That being said, the complete and total lack of sobriety since around September has brought me to my knees.

Forgive the extreme sporadicness and honestly crude sentence structure and lack of verbosity. This is just a "I'm back and I've been hurting" update, and I'm still not all clear in the head.

My entire pony collection was sold for money, and I had to take a leave of absence from school. First five seasons, all the equestria girls movies, the 8-book collection including Princess Celestia and the Summer of Royal Waves, all mane-six cheap plushies and a Symbiote Fluttershy plushie, two video games based on G5, and various figurines. All gone along with basically my entire collection of other things such as Breaking Bad, Buffy, and over $1000 of Zelda games.

There is a silver-lining.

I am as close to being sober as I can be and I've almost quit (only THC 3-4 times a week, just can't cold turkey after also kicking alcohol and other crap), I've bought my way back into returning to law school this fall, I'm gainfully employed, AND

My pony collection is now bigger than it was. Both the show and rebuilding that collection have grounded me and reconnected me with who I am. I went through a rouuuggghhhh patch. I was still seeing-ish a woman I should not have been with. I was constantly drinking, smoking, cross-faded 2/3 of the day. I lived on my own, and I told myself I couldn't be who I was anymore. I became (and still am) skin-and-bone, but now that I've went through this horror, I've come out knowing myself better. Turns out, and I'm not surprised, I'm high-functioning autistic, and the majority of my mental issues come from this after I finally broke down and vocalized struggles I had which I did not know how to articulate. I have everything from my collection besides some cheapo plushies I don't care to buy again (the company put wings on Rarity. I forgot Rarity was an alicorn, apparently, lol). I also have season 7, and season 6 and EQ Magical Movie Night are on their way to me. 

My Little Pony is SOOO special and its helped me explore myself as well as the Hellaverse, which I'm also obsessed with. I just wanted to post an update since I don't think I've visited this site since January, I think?

So, I don't know when, how often, etc, but I'm returning to the forums, and it feels very good to be back in Equestria, because no joke, from September to around February, my life was Klugetown.

It feels so good to reconnect with who I am and this show, which has actually become one of my favorite "things." When people ask me my favorite show, I always begin, "Well, My Little Pony, but that's just one of my all time favorite "things," and I'll say Breaking Bad, Owl House, Gravity Falls...and last and most certainly not least...Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel, which, if they maintain their current quality or better through the end, will also become one of my favorite "things" (It already is, right now, lol).

It's so good to be back. I love you all. 

I will become 100% sober (about 20% soberer than I am now), and I could use all the encouragement, love, and support available. Thank you for your time.