I was having some weird feelings, coupled with some philosophical issues a while back, and I wrote this. I know that it may be confusing, but it is how I felt. I don't know if I've lost these thoughts or just supressed them, but I don't feel this way much anymore.

"Nothing"

I'm still in my youth,

Yet I'm older than dust.

Here is the truth:

I'm neither "me" nor "us."

You see, I have grown

Oh so sick and alone.

I've ventured into darkness,

And I've made it my home.

And somewhere along the way

My soul's gone astray

Now, here is the message thatI have come to convey:

My life has been dimmed

And the dream here has died;

I'm living on Earth,

Yet I'm not alive.

Everything in the world that used to mean something

Has been shown to me now,

And revealed to be nothing.

Oh, I'm not depressed, though that's what it seems

For all of this nothing also includes me.

Now I know you're confused, but please don't get irate.

Perhaps to my feelings, none can ever relate.

Within loss I've gained peace;

A solemn black dove

But peace can mean nothing

Without hope and love.

Oh, I know,

I could try to escape,

But it seems this dark fate

Is within me, innate.

My mind is not yours;

A blessing, a curse,

And as time goes on

My thoughts do grow worse.

My soul screams out, not joining others

And as much as I try, no man is my brother.

So it seems that I'm here,

Stuck in this void

Until I breathe my last breath,

And my black heart is destroyed.

So I'll just sit around, killing my time

And enjoy empty pleasures up here on cloud nine.

For now, I just want to fade into sleep

Oh, a sleep so deep and also so sweet…