Like I said, I went through depression that changed me as a person in the last month. But how much have I changed? What do I think about life nowadays?

First, and on topic since the debate pit is gone: I don't want to push my lifestyle on anyone.

Many times I have found myself thinking that I am perfect, that my way to see things is sacred, that the things I do and I don't should be copied by everyone.

But it's not that way, Im just another human being who became what it is thanks to everything that has happened to him. The things I like and don't are just that, my own likes and dislikes. They can't be better than anyone else's. Imagine me saying that the green colour is better and telling everyone who doesn't think so to screw themselves. Pretty dumb eh?

And although some may disagree, I want to apply this to everyone. With everyone I mean homophobics, flat eartheners, nazis, etc. What they think is wrong in my opinion, but I can't change the way they see things, they have the right to think whatever they want to think. I won't waste energy trying to tell them otherwise.

And don't get me wrong. If they make harm I have to act, we can't just sit and watch how nazis take over the world. What I mean is that I won't push my mind into anyone unless it affects me.

Second, what is my lifestyle? What is it that I won't push on anyone?

Basically love. Love for your family and friends, love for your enemies. And ultimately, love for myself.

Love for family and friends, doesn't need much explanation, we see it here every day. 

Love for your enemies. We're are all human and I believe that as human we can't be anyone but ourselves. I can't be anyone but Bastian for example.

So I can't blame people for doing mean things, that's who they are. (again, if I get hit I will hit back) The target of this "love" is more about not hating people. If anything, I will feel sad for them. 

The thief was raised to be a thief, if not, he was raised to be a thief under certain conditions. I can't blame him if he steals my home completely. I don't want to kill them or make them suffer for what they do. I only wish they didn't have to do any of that.

To summarize, I won't hate anyone and will always forgive. Suffering isn't fixed with more suffering.

Third, self esteem: I had self esteem, but too much of it. Precisely the excess of self esteem is what made me think that my opinions were golden, what made me hate people and what made me try to push my mindset into others in the debate pit.

How to fix it? Precisely love. If I have love for everyone then every other feeling is replaced. That way I will emanate the same feeling and hopefully make the world around me a better place.

So to summarize it all. My life is a battle against excess of self esteem or ego, love being my weapon to fight it. I don't want to be better than anyone, I don't want to be a god or anything sacred. I just want to be me, to live my life, wherever it may lead to.