Welcome, one and all, to the season two wrap-up of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!

Yes, I'm a day late again, but Friday became unexpectedly busy earlier in the day to the point that when I did have free-time to write a review, I had completely forgotten that I had to do it. This was followed by having to be at work within the next hour, so I decided "fuck it" until tomorrow night. Anyways, let's see if this episode was worth the wait. This is "Ponyville Confidential".

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So this episode's whole prologue is this kid named Featherweight getting his cutie mark, followed by stupid shit done by 2/3 of the CMC with newspaper. CMC + Stupid Shit = Happy PrymeStriker, clearly. Remember how much I loved "Crusaders of the Lost Fuck-Up?" No? Me neither! After the title sequence turns my outsides into insides and vice versa, picking me apart for spare units in the cogs that are the machine of modern day fascist culture and corporate profit, aka Ghostbusters 2016, we see that Apple Bloom thinks the CMC might do good at being writers in the school newspaper. Why? Who the fuck knows and who the fuck cares! After class, the CMC stick around to become part of the Breakfast Club until it's announced that there will be a new editor-in-chief given the previous one's graduation. Guess who it is? The pony that's good at cheering up friends!

Making Ponyville great again?

Fuck. Me. Please...as Donald Trump...*AHEM*...I mean Diamond Tiara, commands her legion to bring her the juiciest stories. The fuck? Is this school-time TMZ now? We've already got enough bullshit with that show. It seems that's what the people want, though, as the CMC by happenstance catch the "juicy" story of Snips and Snails being bound together by bubblegum. Diamond Tiara wants more after this, so the CMC become the new gossip columnists as 'Gabby Gums'. I once dated a chick named 'Gabby Gum Disease'. To my surprise, she had a rather unfortunate condition that prevented our relationship from reaching the next level. She had AIDS. Anyways, Rarity happens to stumble upon Sweetie Belle's copy of the column and inquires to bring it to show her friends. Apparently everyone wants mundane shit to read in the paper.

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Local prostitute wipes out stallion population with killer cooch!

The CMC subsequently decide to expand their reach beyond the school, capturing juicy stories from all over the town! Dear God, and I thought the Crystalling was some scary doomsday shit. They push out plenty of stupid additions people find interesting for some reason, such as 'Pound and Pumpkin Cake: Trip to the Store Ends in Tears', 'The Great and Powerful Trixie's Secrets Revealed', 'Celestia Just Like Us', 'PrymeStriker Shits Out a Soap Opera', 'The Feminist Occult Shall Rise Again', and so forth. The whole town is eating this shit up, including our mane six, but Twilight seems a bit skeptical of the columns. Even the CMC start to regret it a bit once they consider hurting other people's feelings. Look, I'm all against cheap shitty gossip, but seriously, fuck other people's "feelings". See what having a conscience gets you? So they try to do a more honest entry, but are rejected.

"Bitch?! What the HAAAIILL is this shit?! The HAAILL you think this is 'stablishment is? I's abou ta smackaya umpsidejahedd, nammmsayin?"

Everyone seems to love Gabby Gums until they start getting into the paper. 'Applejack Sleeps with Big Mac', 'Twilight Sparkle eats Canterlot Snot', 'Fluttershy was a Tranny until "A Bird in the Hoof"', and so on. This is when Rarity discovers that Sweetie Belle is Gabby Gums....or at least a third of it. Rarity confronts Sweetie Belle, asking her if she really thinks her destiny is to write nasty things and make everyone miserable. Well, that's been my destiny, and look where I am. Top of the fuckin' world. However, Diamond Tiara will not allow the CMC to quit the columns. So...what? Since when can a superior force you not to quit? I get dealing drugs and being a hooker would result in a difficult two-week notice, but the school newspaper? Alas, they are not allowed to stop being Gabby Gums because Diamond Tiara uses blackmail. If they quit, she'll publish these embarrassing photos taken by Featherweight. Asshole.

That's just low................................................................low-grade blackmail. It's not top-notch unless there's blood involved.

So as they roam around Ponyville, they notice that no one wants to deal with them now that their Gabby Gums secret is out thanks to Rarity. Ehhh, I don't get it. Shouldn't Sweetie Belle have at some point explained that they were being forced to do it by Diamond Tiara? In fact, Sweetie Belle even admitted they didn't like it. So what's everyone pissed off at them about? Take it up with the school, I'm sure this is against district policy or something. There's better ways to handle this than to be dickshits to three schoolgirls. Look at me, this episode's logic is making me defend the CMC! That's a new low. With their reputations and morals on the line, they come up with their best column yet: 'An Open Letter to Ponyville by Gabby Gums'. Here, they apologize for the bullshit and sign off for the very last time.

Well, at least Gabby Gums was better than that other column series. PrymeStriker's Episode Reviews were the worst thing to happen to Ponyville.

Before Diamond Tiara can print the embarrassing photos, Ms. Cheerilee FINALLY gets involved and shuts down her operation. So concludes "Ponyville Confidential".

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Well, alright then.

Not a bad episode by any means. For one, this episode puts us into the nit-and-grit of possibly one of the CMC's most competent attempts at getting their cutie marks. There's also this episode for taking those adventures down a peg, which seemed to be a lasting effect. The first two acts aren't amazing, but still good progressions of the story. It's the third act I have the most problems with, firstly because of the above logic rant. I have major problems when a story takes the "eating shit up until it happens to you" approach, mostly because I can't possibly relate to it, so there's no point and going further. That was surely the case at this point in the episode. Also, I felt the whole moral was a little rushed, and I can't believe I'm going to say this, but Diamond Tiara seemed out of character here. Shocking, I know, but I don't think she would've been the editor-in-chief of the school newspaper, let-alone actually be willing to cooperate with the blank flanks on any level. This episode also makes me think what the hell Cheerilee was smoking when she allowed Diamond Tiara to run for class president in "Crusaders of the Lost Fuck-Up" after THIS shit. Another nail in the coffin for that episode, but I still think this one's okay overall. I'll solidify it's 8/10 rating.

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I'm gonna go watch The Legend of Korra now.