I hate it when you ask for a shoulder to cry on or an ear to tell your woes to, the other person always has to try and be Dr. Phil. I hate it when all you want is to get stuff off your chest, but this guy over here has to try out his 4 month understanding of psychology on you. I get it; you don't want to say nothing. Sometimes nothing is all that needs to be said.

With that said, it's even more annoying when they tell you your problems. You should do this, you should do that. Whenever I have a problem everyone around me thinks they need to tell me how to live my life in order for it to be better. Can I just say, that is the stupidest and most inappropriate thing you can do to someone who needs your support.

Everyone I ever go to berates me, makes me out to be the source of it all. I will say that yes, I could do more. I could actually study for my engineering tests instead of winging it. I could put my heart on the line and post my music to the fandom, maybe even make money off it. But I can't. I won't. I've tried.

For the former of my list, I don't have a place to live. I couch surf...so far the o my places that allows me to sleep for free and what not don't have internet. It's not like I'm poor, finding a place to live in California is hard. The later, well...I've been in the fandom for a decent amount of time. As such, I've made enemies with Brownies(long time brownies will know this term) who have made it their life goal to rid me from the fandom.

It's really sad since I'm all they ever think of...but I guess that's what haters do best lol. Luckily they are the type of Brownies the mods of this site have already banned(you'll know them as flamers, or cloppers). Unfortunately, they know how to stalk their enemies. I posted art to Deviantart, they stole it, claimed it was theirs, and got me banned...in hindsight,cursing out the people trying to help me wasn't my finest hour. Anyways, because of this I never post art online. I also started rapping and made a mediocre brony rap song. They decimated it, claiming it was a white autistic boy trying to make little girls look gangster and that I know nothing of real pain.

I know real pain. I've been to hell and back twice. Heck, I was born dead. This life was never going to be easy on me. It made that point from the start. I almost lost half my brain as a baby. *insert story of dead beat dad leaving my mom after he got a green card off her. Now insert story about he wants me back so he can marry me off to my HALF SISTER so she can become a US citizen*

On top of that, this dude hooked on cocaine was trying to kill me recently...like two weeks ago as of October 13th. Cops made him stop trying to contact me, but he's still a free man...even though he bought cocaine off a kid. He also stole 2 grand from me and the cops don't care about it. The dude claimed he was in the mafia and the way the cops were acting, as if to say 'we know, we just don't care', like I was just saying random words. I showed them a pile of evidence and they just shrugged it off. What scared me the most, if I had been killed the cops said they wouldn't even consider him a suspect.

I could go on about my problems, but because I have low self worth right now; I know no one cares. I'm just writing this because no one else wants to talk to me and make sure I'm ok...I'm
Ok...I'm just alone,broken, and tired.....tired of this life.