Backstory (aka Hold On I'll Try And Explain This Crap)

The year is 250 BC (Before Celestia. Don't let those Christians tell you otherwise.) Three tribes of ponies remain at odds: Earth ponies, Unicorns and Pegasi. Equestria does not exist: Instead, the three tribes are (presumably) too busy being discriminatory bastards to learn that pooling their resources could be an actual good idea.

 

One day, a mighty blizzard strikes, famine befalls the land, and tensions boil over.

 

Then, by the power of Deus Ex Machina (We can only presume it's THAT GODDAMN DISCORD.), the three tribes find themselves on a strange new planet, inhabited by ugly, two-legged creatures. The three tribes look around: The land is strange, and so are the people. "Humans" so they call themselves.

 

Gaia or "Earth" is in a state of complete and total war. Unlike the three tribes of ponies, these "humans" have taken hostility to a whole new level. Forging strange items such as "swords", "spears", "shields", "slings" and a variety of other pointy or blunt implements, humans resolve their tensions by simply clubbing or stabbing eachother to death.

 

Later finding themselves in different parts of a country called "Greece", the three tribes wonder what to do. They hate eachother, the climate is odd, and the humans are too busy killing or being killed to notice that in the streets of what were Epirus, Sparta and Athens, strange, large pastel-coloured ponies are wandering around.

 

Athens calls them "GIFTS FROM ATHENA!", Sparta calls them "WARRIOR STALLIONS FROM ARES!", Epirus calls them nothing as they're too busy being oppressed by Macedon to say anything.

 

This is good news for the tribes: No lengthy building of empires or cities. All they need is the right application of subversion and cunning, and they can and will take them for themselves. Not only that, but now they can kill eachother without actually killing eachother. Just persuade the humans to do it.

 

Earth in 250BC isn't swayed by the arrival of magical fighting ponies. They're too busy with important shit like conquering, killing, raping and conquer-raping. The Roman Republic is making the slow march to being a Roman Empire by destroying anything that yells at them. Gaul is busy rampaging everywhere and burning shit down. Germania is busy rampaging into Gaul and burning shit down. In the far East, Nomadic tribes are running around firing arrows at everything that move, while Eastern empires such as the Seleucids, Baktria, Parthia, Pontus and others are running actual horses that aren't cartoon ponies over people and trampling them to death. To the South lies Egypt, now less Egyptian and more "Macedonia Two: We're Going To Kidnap Alexander's Body For The Lulz", Carthage is in the south-west, hording elephants and infantry to begin the almighty task of kicking the shit out of Rome, and Britannia is sitting around, doing nothing and instead scratching its balls while making human sacrifices. In Greece, they are now looking around and wondering what to do with pastel-coloured ponies that clearly don't make good food ("GODDAMMIT HEPHAESTION IT'S TALKING TO ME I CAN'T EAT THIS") and can't be ridden (That would open up some very grey areas, despite what clopfics may tell you.) All this while Macedonia and several Illyrian, Thracian and Dacian tribes hover nearby, ready to take advantage of cartoon pony-related weakness and take Greece.

 

So why not go to war?

 

The world is growing and changing. Seas and rivers no longer form boundaries, but just entities to step over while punching people in the face. Empires grow and swallow tribes. And now, stuck in the middle of it, are our beloved ponies.

 

Do you spread love and tolerance? Or will you take the reins and create your own empire, an Equestria that spans another world?

 

Wherever you go, everything wants to, can, and will kill you. Or maybe even sacrifice you. Or eat you. Or all three.

 

This is Total War.

 

How far would you go for Equestria?

 

**

 

Alright, so I took the next logical step with the mod. Most things are working right. There are a few grammatical hiccups from modding the text data, but otherwise? It's workable. When I start working on units, i'll probably think the bloody opposite, but it works.

 

So, I decided to take the Greek States, and replace them with three different locations from the games, resembling the three tribes. Ponyville (As it was founded by Earth Ponies), Cloudsdale (Exclusively inhabited by pegasi) and Canterlot (Massive city of wealth, culture, and all kind of rich things. Like Unicorns. Fecking Unicorns).

 

**

 

Meet The Tribes

 

Cloudsville (replaceS Sparta HAHAHAHAHAHAHA GOOD GODDAMN RIDDANCE)

A tribe of mighty Pegasi and Human Warriors, there are few tougher, few meaner, and few more dedicated. Though they'd eventually form part of the Royal Guard, they were a terrifying tribe in their own right.

 

Note 1: During a Civil War, Cloudsville has to fight Spartan Human Rebels.

Note 2: Planning on giving a slight boost to infantry recruitable by Spartans, and plan to give slight trade boost to Sparta to hopefully stimulate them forming an empire and creating a more dynamic balance of power in Greece.

 

Canterlot (replaces Athens)

What would become the central city of Equestria, Canterlot is a city of culture, wisdom and wealth. Home of the Unicorns, and preferring love and harmony to warfare, Canterlot could very well form the beating heart of an empire should she decide to fight..

 

Note 1: If Canterlot forms an empire (So far, it's only possible if you play as them. I assume that, if you play long enough, Athens may be enough of a world power if it survives to form an empire following a civil war), it forms an Equestrian Empire.

Note 2: The major building it can construct for culture (ie; it's top faction building) is Canterlot Castle.

 

Ponyville (replaces Epirus)

A tribe of hard-workers, Earth Ponies have taken residence in Epirus, driving an agrarian revolution. They are still a tribe through and through, and will fight to the death to protect their fellow ponies and human hosts. The work and toil in the fields could easily forge a warlord capable of forging a new Equestria...

 

Note: Will be getting a heavy tweak to ensure survival, especially in terms of soldier power and trade.

 

**

 

A Few Notes

 

1) I'm going to have test out some mods on how they affect the factions. The reason for this is simple: Though i've shown that Canterlot/Athens can survive and grow, it's always grim for Ponyville/Epirus. It rarely survives, if at all. Sparta/Cloudsville varies: In some campaigns, it can rival Athens/Canterlot and make an empire of its own. In other campaigns, it sits there and does nothing.

 

2) I highly, highly, highly, highly, HIGHLY doubt there'll be actual pony models in the game. The reason for this is twofold:

i) I can't stress how shit I am at modding. I can make textures in Photoshop and create new units, but 3D modelling ain't my forte.

ii) With how the game operates, and its files, I'm not sure if it'd take nicely to ponies.

 

I know it sucks, but bugger off.

 

3) The mods remaining private for now. Though this mod in itself is entirely made by me (This is a separate mod from the units i've added), there's still a crapload of work to do. It's not actually interested anyone, which is good, but on the off-chance that you're insane enough to: Sorry, but not now.

 

**

 

Pictures

 

It's that time again. Time to show off what little work i've done! WOOHOO!

 

As you can see, I need to create an emblem for Ponyville. As you can see, they have the trait "Love and Tolerance" that enables the brutal assimilation of enemy tribes under the guise of caring. You can also see a wee bit of description for the City State of Canterlot

 

Same for Cloudsdale.

 

The three cities. As you can see, Cloudsdale starts hostile with Ponyville, because it's weak as shit and can be beaten if you throw stones at it long enough. Only a fine warlord will be able to take Ponyville and mould it into something that isn't a punching bag.

 

Cloudsdale emblem, based on Pegasi Tribe banner. Too faint, needs re-doing.

 

Cloudsdale Hoplites looking ashamed in their shields.

 

Thanks to the way the game works in terms of edited data (ie; Not very goddamn well), I've had to edit certain units with their own colour scheme. This is the only one completed so far, with Spartan Royal Guard replaced with Cloudsdale Guard. Notice their proud beards, good posture, fancy cloaks and pointy killing implements.

 

There is a shit-load of re-texturing that needs to be done which will severely slow down the mod. Red crest? Pah, it won't work! Although the soldier next to the Captain clearly wants that awesome helmet.

 

Case in point: I've edited the Faction Uniform Colours but for some goddamn reason (ie; It's Creative bloody Assembly) the changes aren't showing. Also notice how, because the Spartan emblem was uniform for every single hoplon, it's replaced with the Pegasi symbol in every instance. Unless I create entirely new shields, it's a horde of Pegasi coming at you. But notice how the oval shield of the standard bearer has the Spartan lambda still on it. Goddammit, this is gonna take a while.

SPECIAL: TWO IN-GAME LOADING SCREENS

(NOTE: Resized them for display or else my blog would explode.)

 

The Pegasi were a fierce tribe who enjoyed killing, maiming, and yelling at people of a lower caste than them. This is why they won't expect the SUEBI TO WIPE THEM OUT FOR WODAN

 

SHUT UP SHUT UP AND BOW TO FLUTTERSHY BEST PONY GODDAMMIT

 

...Rhodarein made this wallpaper, and it is fucking excellent.

 

***

 

Parting Thoughts (aka Going Back To Work Dammit)

 

This is going to take a while, and it's going to involve a lot of hardship, pain and punched screens.

 

I'm enjoying it, at least. There's just something about seeing those poor humans, fighting in the name of factions related to a childrens show involving talking pastel ponies, getting completely minced by a horde of roaring Germanic berserkers. I also get giddy, watching as every little crap thing I do is somehow replicated on the screen without royally cocking up and causing my laptop to explode and cause red shot shards of glass to pierce my face and turn me into Colonel Volgin.

 

Nobody cares about it, but I do. Mostly because this is a practice for improving the goddamn Brigantes faction AND LEADING MY ANCESTORS IMMORTAL GLORY, but, hey, its pretty neat being able to eradicate the Greek States and replace them with Equestrian States.

 

I'm also interested in just placing spies in Greece/Equestria for a single campaign, and ending each turn without doing anything, just to see how the AI handles it. It tickles me to see Canterlot, in my current campaign, running riot across the land while Ponyville lies in tatters and Cloudsdale sits there, arms folded, waiting for either the moment to strike or the sweet release of a Roman Gladius to the throat.

 

We'll see. But at the end of it all, I guess we'll be able to answer the question: "How far will you go to Equestria?"

 

And if you answer doesn't include "Enslave half of the free world", then you're going to be in for a tough time.

 

 

Crap To Do

 

1) Edit units.

2) Create at least 2 new units for each major Pony faction.

3) Edit texts for Campaigns.

4) Possibly edit texts and pictures for research tree.

5) Lay down and cry.

6) Drink.

7) Create new emblem for Ponyville.

8) Modify Mercenary units.

9) Create "Legio Equestria" for Rome faction.

10) Drink some more.

11) Attempt to add Equestrian units to auxiliary pool if possible.

12) Include sound files to have Equestrian factions yell out that goddamn spine-chilling ferocious war cry of "Winter Wrap Up".

13) Possibly modify sound files for introduction of factions which, to me, a complete idiot, is going to be like re-programming the Ark of the Covenant while blindfolded and with hands stuck in buckets covered in piranhas with Velociraptors for teeth.

14) Drink, cry, then drink tears.