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Sooner or Later


Maxos

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blog-0438570001359613223.pngI have been walking the streets of my imagination and I've come realize something that has been hindering me deeply.

 

This is going to be walking through my mind, heart and soul to find the answers I need as I write. So there's no point for Grammer Nazi for there will be mistakes, both in literature and plot.

 

There is this burning desire running through me. I normally handle such emotion. Being as I am, I can block out feelings so I may continue with life. But I can't stop this desire to be loved by someone. Its an empty void that needs someone to care for me. I have more people than I can handle who I uplift every day. But I can tell you this, I have not one person who cares for me. Though I have many friends, none of them truly connect with me. I need them to be my friend with my interests in mind. But It has to be them and their problems. Though I do answer their call for help. There comes a time were one needs someone to uplift them instead. I feel like I am drained of my energy, leaning on this broken table of creations. I have nothing to fight for, nothing to live for, nothing to die for. I came into the Brony fandom feeling this way and for a time it faded away. But now it has returned with a fierce vengeance. Isn't there someone out there that has any care with in their own heart to spare me?

 

I walk in this house of friendships. Finding myself used all the same, with no friendships indeed.

 

Sooner or Later one has to give up. Please just don't get involved. This is a blog post, therefor is my heart and soul. Writing about me may be displayed for you to see. But you don't throw yourself into my life with out the true intention of actually being my friend believing ya can fill this void of mine. I know for a fact now, I can only be alone and that's my true character now. Solitude is apart of me as much as the sun is apart of the stars. I don't Blame other people for my life's problems anymore. I'm just sorry I wasn't somebody worth your time or interest.

 

- Maxos

  • Brohoof 6

5 Comments


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No.

 

Dont give up... please...

I have high doubts that I can fill any void for you. I wont try. And im not going to try to get into your life. But you are not the only one who feels this way. I recently jad a similar breakdown. I had been holding back a tide of emotions far too long. But you cant give up. That is one thing we must never give up on. The virtue of love. The world is hard enough when we do have a certain someone there to provide comfort, and is even harder without. But love, or whatever you are looking for is out there. I cant make you do anything... i cant fully know what you are feeling, or what you are going through.... i just have to ask you to have some hope still that you can have genuine happiness one day. Know that you can find a reason... a reason for everything. I also know that it will be hard. I dont want to see more people hurt... there is far too much hurt in life. Two days ago, I also poured my entire heart into a blog post.... i was realizing so much... feeling so hurt...

http://mlpforums.com/blog/33/entry-2883-breakdown/ I dont have a reason eitjer. I go through each day still without someone to really comfort me. If you wish to talk... i would very much like that... I ask you read my post too... you atent alone here. And its not just me.

  • Brohoof 2
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no dont give up you got a lot to do and a lot to give keep at it i am sure you will be better/liked/awesome i dont know but i hate people giving up so karry on and become successful

  • Brohoof 1
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My friend, I know this may be hard to believe, but I know how you feel. I've been there before. Heck, I'm still like this. A long, long time ago, after being alone, unloved, and rejected by everyone, I came to accept my unhappiness and loneliness. I identified with it. I allowed myself to be overcome by it, and I came to wear my loneliness almost like a badge of honor for all to see. I drowned in my sorrow, unable to see any other option in life. I have lived like this for so long, slowly slipping away into misery and madness, telling myself that I am better off this way; that at the very least, I can live to help others if I can't be happy myself. Yet now, I am starting to realize that living with such a mindset is no way to live at all, and, though you may not know it, I think you have had the same revelation simply because you have reached out to others through this very blog post. I cannot tell you how to improve your life because I have not solved these problems for myself yet, however I know that with time you can find what you are looking for in life. I would offer my friendship, but unfortunately, I do not have Skype or anything, and this makes online friendships very difficult for me. Still, if you ever want to talk, feel free to pm me. I wish you the very best of luck.

  • Brohoof 2
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This is a blog post that was written in real time with out proper goal other then finding out as I went along. I should clarify, by me "Giving up" I am by no means suggesting self harm. But rather having a friendship at all. 

 

Though I may feel like exactly what 

 

 

 

 

 Said. My realization is I can't up hold or up lift anyone anymore. The giving has out weighted the receiving.
 
- Maxos
  • Brohoof 1
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