(Notice: This post is a half joke. I mean all of what I said, I just don't feel as strongly on these subjects as this post would imply.)

I have no interest in women at all. I don't have any interest in guys, either. I don't want to date, I don't want long terms relationships, none of that. You might be thinking to yourself: "Oh, Hylian. You say that now, but when you-" Nope. Stop right there. There are a number of reasons I have for not wanting a long term relationship, none of which will ever change unless I get possessed by an alien or my third attempt at making a tulpa goes awry.

First, relationships are too damn expensive. Having one mouth to feed and entertain is quite simple. I love ramen noodles, so that's about a dollar per meal for me. Simple. Having to take a woman out to expensive restaurants and give her exorbitant amounts of dough so she can go shopping is the complete opposite of simple. I am a very selfish guy. I don't like to share. I especially don't like it when I have to share with someone who not only requires hugungous (It's a word I made up, a portmanteau of huge and humongous. Deal with it.) amounts of my hard earned cash from me, but does it on a regular basis.

And once you get MARRIED, then it's just off the wall. Not only do you have to continue to support the woman, some kids get thrown into the mix as well. They constantly need new diapers, expensive baby foods, and a bunch of stupid toys that will litter the floor of your house like traps in the Great Pyramid of Giza. And with babies, it's not only the fact that they're expensive as hell. THEY NEVER FREAKING SHUT UP. You see, I value sleep more than I value the life of any human being on this planet, living or dead. And as a father, I'd probably be lucky to get 3 hours of sleep a night, which would result in me being irritable the next day, which, after a while, might get me fired. So then, I'd be stuck with an expensive woman, and expensive child, and no way to pay for them.

In short, I hate kids, I'm indifferent to women, and I don't want anything to do with either.