I am happy. I thank God for my happiness everyday. I am happy, but I still wish I was deceased. Preferably now. Knowing that my brother's cancer is gone, and my friend Dan is alive and well. If I died now, I would not care. Only reason I still live is because of my friends. All actions have their consequences. My depression, and my immense regret and the pain I feel is not enough. I feel like something worse will come to me later in my life for the things I did.