In this blog entry I wanted to discuss what DPD is, and what a developmental delay means. These are both things I have a live around and cope with, and I wanted to write a post about them to help people better understand me or gain some insight into why I am the way I am, etc. I hope you’ll keep an open mind while reading this, and perhaps learn something new!
What is DPD?:
DPD stands for “Dependent personality disorder”. This disorder makes it so that a person is more likely to encourage or need someone else to make their life decision’s for them, they need a person to be their “dependent”, the person who makes their decisions and sort of cares for them similar to how one might care for a child (in my case at least), they often are unable to argue with or make any sort of demands from this person out of fear of losing them considering they feel they need their dependent to survive, they feel very anxious and helpless when left alone because they feel they are unable to care for themselves, they are generally very passive and self-defeating. Essentially, it is a disorder that gives one an intense pathological fear that they will die if left alone, and they need someone to take care of and make important choices for them.
For me, this person is my fiance. He has no problem with and even seems to enjoy being able to handle my money for me, make important decisions for me, talk to authority figures for me and generally hold my hand and allow me to feel relaxed in knowing that I will not die of neglect because I have someone to care for me.
What is a developmental delay?:
This term generally refers to a child who is not physically or mentally where they should be in comparison to other children, however I did not have this problem since childhood it began after the abuse I suffered in my early teens. Though it is more attached to my PTSD, I still call it this because it essentially functions the same way. A lot of people mistake me for far, far younger than my physical age. On a forum I use regularly which requires one to be 18 to join, originally I had an account when I was 18 and I was banned because I look young. I am 20 years old now and still appear around 12, I cannot help the way I look and I am not ashamed of it, so I wish people would stop treating me unfairly or unkindly because of it. As far as emotional and mental maturity, I am very much prone to enjoy childish things. I love my little pony, lady lovelylocks, rainbow brite and other childrens programs. I love going to Disney world and allowing myself to be as a child, and my room is full of toys from furreal friends to expensive dolls. My family, my true friends and my fiance all accept and love me regardless and do not think me any less of a person because of it.
These are things that effect me every day, they effect how I preform in college or at work (I’m soon to be on disability, however), they effect how I think and behave and feel and how I live my life. They are not things I will ever be able to run away from, but they are things I can learn to work with/around, and with the understanding of the people around me I can come to have a beautiful life regardless of these things.
I want to explain these things because I want, more than anything else in life, for people to understand and be tolerant towards people like me, and the mentally ill in general. I want “Different” to stop meaning “Bad”.
Thank you for reading.