Well I am happy in my life. Last time I was this happy was eight years ago. I am married, I am doing good, I have a home, I have money for food and entertainment, I am living a life most people do not live. I am happy, I am.
But, I also have this short temper. I so easily angered, and I get so angry. People anger me so much. Never my brother or my spouse though. I never angry at them, but other people are making me pissed off. To the point at which I am either becoming depressed, or wrathful
I not talking about the Shakespeare play "The Winter's Tale" (I sure none of you thought about that though..) I talking about the 1983 Novel by Mark Helprin, and soon to be motion picture this month. I never read the book or even heard of it until my Даниил handed me his copy of the novel. I read it just a few days ago, and I just have to say it was an excellent, touching love story. It was beautiful in my opinion, and I was happy to hear about the movie coming out this month. I know movies some
Loving, caring people are a rare breed to come across. No one is perfect, and we all have our flaws but I know who my true friends are. A select few. I only need six people in my life. I can only trust these six people in my life. I am extremely cynical otherwise. Most people are motivated by self-interest. They are selfish. People you think are your friends can turn around on you in an instant.
How many times do I need to experience this? Apparently some higher power, or the luck of coincid
Yet again, this time comes. Yet again, I am faced with struggling through this month. The last time I saw my wife alive was seven years ago today. December fourteenth. Ten days before we were going to get married. This day, this day seven years ago changed me forever. Losing my soulmate, who I built my life around destroyed me. Having no one to comfort me. Everyone abandoned me, her parents blamed me. I blamed myself.
Weeks and weeks of crying. Then hate. Intense hate. I hated myself, I hate
Enjoy a holiday related song or whatever.
Not that anyone cares. Kindness is a fickle subject for human beings. Is why I hate people. Why do I need more than one person caring about me anyway? I have family, and I have a partner. No such thing as good friends really. Fuck other people. So, enjoy this beautiful, materialistic holiday with family! I sure I will not have a good time.
Much love, Dimitri.
Woke up from a nightmare, and tripped getting out of bed. What a great start.....so....
Another year gone by. So much happened between last year and this year. Good things, bad things. Another addition to my age. Twenty-seven years old. Pretty much seven years of borrowed time now. Borrowed time, you ask? (Though I doubt anyone asked that...) yes, borrowed time. My stupid, depressed self, still believes I should have died in 2006 on December 14th. A part of me still wishes I died then. Wo
Well, after my birthday....which is tomorrow ;-; ....I am going into the wild to camp for preferably two weeks on the stampede trail. Same place where Chris McCandless passed away. I just want to do it. See if I can live by myself for that long in a rugged environment. It means a lot to me emotionally. It will help with many things in my own mind.
Then on my Christmas, which is in January, I will say adieu to you all on these forums. I am departing the Internet, just because I can. I have g
"Where were you when I was lonesome
Locked away in this freezing cold
Someone flying, only stolen,
I can't tell, this night's so old,
I don't want to swim the ocean,
I don't want to fight the tide,
I don't want to swim forever,
When it's cold I'd like to die.
What was that, my sweet sweet nothing
I can't hear you through the fog
If I holler let me go
If I falter let me know
I don't want to swim the ocean,
I don't want to fight the tide,
I don't want to swim forever,
When
http://youtu.be/Z0PMq4XGtZ4
"Act! While in delirium,
I no longer know what I say,
or what I do!
And yet it's necessary... make an effort!
Bah! Are you not a man?
You are a clown!
Put on your costume and powder your face.
The people pay to be here, and they want to laugh.
And if Harlequin shall steal your Columbina,
laugh, clown, so the crowd will cheer!
Turn your distress and tears into jest,
your pain and sobbing into a funny face – Ah!
Laugh, clown,
at your broken love!
Finally, a non-depressing, non-self-loathing rant about myself....
I was just thinking of costume ideas for Dimitri. Preferably something to match with Fluttershy even. I not know though. I have some ideas, but I not suoer creative
So, I not know. Tell me if you thinking of something please :3
I not drawn Dimitri in long time, and same with Fluttershy, and I would adore to draw them both again. Both wearing Nightmare Night costumes
So, tell me if you like a certain costume idea
The human mind is such a complex thing. Emotions, personality, memories, actions. Why? Why are we like this? Why do we possess this? We would be much more orderly and lasting if we possessed the mind of an insect with a hive-mentality, but no. We are human beings, with complicated ways of understanding, feeling, and so on.
What am I getting at? I am just rambling. I ramble often like a mad-man. Mainly to myself too. I think too much, I over-think everything. I go into everything with a too
I am not a saint. I not even consider myself a decent person really. I did a lot of idiotic things in the past. Especially after my wife passed away, but also before that sometimes. Mainly...my temper did it. Put me in bad places.
Crime was fun to me. Though, I will say I regret it all. I horridly regret it now, but at the time I was enthralled in it. I lived the life, I did so many things. Followed blindly. Stole, and hurt, and laundered and more and more. God, sometimes I miss it. Am I mes
