I enjoy a little coffee in the morning. It helps me to get out of that rising zombie state into a fully aware zombie ready for a full day of apocalypse normally functioning person ready to tackle the day. I don't drink much coffee, though. Generally, a shower also does a pretty good job of getting me up, but it doesn't have the lasting power of coffee for me. But if I'm not feeling up to speed after my morning shower, a hot cup of black coffee will do the trick. But only one cup of coffee because any more will make me sweatier and shakier than a prostitute in church (yeah I know that's pretty tasteless...go ahead, throw rocks at me)

Well a few years ago, my family went to Las Vegas for a Christmas vacation. We were going through a bunch of malls because I was 17 and my brother was 15 so we couldn't gamble [On a side note, there were plenty of times where our parents went to play a few hands of Blackjack while we just roamed the Vegas Strip and checked out malls by ourselves]. Gambling age is 21 in Vegas. Well, one day when we were there, we were at one of the restaurants in one of the malls. I can't remember its name but they had some pretty good hamburgers. They also had a machine there that was dispensing hot caffeinated beverages free of charge. I decided I could use a cup of coffee...

So I get over there and grab a medium size cup. I think it was about 12 oz / 350 mL. I put it under the spout and hit the button. It dispensed a tiny bit of coffee. I couldn't run on that! So I assumed the coffee machine was malfunctioning and hit the button like 10 more times. At least until the cup was full. I got back to the table and started enjoying my cup of hot coffee. My dad also loves coffee and he thought it smelled pretty good so he went and got some too. By the time he got back, I was done with mine. I asked him if it was giving him trouble too. He said, "Nope." So I told him, "That's funny because the coffee machine was hardly giving me any coffee so I hit the button like 8 or 10 more times. I thought it was broken." My dad looks at my empty cup. Then he looks back at me.

"8 or 10 times? That wasn't coffee...That was espresso."

All three - my mom, dad and brother dropped whatever they were doing. They slowly cocked their heads at me and looked at me for a few seconds with this panicked look in their eyes, as if they all wanted to scream at the same time, "Oh shit!!!"

I have ADHD

Everyone knew it was a matter of time until I would be more hyper than a dozen small children in the world's biggest bouncy castle!