Rings, Proposals, and Double Standards
[This is a Life Advice vent I wrote couple of years ago. I wanted to save it in my blog for easier access.]
Hi, I'm Justin Case. You may remember me from such vents as "Can Men Be Beautiful?". Today, I want to talk about another double standard that really irritates me.
I'm so sick of the continued double standard than men must always do the asking, the proposing, the buying of rings, etc. Often times, women still tend to wait to be asked out and proposed to, and if nothing happens, they assume the guy isn't interested, or isn't serious. Is this the year 1300?! Why don't we guys just go up to the girl's father and buy her for two goats and sack of corn meal?! Why can't we erase these antiquated double standards and gender role stereotypes? I often read this advice column in the paper, and the other day there was one of these stereotypical letters:
(Paraphrasing) "I'm a thirty year old woman. I've been with my guy for X years, and I want to get married, but he hasn't proposed or given me a ring yet. What do I do? I guess he's not serious about us. Maybe it's time for me to move on."
Why. Don't. You. F*CKING. ASK. HIM??!!
This kind of thing gets me really riled up. Sorry. And I'm not suggesting that it should be the other way around, either. Why can't it just be 50/50? Whoever wants to ask, just ask.
And don't get me started on the engagement ring thing. Why can't a woman buy an engagement ring for a man? Or, why not skip the rings if you don't want to do it? It's not a requirement, but people treat it like it is. Society paints this picture of men having to win women over with a grand gesture, work hard to woo them, buy an expensive gift for them, and if we're really lucky, she'll say yes. Why can't a woman propose to a man? I know, I know--it's because woman are beautiful, and men are undesirable australopithacines, a fact society loves to pound into me every day. So sick of the double standards.
- 4
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