[STORY TIME]

It was summer, and Sherrie Badger was in the mood for a fine swim on such a hot day.  So, she gathered up her beach stuff and filled her little orange backpack all up with so many fun things.

There was a bottle of sunscreen, two pairs of sunglasses, a thick and fluffy beach towel, a little pail and shovel for the sand, a nifty sunhat with petunias on it, and a nice lunch of grape soda (her favorite!) and a yummy watercress sandwich... with TWO pickles!

Sherrie Badger then began the trek from her humble abode unter the Tum-Tum tree, deep in the Doodleybob Forest, headed toward the fine sand, sun and air of the little beach that every critter in the entire forest knew about.

On her way there, she made occasional stops at her friends' homes, asking them all if they wanted to accompany her on such a fine, sunny day.  Though Dinah Squirrel was organizing her nut collection, and Rocky the Rabbit was digging a new room for his hutch, and Shiny the Toy Robot and Mr. Puff-Puff Mousie were far too busy, Stevie the Stork and Big Joe Toad were MORE than happy to go with their dear friend to have a day of fun and relaxation.

As they traveled, they sang happy little songs and skipped merrily, bringing a light and jovial mood to anyone who would see them passing...

... anyone, that was, except for Mean Myrna Mole.

Myrna Mole had always been grumbly-wumbly, but today she was in QUITE a snit.  Her foul temperment was in high gear, and she had been waiting ALL DAY LONG for someone to yell at - particularly, foolish, fluffheaded animals who thought the entire world was just hunky-dory all the time.

As the trio drew closer, Myrna could hear their singing voices... and knew she simply COULDN'T let them pass her home without a decent tongue-thrashing!  So, as they rounded the bend, Myrna prepared herself for what she knew would be QUITE a fun time for her... even if it would be miserable for everyone else.

When Sherrie Badger came around the bend, Myrna huffed at her.

"Well, now - and what have we here?  Another head stuffed with fluff, I expect.  Don't you have ANY idea of what you could be accomplishing if you weren't so busy being your usual dippy self?  You should be ashamed, acting as though you've not a care in the world... do you not realize that your very existence is nothing more than skittering to and fro, doing NOT A SINGLE THING of import?  From the looks of you, you must be headed to that DROLL little strip of sand the others have the nerve to call a 'beach', aren't you?  LAZY!  SHIFTLESS!  FOOLISH LITTLE MOPPET!"

Sherrie Badger wasn't used to such talk, and her big blue eyes began to water, tears forming as she thought of how silly her idea might actually be...

When Stevie the Stork came around the bend, Myrna huffed at him.

"Oh, look - the silly little stork has come to be a fool, too!  Why in the entire Doodleybob Forest would you be willing to WALK to that miserable swatch of sand?  You have two perfectly good wings; why aren't you busy flying... after all, that's what you're meant for, isn't it?  Yet here you are, ground-bound, thanks to the supposed sense of 'friendship' you claim to share with these other fools!  Don't you realize they're simply JEALOUS of your wings, and they want to keep you on the ground as much as possible, restricting you to the same drudgery as they have to endure down here?"

Stevie the Stork wasn't used to such talk, and the bottom of his beak began to quiver, his throat tightening with tears...

When Big Joe Toad came around the corner, Myrna huffed at him.

"And YOU!"

But Big Joe Toad simply pulled out his chrome .44 caliber pistol and shot the mole right in her motherfucking face.  Five times.

"Ain't SHIT!", said the toad.

The three freinds then went merrily along on their way to the beach, leaving that bitch-ass mole facedown in the dirt, her hoarse and blood-soaked death rattle being the last thing they heard from her as they went on to enjoy their day.

{Da Moral}:

Don't fuck with Big Joe Toad.