So I put up a banner....

Okay, let's see. "Twilight Time".........................................................................................................................

FINALLY! A WHOLE EPISODE ABOUT TWILIGHT MASTURBATING!

It's like the Pony Gods have answered my prayers. This'll be rrriiiiiiich. Alright, as per matter of course, it's time to take a trip down memory lane and see what I thought about this episode when it first aired. 

On 2/23/2014 at 9:47 PM, PrymeStriker said:

I thought this episode was fairly decent. Nothing to rave over, but still. 

Wow. That was the most thought provoking review I've ever read. Like, it makes me really consider my place in the universe, man. Have you ever, like, stopped to look at the grass, man? It's like, way far out brah. Peace and love, maaan............No, seriously, that was my entire post on this episode's thread on the forums, no clipping involved. Strange considering I remember at least giving a paragraph every episode. Well, just like last time, we're going to see if this opinion holds up. This, is *snicker*..wait a minute, I can't....*giggle*......."Twilight Time".

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So this episode opens up with the Cutie Mark Crusader-OH NO, GOD, TWILIGHT. NOT THE CHILDREN. YOU CAN'T MASTURBATE TO THE CHILDREN. THAT'S CHEERILEE'S JOB! Oooooh dear, this joke took a very unexpected turn. So...um...this episode opens up with Twilight teaching the Cutie Mark Crusaders....."new skill sets". *shivers*. Specifically, Scootaloo is practicing putting together bikes and such, Sweetie Belle is practicing her levitation magic, and Apple Bloom is practicing...potions. As Sweetie Belle exclaims that she will never get her cutie mark with these talents, Twilight explains that while they may not receive cutie marks, it's always good acquire new skills. Establishing from the beginning that these skills aren't going to play a major role in the CMC arc. It's almost like they were still building this arc up until season five gave it a radical turn of events for no apparent reason. Alas, it is true, the CMC aren't very good at the new talents they're working on, but it's because they're still learning. Apple Bloom fucks up her flower-growing potion so bad that they grow a flower with intense tuberculosis (not joking), and then laugh at it. This may be sickening and disturbing to some, but I find it to be among the series most hilarious jokes 'cause I'm a twisted fuck.

From birth, this little fucker had no chance.

After the "Skip Intro" button makes me taste the sweet, sweet fumes of sperm sandwich, we return to the school where Diamond Tiara and her bitch are gathering all their classmates around to tell them that she's going to do some acrobatics now. And the rest of the school should care...why? ....Eh, fuck it, they do care for some reason. When Diamond Tiara explains that she's tired, though, she brings her butler to do the tricks for her. After he's done, she gets all the accolades from her peers because the schoolponies in this episode are really stupid. Like, more than usual. As the CMC watch in disgust, Sweetie Belle suggests that if they get really good at the stuff Twilight's teaching them (oh dear Jesus), maybe they will be the big shots around here. Yeah! Then Diamond Tiara can go give a cactus a blowjob! However, when Diamond Tiara tease the CMC about not being able to do anything cool, Sweetie Belle blurts out that they hang out with Princess Twilight all the time. And, to paraphrase a quote from 00mariofan4eva00's glorious magnum opus fan fiction "CRISIS IN TIMESPACE": "ad twilite dimond tiera was so shock to hear." I mean, my memories a bit blurry on early season continuity, but hasn't Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon seen Twilight before? In fact, haven't they seen her with the CMC? I mean, I'm not taking points off for this since I'm not sure, and it's reasonable to believe that Diamond Tiara would be shocked that they hang out "all the time" per-say, but it's still a bit odd. Regardless, Diamond Tiara suddenly wants to come along with the CMC to "Twilight Time" herself. You know what unfortunate scandal keeps coming to mind whenever I think of the title of this episode? The accusations against Michael Jackson for child molestation in the 90's. 

Twilight proceeded to go Tirek on their asses.....in very raunchy ways. GOD THE TITLE OF THIS EPISODE SUCKS SO MUCH.

As you see above, the CMC thought it funny to see Diamond Tiara being a tryhard around them, so they brought her and her bitch along for the lols. Twilight, however, was not lol. She suggested that they keep Twilight Time "just between us". OHHHHHHHHHHHHH FFFFFFFUCK. This episode is not making it difficult with how many times you can take this shit out of context! Anyways, the CMC expected to see Diamond Tiara try and fail at doing some task Twilight assigns them, but when Twilight explains that Twilight Time is only for the CMC, they are now forced to display their inexperience to Diamond Tiara, which can only turn out so well. While they didn't make fun of the CMC, they eventually told everyone at school about Twilight Time, and now they all want to experience it for themselves, which causes a whole new slew of problems for the CMC. Luckily, Sweetie Belle's "got this", as she laughs at the thought of the plan anyway now she's at her grave. *ahem*. Sorry, more fanfiction references. Instead of inviting all the ponies to Twilight Time per-say, she invites Twilight out to a public place for lunch in which the schoolponies can stalk her through the window. GG. GG. 

Hmm, what age-old meme can I resurrect for this caption? Oh, yes. "I always feel like somebody's watching me". 

Once Twilight inevitably sees the paparazzi outside, she goes out to investigate only to be swarmed by schoolponies. However, instead of being mad at the CMC, she welcomes the attention and then bids the CMC farewell. So it works out for everyone. Twilight isn't mad, and the CMC's popularity grows stronger. Whodathunk. It seems the CMC are actually climbing up the ladder as they use their popularity as a means to get favors....that is, until the CMC explain that the schoolponies can't join them for Twilight Time. Then they all turn into angry mob zombies and try to kill our three dipshits. They even beat them to Twilight's library, as the great princess herself opens the door to see a swarm of schoolponies at her door. The CMC try to explain that they didn't mean for this to get out of hand, but Twilight need hear no more. She's...perfectly okay with all the ponies joining them for Twilight Time. Err, then what was the point of the "just between us" line, you might ask? Apparently it was just for the CMC's benefit, Twilight herself doesn't mind. Mmmmmm....seems a bit wonky. If that were the case, I don't think Twilight would say to keep this just between them so much as she'd ask the CMC if they're sure they wanna bring other ponies along. The tipping point for Twilight is when she learns that the CMC have been harping Twilight Time as a means for popularity in school, and henceforth challenges the CMC to display the improvement of the skillsets they've learned to prove that they were learning from Twilight for learning's sake. As you might imagine, they haven't had much time to practice, and proceed to fuck up faster than two quasigender modems can interface and reproduce infant swan turtles.

So that's what Twilight's cum looks like!

Diamond Tiara attempts to tease the CMC for not coming to Twilight Time "to learn", but then Twilight unleashes a super sick burn by stating "neither did any of you". #REKT #BESTVINES2017 #GONESEXUAL #COPSINVOLVED. The CMC proceed to apologize to Twilight for unleashing shit's creek, and as they prepare to leave, actually manage to prove their skillsets better than before, with Apple Bloom growing a flower that Sweetie Belle levitates to Twilight's hair. It's this small act that forces the princess to reconsider everything and give them a chance. Over time, the CMC learn to improve their skills and even get to write an entry in the journal that went nowhere, delivering the moral about forgiveness or whatever. The twist to it all is that the CMC...sort of have to keep Twilight Time a secret now. FOR FUCKS SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE, YOU'RE NOT MAKING THIS EASY!!!!!!! ............................................................................*cough*............So, um, it's disguise time?

"Sometimes it's so nifty, when I'm really really shifty in disguiiiise". What? That one's at least more recent!

And so concludes...heh..."Twilight Time"

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Pedophile innuendo ruined this episode for me, but luckily I can separate that from the quality of this episode. Um...yeah, my opinion is pretty much the same as it was three years ago. It's...an okay episode. It's another one of those episodes that is sort of by-the-books in terms of plot, character development, pacing, moral, and all that. Especially for a CMC episode, mind you, this one's pretty run of the mill. I mean, there were some points in the episode that legitimately threw me for a loop, such as how many times Twilight was willing to dodge anger at the CMC, even when it almost didn't make sense. But then there's how Sweetie Belle was basically pulling all the strings this time around without it completely being a Sweetie Belle episode. There's even bits of good comedy in here, like Spike and the nachos later on during the episode. Even still, there's not a whole lot that exceeded my expectations in the long run, and on the subjective side, I became quickly bored of the storyline halfway through. "Twilight Time" isn't a bad episode, and if I had found some kind of enjoyment in it, it might've scraped an 8/10. As it stands, it'll just have to sit at the rating that most bland or most run-of-the-mill episodes get: 7/10.

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Brazil isn't real.