Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? The phrase "It's that time again." Like, specifically, how they say that in commercials and ads and stuff. "It's that time again! Time to do your Christmas shopping!" "It's that time again! Time to get out your 4th of July barbecue sh*t!" "It's that time again! Time to go back-to-school shopping!" "It's that time again! Time to do your taxes!"
It's always some time again. Stop announcing that as if it's some marvelous, incredible, surpris
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? When people stick their used gum wherever they please, like under tables, or all over the sidewalk. Just ruins the world for everybody. You inconsiderate sh*t. And the same goes for cigarette butts. Where the hell did smokers all get this idea that cigarette butts don't count as littering? It's like this universal rule that you can just drop your cigarette butt wherever you happen to be standing, or just chuck it out the window wherever, and it's t
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? When an AC plug has the asymmetrical tines where one if fatter than the other so you can only plug it in one way. Why the hell the gotta do that?!! Yeah, I know, I know: (*mocking voice*) "Maybe if you did some research and learned why, then you wouldn't have to come here and whine about it!"
Yeah, I know, I know: it's called polarized, and I don't frickin' care. I don't care why they do it! It's f*ckin' annoying! And here's the reason I fin
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? Character limits. Okay, this isn't just an "in general" kind of thing; I have a very specific case that requires a bit of explanation. It's really good, I swear!
Okay, so, I got my mom into video games a few years ago, and she has been playing through a bunch of Xbox 360 games. She ran out of things to do on that system, and she really wants to play the new entries in her favorite franchises (Fallout, Red Dead, Farcry), so we decided to get her
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? When you're drinking something with ice, without a straw, and you get towards the end, and the ice kinda sticks together in the bottom of the glass, and then it suddenly dislodges and comes careening towards your mouth, and you can't act fast enough, and it hits you, and you get the drink all over your face, and some of the drink goes on either side of your mouth and dribbles down your face and onto your shirt.
F*CK THAT SH*T, man.
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? When you purchase a new sweet-ass graphics card and a nice SSD and some sweet-ass RAM for you gaming computer, and then you install everything, and turn the 'puter on, but it doesn't boot. The tower turns on, but the monitor stays black and just doesn't boot anything. So you double check all connections and re-seat everything, but it doesn't help. You already know everything should be compatible for your motherboard, so then you double check your sys
OMG, this one's the worst.
Y'know what really grinds my gears? When some computers and devices can't count properly. Okay, so if you're titling a bunch of files, and you number them, and then you sort by name, you'd expect them to appear in numerical order, right? I mean, that's how it works. Like, if you're using Windows, and you have a folder full of pictures from your camping trip, you can select all of them, and retitle the first one "Camp", and then it will automatically retitle al
Hey. So this one is probably going to ruffle a few feathers, rattle a few cages, frazzle a few manes, steam a few hams, refry a few beans. Don't take it too seriously, k?
Y'know what really grinds my gears? When people refer to the heart as if it knows and feels things. Y'know, they say "heart" when they really mean "brain". This is just leftovers from a time when we actually thought that the heart was the emotion center. We obviously know this isn't true. I don't need to explain any
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? So, you ever been in class in high school, and the bell rings, but the teacher keeps the whole class after because of a couple of unruly students who were misbehaving? Oh, and then they give you the ol' "the bell doesn't dismiss you; I do!" bullsh*t. Isn't that cute? So, it should go without saying that punishing innocents for the crimes of others is by definition one of the most unjust things you could possibly do. But that aside for the moment, do
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? When you try to tear one square of toilet paper, and it doesn't tear neatly along the perforated line, and it shreds and makes a mess, and a cloud of paper dust poofs up into the air. Man, f*ck that sh*t.
Well, that was a short one.
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? The fact that most hair salons charge different prices for men's and women's cuts. What the f*ck is that bullsh*t?! Every salon that I've seen charges more for women's, the justification being that women's haircuts are more difficult. What the f*ck is that bullsh*t?! I realize that may be true much of the time, but it's completely unfair to charge based on sex. Charged based on actual difficulty! What if a woman has short hair and an easy cut, and
Hey. Y'know what REALLY. GRINDS. MY. GEARS???!!! That stupid thing they do in movie trailers or other such ads where display some epic teaser text or tagline or phrase to get you all pumped up, and they separate each word with some epic explosions and quick cuts of epic things from the movie. You know what I'm talkin' about. It's like, some big blockbuster event type movie, like Endgame or something, and they do these quick, dramatic cuts, and in between the shots, they slams the words in
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? Pedestrians that are f*cking oblivious to traffic. Y'know, people that just cross the street and walk in front of cars without checking or looking up. Often times they're fixated on their phones, but sometimes they don't even have a phone and they're just staring at the ground or something. What the f*ck is wrong with you?! Do you want to die?? Is that it?? Is this a suicide attempt??
The worst, the absolute worst, is when people just meander
Y'know what really grinds my grears? When fountain drink machines sputter and spew out a bunch of foam. One of my first entries was about digital drink machines. Now I return to complain about drink machines again. I frickin' hate it when you're filling your soda, and part-way through, the machine coughs and sputters and vomits out some foam or clear liquid with no syrup. You can't just shrug it off and keep filling. It ruins the whole mixture. The entire soda will taste bitter.
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? Public spitting. Y'know, when people hock loogies on the ground in public. Now, I used be a long distance runner, and I understand how it is for athletes. I understand that spitting is sometimes kinda necessary, so I try not to judge too harshly when it comes to athletes, or possibly someone with some kind of health problem, doing it in the dirt, off the pavement. But that's not what I'm talkin' about. I'm talkin' about someone who just gets out of
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? These talking, CGI infections on tv commercials that are used to try to sell medications. You know what I'm talking about.
I'm talkin' bout this sh*t.
Yeah. The Mucinex mucus guy.
Or this sh*t:
So f*ckin' disgusting. Sometimes you see versions where the toenails themselves are CGI characters with sad faces and they talk and complain about their fungus or whatever.
WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! What sick, t
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? Incoherence online.
Despite having extreme social anxiety irl, I've always prided myself on my powers of articulation, and that includes in cyberspace. I do my best to communicate clearly, but everywhere I go online, people talk with such broken, fragmented slang that much of time I have no frigging clue what they're trying to say. I'll just state for the record that I love slang, be it internet-specific abbreviations, or general slang, but I alw
Hey. This is a preemptive Grind My Gears. (For all the good it will do.)
Y'know what's really gonna grind my gears? With S9 being the confirmed end of FIM, I just know that the whole year will be absolutely filled with people saying things like, "I can't believe it's all going to end! The ride is over! The fandom's over! It's all gone! The past nine years, gone! No more Pony! That's it, everyone! Say your goodbyes! It's been fun; so long!" and such and such.
When I hear tha
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? When waiters/waitresses/servers don't write your order down. You ever get one of these jokers? What, are we supposed to impressed? Are you so proud of your memory that you want to show it off? You think we'll be so impressed by your astounding memory that you'll get a bigger tip? Is that it? Well guess what? Every single time I've had a server do this, they either get stuff wrong and I have to send the food back, and/or they come back to the tabl
Today's entry will be a little different. With Grind My Gears, I usually stick to more global things about society that bother me, or silly everyday type stuff that can bother anyone. I usually do more timeless stuff, not current news cycle stuff that has more of a narrow window of relevancy. But this is just too important. This needs to be said now.
You know what really, really, REALLY grinds my gears?! Today I popped onto Steam, and I saw a news headline that Steam is having a midwee
Y'know what really grinds my gears? Sex-specific colors. Y'know, this blue for boys and pink for girls sh*t. Why is this so ingrained in our culture? They're just freakin' colors. Reflected wavelengths of light. They don't have anything to do with one sex or the other. Anyone can like any color they want.
One of the best examples of this is when I go self-serve frozen yogurt shops. Every one I've ever been to has green and pink spoons. Or sometimes it's blue and purple.
Y'know what really grinds my gears? "Manscaping". Oh, ho, ho! Hold on, there, chief--it's prolly not what you think! I'm not talking about men shaving body hair; I'm talking about the term. See, I'm male, and I myself shave my body hair, including legs, because I like the way it looks and feels much better. So why's it gotta have this stupid term?! MANscaping. Pffft. Why does it need this "man" prefix, as if to emphasize the fact that it's weird or wrong or something. Why cal
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? How the cords and cables for electronic devices never want to go the right way. Don't know what I'm talking about? Oh, I'm sure you do. Let me just explain it. Every time I try to plug in a device cable that is unidirectional, meaning it has to be oriented the correct way, like a standard USB connector, or HDMI, the cord always "wants" to go the wrong way. The cables always have a "natural" position, an orientation that they naturally "want" to be
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? When people use the word "itch" when they mean "scratch". I hear this all the time. Y'know, like when people say "I itched my mosquito bite." "My leg itches so I itched it." No, no, no, NO, NO. You had an itch, so you scratched it. You don't itch something that itches. You scratch it. Scratching is what you do to an itch. Look it up. Learn the difference.
Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears? When characters on tv spit out liquid in surprise. Y'know, spit takes.
Okay, it was kinda funny here,
just because it's Pinkie and they had a self-aware sort of sense of humor about it. But in general, spit takes annoy me. Nobody actually does that in real life! It never happens! At least, I've never seen it happen. I knew a guy who would spit out liquid from laughing (boy did we have some fun with that in high school), but I've never