaking. Matter of fact, I think it adds a lot of color and humor to life. I mean, imagine how dull AVGN and MLP Totally Legit Recap would be without it! It can just add such nice flair or emphasis. So, what annoys me is the constant, non-stop profanity for everything. People nowadays use f*ck and sh*t as a replacement for every word in the English language! They just use it in every regular sentence, even when it's unwarranted and means nothing. And it kind of annoys me how casual people are with it in public. Again, it doesn't offend me personally, but some people don't like it, and I just think it's courteous to not use it around strangers. I use it quite a bit, but I try never to do it within earshot of strangers.
Here's a great example of what I'm talking about: the other day, I was at my gym, and I was about to enter one of these single occupant, unisex changing rooms/bathrooms we have in the pool area, and a guy was standing nearby. As I approached the door, he says to me, in the nicest, most cheerful and polite tone, "Oh, I've got my sh*t in there." I of course said, "Oh, no problem," and used a different one. I didn't want to confront the guy, but why must we substitute "sh*t" in place of "stuff"? I don't think the words are evil, but I just think we should save them for when they actually mean something, y'know? If you're gonna say sh*t, save it for when you really mean SH*T. Like, for example, you could say, "Look out for that pile of dog sh*t on the ground," or "This stale sandwich tastes like sh*t", or "That haircut looks like sh*t", or "Did you hear about that sick piece of sh*t who shot up the school?" Some are literal, some are figurative, but all of these are valid uses for the word "sh*t". But when we just mean stuff, can we just say stuff?
Here's a modern conversation (Usually between guys. I hate that that stereotype rings true.) I'm not exaggerating. This is exactly what I hear between a couple of friends at the gym all the time: "Hey, sh*t, dude, the f*ck's going on? Oh, just had a good f*cking workout. F*ckin hungry, dude. Wanna grab a f*ckin bite? Sh*t, dude, yeah, let's get some f*ckin Chipotle. They got this f*ckin new sh*t that's the sh*t, dude. That sh*t's fuckin' sh*t, man. I love that sh*t. Yeah, let's go, sounds f*cking good, dude. Oh, sh*t, hang on, I gotta call my f*cking girlfriend, first. Okay, let's f*ckin go. Lemmie jus grab my sh*t, dude. F*ck dude, I'm tired man. Sh*t."
I'm not exaggerating in the slightest. Why must people talk like this? Does out entire vocabulary really have to be comprised of nothing but these two words? Profanity's great, but let it actually mean something! It's not cool or funny to substitute profanity for every single noun, adjective, verb, and adverb. There will be nothing left but a couple of prepositions. When we start substituting "sh*t" for "BELONGINGS", where is there left to go when we really need a strong word?! I'm not trying to stomp on free speech or anything. It's just a suggestion. Profanity is like masturbation: it's great, but if you do it constantly, it's gonna start to lose its meaning and not be special.
Y'know what really grinds my gears? When two characters kiss on a sitcom and the audience goes, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWW!!!!!!!!!!" That is so f*ckin' obnoxious and juvenile. I think that audience members that go, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWW!!!!!!!!!!" should be beaten with a bag of doorknobs.
Y'know what really grinds my gears? When they cut stuff out on TV. I'm not talking about censoring, I'm talking about when they remove whole chunks of shows or movies for time. I just watched the first Equestria Girls with my mom because she'd never seen it, and they cut the entire "Strange New World" song from the movie!! The whole f*ckin' thing, GONE! POOF! Nowhere to be seen. What the f*ck, man?! That should be illegal! I don't care if you have to put it in a bigger time slot to make room! We shouldn't have to miss giant pieces of shows and movies! Piece-a-sh*t.
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? You notice how they never show movie trailers on tv anymore? They used to show legit trailers back in the day, and it got me all excited for movies. Now, the only way you see movies advertised on tv is when they pair it with some other product. I know you know what I'm talkin' about. They show an add for a f*ckin car or a fast food burger, and then show some movie character shoehorned into the ad, or maybe they show some idiot suburban family driving to the fast food joint when their car is attacked by aliens from the movie, and then they're all like, "Come to IHOP and try the new Grand Slam, and see Independence Day Resurgence today!", or "Buy or lease the all new Hyundai Elantra today, and see The Last Jedi, only in theaters!", or, "Ask your doctor about Cialis today, and see The Incredibles 2!"
Celestia dammit! I f*cking hate that sh*t. Why does everything have to be sponsored and crammed full of products?! I want to actually see a flipping trailer for the flipping movie. Now, I realize that all the actual trailers are online now, and that's fine and all, but I still resent this whole situation. It's a symptom of the larger problem we've created with this whole ad model world. Nothing can stand on its own without product placement. I remember when sports stadiums were actually named after teams, instead of being the Pepsi Center, or Coors Field, or the Staples Center, etc. I remember when you'd watch the Olympics, and the sides of the figure skating rink or the gymnastics arena would be emblazoned with creative and attractive designs made specifically for those games. Now what do you see plastered all over the rink? AT&T, Almay, Neutrogena, S.C. Johnson a Family Company, Time Warner, Cover Girl, Pepsi, Coke, Domino's Pizza, Geico, Allstate, eSurance, H&R Block, Chevrolet, Honda, Dodge, T-Mobile, Verizon, Comcast, Spectrum, Cox, Taco Bell, Carl's Jr, Este Lauder, f*cking on and on and on and on....
I HATE IT. And that, ponies, is what really grinds my gears.
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? That cliché gag they do in movies where one character says a line early in the movie, and then another character says the line back later, reversing it in some way. Sometimes it's a "ha ha, gotcha back" kinda thing, and sometimes it's a cheesy learning learning experience. Heh, maybe you have no idea what I'm talking about. You'll instantly get it with a couple examples:
It's like in Man of Steel when Faora is about to kill the military guy and she says, "A good death is its own reward," but then Kal-El saves him at the last second, and then later in the movie, military guy drives the ship into the thing and is about to kill Faora, and he repeats the line back to her: "A good death is its own reward," and she gets the oh crap look on her face. This is the "whoever laughs last laughs best" example.
And then there's X-Men The Last Stand when they're practicing in the danger room, and Logan goes on the offensive, and Storm tells him they're supposed to be working as a team to teach the kids, and he's like, "I am teaching 'em. Best defense is a good offense." And then at the climax when they hatch a plan to stop the Dark Phoenix, Logan gets the idea and says to Storm, "We work as a team," and Storm says, "Best defense is a good offense." (Use mocking tone so thick that you can barely understand what I'm saying): Huuuh, huuuh! See? That's the line you said to me earlier! I'm repeating it to you because I learned something and appreciated your perspective! Isn't that clever?! Lol. Huh, huh, huuuuh, hur, hur huuuurrr!
I HATE this gimmick in movies because I have never, ever seen it done without feeling completely forced and cringe-y. It's so stupid and annoying. If you ever become a director and make a movie, DON'T DO THIS.
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? When people say "tunafish" instead of just "tuna". I mean, why add the phylum? As opposed to what other kind of tuna? Are there furry tuna with four legs running around on land? It's like, "Hey, I'll have the turkeybird sandwich," or "Our burgers are made with 100% angus beefmammal." I mean, what's the deal?
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? Dabbing. Like, why the f*ck is that a thing? I didn't even know what it was for a long time. I kept seeing it popping up on youtube, I kept seeing the word plastered all over comments, people seemed obsessed with it, so I finally googled it to find out what it is. Okay, so it's a dance move. Fine. But why has it exploded into a cultural sensation and internet meme?! Apologies if you like it, but it just seems so pointless to me! Like, it's fine to use it as a dance move. Nothing wrong with that. But people seem FREAKING OBSESSED with it for no reason! Like, it's just an arbitrary arm position, and people just flip out and burst at the seams every time anyone does it. It doesn't even mean anything! Like, the wiki page says it signifies triumph or playfulness. Alright. Fine. Whatever. But it's the not greatest thing ever conceived by humankind or something! At best it should be regarded like a thumbs up or something. I just watched an Equestria Girls short in which Rainbow dabbed, and about 80% of the comments were, "OMG RAINBOW DAB I CAN DIE HAPPY!!!!!"
WHY??! WHY DO YOU CARE??!! WHAT IS THE POINT???!! Why don't we, just, like, flip our sh*t every time someone scratches their nose?! OMG!!! RAINBOW SCRATCHED HER NOSE!!!! AAAAAHHH!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!! MY HEAD A SPLODE!!!! MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!!!!
I dunno. I'm sorry. I don't know why this annoys me so much. It just seems like the most pointless and arbitrary thing to make into a meme. I love memes....when they're funny....and actually mean something. Like, for instance, I love how steamed hams has become a meme. Y'know, the Skinner and Chalmers scene on The Simpsons. That was a classic scene from my childhood, before the internet was even a thing, and it tickles me to death that a new generation has made that scene explode in popularity on the internet. It's hilarious, but that's because it's a brilliant scene. But wigging out every time someone moves their arms and puts their head down? WHY??!!!
And that, ponies, is what really grinds my gears.
Y'know what really grind my gears? The frigging time change. Y'know, daylight savings and all that crap. I mean, who needs this sh*t? It serves no purpose anymore. The days get longer in summer, anyway. There's plenty of time for barbecues or whatever the sh*t. Time changes are frickin' awful. Does anyone actually like having to f*ck up their schedule?! Be tired, lose sleep, be late for work, be all screwed up for days. It's the f*ckin' pits. It's the worst, man. I'm so sick of daylight time. They should put it on standard and leave it the hell alone. Us Americans are probably the only stupid country to still recognize stupid Daylight time, huh? And even Arizona managed to jump off this idiot train. Daylight time is an a**load of sh*t, it's a sh*tload of f*ck. Makes us out of sync with the rest of the world. Why can't we have a nationwide vote to get rid of it? You know what the most annoying part of it for me is? I play this silly little app game--Love Nikki Dress-Up. Fashion game. Silly, but I love it. It's one of these sign-in daily and get your loot things. So, the dailies all reset at 5 a.m., but now it's a f*ckin' hour off, because the game servers are in sane-land where they don't recognize idiot-savings time, so the game still says 5, but it doesn't reset until 6. And each day you can get bonus stamina for quests and stuff if you log in during a specific hour. I sign in and do my dailies when I eat breakfast; it's really convenient and fun. So, during standard time, it syncs up so that I get the bonus stamina when I sign in during breakfast. Now, it's off by an hour, and I can't get the stamina unless I wait around or come back and sign in an hour later! Ain't nobody got time for that sh*t! Not gonna rearrange my life for stupid Love Nikki. It works out perfectly during standard time. Celestia, I wish they'd leave the time alone. Write your member of congress; let's get rid of this crap.
DAYLIGHT SAVINGS SUCKIN' F*CKS, IT F*CKIN' SUCKS, IT F*CKIN' BLOWS, IT'S A PIECE A SH*T.... and I don't like it.
P.S. No offense if you happen to like it or anything. That's fine.
Y'know what really grinds my gears?
When you're going through a door to a business and people veer away from their own door to go through yours. Okay, I sound like a frickin' lunatic. Let me explain this more slowly. Okay, so you're heading towards a business entrance that has several sets of double doors. All doors go in both directions, not the kind where there are separate entrances and exits. Someone else is on their way out. They are heading for a different door. You each reach your own respective doors, but then the other person sees you, makes a sudden and abrupt course correction, veers toward you, waits for you to pass the door to them, then goes through your door. Is this making any sense? Let me try again with a short comic. I doodled this in a few seconds, so just pretend it looks good.
This is an overhead view. There I am, heading towards door 3, on my way into the building. The other guy is on his way out.
Now here we go. We both reach our respective doors. I get my hand on the grab bar of my door, he gets his hand on his. The other guy already has his hand on his own door. And then, wait for it....
Bam! He sees me, and he suddenly and quickly lets go of his door, veers over to mine, awkwardly waits a couple seconds for me to go through, waits for me to hand him the door, (which I'm now obligated to do) then goes through...
YOU WERE AT YOUR OWN DOOR!! Why do you do that??!! You had your hand on that door! That's why they have multiple doors!! So we can each use one at the same time!!!! I go through mine, you go through yours. What the hell is wrong with that?!! Huh?! Do you think it's easier to veer over to mine!!?? IT TOOK YOU LONGER!!! It didn't save you time and energy! It was pointless!!! I can understand it if the arrival times are just right so you approach as I'm leaving, so I just hand you the door, but YOU WERE ALREADY OVER THERE GOING THROUGH YOUR OWN DOOOOOOOOOORRRR!!!! Why do you have to veer over to me just because I'm there??!! Oh, and the best part--the other guy will inevitably make an audible, abbreviated "whoops" type sound, indicated that he's made a mistake by starting to go through his own door, and he needs to immediately course correct to mine. "Wup." "Oop." "Ohp". WHHHHYYYYYY????! AAAAARRRRRRGGGG!!!!! MY HEAD A SPLODE!!!!
I know, I know, you're probably thinking, "What the hell is wrong with you? Why does something so dumb and insignificant piss you off so much? Why do you even care?" Well, okay, you got me. It is stupid, and I shouldn't care. I don't know why I do, but of all the little, stupid, everyday things that annoy us, this one irritates me more than anything else. And this isn't some rare fluke thing, either. It happens CONSTANTLY. Like, every time I go out. Any time I go in or out of a business with multiple doors. And I'm not talking about someone starting to go in the wrong way, like they're heading in the out door, and then they course correct. NO. I mean the doors that are all the same. In fact, you know what? This is rich. You'll love this. I was entering my gym, which has a designated IN and OUT door. Clearly labeled: Entrance and Exit. I'm going in the ENTRANCE, and the other dude is going out the EXIT. Then the joker pulls this exact stunt. "Wup," then veers over to mine and goes out the entrance door, the wrong door, just so he could grab the door from me and....what....be saved the 0.00000001 Joules of work required to open a FRICKIN DOOR?! I'm sorry for the rant, but this one REALLY grinds my gears. Just use your own damn door if you're already there.
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears?
This EQG thing. ...what? Oh, no, not the actual franchise. No, I happen to be a big Equestria Girls fan. Didn't used to be, but now I love it. In fact, I denounced it pretty heavily in the beginning, so....I'm a big fat hypocrite, and I don't care. Twilight cracked horn and I don't care. I love Equestria Girls to pieces. So sue me. What grinds my gears is literally the abbreviation EQG. Why the "Q"? So, this is probably just an OCPD thing (which I have), but it seems to me that the abbreviation should be two letters. Two words, so two letters, right? Why does Q come along for the ride? I have always abbreviated it EG. Equestria. Girls. E. G. Makes sense to me. But it seems like the majority go with EQG. It bugs me. You don't abbreviate My Little Pony to MLIP, or MLPO, do you? You don't abbreviate Friendship is Magic to FRIM, do you? You don't abbreviate The Next Generation to TNEG, or Game of Thrones to GAOT. So what gives?! It's not just Equestria Girls, either. This tendency happens any time there is a Q. The letter Q just gets sucked into abbreviations. Why is Q so special? Who the hell does Q think it is?! Where does Q get off?! Well you know what I say? F*CK Q. That's what I say.
Y'know what really grinds my gears? When bronies talk about the fandom as if it's a club that requires dues or regular participation to remain in. I'm so sick of hearing this "quit the fandom" stuff as if you're leaving an organization like the Boy Scouts of America or something. I've taken a mighty whack at this subject on these forums, but I can't seem to make a dent. Here's one more attempt. If you still like the show, then you can still call yourself a brony. If you want to, that is. No one has to do anything they don't want. But this is a fandom--it doesn't require monthly dues, and it doesn't require community participation. If you like the show, then you can call yourself a brony! That's it! Tired of the show? Don't want to watch for awhile? Fine! That doesn't mean you've "quit the fandom"! Not unless you decided that you actually dislike the show! I read these posts all the time that say things like, "I'm going off to college and won't be able to watch the show for awhile, so I'm quitting the fandom. So sorry. I don't want to leave, but I have to." IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU'RE ACTIVE OR NOT. It's a freaking hiatus. I haven't watched Star Wars in years. I'm still a fan. I don't care if you ever watch the show again! If you still like it, then you can still call yourself a brony! You don't have to "quit" the fandom unless you don't like the show anymore!
My head a splode.
Hey. You know what really grinds my gears?
We all know that Hollywood shoots out reboots like a rapid-fire crap machine. Some of them are actually good and warranted, though. Many are grave injustices. But what annoys me to no end is when they give the reboot the exact same title as the original! No subtitle, nothing to differentiate it! This drives me f*ckin nuts, because you constantly have to describe which one you're talking about. Dates are ascribed to movies and games just to be able to tell what we're talking about.
Take these for example:
DOOM. Are we talking about this:
Star Trek. This?
Tomb Raider. This?
I think I've made my case. Give them a frigging subtitle! Tomb Raider Origins, Star Trek Reborn, y'know, something like that! Instead we have to call them Tomb Raider 2013, Ghostbusters 2016, New Star Trek, Abrams Star Trek, sh*t like that. AAARRG!!! It burns me so much!! I had to type in the dates or "original" just to find the right images on Google! AAAARRRR!!!!
Franchises that did it right? The Dark Knight, Man of Steel. What a novel idea. They didn't just call it Batman, and Superman. Now we know what we're talking about. The moral of the story is give reboots a different title or a subtitle, god dammit!
You know what really grinds my gears? New light bulbs.
I'm so f*cking sick of new-fangled light bulbs that burn out like sh*t. Am I the only person who wants incandescent bulbs back? F*ck, I swear, all the new technologies are garbage. First we had compact fluorescent: fabled as lasting much longer than incandescent. They're supposed to last for years. I've never had a single compact fluorescent bulb that lasted any longer than an incandescent. They use less energy, yes. That's a plus. They didn't really seem to be any worse than incandescents. I didn't really mind compact fluorescents. But now those are almost extinct. Now it's all LED. I hate these things. LED is supposed to be far superior to all old technology. Low energy, and they're supposed to last for some...like...a frickin decade at least. That's what they say. We just moved to a new house and got brand new light fixtures, all with LED, and we've already had two bulbs burn out...in FOUR MONTHS. Incandescents woulda lasted longer than that! I've had extremely fickle results with LED flashlights, too. So far, I have not seen one solid piece of evidence to suggest that LED is superior to incandescent, at least not in terms of reliability. I'm not some techphobic old fogey, but I swear, I wish we could go back to tried and true incandescents. They WORKED.
You know what REALLY grinds my gears? These new digital Coca-Cola machines in restaurants. I'm talking about these f*cking garbage heaps:
These things are sh*t. They are so bad. They suck so bad I don't even know where to begin. The old fashioned, hands-free, regular self-serve drink machines are far superior. One of the biggest problems with these new ones is that everything coming out of one tap causes massive contamination. Your drink will always get mixed with a little splash of whatever was last used, unless you hold the button down and just let it run for a second or two. These machines are disgustingly wasteful. But there's so many problems that I think this would be best done in a pro/con bullet point format.
Hands-free, more sanitary.
Can serve 2-3 customers simultaneously, depending on the size.
Extremely fast and convenient. Just dink the cup against the lever. Done.
No contamination. Soda is pure.
Easy to use.
Separate ice dispenser makes it even faster to use.
Reliable, simple technology.
Levers are responsive and stop immediately when released. Easy to get a small amount.
Not as many combinations and drinks available. Oh, so you can't get Mondo Coolers mixed with Capri Sun and Diet Dr. Berry Sprite Zero? Boo-f*cking-hoo. How many varieties of crappy fruit punch do you need?
Lots of varieties, unlimited combos. Now you can have some piss in your fruit punch.
Extremely difficult to use. Takes a long time to navigate the touch screen. Who needs this sh*t? I just want some soda. I DON'T WANT TO UPDATE F*CKIN' WINDOWS!!!
Only one tap means only one customer at a time.
One tap coupled with the length of time required to use means that lines form. You never had to wait in lines like this for the old machines. Total bulls*t.
Unsanitary touch screens smeared with grease.
Soda contamination. Single tap contaminates all drinks with previous selections.
Ice from the same tap which means even more touch screen navigation.
Unreliable. Digital interface freezes, becomes unresponsive. Touch buttons are sluggish and unresponsive in general. Digital interface means bugs, more breakdown potential.
Taps have a tendency to keep running after released, causing spills and messes. Very difficult to get a small amount.
Is that enough?! Obviously, my review wasn't entirely unbiased, but it's still clear that the digital machines are horrible. These machines are so bad they suck. They're so f*cking suck they f*ck. They're garbage. I hate 'em. Case closed.
Hi, it's Justin Case. After another long hiatus, I'm back with an all new episode!
Y'know what really grinds my gears?
I hate how they stop and continue on another page in another section. I understand why they do it, but I think it's f*ckin' bullsh*t. I DON'T WANT TO CONTINUE ON D9! I WANT TO READ THE WHOLE THING RIGHT HERE IN ONE CONTINUOUS SECTION, GOD DAMMIT!
Thanks for joining me. This has been What Really Grinds My Gears.