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Kyoshi Reviews: Elden Ring

Kyoshi Frost Wolf

Entry posted by Kyoshi Frost Wolf in Reviews

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"If a game isn't fun, why bother?" 

That is a quote I didn't think about too much when Reggie first said. After playing Elden Ring, I understand the true meaning behind those words. Elden Ring is, simply put, one of the most unfun, infuriating, not worth it gaming experiences I've ever had and I gave it my all, I gave it the best I could give it. Being someone who is a huge fan of the Souls franchise, I was eager to see the next evolution of what FS is capable of. Instead I got the great gameplay of Dark Souls, if nothing else that makes it good or, most importantly, fun. 

Elden Ring is essentially Dark Souls 4 in all but the name. The gameplay is lifted straight from DS3 with elements of Bloodborne and Sekiro sprinkled in. Only now, the world is massive. Sounds like a winner, but it doesn't matter if nothing in this world means anything. Oh sure, the world is gigantic, but it is as interesting as a cheese wheel. There's no interesting NPC's to find, there's no towns or areas that feel alive like a real world with purpose. Instead, it is the same type of setting as a Souls game with none of the well crafted design that makes it all feel contained in a proper manner. In Elden Ring, it feels like if you took the world of The Witcher 3 and stripped it of all character, all purpose and all the fun. In Elden Ring you ride your horse from one area of the map, to another area of the map, encountering nothing worthwhile along the way. Occassionally you will find a catacombs or ruins that looks identical to the all of the ruins or catacombs that came before it. You can explore to your hearts content, only to find very little worth exploring for. 

It doesn't help that this "freedom" to go anywhere, unlike the finely tuned worlds from before, you can just go to areas way beyond your level early on. Encountering tons upon tons of enemies not worth fighting in any way whatsoever. Then you realize that is most of the game. Unless you are vastly more powerful, most enemies, especially much more difficult ones, are never worth fighting unless for combat sake. They offer so little rewards that you might as well avoid them, which I often found myself doing because it all got so boring. 

Same can be said for the numerous boss fights. The bosses in this game fall into one of only two categories: Laughably easy or infuriatingly difficult. Pick your poison because there's almost nothing in between. So many bosses either require no effort to kill and so many others are so overbloated with bullshit that it simply isn't fun. Many of the later bosses especially are maddening. They have so many long strings of attacks and usually two hits or even one hit will be enough to murder you. All of your leveling and armor, made futile. In the old games, you could legit be a tank if you wanted to, with armor and leveling. This game doesn't give a shit about what you choose. You either play with friends or go insane playing alone, smashing your head against a wall until you finally, barely defeat a boss for rewards that are never worth it. I almost never felt truly accomplished. Never felt like I did anything incredible. It was just the same old shit, over and over and over again. I've seen this song and dance before, numerous times. From Software has used this formula before in past games but they did it far better then and instead of improving on it or trying something completely new, they take steps backwards and expect the giant, boring world to make up for it. 

I was watching a video recently of the Artorias boss fight from Dark Souls 1, the DLC of it. That is my favorite boss in the history of games and after playing 50 hours of Elden Ring and watching that video again, I can say that without a doubt, nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in Elden Ring comes even slightly close to the perfection of Artorias and his boss battle. Elden Ring and its bosses are an absolute joke in comparison. Artorias has the perfect balance, he is not over the top, he is not overly punishing but he will mess you up if you are careless. You need to be methodical, patient. In Elden Ring? Fuck that noise. Everything here is about reactionary, endless dodging or blocking to not die in two hits while desperately trying to lower the bosses massive health bare. Then the boss will unleash a cheap insta kill move halfway through because fuck you. 

This is all in a game that has a friggin 97 on Metacritic, a score that it absolutely does not deserve. Any game with a boss like Radahn should never have a score that high, Radahn being one of the worst boss fights I've ever seen. At least he is entirely unique I suppose and not copy and pasted like so many other bosses. Everyone hated that in Dark Souls 2 but it is conveniently ignored here, because of course.

This "review" is more like a rant than anything because I just uninstalled the game. I had enough of it and I've especially had enough of the brain dead tribalism that so many people have. If you dare criticize this game, you get crucified for daring to not have the opinion of the masses. That's all this culture is now, pathetic tribalism over nothing. Over something that isn't even fun. Remember: If it isn't fun, why bother?

My score: 3/10

It has the great combat basis, but almost nothing else from the Souls series that made them so compelling. It is a waste of effort, a constant barrage of bullshit for so little rewards. Playing a game solely for its difficulty isn't my idea of a good time or a good game. 

Edited by Kyoshi

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Justin_Case001

Hmm.  Interesting.  One of my best friends, who is also a Souls fan (I think DS1 is his all-time favorite game), just put 50 hours on Elden Ring in a week and spent a good deal of time yesterday raving to me about what a masterpiece it is.  Funny how different people's experience of something can be.  Whatever boats your float and all that.  I can't offer an opinion as I've never played any variety of Souls game, or anything like one (although I want to at some point.  Probably just DS1 to start with.)  Anyway, I will say that your review... er... rant, was extremely refreshing to read since everyone has just been gushing about and worshiping this game.

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Kyoshi Frost Wolf
2 hours ago, Justin_Case001 said:

Hmm.  Interesting.  One of my best friends, who is also a Souls fan (I think DS1 is his all-time favorite game), just put 50 hours on Elden Ring in a week and spent a good deal of time yesterday raving to me about what a masterpiece it is.  Funny how different people's experience of something can be.  Whatever boats your float and all that.  I can't offer an opinion as I've never played any variety of Souls game, or anything like one (although I want to at some point.  Probably just DS1 to start with.)  Anyway, I will say that your review... er... rant, was extremely refreshing to read since everyone has just been gushing about and worshiping this game.

The endless worship of this game is something I will never understand. People are treating it as if it revolutionizes video games in their entirety and I have no idea where the hell they are getting this from. The Metascore of 97 reflects the same thing. When I see a 97, I think of something that is utterly mindblowing, something that is legendary. Seeing that score made me so excited to play it and I was excited for a while, that is until is started to see the constant copy and pasting of assets and bosses and the designs problems. Theres more I could have easily put in the review. 

I'll give an example: The main plot revolves around the Erdtree. Throughout the map, there are smaller Erdtrees called Minor Erdtrees that you can encounter. All of these have an optional boss protecting them. Most of those bosses are a thing called an Erdtree Avatar. Each Avatar is almost 100% identical to the others, with the only difference being their element of attacks (Bleed for one, holy for another, etc.). In some cases, they are literally identical to a previous avatar, with the only different being that they now take way more hits and can kill you in a single hit. Regardless of your level or armor. A dinky optional sub boss essentially with the power of a final boss because reasons. No joke, one version of an Avatar required me to fight him absolutely perfectly with zero mistakes or be killed, despite being identical to a previous version who was more reasonable. The best part? Not only are the Avatars constantly copy and pasted from each other, they are literally copy and pasted versions of a boss directly from Dark Souls 1, in everything but appearance. They are just the Asylum Demon from DS1. Their moveset is identical and their body and weapon share the same archetype. So the avatars are copy and pasted throughout the game, after already being copy and pasted from Dark Souls 1 in the first place.

This, to me, screams laziness and not a 97 average score. Especially when you see so many other bosses copy and pasted throughout the game, only some have minor differences. In several cases, the only difference is then they are in an infuriating two on one fight which some are nearly impossible without summoning and good luck doing that because summoning randoms barely seems to function. That's not making it harder through well crafted fights, it is just adding an extra annoyance to harass you the whole time. Dark Souls 1 features two different 2vs1 boss fights and both are done infinitely better than any of them in this game because again they felt crafted for the concept. Nothing in this game does. It is just "Hey, remember that boss you fought before? Now fight an exact replica of them only now there's another boss helping them who is also an exact replica of someone you fought before."

I distinctly remember people hating the over abundance of copy and paste bosses in Dark Souls 2, especially humanoid ones. Strangely, that same criticism is nowhere to be found for Elden Ring. How convenient.

Above all else it is the sheer asinine culture we live in now that bothers me. The tribalism to defend a game like this with one's dying breath, crucifying another who dares not lavish it with endless praise for all eternity. You point out anything I have said here and you likely will be met with "NO, FUCK YOU, YOU JUST SUCK AT THE GAME YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT, GIT GUD OR FUCK OFF TO ONE OF YOUR PUSSY GAMES YOU PANSY BITCH". Of course it isn't this from absolutely everyone, but it happens a lot more than it should. It is either that or some more calmly dismisses your opinion entirely. Either way, if you aren't stroking Elden Ring like it has cured cancer, then you are wrong. What a wonderful culture we have now. As if I need more reminders that not a single goddamn thing that I say or do matters in the slightest. 

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Justin_Case001

Yeah.  I don't understand why people have to get so bent out of shape about a differing opinion over what ultimately amounts to trivial entertainment.  It's just a game, after all--something we do for fun.  People act like criticism of a thing they like amounts to criticism of them as human being.  Everyone needs to take a chill pill.

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Celli

For me it's a really good open world game. It's not your copy and paste ubisoft crap. you're encouraged to explore on your own, and find things, and if a boss is giving you trouble, leave and go to another area to get more powerful, and come back later. There aren't a dozen towers and camps to liberate or clear out for meaningless rewards, you do find good stuff, weapons and ashes of war or armor. They also said there wouldn't be towns with NPCs before the game came out, so I'm not sure what you were expecting there. It's fine to not like it but don't act like everyone who does are mindless drones. Yes there are elitist pricks but they're few and far between from what I've seen.

I'm having fun and that matters to me. It's the best open world I've played.

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Kyoshi Frost Wolf
On 2022-03-12 at 8:14 PM, Celli said:

For me it's a really good open world game. It's not your copy and paste ubisoft crap. you're encouraged to explore on your own, and find things, and if a boss is giving you trouble, leave and go to another area to get more powerful, and come back later. There aren't a dozen towers and camps to liberate or clear out for meaningless rewards, you do find good stuff, weapons and ashes of war or armor. They also said there wouldn't be towns with NPCs before the game came out, so I'm not sure what you were expecting there. It's fine to not like it but don't act like everyone who does are mindless drones. Yes there are elitist pricks but they're few and far between from what I've seen.

I'm having fun and that matters to me. It's the best open world I've played.

I've been seeing this a lot and I agree slightly but mostly disagree. Yes, Ubisoft tends to trot out the same open world concept over and over again and it certainly became boring in Assassin's Creed, for example. However, I personally do not think that makes Elden Ring's open world "good". Whereas Assassin's Creed is over bloated with things and icons and busy work, Elden Ring goes to the opposite extreme. The world is massive and let's you go anywhere, but that doesn't make it interesting. It is mostly bland to me, it doesn't feel like a living, breathing world, regardless of how much they spam wildlife everywhere. Instead of feeling like a dynamic open world where all sorts of things can happen, it feels like a bunch of Dark Souls zones stretched as far as they can go. To me, the possibility of dynamic gameplay and situations is what makes an open world good. The only dynamic part of Ring is simply you can go anywhere, only to see the same design mindset from the Souls series, only now in a big, empty plain. 

Back to Ubisoft for a second, while I do agree their games mostly are bland, Far Cry 5 is an example of a great open world to me. It is filled to the brim with things that can happen, creating all sorts of unique experiences. Sure, it has the usual Ubisoft towers and all that, but the open world itself is so neat that it is the one time going to those towers feels fun. You can encounter many things along the way and the view you get is great, plus you are usually rewarded. The world itself is dynamic enough that doing the usual Ubisoft loop doesn't feel tiring. Not to mention there's numerous activities to do for money among other things. This same philosophy applies to games like Skyrim and GTA V. They have worlds with the possibility for unique encounters and happenings all over the place, not to mention they actually feel like a real world. Elden Ring simply does not. That's bad enough on it's own in such a massive world, but Elden Ring goes a step further against itself with so much that is copy and pasted throughout. The bosses (There are only 9 unique bosses in the game, out of 80+), the merchants who are mostly all the same (who the hell thought that was a good idea?) And landscapes that again, feel more like zones than dynamic areas of the world itself. Once the initial excitement of the huge world wore off, it all became hollow to me since I knew there wasn't much worth exploring for anymore. 

Despite my criticisms and my vastly differing opinion, I am glad you are enjoying it, truly. I wish I  could. I beat the game and started a new character to give it a fresh start and while I enjoyed it at first, I was quickly reminded why I hate the game as much as I do. Which sucks because at bare minimum, Elden Ring doesnt have the greedy bullshit that most other games now indulge in. 

Not that my opinion even matters. Clearly, it doesn't since everyone and their dog are worshipping this game like it is the 15th return of Mega Jesus. My words are that of a useless ant, as per usual. Nothing new there. 

Also, check out this video sometime by the DeModracy. He explains so well why the bosses aren't great. That's only one issue I have out of many, bit it is a big one. 

 

Edited by Kyoshi
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