Did I write about sarcasm? I can't remember. If I did, I've gotta delete this. If you can confirm that I haven't written about sarcasm, please tell me so I can delete<<<this.

I'm so confused. So. Very. Confused.

I don't get sarcasm anymore. I mean, I get sarcasm. I know what sarcasm is. It's not like I don't know what sarcasm is. And I can do sarcasm. This ketchup is great! See? You know that's sarcasm. I can do sarcasm. No doubt about that. But when someone else is sarcastic, I lose grip on it. I just can't detect it.

Tell me a sarcastic joke and klablamo, I think you're being serious.

You're going to kill yourself? When's that gonna happen? Another thing is that I can't respond properly, but that's another thing.

I just can't get it. It's beyond me. And what's even worse is that it's gone into real life. I can't detect sarcasm in real life anymore. And sometimes I fake it. Yes, I fake. But still, I know I'm faking. But recently, I didn't fake.

I didn't fake. I know, it's embarrassing, but I need to tell someone.

I actually thought my friend hated me. Which may have been my insecurities playing on me but I don't think it is.

I mean, my friend said that they were going to get this god awful pizza from the canteen, and I was frankly shocked. And then my mates that my friend wasn't serious. And I said he definitely was serious. They say he wasn't. Then I tell them he forgot to inflect, and then they tell me they were being very sarcastic. I refused to believe them, so I asked another person, uninvested (is that a word?) in this heated discussion. And they agreed with my friends. Now, I had to agree. This was an unbiased person. I could not not agree. I mean, what's the point in asking an outside party is you're going to disagree with them the moment they disagree with you? And then I asked them if they're sarcastic. I asked them that at least 4 times. They all kept on saying no. Either way, I've lost the power to detect sarcasm.

You know how big a problem this is going to be? Half the time my generation speak sarcastically, half the time they don't. What am I supposed to do? Flip a coin? I mean, what if I ask a friend if there's a test tomorrow and they reply, "Yeah...there's a test". I have to ask "Is there?". I really don't know if they're being sarcastic or not. Then I'd get into this cycle of if he's (it has to be a he, since no girl friends) being sarcastic and it'll never stop.

You know, things were going too well for me. I knew it. I didn't have a girlfriend. I didn't spend any money. I had no job. Everything was going smoothly. Everything was going according to the plan. In fact, I'm living with my mother. That's how good life is. I aspired to live with my mother from my birth, and so far, it's being going well. I've had a few rough weeks sometimes, yes. Sometimes I had to live (if you can call it that) by myself. But I've been dependent on her my whole life. You can see how amazing my life was, yes? Life was going swimmingly.

Then I had to lose my sarcasm.

How will anyone understand me? How will I understand them? So, on this very important issue, which my whole teenagehood (I'm just making them up now) depends on, does anyone have some serious and non sarcastic advice I could use?