Kinda Paranoid...
So I've decided to start watching Without A Trace again (cause why not ) and I've sort of developed a little fear in regards to my future.
Since I'll be moving to America (most likely never) in two years or so I'm worried about what can happen. My family wants me to go back to Houston and live with my aunt or at least close to the family there. But I really just want all family out of my life, I don't want anyone checking on me or criticizing me anymore. Plus Houston isn't the best place to live without a car, and I don't want to depend on my family to get anywhere.
Therefore I've decided without a doubt I'm still moving to Redlands. It's the best place I can go since it has everything I need and want within biking distance of the apartments I hope to live in. But....since I'm watching a show dealing with missing people, that's where my fear comes in
I'm scared that since my ex no longer gives a damn about where I go or do, he won't want to help me once I move. So even if I go to Redlands or anywhere else, I'll be alone. If anything bad happens to me no one will miss me or inquire about my whereabouts. I could have an accident at home and if I die no one will find the body unless I miraculously die around the time the rent is due
So yeah I'm pretty scared....if I'm kidnapped, raped, followed, no one will know. As much as I want my freedom there are tremendous risks that come with being alone, and this is one of them
Plus there's also the fact that even my mom had help when we moved while in Houston, I'll have no help whatsoever and I'll be taking at least two suitcases with me, I don't know how to cook much, and I can't even clean a bathroom. So I'm pretty much screwed -_- My ex seriously expects me to just take this humongous step in my life completely by myself and even though I look forward to it, I'm scared
I don't know what I'll do....
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