Where to start...

What you may not know is I cannot wait to get away from my family. I look forward to going to the community college to start my classes so I don't have to deal with them.

My older brother said I was the one being rude to the others, and they all blame my "extensive" time on the Internet. [sarcasm] Yet I love how they can do what they want on the Internet for hours while I can't, and how my older brother can be rude to the others (it feels like it's pointed mostly at me) after extensive time on the Internet and after talking to his girlfriend a lot, and he can basically get away with it.

I feel unappreciated in my family. I feel like everything I do, everything I say, is being monitored. I try to say something funny; it fails. My siblings do something else 'funny,' everyone laughs. I try to get help for a chore, and I get in trouble. My younger brother does the same, and all of a sudden, it's fine. I make a suggestion, I get shot down. Someone else suggests something similar, it's approved. Something happens, a few people are pissed, and thirty seconds to three minutes later, while I'm still chewing on what happened, everyone is fine and acting like it never happened.

The only things keeping me from telling my parents this are the fact that they might take away a lot from me if I bring this up, or I might get kicked out, and I have no place to go. I haven't been trained for hard times, which slightly pisses me off.

And after everyone is fine again, I start thinking it is me and I'm mentally challenged somehow, like I need psychological help. Maybe I do...

The point is this: I can be easily triggered into bad moods, yet no one sees this. No one in my family, that is. And then they make decisions that just piss me off more. I can't stand it. I look forward to getting away from them.

I feel lucky to at least have you guys. Some people who, I know I don't know them in person, appreciate what I do. Who comfort me when I feel like I'm falling apart. Who love me despite my faults. Who help in times of need...

I'm done. I'm off my soap box.