Once upon a pawn, there were three people named 'Tiny', but only two of them didn't matter to this story, so that's the last you'll hear of them.

At any rate, Tiny had a little mansion in the headwinds of the foothills, and he spent his days there pretending to be a rich foreign oil baron, but not a RED one, 'cause then they send Snoopy in to kill you.  Still, Tiny made a living skimming women in linen into cinnamon incense within 'em - and let me tell you, it wasn't easy; he had to live up to a number of standards, and nobody had even told him a number yet!  Why, the guy - no lie - would sigh and sigh, my oh my, and wondered 'why should I not just die?'

But that's where the story starts getting weird.

See, the overlord of Galaxy X-19 was on their way with an entire fleet of street feet, sweet on beat and overly-discreet, yet elite and neat - though prone to overheat.  Tiny was going to be their first, second, third AND Home Plate contact, as they miscalculated the angle of approach to his property within the measure of space-time... aaaaaaand ended up in his homemade swimming pool filled with grape Kool-Aid; strangely, not a one of them felt Aid-ed at all, once the smoke cleared, the overlord was wanting to deal with Tiny directly, and possibly disintegrate him... but only if he was a rude ass.

Tiny, it turned out, charmed the overlord and actually managed to arrange a strange arrangement, mang - the overlord would leave Earf alone, in exchange for Tiny's eternal love and undying loyalty.  Tiny swore it, then after his mama washed his mouth out for swearing, he gave his utmost loyalty and complete affection to the invading overlord.

It had nothing to do with the overlord just happening to look like a beautiful, busty woman with four arms and with the strength of two yaks, plus nine thousand.  Okay, very little to do with it.  At least, that's what Tiny swears, and he says he's sticking to it.

So now that the evil weevil of Skreevil was toast, they could begin with the part where they ride off into the sunset in their 1971 Cadillac El Dorado convertible with no top (or steering columnmnmnmn), at which point they burned to little crispy charcoal because they foolishly rode directly INTO the sunset, and it set their little bitty hearts ablaze...

With pain.  Searing, flesh-melting pain.

Don't you just love a good dramatic romance?