I still feel bad even after the dog moved away. After i was tortured by my own mother for years, i just hate her.

That means i still feel bad where i live currently, i still dont have a life but can go to work for no Money, only for a Little Tiny bit of hope, that i might get a job afterwards.

What is the Point of Keeping me alive if im not allowed to live? My whole life is just " wait your life away, until your so old that you will start to decline in Health anyway".

Why? Why would anybody want to have Kids in a world like this? What is the Point of Living if you cant live? What is the Point in not commiting suicide? My life is garbage. I want to go out, have a life, keeping care of a home, go outside, meet People, find a girlfriend, go normally to work and just being happy, but im not allowed to, so...

It s a joke, a Nightmare. Nowadays it s not a Question of whether you want to go to work or not, it s a Question of if someone lets you.

I start to get the feel that i understand why some People just run Amok...this life...this whole Concept...why?

What did i do? Why cant i live? I dont get it. If i wouldnt be such a Coward, i would commit suicide.

I guess i post the next update whenever someting changes, which will be never.

Sorry that i wrote this, but i have to do something this endless waiting is horrible.