There are some things that I really just can't wrap my head around. Math, specifically. I hate Math. I have a Math-learning disability (I'm being serious, it's been proven by my doctor). 

Maybe that's why, and I'm not sure... maybe that disability is why I've been so down on myself lately. I keep referring to myself as being "stupid" or "a failure." It started out as  a joke, but lately I do believe what I've been saying. I really do feel like a failure, that I'm not smart enough for the world. That I'm too dumb to bee in college. It makes me feel like crying as I'm writing this. My friends have been trying to get me to stop saying things like this, but I can't change the way I feel about myself so quickly. 

It's a problem that I can't fix on my own. 

Oh, and don't worry, I'm not planning to kill myself or anything. 

I just want this hate to get out of me. I want to look in the mirror and be proud of who I am, of how smart I have become. I like the way I look, I really do, but I feel so stupid. 

I really don't know what to do anymore.