[STORY TIME]

It was a chilly evening in the Doodleybob Forest, and a number of critters were just getting ready for bed... but not Mr. Puff-Puff Mousie.  He was getting ready for the slumber party he had been planning all week, and his little whiskers twitched with excitement as he busily prepared for his guests.

There was a lettuce leaf he'd been keeping nice and crisp in the river water, and a stray gumdrop he had rescued from the sidewalk, and a big ol' chunk of oozy, gooey apple dropped from a pie, and a whole thimbleful of cheese cracker crumbs.  All of these were laid out carefully, ready for Mr. Puff-Puff Mousie's guests to arrive.

The first one to arrive at the slumber party was Shiny The Toy Robot, with his oversized gym sock as his sleeping bag.  He had also brought some screws to nibble on - but Mr. Puff-Puff Mousie politely declined, as he couldn't eat metal like Shiny could. 

Next was Dinah Squirrel, and she didn't bring a sleeping bag.  "When I lie down, I cover myself with my big, bushy-wushy tail," she explained.  She had also brought some acorn cookies, which Mr. Puff-Puff Mousie knew she would share with him.

Soon after, Stevie The Stork knocked at the door, with his long and lanky leg.  He had a school backpack with him, and he said it was his favorite sleeping bed, so he just brought it along.  He had also brought along some fresh cherries from Miss Avery's garden, across the way.  They were as big as Mr. Puff-Puff Mousie's whole head!

Last, but not least, Big Joe Toad showed up.  He had brought an old oven mitt, which fit him perfectly and looked funny, as his big ribbity eyes were all that peeked out of it when he put it on!  He hadn't brought any food, but he did bring a big bottle of grape juice.  Even picky ol' Rocky The Rabbit, who usually grumbled about everyone, had to admit - Big Joe Toad always had some mighty fine grape juice.

Once everyone was there, they all settled around and began to tell ghost stories. 

Mr. Puff-Puff Mousie told the tale of the big, black snake that lived near the forest, and the others laughed and huddled in their sleeping stuff. 

Shiny told them a story about a mad scientist, and they squealed in fearful glee. 

Dinah told a story about the ghost under the Cobble Street Bridge, and she made scary sounds and faces to go with them.  

But when Stevie started on his own story about a mysterious knocking at the door, they all jumped and shrieked when there really WAS a knock at the door!

"I-i-is it a gh-gh-gh-gh-ghost?"  Stevie asked as he shivered in fright.

"Is i-i-it a m-m-mad scientist?"  Dinah squeaked from behind her tail, where she was hiding.

"IS IT A BLACK SNAKE?"  Shiny said - he didn't shiver because robots don't shiver when they're scared.

And Mr. Puff-Puff Mousie was absolutely petrified; he couldn't move a single inch, and his little whiskers jittered and shook with fear.

But Big Joe Toad wasn't afraid - not even a little bitty bit!  He got up out of his oven mitt and went right to the door, opening it juuuuuuuuust a peek to see who was outside.

But that was some dumb shit to do.

Into the home of Mr. Puff-Puff barged none other than Mean Myrna Mole and Argyle Fox!  They slammed through the doorway, and both of them grabbed Big Joe Toad by his froggy neck.

"PAYBACK'S A BITCH, MUTHAFUCKA!" yelled Argyle as he slammed his steel crowbar across the top of Joe's head, smashing his left eye into a pulp.  Myrna was busily and rapidly shanking Joe's right side with a long, sharp shard of glass.

The other critters screamed as they watched bloody vengeance being served in the most fucked up way possible - by ambushing a toad at a slumber party.  Myrna howled with laughter as she twisted the glass shard in his side, and Argyle began to curbstomp his amphibious ass.

Stevie The Stork collapsed into a heap in the corner, pissing himself thoroughly.  Dinah Squirrel began slowly yanking out the fur in her tail as she watched, and kept muttering gibberish as she watched the carnage unfurl.  Shiny simply shut down - but it would take years of corrective programming to fix his roboty soul.

And Mr. Puff-Puff Mousie just screamed and screamed and screamed.

{Da Moral}:

Ain't shit.