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The first part of my first (and quite horrible) fanfic

Champion RD92

Entry posted by Champion RD92

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I decided to try to write a fanfic for the very first time. This is the first part of it. Just to warn you, it's absolutely terrible, and the concept is very unoriginal. But that's what happens when you are extremely unimaginative.

 

Basically, the story is about my OC named Ice Beam, and he has a crush on Rainbow Dash, blah blah blah

 

So without further ado, I present to you the first part of my fanfic. (Don't worry, it's gonna get a lot more interesting later on).

 

 

 

 

A Winter’s Night

 

It was a cold winter’s night. Ice Beam sat near the fire, a delicious cup of hot chocolate in his hoof. Ice Beam was a young stallion of about the age of twenty. He had light blue eyes, a light blue coat and a blue mane. He stared out the window, taking in the beautiful sight of Ponyville at midnight. He was a new citizen of the small town, but he had quickly fallen in love with the community; one pony in particular…

 

Her name was Rainbow Dash. She was one of the most awesome, amazing mares in all of Equestria. The Grand Galloping Gala was approaching, and Ice knew he couldn't pass up the opportunity to take the mare of his dreams. Ice had received a ticket to the Gala from his good friend Twilight Sparkle, who was apparently very close to the princess. Ice Beam wanted so badly to go with Rainbow Dash; he just had to figure out how to ask her…

 

As morning drew near, Ice Beam woke up, groggy from lack of sleep that night. He couldn’t get Dashie off his mind.

 

“Dammit, Dashie, why can’t you be here with me…” he thought, caressing his pillow, as if imagining it was Dashie next to him.

 

He had to make his fantasy a reality…and the Gala was his chance. It was a bit of a chilly day that day, as was common during the wintertime. Ice Beam put on his sweater and scarf and headed outside. He decided to head to Sugarcube Corner, where many of the ponies spent their time. Ice was deep in thought about Dashie, when suddenly a pink blob smashed into him, nearly knocking him to the ground.

 

“Omigosh, I’m so super duper sorry!”

 

Ice Beam glanced up to see a pink, bubbly mare above him.

 

“Oh, hey Pinkie Pie…” said Ice Beam, getting up from the ground. “Where are you off to in such a hurry?”

 

“Oh, Rainbow Dash is about to race Applejack again over near Sweet Apple Acres!” shouted Pinkie Pie, excitedly. “You should totally come watch too!”

 

“Dashie?...” said Ice Beam to himself. He started to get excited and nervous at the mere mention of Rainbow Dash’s name. He realized this was his chance to ask Dash to the gala.

 

(To be continued...)

 

 

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Clarity

I bet Rainbow Dash wins >:L

 

But of course. You shouldn't do something as unimaginative as an OC x Mane 6 shipping, but if you nail it good, it may even receive good feedback. After all, it's how you write the story.

 

Again, however, most of those stories are not received well however well the author writes them.

 

And AJ vs RD race is overused...just adding a tip ^-^

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Champion RD92

I bet Rainbow Dash wins >:L

 

But of course. You shouldn't do something as unimaginative as an OC x Mane 6 shipping, but if you nail it good, it may even receive good feedback. After all, it's how you write the story.

 

Again, however, most of those stories are not received well however well the author writes them.

 

And AJ vs RD race is overused...just adding a tip ^-^

 

Well it's my first fanfic, so hopefully people cut me some slack :P

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duidamasterXD

I think it might feel more natural to show how Ice Beam came to Ponyville, how he met the mane six, and how he started falling for Dash. This if anything feels like you're jumping into the middle of a story. I like the idea of him working up the guts to ask her to the Gala and it sounds promising, but it might be better with some buildup. Just my opinion though.

 

Congrats on working up the guts to put something on paper, I still haven't managed to do that yet :). Happy writing!

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Champion RD92

I think it might feel more natural to show how Ice Beam came to Ponyville, how he met the mane six, and how he started falling for Dash. This if anything feels like you're jumping into the middle of a story. I like the idea of him working up the guts to ask her to the Gala and it sounds promising, but it might be better with some buildup. Just my opinion though.

 

Congrats on working up the guts to put something on paper, I still haven't managed to do that yet :). Happy writing!

 

Maybe the next part can be a flashback :0

 

And it can show how he came to Ponyville maybe.

 

Or maybe that can be a prequel or something...

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duidamasterXD

Maybe the next part can be a flashback :0

 

And it can show how he came to Ponyville maybe.

 

Or maybe that can be a prequel or something...

Sure, whatever you feel like doing.

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