Yesterday I was serving God (or so the Boy Scout oath tells us) by selling over-priced popcorn to people outside of the local Lowe's store. Yeah, I'm a boy scout, and yeah, I've sold popcorn before. But this time was different. America, meet your money-grabbing guarantee: Bacon Ranch Popcorn!

Yes, you read that correctly. As I was forced to loot my fellow countrymen in exchange for 'gourmet' popcorn, I decided to read up on some of the products we were actually selling. My eyes were immediately drawn to the most outlandish popcorn flavor yet to inhabit my sales paper, Bacon Ranch.

I know what you're thinking, "I came here to argue with you! When are you going to get to the capitalism part?!"

Well look at this. 6 oz. of this horrendously nauseating popcorn costs $30.

That's 5 bucks an ounce! Last time I checked, poison didn't cost that much.

What's more depressing is that the Boy Scouts, an organization that supposedly is meant to help other people at all times, is grabbing all the cash they can in competition with Girl Scout cookies. Well sir, you say cookies are better than popcorn? WELL DO THEY HAVE BACON RANCH COOKIES??? I DIDN'T THINK SO!

The money from this doesn't even go to my troop. Over 70% goes to support "The Northeast GA Council" AKA, a group of old white guys who spend their days planning on how to further exploit the loose wallets of the people who they were supposed to be protecting.

I dunno, maybe I'm just raging here. But $30 for a few kernels? Really BSA?