I mean, I knew before today that I was awkward as hell. But geez, it really hit me after this afternoon.

We have this game store in town -- Video Game Wizards, if you care about names. VGW has their main store set up in Portland, the biggest town in Oregon. They built their second of two stores in my little backwater hick town. Still have no idea why.

My pal and I stopped in VGW's hick store on Monday to solicit them for donations for our senior project. While in there, I noticed two things:

1: Super Smash Bros. for the N64 was only $40.

2: The assistant behind the counter was REALLY cute.

Honestly, I was on the fence regarding which of those two things was most interesting to me at the time. (Oh, I totally bought SSB, by the way.)

(Before I continue, I wanted to at least touch on this. Normally I'm attracted to "preppy" or "nerdy" girls. This assistant was a scene/emo girl, though that mostly translated to a bit of eye shadow and semi-dyed hair. Hardly scene, really, but you could tell who her friends were from her looks. Yeah, my town falls into cliques really easily.)

The owner said that she is holding a meeting this Thursday to discuss the upcoming Retro Gaming Expo in Portland, which VGW helps to put on. She said that volunteers would be appreciated. Naturally, my buddy and I expressed our interest. And so passed Monday.

It was Tuesday when I realized that we had no idea when the meeting was. I tried stopping in the store again by myself, but neither the owner or her cute assistant were working.

And then came today.

I wasn't actually planning on stopping in today at all -- frankly, I had forgotten about the Expo already. But I was stood up for a movie date (with my best pal), so I figured that while I was in town I might as well stop by.

The owner wasn't working there. But the cute girl was. My body decided to put all of my skill points into Awkward right then.

I said a quick "hello" on the way in. I forgot why I entered the store at all because WOW she was cute. So I decided to stall for time. I immediately began browsing the XBOX games.

I don't own an XBOX.

I maneuvered my way over to the N64 games.

Which I had just picked through on Monday.

I saddled on over to the wall of old PC games.

Only true nerds browse that part of the store.

And this whole time the assistant girl alternates between doing her job and casting glances in my direction. Finally, I remembered why I came. But the little flyers for the Expo (which was going to be my "Oh hey, now that you mention it" conversation started) were right by the cashier, and a couple people were in line trying to haggle game prices. So I went to the other side of the counter where the Gameboy and Nintendo DS games were displayed and began peeking at those.

I guess I was looking a little too long, as the cute girl leaned over the counter and informed me that if I needed anything, she would have to unlock the display case. So now she thought I was an idiot, too. Nice.

I told her that I was just browsing, and she resumed ignoring me. Finally I ducked around the line of people, awkwardly grabbed a few of the Expo flyers, and resumed my stance at the display case.

So now I had no conversation starter. And then I realized that the cute assistant girl was fairly new and probably wouldn't even know when the meeting was, which would just be more awkward.

FINALLY my body listened to my panicking brain and high-tailed it out of there. After leaving, I looked at my watch: I had spent a good 45 minutes in there, not saying anything to anyone, instead looking at the same three spots in the store over and over while trying to look interested.

And I still don't know when the meeting is. I'll probably stop by tomorrow morning.

Maybe the cute assistant will be working there.

- Kolth