Episode 59 - Ice Skates in Commercials
Okay, this one's kinda stupid, but I wanna get it off my chest anyway.
Y'know what really grinds my gears? When you see people ice skating in a commercial (usually a pharmaceutical commercial where happy people are showing how happy they are to get their fibromyalgia and crohn's disease under control), and the woman is always wearing figure skates, and the man is always wearing hockey skates. Yup. That's how it's gotta be. No other choice, because as we all know, if figure skates so much as touch a man, he will instantly turn gay. That's how it works. Pffft. F*ckin' bullsh*t.
I know, right? What a weird thing to get bent out of shape about. Well, see, the thing is, I'm a figure skater. And male, obviously. I also used to work in an ice rink, passing out rental skates, and we offered hockey and figure. I would always ask which type the customer wanted, and a lot of guys would act like idiots when I asked. They'd look at me like I was from outer space, laugh, or even get downright offended or insulted at being asked if they wanted figure. Some young guys even made extremely rude comments, like, "what the f*ck, dude? I'm not f*ckin' gay!" Seriously. I had people say that. And it wasn't just teenagers, either. I had adult men in their 30s and 40s look at me sideways, like I was asking them if they wanted high heels and a dress.
Yeah, so news flash: men's figure skating exists, and not all of them are gay. Many are married to women and have kids. In fact, most are hetero. Sure, there's a higher density of homosexuality within the male figure skating community then in, say, football, but it's not the majority. And even if it was, so what?
But that's not the end of it. There's the other side, too. I don't mean to suggest that there's anything wrong with hockey, and to that end, why can't the woman ever wear hockey skates? It so happens that hockey skates are generally more comfortable and functional for the casual skater who isn't doing tricks (jumps, spins, etc). Hockey skates would be ideal for many girls and women who just want to cruise around and have fun. In fact, I knew a female employee at the rink who did just that. She wasn't a hockey player at all. Just a recreational skater who liked to cruise around and have fun, and she had hockey skates. And she was actually pretty dainty and feminine, too, not that that should matter. My point is, why can't the commercials ever mix things up and do it the other way around? Both types of skates are suitable for both sexes and all people. I just get so sick of this kinda bullsh*t, y'know?
- 3
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