Hey, guys. Sorry I wasn't able to be on here that much this week. School just started, and from how this week went, it's gonna be an interesting year. And by interesting, I mean I'm going to improve myself. Last year, I had a horrible year due to social anxieties and nearly losing my life because of a diabetic shock attack, not to mention, the most I've ever thought of suicide in my entire life. This year, I'm going to at least improve myself by not going to the most extreme measure when I fail something that can be easily fixed.

Not too long ago, I made a thread about my problems with my love life, and after reading the responses, I decided to take those words to heart, as I'm not going to let my feelings ruin me again. I know it's normal to feel and be emotional, but I don't want a repeat of last year, and maybe even actually commit suicide because I have a hard time coping with my problems. Honestly, I don't think I'll fully get over my problems and desires, but I don't want to spend all my time dwelling on them, and getting into a deeper hole than I've ever been in. I'm also going to find out what I want to do with my life, and learn a few things about myself. I did learn one thing, though: I am my worst enemy. While everybody treats me with respect, I treat myself like I'm a fucking sociopath. I beat myself up over the simplest of things, and think that I'm doomed to be a failure throughout my life. Reading those responses in my love thread made me realize that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. If you don't love yourself, there's no point in going after a relationship. Not to mention, because I'm autistic, I tend to misread girls, causing me to think of them as potential mates rather than friends. I need to stop doing that, and just be a good guy friend, and not worry about my love life.

I'm also thinking of learning martial arts from one of my teachers, just so I can be more athletic, and gain some muscles. This will go injunction with me going to the gym to gain some muscles, mostly because I'm still a little underweight, and I don't like being underweight.

That's all I really have to say, and I do plan on making things better for myself. This has been Blue Blood, and thank you for reading.