I've got a bone to pick with the way romantic relations are handled. At least in the U.S. (can't really speak for elsewhere)

Alright, first off, ladies, i'm equal opportunity kind of person, but it goes both ways. If I go out of my way every month or so to get you a big surprise goodie bag of chocolates and flowers, or maybe see you struggling with finals or work and show up with ice cream, I mean well, and I certainly don't demand anything in return, but that being said, it would be nice. I'm really sick of being expected to do all the doting. Men like surprises too, and believe it or not, we'll probably cherish them if you send us flowers.

Don't think surprise sex narrows that gap, because while sex is nice, it brings me to my next can of worms.

SEX is OVERRATED! Yes, men like sex, but so does everyone and their grandmother. Men are not fundamentally hornier than women, and in fact are quite often much more easily sexually exhausted. Quite often a man might actually not be in the mood, and guess what, he probably still likes you and thinks you're beautiful.

I've had my lady friend start crying on me because she thought she couldn't satisfy me sexually. That was not fun for me! it was incredibly distressing and awkward.

Speaking of distressing and awkward, I'd like to address texting. Texting has ruined relations. My god, I've never hated my phone more.

Sure it's all fine and dandy for planning dates, sending sweet nothings, and general chit chat. But then, I leave my phone in my car accedentally overnight, only to find it next morning with an increasingly distressed string of texts. Sometimes you can practically see the 5 stages of grief color through the texts, which range from angry, guilt trippy lashing to what amounts to the text version of begging sobs.

Has anyone reading this heard of the "complex question" logical fallacy? Even if you haven't, i'm sure you've heard it. It's when someone asks you a question with no good answer. Where no matter what you say, you're in the wrong. Everyone is probably guilty of this at some point in their lives, but it's just plain mean in relationships. Even when i'm mad at my partner I don't toss that garbage on them.

My last little pet peeve....probably wont bother some people at all, but it drives me up a wall. I put a lot of value in the words "I love you" If I've said this to you, you're either in my family, my dog, or I genuinely believe that I'm in love with you. If I have said I love you once, even once, I mean it. So when my partner asks something like "How come you never say I love you?" When...I have said I love you, I just said it three days ago, I about blow a fuse. Love is not a word I pop with the regularity of the letter E. I like to say it when there's a passionate moment, or when I feel it's really going to add something. Saying I love you every single day, after every meeting, and at every greeting belittles the value of the word in my eyes. It makes it feel less special, and quite honestly I never use that word when I'm single, so here i'm going from never ever saying it to trying to say it several times every day. Of course i'm not going to remember to say it at every second, it's not natural and I don't like it.

Anywhoo....thats it for that rant. Thanks for reading if you cared to.