Hello, weary traveler. What's that? You're tired of your packages arriving smashed and destroyed? Yes, I do believe I can help with that. Sit down by the fire and grab a drink, and I'll tell you what I know.

Tip 1 - Fragile Packages

I'll be blunt; package handlers don't give a shit about fragile labels. We can't baby every adult vibrator that gets shipped across the country. It gets thrown, it gets dropped, and it will likely be hit to get it to fit snugly on the truck. I've rammed my shoulder into many a package that were sticking out from the wall too far. However, there are a few things we tend to handle more carefully, such as glass and liquids. We're not gonna toss those around, so slap a few of those stickers on your package (one on every side for best chances of survival). The more tech-savvy package handlers will also treat electronics with more care. You can bet your ass if I come across a GTX 3080 box, I'll treat it like a newborn kitten.

There's also the less conventional methods. If a box says "Grandma's Ashes," most people will probably be careful with it. I once shipped a saxophone with "Urine Samples" written on every side in big red letters.

Tip 2 - Large Boxes

If you're shipping something large, it's imperative that you package it properly. Anything more than a couple cubic feet in volume should have double corrugated walls - anything above four should have triple walls (just my suggestion. You can certainly get away with thinner, but why risk it?). As well as this, don't leave a bunch of empty space, and don't use an abundance of soft packaging materials (i.e. packing peanuts). Use a dense foam, something like styrofoam or dedicated shipping foam, and pack that box full of the stuff. The more rigid the box, the better. If you wouldn't feel comfortable sitting on it, don't ship it. Large packages usually get put on the bottom of the truck, and heavy packages always get put on the bottom. Packages on the bottom are under a lot of stress from the other boxes on top of them. Flimsy boxes with lots of dead space on the inside, plus a lot of weight sitting on top for many hours or even days... Your package is going to arrive looking like a pancake. Hopefully you paid extra for insurance.

Tip 3 - Heavy Packages

Put a heavy label on every side of your package if it's over fifteen pounds. Also do this if it's a tiny box that weighs way more than you think it should just by looking at it (i.e. you're shipping a box 5 inches in each dimension and its full of nuts and bolts). This helps both you and the shipping company. If we see the heavy sticker (bonus points if the weight is written on the sticker), we can better prepare for lifting it, and in turn load the trucks quicker and not throw out our backs. That won't make it arrive sooner, but it means we get to get off from work sooner. It also means we're less likely to drop your package, so it's not entirely a waste of time for you.