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Orablanco Account

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  1. Orablanco Account
    I know I said the same thing about Rarity, but Dash is in very close second for me, and I don't think that one thread did her full justice.
     
    So...
     
    1. Ashleigh Ball is a fantastic voice actress. It's easy to overdo the whole tomboy thing, but she's able to balance all that arrogance and pride with insecurity and humanity, or whatever the equivalent would be for ponies.
     
    2. She has had the most character development out of all the Mane Six, even more so than the one who grew new limbs.
     
    3. She's usually the best part of even the worst episodes.
     
    4. She embodies her element better than any other.
     
    5. Rainbows rock.
     
    6. She has a clearly conveyed goal that she's working towards over the course of the series. You want to see her become a Wonderbolt and to live her dreams, and thankfully, the show is actually allowing development on that front.
     
    7. Incredibly cute. The mane, the voice cracks, the fangirl personality.
     
    8. She's just so freakin' badass. She can clear skies in ten seconds flat, has a black belt in karate, and is making the laws of physics her punk on a daily basis.
     
    9. FlutterDash is Best Friendship.
     
    10. There's ton of potential regarding her character development. She still has to learn how to become a good influence for Scootaloo's sake, she still has to become a Wonderbolt, she's always undergoing some surprising change in personality or thinking, and she still has to finish that Mary Sue novel.
     
    11. Much like Rarity, Dash's character is a great blend of likable, admirable qualities and rough edges and sometimes negative attributes. She's stubborn, not always thoughtful of other people's feelings, greatly self-assured of her own coolness, and her fear of being seen as weak or emotional can be all absorbing. But she's also courageous, loyal to a fault, and though it's rare, she can be deeply affectionate.
     
    12. She inspires the best fan music.
     

     

     
    GO RAINBOW, GO RAINBOW, GO!!!
  3. Orablanco Account
    Now you may be asking yourself what The Terminator is doing as an entry in my incredibly sporadic horror movie trivia onslaught. You see, I make the argument that The Terminator is very much a slasher flick, very much like other 80s movies about a near-indestructible engine of destruction going on a rampage and racking up an impressive body count until one lone survivor, a lady, is left alone to fight it. The only difference is that instead of knifes and stabbing weapons, there are guns. Lots and lots of guns.
     
    That, and it's the movie's 30th anniversary today, and it's one of my favorite movies, and I'm in charge here, so we're doing The Terminator. If you don't like it...
     

     
    - The movie is based on a nightmare director James Cameron had in which a metal torso is crawling away from a fire with a fistful of kitchen knifes. He used this as the basis of a stylish slasher story, which he thought up to be in the same vein as John Carpenter's Halloween. See, I told you.
     
    Cameron's agent thought his idea for the film wasn't worth pursuing. Cameron fired his agent.
     
    - James Cameron was married to producer Gale Anne Hurd at the time. He sold her the rights to his story for $1.
     
    - The original story involved two terminators getting sent back, one a cyborg and one a liquid metal shape-shifter. James Cameron realized that special effects at the time wouldn't come close to what he envisioned for the latter, so the idea of the two terminators was held off for any potential sequel.
     
    - OJ Simpson was considered for the role of the Terminator, but James Cameron couldn't see him as a killer. Instead, he wanted actor Lance Henriksen to portray the Terminator, based on the fact that he looked normal, and the Terminator should blend in with a crowd like an infiltrator should.
     
    Arnold Schwarzenegger became involved when Orion Pictures wanted him for the role of Kyle Reese. James Cameron absolutely hated the idea, so he schemed to distance Arnold from the project by picking a fight with him during their meeting. But they got along swimmingly, and Cameron was entertained by Arnold's ideas on how the Terminator should be portrayed. After seeing what Arnold's face looked like when he stood still and emotionless, Cameron was convinced the guy would make "a hell of a terminator," regardless of the fact that Arnold is probably the last guy who could blend into a crowd.
     
    - Because of Arnold Schwarzenegger's casting, production had to wait while he shot Conan the Destroyer. In the meantime, James Cameron wrote Rambo: First Blood Part 2 and the best frigging movie ever made.
     
    - The Terminator was brought to life by the late great Stan Winston. He would go on to help design and give life to the xenomorphs in Aliens, the Predator, Edward Scissorhands's hands, all the physical effects for the T-1000, the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, the Iron Man suits, and many more of the your favorite special effects from the past thirty years or so.
     
    - Sarah Connor is suppose to be 19 here.
     
    - The producers wanted Kyle Reese to have a robot dog, and at one point it was suggested that the Terminator drink some alcohol and act silly like E.T.
     
    - The laser sight on the Terminator's pistol required an external power source, so a battery was rigged up in Arnold Schwarzenegger's sleeve.
     
    - Linda Hamilton spent most of the production with a sprained ankle.
     
    - The movie originally ended with the tanker exploding, but James Cameron found this to not be hardcore enough. It was also written into the script that the Terminator gains a limp right before his skin gets burned off so it'd be easier to animate the endoskelton and make it look like it had the same range of motion as before it got toasted.
     

     
    - Arnold Schwarzenegger trained with firearms for three months before shooting began, to the point that he was almost robotic in his movements. It paid off: the use of guns in this movie earned praise for being far more realistic than other action movies at the time.
     
    - The Terminator glowing eye piece that Arnold Schwarzenegger had to wear later in the movie burned him whenever it was on.
     
    - The set was tense most of the time. Arnold Schwarzenegger was not enjoying himself, almost every action scene took place at night, leading to a very to-the-minute production, and James Cameron was easily irritated by people who came to him with ideas he didn't like.
     
    - Total body count of 28.
     
    - The car chases were filmed at normal speed and sped up in post.
     
    - Oh hai Bill Paxon.
     

     
    - Brad Fidel's musical score was made to sound like the heartbeat of a mechanical man.
     
    - The teaser trailer is narrated by Peter Cullen, aka Optimus Prime.
     
    - Writer Harlan Ellison swore this movie was a rip off of an Outer Limits episode he wrote and proceeded to squeze some money from Orion Pictures, while James Cameron proceeded to call him, and I quote, "a parasite who can kiss [Cameron's] ass."
     
    - If you haven't gathered by now, there is a very real chance you will be murdered by James Cameron.
     
    -There's a reason Kyle Reese starts making pipe bombs out of nowhere. A deleted scene has Sarah Connor and Reese decide to destroy Cyberdyne Systems before it can unleash Skynet on the world, another idea held off for a potential sequel.
     
    But what are the odds of that happening?!
     
    - The Terminator is the only film character to appear both the American Film Institute's Top 50 Villains list and their Top 50 Heroes list.
     
    - Arnold Schwarzenegger wanted the line changed to "I will be back" because it was easier for him to say in his accent. James Cameron refused, and, well, y'know...
     
    http://youtu.be/-YEG9DgRHhA
     
    Happy 30th Anniversary, The Terminator.
     
    http://youtu.be/5C6GZQ7UNaU
  4. Orablanco Account
    Y'know, for a horror movie where the monster could easily be defeated if you kicked him hard enough across the room, the original Child's Play ain't half bad. Not a masterpiece by any standards, but it's good fun.
     

     
    Take a seat, Annabelle.
    - Originally named "Batteries Not Included", but changed when it was found out Steven Spielberg was producing a movie with the same name.
     
    - Child's Play was originally meant to be a satire of marketing aimed at children before it became a horror flick. In the story's original form, Chucky was named Buddy and was not possessed by a psychopath's soul, and was instead a projection of Andy's frustration and loneliness and went after Andy's "enemies," such as his teachers and babysitter.
     
    So it's like E.T., but better.
     
    - Chucky's real name, Charles Lee Ray, is a reference to serial killers Charles Manson, Lee Harvey Oswald, and James Earl Ray.
     
    - Chucky was designed by Kevin Yagher, who also designed the Crypt Keeper tweaked Freddy Kruger for Freddy's Revenge and more or less solidified the classic look of that character.
     
    - Brad Dourif, the voice of Chucky, ran around the recording studio before every take to give the performance a frantic edge. This resulted in him nearly passing on one or two occasions.
     
    - The original film caused quite a stir when it was released, with protesters at MGM Studios claiming it would incite violence in children. United Artists ended up disowning the movie when it was in talks to be bought out by a studio unwilling to make horror movies, and the sequel rights went to Universal.
     
    - A copy of Child's Play 2 sits on Jerry's shelf on Seinfeld.
     
    - Peter Jackson was asked to direct Child's Play 3.
     
    - At some point, Chucky loses his right hand in each of the first three movies.
     

     
    - The opening scene in Bride of Chucky features cameos from Jason Vorhees's and Michael Myers's masks, Freddy Krueger's glove, Leatherface's chainsaw, the Puppetmaster's puppets, and the crate from Creepshow.
     
    - The doll sex scene in Bride was improvised. How could you not love that movie?
     
    - Because Seed of Chucky was so outside of the type of movie Focus Features usually released, they creaked Rouge Pictures just to release this movie.
     
    The last movie they released was Movie 43. Guess that explains where they went.
     
    - Glen/Genda is voiced by Billy Boyd aka Freaking Pippin the hobbit. That's not a fun fact or anything, I just think that's really funny.
     
    - If you ever get the chance, check out the latest movie, Curse of Chucky. It's surprisingly good, best one since the first.
     

     
    Oh god no.
  5. Orablanco Account
    This one is exceedingly overdue, but today we come to the modern masterpiece from the Mexican maestro's mind, Pan's Labyrinth. I was actually questioning whether this film could be counted as a horror film or if it was just fantasy of the darker variety.
     

     
    Never mind.
     
    - Guillermo del Toro keeps a large collection of notes and sketches that he uses to generate ideas and stories for his films. The notes on Pan's Labyrinth were once lost in the backseat of a British cab. Del Toro was afraid he lost them forever, but the cab driver sought him out just to return the notes. Del Toro took this as a sign that this movie had to be made; he turned down working on The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and gave up his salary to make sure it happened. But when offered Hollywood backing, del Toro refused, not wanting his vision to be compromised.
     
    - Intended as an informal sequel to The Devil's Backbone. Originally about a pregnant woman that falls in love with a faun.
     
    - The faun in question isn't actually the Pan of Greek mythology, who is known for his sexual escapades and is wholly inappropriate to feature opposite a little girl. That's just the American title; everywhere else in the world, the film is called The Labyrinth of the Faun.
     
    - The actor under the Faun and Pale Man makeup is Doug Jones, who you may not recognize as Billy the Zombie from Hocus Pocus, Abe Sapien from the Hellboy movies, and the leader of the Gentlemen from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. A native of Indianapolis, Jones was the only person on set who did not speak Spanish and had to learn the language for the role of the Faun. He was later dubbed over, but Jone's efforts made it so the lip-synch was near perfect.
     

     
    - An actor was almost killed when a horse fell on top of him.
     
    - Ofelia was meant to be played by a younger actress, but Ivana Baquero impressed del Toro enough that he slightly rewrote the part to fit the casting. Del Toro sent comic books to Baquero to read so she could get in the right head space.
     
    - The Pale Man's saggy skin was inspired by del Toro's recent weight loss.
     
    - The captain's quarters were designed to look like the inside of his watch.
     
    - There was originally to be a sequence in which Ofelia tells a fairy tale involving a dragon, which of course would had been visualized, but it had to be cut due to budgetary reasons.
     
    - The English subtitles were written by del Toro himself, who was not satisfied with the translations of his previous works.
     
    - Doug Jones reportedly kept condoms full of fake blood in his mouth for the bit where the Pale Man has a snack.
     
    - The Faun's horns weighed ten pounds and were tiring to wear after awhile.
     
    - Movie theaters had to put up a warning after people kept taking their kids to see the movie about the little girl who escapes the horrors of fascism and war only to find a monster that tries to eat her alive and a pissy faun.
     
    - Stephen King attended a private screening, during which del Toro notice him squirm in his seat during the Pale Man sequence.
     
    - Received a 22 minute standing ovation at the Cannes Film Festival.
     
    - Hug?
     

     
    Hug.
  6. Orablanco Account
    Out of all the slasher movie franchises, this one is probably my favorite, for a multitude of reasons, namely because Freddy is awesome.
     

     

    - Director Wes Craven based the story off a variety of things that disturbed him. The central premise of the movie is based off an account he read of teenagers who were afraid to go to sleep and died of mysterious causes a few minutes after they dozed off. The image of a fedora-sporting lunatic was taken from a childhood experience in which a homeless man peered into Craven's bedroom window and seeming took amusement out of scaring him. The name "Krueger" came from a bully who terrorized him in school.
     
    - The texture of Freddy's skin was taken from a cheese pizza. The makeup team actually had a folder of burn victim photos for reference, but they didn't really like looking through it. The final makeup took 3 hours to apply.
     
    - Johnny Depp's debut role as the hilariously-doomed Glen happened by pure chance. He was simply accompanying a friend on his audition for the role, but the filmmakers decided to give him the part instead. The weird part is that the friend who didn't get the job, Jackie Earl Haley, played Freddy in the 2010 remake (aka, the only good thing in that entire turd of a movie).
     
    - Krueger's ability to change forms, and the detail that anything he changed into would share the same colors as his sweater, was lifted right from Plastic Man. In fact, the sweater was meant to be red yellow before Wes Craven read that red green are the two most contrasting colors to the human retina.
     
    - The setting is never referred to as Elm Street once in the first film. Its use in the title was simply meant to give the impression that this was all happening on a quiet, normal street. Just. Like. Yours. Of course, the sequels went crazy with Elm Street and made up all those stupid rules about how Krueger can't do anything outside of Springwood or something.
     
    - Robert Englund based Krueger's mannerisms on Klaus Kinski's performance in the 1979 remake of Nosferatu. As for the voice, I'll let him explain that:
     

     
    - The knifes on the glove are real. According to Englund, anybody who has ever tried it on has probably cut themselves by accident, like he did the first time he wore it. The sound they make when scrapped on the boiler room pipes were made with steak knifes on a steel chair.
     

     
    - The station Glen listens to right before he bites it is KRGR.
     
    - Krueger's stretchy-arms were simply puppet arms attached to strings controlled by crew members sitting over the alleyway.
     
    - The blood geyser was accomplished via a room built to revolve 360 degrees, with the torrent of blood poured through a hole on the top while the footage was shot upside down. Most of the 500 gallons of blood used in the film was used during this scene.
     

     
    The room was used again for Tina's death, when she is dragged up the wall and slashed up on the ceiling. The little moment where Tina reaches for Rod, who's in the foreground of the shot, was not composited (or two shots put together); actor Jsu Garcia was upside down, with his hair patted down, while the footage was shot to look right way up.
     
    - Heather Langenkamp found herself stalked by some dude in real life thanks to her role in the movie.
     
    - Apparently, this was the first movie to use a breakaway mirror.
     

     
    - The face in the wall effect was simply a latex stretched over a hole in the wall that a crew member stuck their face against. It looks awesome. The remake did it with CGI and it looks like cartoonish ass.
     
    - The ending was meant to be a happy triumph, with Nancy's friends revealed to still be alive, implying the whole movie was just a bad dream. Of course, the producers wanted an ending that left the door open for more sequels.
     
    - Filmed in 30 days on a budget of 1.8 million. Ultimately, it proved to be a huge success for the film's fledgling production company, New Line Cinema, that helped get it off the ground. Thus, New Line is often referred to as "the house that Freddy built".
     
    So no Freddy, no Jackson Lord of the Rings. Go figure.
     
    - Robert Englund almost didn't play Krueger in the sequels before producer Robert Shaye realized how horrible a mistake it was to hire an extra for less money in Freddy's Revenge. Englund was brought back a few weeks after that movie started production.
     
    - Robert Englund plays all the characters and disguises Kruger poses as, unless it's important it be otherwise.
     
    - Freddy's Revenge was written by the screenwriter to subtly be the gayest horror movie ever. The director was completely unaware of this.
     
    - Several characters in Dream Warriors wear Dokken shirts. Dokken wrote music for the film.
     
    - The Freddy snake was originally a pinkish hue, but green goop was added at the last minute to make it look less...phallic. Because if it's one thing the makers of these films don't want you to feel, its uncomfortable.
     
    - The Dream Master is the highest grossing movie of the franchise (not counting Freddy vs. Jason), as well as the highest grossing slasher movie of the 1980's.
     
    - Conversely, The Dream Child is the lowest grossing of the franchise. That movie had to be edited down because the original cut was thought to be too disturbing and was Rated X.
     
    - Alice is the only protagonist in the franchise to have fought Krueger twice and survive.
     
    - Peter Jackson, back when he was till making horror movies, wrote a treatment for a possible sequel in the franchise titled The Dream Lover. In sort of a meta joke at the expense of the series, the beginning of the film showed that the children and teenagers of Springwood were no longer afraid of Freddy because of how ridiculous he had become and had actually made a game out of purposely falling asleep, trolling him, and taking a piece of his sweater to prove they did it.
     
    - Wes Craven has said he cannot follow the story in the sequels at all. Neither can I, man.
     
    - This song is great.
     

     
    OK, time to end this nightmare.
     

     
    Kung fu this, bitch!
     
    Man, Freddy calls everyone a bitch way too much. Somebody needs to count how many times he says it.
  7. Orablanco Account
    That's right, today I'm taking on a whole franchise.
     

     
    I've got nothing better do with my life, except literally anything else.
     
    - The most profitable slasher series of all time. The original alone made $40 million on its budget of $500,000.
     
    - Onscreen body count: 199. The movie with the most murders is Jason X at 23, a number that's even higher if you count the 20,000 people on board that exploding space station.
     
    - The sound isn't "chi-chi-chi cha-cha-cha". It's "ki-ki-ki ma-ma-ma", as in "Kill her, Mommy".
     
    - It's no secret most of the actors who have worked on this series don't view it in the best light. Some called their respective movies "c-list", and Betsy Palmer (Pamela Voorhees) hated the original.
     
    - Over 10 actors have played Jason over the years. Kane Hodder (who also played Lord Zedd on Power Rangers) was the stuntman who played him the most, in a total of four separate films.
     
    - Tom Savini, makeup artist on the first film, based Jason's disfigured visage on a mentally challenged man he knew from his childhood.
     
    - It was Savini who thought up the Carrie-style jump scare at the end of the movie. He would check out the last five minutes of screenings just to see people's reactions, which probably made the three months needed to reshoot and reshoot it.
     
    - The original was filmed at Camp No-Be-Bo-Sco in Blairstown, New Jersey, which still functions as a boy scout camp.
     
    - The original magazine ad for the movie was released before they had even written a script. They just wanted to see if any other movie already had that title.
     
    - The original mask was sculpted out of a Detroit Red Wings goalie mask.
     
    - Crispin Glover's awkward dancing scene in Part IV was originally set to "Back in Black", but they couldn't secure the rights.
     

     
    - Speaking of which, Part IV has the most nudity out of any movie in the franchise...
     
    ...or so I've been told.
     
    - Part VII was meant to crossover the series with Nightmare on Elm Street, but they couldn't get the rights to Freddy, so his role in the script was replaced with a teenage girl with psychic powers. We would have to wait to 2003 for that fight to happen.
     
    - Jason Goes to Hell features a cameo from The Evil Dead's Necrinomicon, along with the demonic dagger thing from the first two movies, implying some sort of connection with that franchise. In fact, the sequel to Freddy vs. Jason was suppose to include Ash in a three-way battle to the death, but Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell decided not to take part when they were informed that Ash would not be allowed to definitively kill the other two.
     
    - That corporate guy who gets killed in the opening to Jason X is David Cronenberg, director of The Fly, The Brood, and Videodrome, which should probably be your indication that you shouldn't be taking anything in that movie seriously...
     

     
    ...if this scene or the robot nipples didn't make that clear already.
     
    - In a majority of the films, there is a storm either approaching Camp Crystal Lake or there's already one going on. The obvious idea we're suppose to be taking from this is that Jason is totally a force of God killing all those horny teenage delinquents.
     
    - The 2009 remake apparently featured too much sex for producer Michael Bay, who walked out on the premiere.
     
    - Not really trivia so much as an obvious fact, but Jason wasn't the killer in the original. It was his mum. Do your homework, kids; your life may depend on it.
     
    - Jason hates all the bands you like.
     

     
    What a fun, if not totally stupid franchise. Let's end this with Jason punching a dude's head off.
     

  8. Orablanco Account
    You know what the problem with Superman is? It's not that he's OP, or a boy scout, or that he isn't as nuanced and "deep" as other superheroes are. That's actually why I love him. In an irony that has become much more obvious as time goes on, the character who is seen as the poster-boy for generic, bland superheroes that popular culture has been trying to get away from is now refreshing in comparison to everyone else. In a world where every superhero has to be complex or "edgy" or whatever the kids are saying nowadays, the idea of a nice guy using what he has to help people is, and has always been, appealing.
     
    Not to say that Clark Kent is easy to write or to "get" as a character. Far from it. But I think people misunderstand why that is. Most would say it's because he's too powerful to be relatable, and that we have to restrict him or add more to make him more relatable.
     
    Superman's problem is that we keep coming at him with this mindset, and that's a terrible mindset to have when writing Superman. Instead, the perfect example of this type of character done right is Captain America: The First Avenger. What makes Steve Rogers such a great hero, much like Clark Kent, is that he's relateable because he's likeable. They're the kind of people we want to be like, and we care about them not because we can see them happening in our world (realism is not an indicator of relatability), but simply because we want them to succeed.
     
    Superman was never about a hero trying to achieve his full potential; it was about a guy who already did and serves as a role model to mankind, both as a hero and as a good person.
     
    While I get the argument that Superman being as powerful as he is may get boring, keep in mind that it isn't as big a problem as many think it is. People only think that because of the movies, where there's just Lex Luthor and he's just catching some boats or something; there's always worthy challengers in his stories. Plus, watching a guy that powerful do his thing is always really fun to watch.
     
    I bring all this up because while I think director Zack Snyder get's that, particularly the whole "this guy can do anything, so let's make this bigger than any other superhero movie can manage" thing, I don't think Christopher Nolan or writer David S. Goyer got it. At all. They briefly touch on the whole "beacon for humanity" thing, and it's kind of interesting seeing how a 21st century Earth would respond to a Kryptonian, but the whole thing is just bogged down with questions about Superman's role as a protector and explanations of the story's mechanisms.
     
    Maybe I've been spoiled by The Avengers and Iron Man 3, and odds are most normal people are gonna dig what is the most badass Superman movie yet, but if any character was an excuse to just cut loose and make an awesome, fun superhero movie, it would be Superman. By no means do I mean it should be cheerful 100% of the way through (his origin story involves the death of nearly his entire race), but after forty minutes of a muted, desaturated world where Clark Kent (Henry Cavill) is wondering whether he should actually use his powers to help people at the risk of incurring the fear and mistrust of a species not ready for it, you wish they'd just get on with it and have fun.
     
    But the most "totally-not-getting-it" feature of the movie is that it's constantly reminding us that Clark is an alien outsider. The youngest we see the character is when he's struggling with the fact that he can see through people's skin while his classmates comment on how weird and insular he is, and pretty much every Clark scene after that is him struggling not to contain his alien-ness. Fact is that he's Clark Kent and a human first, a Kryptonian second. Instead, we get a movie that probably uses the name "Kal-El" more than "Clark".
     
    On a related note, they only say "Superman" two or three times in this two and a half hour movie. You know, because Gawd forbid a superhero movie not be ashamed of the sillier or cornier elements that made it a superhero tale in the first place. Again, probably spoiled by Marvel's Cinematic Universe.
     
    Clark Kent's origin story hasn't really been changed all that much, except for some added details to set up the plot for the movie. Krypton still blows up, but it now happens due in part to a complete draining of its resources by its inhabitants and a short but violent civil war instigated by the Kryptonian military class, led by the ruthless General Zod (Michael Shannon). His intention is to save Krypton through the genetic cleansing of his people, essentially leaving only the bloodlines he deems worthy of survival. Zod's former colleague, Jor-El (Russel Crowe), instead wants the opposite: an abandonment of the laws that selectively breeds Kyrptonians and places them into per-selected roles, instead promoting free will and chance. As such, Jor-El's son, Kal-El, is the first natural Kryptonian birth in centuries.
     
    Zod won't have any of that shit, but he's unable to stop Jor-El from launching his son (who holds the key to Krypton's future due to somewhat vague and complicated reasons) into space, while Zod and his gang of ruffians are imprisoned in the Phantom Zone hours before Krypton is destroyed.
     
    So Kal-El lands in rural Kansas, is discovered and raised by Jonathan and Martha Kent (Kevin Costner and Diane Lane), named Clark, all that good stuff. Eventually Clark decides he needs to travel the world to figure out who he is and how to interact with humanity. Eventually he discovers his Kryptonian origins via an alien craft buried in the Arctic, along with the iconic suit and a new sense of purpose.
     
    Wait, no, he's still trying to determine how he should interact with humanity.
     

     
    The timing of his discovery comes only a few days before General Zod and his crew, having escaped the Phantom Zone, show up on Earth to capture Kal-El and use the planet as a stepping stone for rebuilding the Kryptonian Empire in their image. Superman won't have any of that shit, and the rest of the movie becomes a battle to save the Earth, with the help of reporter Lois Lane (Amy Adams) and the occasional words of wisdom from his Ghost Dad.
     
    The cast is putting forth a lot of effort, even if the characters they play never give them a chance to really stretch their legs (with one notable exception). Cavill seems to have a handle on Superman, but he only ever gets to play either confused Kal-El struggling to find a purpose or Superman being pissed off. We only get a taste of the classic Superman we all know and (hopefully) love, and we never get to see him just be Clark Kent.
     
    Adams is trying her darnest as Lois Lane, but the writers never give her anything to do except snoop around a bit in the second act. But worst off all, she doesn't seem to have any chemistry with Cavill, and seeing as how important that relationship is to the character (and popular culture as a whole), that's tragic.
     
    Crowe is pretty solid as Jor-El. Maybe a bit too similar to Marlon Brando's version of the character, but he has a presence and the right combination of emotion and Spock-esque coolness.
     
    Costner and Lane are great as the Kents, bringing a lot of warmth to a movie that really needs it, though I wish Jon Kent would dial back the "you're gonna change the world, son" speeches.
     
    Then there's Perry White (Laurence Fishburne) and the rest of the staff of the Daily Planet, where Lois--actually they don't really factor into this at all. In fact it feels they were here just because it's a Superman movie. Moving on.
     
    Surprisingly, some of the best moments in the movie come from Colonel Nathan Hardy (Christopher Meloni), the military man who interacts with Superman the most. His character, again, doesn't have too much to do, but when Meloni needs to deliver an important line, he gawddamn delivers an important line.
     
    But by far the best performance and character is Shannon as Zod. Shannon is one the best character actors out there (
    ), particularly excelling villain roles. Zod is no different, with Shannon effortlessly balancing intensity and a commanding presence with pure rage. It certainly helps that the writing really picks up with Zod; he's cruel and vengeful, but believes with every fiber of his being that what he's doing is the right thing. 
    There's this fantastic scene near the end where Zod is pushed past his breaking point and goes into full on evil mode, delivering a speech that comic book awesomeness is made off. It's cheesy (one line in particular is corny as all hell), but it's sort of poetic and the kind of over the top superhero dialogue I've been wanting this whole movie, so whatever.
     
    In the end he's the only character who really ends up being compelling by himself, unfortunately. For me, at least.
     
    So at this point it probably feels like I found the movie disappointing and mediocre. Yes, it was disappointing in many respects, but despite all the things I felt they did wrong, I highly recommend it, even going as far to say that if you plan on watching it, see it in theaters, because the battle sequences are awe-inspiring. It's the best descriptor I could think of.
     
    It's kind of like how people say that you should see Transformers just for the action, but unlike in those movies, these action scenes aren't shitty. Far from it. Not only are they just around well directed and put together, but they're on a scale and visual level that's second to none. Punches and kicks land with enough force to level a city block. The battles are fought at supersonic speeds, but last several minutes instead of ending quickly, creating a constant assault on your senses. A lot of thought was obviously put into visualizing what characters of such immense powers trying to beat each to death would look like, and it's probably as close as we're going to get for a while.
     
    You can see where all the budget went in this movie, and it's here that you see Snyder really excel at his talent as a director. If I was more invested in what was going on, I'd name the fight scenes (the climatic one in particular) the best superhero action scenes ever (The Avengers and Spider-Man 2's brawls still take the cake).
     
    If I have one gripe with the content of the action scenes is that I wish there was more scenes of Superman doing his thing: breaking off from a fight to save people caught in the crossfire, or redirecting the battle away from the population. That's the kind of stuff I love about the character. Instead, he doesn't really seem to notice the citizens who are stuck in the middle of it all, and aside from one or two moments, he doesn't really make an effort to actively help people or contain the violence. In fact, the reason one of the fistfights breaks out in Smallville is because Superman actually seem to draw them there, and by "drew them there", I mean he flat out threw Zod through a gas station full of people.
     
    But that's a nitpick (I think), and in the end, it's satisfying to finally get a Superman movie with such a display of raw power, and it ain't just restricted to the fight scenes, or even scenes with Kyrptonians. Whether it be something as simple as a school bus falling off a bridge or a (rather random) tornado flipping cars and debris all over the place. When the movie isn't contemplating humanity or something, it's as big as a movie can get.
     
    Also, it looks cool. Snyder is one of the best visual directors out there, and Man of Steel is no different. The muted tones (which actually work well here), the depiction of Superman moving at Mach 11 speeds, the H.R. Giger-esque design of Krypton, it all just looks great.
     
    I absolutely love the music too. It's not John Williams, but it works as a new theme for a new generation. It's big and triumphant, and it fits the character well.
     
    It may not really grasp why Superman is so great, but Man of Steel is worth it just for the visuals and the spectacle.
     
    And while I am always against a movie trying to get away with skimping on a satisfying experience with a promise that everything will be better/be explained/the promises made for this movie will be kept next time, there's enough enjoyment here that I can overlook that the movie implies the Superman movie I wished this was will happen next time.
     
    Do I think it works as a movie that best represents 75 years of stories and why the character has endured as long as he has? No. But I had a good time once the bing-bangy scenes started dropping, and if this movie succeeds and inspires Warner Bros. to get off their collective asses so they can do the DC Universe (at least the parts that are not Batman) cinematic justice, than I can dig it.
     
    7/10
     
    P.S. I like Christopher Nolan and love his first two Batman movies, just to be clear. I just don't think his approach the Dark Knight Trilogy took was appropriate for Superman at all. The only reason he's attached to the project at all is because Warner Bros. wants him to be the godfather of the DC Cinematic Universe, when he'd rather not.
     
    P.P.S. The costume looks alright overall. I rather the colors were a bit more vibrant and the texture is distracting, but the CGI cape looks good and I love the emblem.
     
    P.P.P.S. Why is Jimmy Olsen a lady now? I don't mind, but I also don't really see the point. Ah well.
     
    P.P.P.P.S. The little fist fight between Jor-El and Zod was pretty cool. I wish Snyder had directed the Bane fights in Dark Knight Rises.
     
    P.P.P.P.P.S. At least this Superman movie can safetly claim it has more implied dead fetuses than any other movie in the franchise.
  9. Orablanco Account
    Please ignore the Dreamworks Face.
     
    GO.
     
    NOW.
     
    GET IN YOUR AUTOMOBILE, GO TO THE MULTIPLEX, ACQUIRE AN ENTRY VOUCHER, SIT YOUR BUTT DOWN, AND ENJOY THE BEST DAMN MOVIE DISNEY HAS MADE IN LIKE FOREVER.
     
    Bolt was pretty decent, Princess and the Frog was flawed but also pretty good, Tangled was really good, Wreck-it-Ralph was great, and this...
     
    It's...
     
    It's...
     

     
    Yes. Magic.
     
    For anybody who's been hoping that Disney would truly go back to the glory days of the Renaissance, this is the closest its come in over a decade. Maybe I'm over-blowing how great it is, but if anything, that's an indication of how excited this movie made me, and it's only getting better the more I think about it.
     
    I know, I know, absolutely nothing in the commercials or trailers has indicated anything really great. "What," you snarl, "that stupid-looking movie with the obnoxious snowman guy? Why would I want to watch that, Citrus? You have failed me yet again!" But I assure you, your majesty, it really is much more than some pandering kiddie-flick. It's actually quite smart. Like, genius. Subversive, even. Like, it's gonna hit you like a hurricane five different ways past Sunday. Whatever that means.
     
    If it sounds like I'm being ambiguous, it's because I totally am and you have fallen right into my trap. I really don't want to give away everything that makes this movie genius, so both because it's best you go in blind and because I am lazy, imma just gush for a minute or two.
     
    7 FREAKING REASONS FROZEN IS FREAKING GREAT.
     
    1. The voice cast is marvelous and lively, especially Kristen Bell and Idina Menzel as the lead sisters. Menzel's experience as the misunderstood Elphaba in Wicked comes in handy as lonely-princess-with-supernatural-powers-turned-badass-snow-queen Elsa.
     
    2. Like I said, subversive as hell. The "love at first sight" and subsequent one-day courtship that usually appears in Disney movies is condemned and mocked by several characters (and it's actually what sets off the main conflict in the movie), the main relationship is between siblings and not a couple, the Disney trope that deems all queens be evil is played with, the absence of the parents that we always see in these films actually takes a toll the main characters, and the comic relief character is almost a tragic figure.
     
    3. That said, it still balances that line between taking a critical eye to the tropes of the past and still displaying a genuine love for the Disney canon and all the fluff that comes with it, something most recent fairy tale (if you can call them that) movies have a hard time doing for some reason.
     
    4. It's expertly scripted and paced, juggling several themes, introducing characters and ideas, and moving the plot along all at once, and it doesn't even break a sweat. Me thinks some of Pixar's sorcery has rubbed off on Disney.
     
    5. The musical numbers are absolutely phenomenal. The central ballad, "Let it Go", can stand toe-to-toe with anything from the Renaissance. I'm listening to it right now.
     
    6. It's the type of visual treat that only Disney could create. They get a lot of millage out of the ice powers and all the fantastic imagery they result in.
     
    7. Even Olaf the Snowman, the obvious comic relief everyone thought was gonna be the worst thing ever, is kind of great. The movie knows when it's appropriate to whip him out for a healthy laugh and when to restrain him and let the drama happen. He's genuinely likeable (thanks in no small part to Book of Mormon's Josh Gad's performance), and his lack of understanding of what freeing the land from winter and bringing back Summer will mean for him adds an unusual layer of sadness to his character. The movie mostly plays it for laughs, but it's there, and it becomes quite poignant in the third act.
     
    Just to be clear, it's not entirely perfect. Maybe the songs could have been paced a bit better (like most Disney movies, the first half is flooded with music while they become more scarce in the second half), and I think the climatic scene could have used just a wee bit more umph (though it should be noted that there is still a considerable amount of umph). While the movie does a great job of reinventing the Disney Princess movie, if you have a genuine problem with Disney fluffiness and magic in general, than you might not be all too into this. Then again, I'm posting this on MLP Forums, and I'm guessing most of you probably don't have a problem with that.
     
    So yeah, Frozen is great. Really, truly, beautifully great. Really hope this is an indication that Disney is entering a new golden age.
     
    Everyone go see it.
     
    NOW.
     
    It gets a 9/10.
     

  10. Orablanco Account
    May not exactly be horror, but this is easily one of the most important movies EVER. At the very least, no King Kong means no Jackson Lord of the Rings or Angry Video Game Nerd, so I think the Eighth Wonder of the World deserves a post.
     

     
    Awesome.
     
    - Partially inspired by the true story of a Komodo dragon stolen from its native environment and brought to New York, where it died shortly afterwards.
     
    - Special effects god Willis O'Brien was hired to work on this film after his dream project, Creation, fell through. Many of the dinosaur puppets built for that movie were used here.
     
    - Fray Way took on the part of Ann Darrow partly because she saw something in M.C. Cooper's enthusiasm, and partly because she was promised a role opposite the tallest, darkest leading man in Hollywood.
     
    - Kong's roar is a lion roar and tiger roar stuck together and played backwards.
     
    - It is said that Carl Denhem is basically a fictionalised version of M.C. Cooper (right down to both of them willing to stand in the path of charging animals to get a good shot), while the more stern and serious Jack Driscoll was co-director Ernest B. Schoedsack.
     
    - Two separate Kong's were used in the movie. One of them still survives and currently takes shelter in Bob Burn's basement.
    - Because film composting (putting several layers of footage together, kind of like green screen) did not exist in 1933, the special effects team had to get creative whenever there were several different elements in a shot outside of the stop motion. Of course, you had the use of actors acting against a rear projection of the monsters and miniatures, but shots where the special effects themselves were the focus required something more clever than that. The most insane solution used was to take frames of the live action elements, like the cast, place them within the miniature set, and animate it along with the stop motion. In scenes where you had a bunch of different elements, like Kong's lair, which had smoke, water, two human actors, and Kong and a giant snake...
     

     
    ...things got crazy.
     
    - Willis O' Brien leaked false information on how the special effects were achieved so as to maintain the illusion. As such, while we know the basic techniques used on the film, we will never know the specifics of what Brien did. Just as he intended.
     
    - Many critics praised how realistic Kong's fur was and how it seemed to move with his breathing or stand up on edge when he was shocked. This was, of course, the hands of the animators leaving impressions on the rabbit fur used on the puppets.
     
    - The scene where Kong attacks the elevated train was added in late in production to beef up his rampage in New York.
     
    - Cooper and Schoedsack's love of wrestling came in handy when it came time to choreograph the fight with the T-Rex. They acted out the whole scene for the animators.
     
    http://youtu.be/uYWSOzFMZjg
     
    In the 2005 remake, the last third of the T-Rex fight is an exact recreation of this original fight.
    - The film's first rerelease saw several scenes deemed too risque or violent for the masses were removed, such as the scene where Kong takes off Ann's clothes and sniffs them, or when he drops people to their doom or stomps on them.
     
    - The planes in the climax of the movie are a callback to Cooper and Schoedsack's days as fighter pilots.
    - The most famous deleted scene of all time has to be the "lost spider pit" sequence, in which the crew members who fell off the log into the chasm survived, only to be eaten alive by giant spiders and a variety of other nasty things. The scene, by all accounts, was apparently so creepy and disturbing to contemporary audiences that, according to M.C. Cooper, it broke the movie; several people left in the middle of the scene and the people who stayed wouldn't stop talking about it through the rest of the movie. Cooper took it upon himself to cut the scene out. It was promptly lost and became the holy grail of early sound cinema, with only a few images and puppets surviving.
     

     
    Peter Jackson took it upon himself to not only essential remake the scene in his 2005 version, but, in an attempt to understand Willis O'Brien's work, led the creation of an authentic recreation of the scene, along with another deleted scene featuring a triceratops, stop motion and all. We may never know how accurate it is, but it's pretty damn cool.
     
    - Ernest B. Schoedsack tried to get Willis O'Brien and his team nominated for an Oscar, but to no avail.
     
    - Once they get off the freaking boat, the 2005 movie is actually pretty sweet. Can't say the same for the shoddy 1976 film, Lebowski Origins: The Dude, though it does contain one of my favorite bits of movie trivia ever.
     
    This movie was a attempt on producer Dino De Laurentiis's part to make a movie that would outdo Jaws as the biggest movie ever, a goal he pursued with a pathological edge. Hoping to sit butts down in the theater, De Laurentiis came up with, like, the best idea ever: while the original had to rely on obvious stop motion, they were gonna build a giant ape robot. And the insane part is that nobody told him this was a logistically retarded idea. They actually built a giant ape robot with the intention of using it throughout the move. Can't say I wouldn't go see a movie that was advertised with the use of a giant ape robot.
     
    Shockingly, the thing looked like utter crap. That piece of junk could only be used for the scene where Kong breaks out of the cage, and even then for only a brief few seconds.
     

     
    Not sure if I understand the artistic decision to make Kong look like he's having a stroke.
     
    This totally-worth-it enterprise crippled the effects for the rest of the movie; Kong ended up just being makeup artist Rick Backer (the guy behind the werewolf stuff in An American Werewolf in London and Michael Jackson's Thriller) in a meh-looking ape suit, and most of the dinosaurs and monsters were scrapped, leaving a single snake to fight Kong.
     
    So yeah, boo to that movie, oodles of love to the original. Thank you for proving to the world what film-making could do back when every movie was essentially a play.
     

     
    Kudos to Kong.
  11. Orablanco Account
    Couldn't find a good gif, so I made one.
     

     
    The King of the Monsters deserves no less. I've provided the following tune to establish the evening's tone. Please repeat the song how many times you need to finish reading this.
     

     
    - Originally envisioned as a giant octopus, before the look of a giant ape with a mushroom shaped head (because mushroom cloud) was considered.
     
    - "Gojira" is a combination of the Japanese words for "gorilla" and "whale". A popular idea has it that this was the nickname of a guy who was working at Toho at the time. "Anguirus" was considered, but ultimately saved for Godzilla's greatest monster ally.
     
    - It varies depending on which continuity we're dealing with, but as of right now, Godzilla stands at 80 meters (267 feet), weighing 55,000 tons.
     
    - The roar is accomplished by rubbing a leather glove down the strings of a bass, similar to the TARDIS sound effect.
     

     
    - The original was made practically at the last minute; Toho needed to make a movie, any movie, and fast. Producer Tomoyuki Tanaka got the initial idea for the movie during a plain flight by taking a bunch of random magazine covers and stories and mashing them together. The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms served as the basic idea of a giant monster, and Godzilla's origins (animal that was mutated by nuclear fallout) came from a story about a U.S. bomb testing mutating the local tuna population.
     
    - This pressure to get something done fast meant they had to abandon the use of King Kong-style stop motion effects. Thus, they brought in the suit. And unfortunately for the man inside it, it was a wearable hell. A drain had to be installed to easily let sweat out, and it could only be worn for 3 minutes at a time.
     
    - King Kong vs. Godzilla remains the highest grossing Godzilla movie ever.
     
    - Godzilla vs. DESTOROYAHHHHH!!!, which ends with our favorite reptilian anti0hero dying, really was meant to be the last Godzilla movie for awhile. That is, until the 1998 American remake sucked so freaking hard that Toho decided they needed to make a few more to appease all the pissed off fans. Within the movies themselves, the filmmakers took every chance they could manage to take a shit on Zilla (the American version), even going so far as to have that crappy version of Godzilla fight the real one in the (for now) final movie, only to be taken down in 13 seconds.
     

     
    Huh. Seems I don't know too many Godzilla fact-o-roonies. I am sad.
     
    I'm gonna have to make up for this one. In the meantime, have this.
     

  12. Orablanco Account
    So...yeah, go see the movie. I wish I could say more, but I don't want to spoil anything outside of the fact that it's really freaking great. It has this fantastic dreamlike quality that gets refreshingly trippy and existential, love the sense of scale present in several of the scenes, every second was so jam-packed to the brim with jokes, sight gags, and legitimately awesome action bits that I'll probably enjoy it the second, third, etc. number of times I watch it (probably more because there won't be terrible audience members), love the moral (the only movie in recent memory to actually go full-on with the whole "anyone can be the chosen one" theme), it looked amazing, it's incredible how engaged you are despite the fact that literally every scene features some sort of self-mocking gag, and it goes without saying, but Unikitty and Benny the 1980's Spaceman were the absolute best. Did not know Charlie Day was in this.
     
    It was a better action movies than most action movies nowadays. It was a better Batman movie than The Dark Knight Rises. It was a better MLP movie than EQG. It's like someone took the opening of Toy Story 3, expanded it to an entire movie, combined that with Who Framed Roger Rabbit and 2001: A Space Odyssey, and set out to make an awesome parody of The Matrix that might totally be better than The Matrix.
     
    And then Batman's grunge song about his dead parents and how awesome the color black is plays over the credits.
     
    Go see The Lego Movie.
     
    http://youtu.be/StTqXEQ2l-Y
     
    Your move, Boxtrolls.
  15. Orablanco Account
    On this day in 1989, Tim Burton's cinematic dance with Batman in the pale moonlight was released, and things got weird. To say the movie had a colossal impact on Hollywood and pop culture, for better or worse, would be an understatement: the incredibly successful and inescapable marketing changed how movies were sold, its success set new exceptions for all future blockbusters, it put Batman back into the spotlight,
    , its perceived darkness and edginess (despite the fact that the movie is actually quite kooky and campy and only really dark in the literal sense) had Hollywood trying to replicate that for the longest time, while the comic industry took that to heart and gave us a decade of "dark edginess" that nearly killed the medium under the weight of sheer awfulness, the superhero movie was proven to be a profitable endevour a decade before Marvel kicked it into high gear, and the movie's popularity spawned one of the greatest TV shows of all time and a film series that would end up sucking so hard that it may very well have given birth to the angrier form of nerdom as we know it. But that latter point is a whole other story. 
    It can be a bit hard to separate the film's legacy from its quality, though, and make no mistake, it's not perfect. As is the norm for many Tim Burton productions, the story isn't that well paced, comes off as sloppy in areas, and feels like it's placing its focus on the wrong things, making The Joker the one who killed Bruce Wayne's parents is a terrible revision, and it hasn't aged particularly well, what with Kate Basinger's 80s hair and the utterly insane original music by Prince. But there's a lot to like, and I think it outweighs the movie's flaws, numerous as they are. The production design is incredible, Danny Elfman's score is legendary, Michael Keaton's as Bruce Wayne is refreshingly nuanced and underplayed, while his Batman oozes cool and set the standard for all future Batmen, the supporting cast is enjoyable all around, and Jack Nicholson is Jack Nicholson playing Jack Nicholson.
     

    Life's been good to him.
     
    So yeah, not a masterpiece or anything, but certainly a good time, and its a milestone either way. And so in light of the movies silver anniversary, I've dragged my factoids blog out from the dungeon, complete with lack of proofreading, to mark the occasion. You can't make an omelet without cracking a few eggs, so let's get cracking.
     
    - Tim Burton had never had any exposure to Batman before making this film. He was given the first year of Batman comics from 1939 to read, which explains the 30s-tinged vision of Gotham city and Batman occasionally killing henchmen; Batman's code against killing wasn't a part of the character until much later.
     
    - Long before Ben Affleck was rather harshly judged by the collective forces of the internet, Michael Keaton's casting as the Caped Crusader drew ire from fans, with his role in Mr. Mom being the vocal point of the argument that he was unfit for the part. Because if it's one thing Batman fans are good at, it's absolutely knowing when an actor isn't gonna be good as a Batman character.
     
    - Meanwhile, Adam West felt a bit dissed when he wasn't asked to reprise the role.
     
    - Robin Williams was cast as The Jocker when Jack Nicholson declined, but was released from the role when Nicholson changed his mind on the matter. Williams has sense refused to take part in a Warner Bros. production until they've apologized for the affair.
     
    - A big part of Nicholson's decision to play The Joker was the percentage of the film's profits that he would receive. The movie was a mondo success, so he made $60 million.
     
    - Before Kate Basinger was cast as Viki Vale, *breath* Rosanna Arquette, Jamie Lee Curtis, Ellen Barkin, Robin Duke, Kate Capshaw, Glenn Close, Joan Cusack, Madonna, Geena Davis, Judy Davis, Denny Dillon, Christine Ebersole, Mia Farrow, Carrie Fisher, Bridget Fonda, Jodie Foster, Teri Garr, Melanie Griffith, Linda Hamilton, Daryl Hannah, Goldie Hawn, Mariel Hemingway Barbara Hershey, Holly Hunter, Anjelica Huston, Amy Irving, Diane Keaton, Diane Lane, Kay Lenz, Jessica Lange, Lori Loughlin, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Virginia Madsen, Kelly McGillis, Bette Midler, Catherine O'Hara, Tatum O'Neal, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michelle Pfeiffer, Molly Ringwald, Meg Ryan, Susan Sarandon, Jane Seymour, Cybill Shepherd, Brooke Shields, Sissy Spacek, Mary Steenburgen, Sharon Stone, Meryl Streep, Lea Thompson, Kathleen Turner, Sela Ward, Sigourney Weaver, Debra Winger and Sean Young (who very nearly got the part) were all considered.
     
    - Billy Dee Williams was to continue playing Harvey Dent/Two-Face in the sequels, but he was released from contract so Warner Bros could cast Tommy Lee Jones in Batman Forever. I'm guessing more than a few people regret that decision.
     
    - The only live action Batman movie to feature only one supervillain.
     
    - The surgical tools used on The Joker's face were previously used by Orin the Dentist in the Little Shop of Horrors remake.
     
    - Keaton couldn't hear when he was using the Batsuit. He said the resultant claustrophobia helped him get in the proper Batman mood.
     

     
    - In the original script, Robin was to be introduced briefly in the third act, but he was cut when the writers realized that he wasn't essential to the plot. The Special Edition DVD features an animated version of the original storyboards. It's worth checking out,
     
    - You know what else the original script had? A gangster getting kicked into a giant pencil sharpener and killed. I'm not joking.
     

     
    - The Batmobile was built around a Chevy Impala. Fully constructed it was 20 ft long and weighed around 1 and 1/2 tons
     
    - As I mentioned earlier, the film is literally dark if dark at all. So dark that people complained that they couldn't make out what was going on. The initial video release made the picture lighter as a result.
     
    - Tracy Walter was cast as Bob the Goon based on his close friendship with Nicholson, which would explain their amazing chemistry on set. Truly Oscar-worthy, Bob was.
     
    - Like I mentioned in my Aliens factoid post, the Ace Chemicals plant set was used as the atmosphere generator in Aliens, but the filmmakers had to get rid of all the Xenomorph nest crap before filming could begin.
     
    - Actor Giancarlo Giannini voiced the Joker in the Italian dub. His son, Adriano, would go on to voice the Heath Ledger Joker for The Dark Knight dub.
     
    - Jack Nicholson: "The thing I like about The Joker is that his sense of humor is completely tasteless."
     

    No real reason for this gif being here, I just felt it needed to be here. Look how happy Bob looks.
     
    - The painting that The Joker saves from destruction is Francis Bacon's "Figure with Meat," which depicts, well, a figure surrounded by hanging meat. Maybe it's a coincidence, but didn't one of The Joker's key scenes in The Dark Knight feature a man bound up and surrounded by hanging meat? Just, sayin'.
     
    - Speaking of which, it's easy to see The Joker hitting on Bruce Wayne's lady friend and getting tossed off a building in The Dark Knight as further tips of the hat from Christopher Nolan.
     
    - The filmmakers ended up liking the character of Alex Knox so much that they let him survive.
     
    - It was Keaton who thought up the dinner scene at the impractically long table and Bruce Wayne hanging like a bat while he sleeps.
     
    - The cathedral-based climax was based on the climax in The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Also of note is that when The Joker calls for a helicopter to pick him up in ten minutes, it actually takes ten minutes in the film for the helicopter to show up. Nice.
     
    - The cartoon sketch given to Knox near the beginning of the movie was drawn by Batman creator Bob Kane, who would have made a cameo were it not for his health issues.
     
    - The first trailer so captured the hearts and minds of the fans that it was promptly bootlegged and shown about at conventions. People would even pay full price to see the trailer and then leave before even watching the movie it came attached with.
     
    - The scene where Batman and Viki are driving to the Batcave in silence has always been my favorite, if only because Danny Elfman's score really is amazing. Seriously, put in some headphones and crank it.
     

     
    And that's pretty much it. Thanks for reading, and remember: Youuuu...are mai numbah one...GUYYYYYY...
     

  16. Orablanco Account
    After three infernal weeks, my review of Season 4 is finally done. Sorry it took so long; I wish I had gotten this out sooner when this was all still relevant, but academics took precedence, and the ability to get a few hours of sleep is one hell of a drug.
     
    Maybe it’s for the best that it took so long; it just meant that I had more time to maul things over and really figure out how I felt about this glorious nonsense, which I probably needed. I had that little grumpy phase I went through mid-season that stopped me from really exploring each episode or fully enjoying many of them, meaning it was probably in my best interest to rewatch and try to look at them more subjectively.
     
    Now this ain’t gonna be in-depth in the slightest; these are just me rambling about the quality of each episode and whether I think it worked or not. Smarter people than I have already done more all-encompassing reviews and analysis of the season in droves, so there’s probably not much I could add at this point outside of my inability to proofread in any meaningful way. Besides, if I'm going give these their own separate reviews, which as far as I know is what I'm planning on doing eventually, I'll just save my super deep expressions of love and fury for then. Always leave them wanting more, unless that thing they want is oxygen, in which case you should give it to them immediately.
     
    I’m leaving out the X/10 scores this time, as I'm getting the impression that my reviews are too dependent on fitting some numerical value. Hopefully I can sell my opinions clearly enough that you can gather whether I like an episode enough. If that’s not enough, the post-review ranking should clear up how I regard the episodes in relation to each other.
     
    And thus, it begins…
     
    Princess Twilight Sparkle: As a season opener/follow up to “Magical Mystery Cure,” it works. Giving Twilight the same uncertainty about her new position that the viewers have and making that the driving force of the story is a stroke of genius, and a good amount of time is spent on the reassurance that the characters are still themselves and that this is still the same show, which is probably a good move seeing as how the last time we saw these characters is when they got turned into Bratz. As a tight and satisfying narrative, the two-parter doesn’t stand on its own all that well. The Everfree vines are a weak threat to open a season with, the way the flashbacks are woven into the story is clumsy (Yes, I’m sure that’s just something zebras have lying around), the separation of the group in the third act is tedious and pointless, and they really, really need someone to sort out the history of this joint.
     
    At least it looks pretty, and finally getting to see the legendary confrontation between Celestia and Nightmare Moon is one the season’s coolest moments. Discord also makes a welcome addition, as the cast’s inability to fully trust him adds an edge to the second half.
     
    Kind of lopsided, and even more so in retrospect, but at least I can respect that it doesn’t feel like a story that was mandated by Hasbro.
     
    Castle Mane-ia: If you have great characters, sometimes all you need to do is unleash them in an odd situation or setting and see what happens. A very funny little romp that never feels like it’s trying to wring laughs out of the characters. They’re entertaining enough acting like their regular self’s and interacting with each other that the writer doesn’t have to do that.
     
    We never did get any follow-up on that Pony o’ Shadows, though, did we?
     
    Daring Don’t: Not very polished beyond some amusing action and Indiana Jones references. The writing is uncharacteristically sloppy for Dave Polsky, with a muddled and confused moral, plot holes that arise when the smallest amount of thought is applied, and a mopey Rainbow Dash scene that’s incredibly forced. So yeah, weakly written episode, but I’m sort of indifferent to it. It’s just a basic action adventure cartoon, and in that regard I’d say it features some shred of success. Certainly not deserving of the outright hate I’ve seen it receive in some circles.
     
    Flight to the Finish: Slightly disappointing. The emotional and storytelling possibilities of this eventual episode had been reeling though my mind after “Sleepless in Ponyville,” and I guess I was expecting something with more punch to it. That, and I would have preferred that Scoot’s problem arose from her own insecurities (which is good storytelling), instead of as a ploy by Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, who continue to be awful characters. Despite that, “Flight to the Finish” ain’t bad, to be sure. In fact, there’s enough good stuff here to save it after that initial disappointment. The song is excellent, the lesson is great and one that needed to be taught on this show, and I really like that the relationship emphasized isn’t the one between Scoots and Rainbow Dash, but the one between Scoots and the Crusaders.
     
    Power Ponies: I don’t really have much to say about this one. Spike saves the day with the help of his nerd knowledge and Fluttershy turns into the Hulk and kills a giant hairdryer. The quality of this episode should be apparent in that one sentence. Hey, I may be an easily amused child, but at least I can recognize the value of Fluttershy turning into the Hulk and killing a giant hairdryer.
     
    Bats!: One of those episodes I didn’t really know how to feel about at first. I was disappointed that the episode didn’t spend more time exploring the clash between AJ and Fluttershy; that was a great use of both character’s natural attitudes to generate drama and probably could have carried an entire episode. My opinion has grown a bit since then, though; one has to appreciate the uniqueness of the story in comparison to the whole series, and the decision to turn the perceived woobie of the group into a monster and then end the episode with the implication that she is still a monster is…interesting.
     
    Rarity Takes Manehatten: The first legitimate hit of the season. Rarity continues to be Best Pony, due in no small part to Tabitha St. Germain nailing every single line thrown her way and the writers’ dedication to crafting a character I think most people embarking on creative endeavors can relate to. The song is a quality tune, even if it is a little too “RARITY IS SUPER GENEROUS, U GUYS, THIS IS THE THEME OF THE EPISODE,” the setting is a great change of pace, Suri (who sounds like a snobby Kristen Wigg) and Coco are enjoyable, and I really appreciate the moral about not letting living in a dog-eat-dog devalue being a good person. See, I told you guys Polsky could pull it off.
     
    Pinkie Apple Pie: This one was just lovely. I had been looking forward to it the moment that wonderful song number premiered at Comic Con, and seeing it complete with the boopening animation only elevated it further as one of the most joyous moments of the whole season. The Apple family have never been more fun, with Pinkie strategically deployed to play off their frustration for maximum chuckles. It’s a great time from beginning to end, and totally one of the highlights of the season. To the core.
     
    Rainbow Falls: Weak sauce version of “Wonderbolts Academy.” The show has always had a problem with consistent characterization and themes in its lesser episodes, but this may be the worst example, deciding rather randomly that the Wonderbolts are horrible douchebags and constructing a scenario that makes me wonder why Dash would still want to join those guys. Given that this is the series-long goal driving one of the main characters, I should not be questioning this unless that was intended, and I don’t think it was.
     
    Couple that with Pinkie, Rarity, and Applejack acting like obnoxious psychos, a dull story that fails to interest, an overreliance on contrivances to drive the story, and a moral over-simplified to the point of uselessness, and we’ve got a stinker. At least Soarin seems like a nice guy, and it was pretty funny watching the reviewer community lose their fudge over this one.
     
    Three's a Crowd: Again, not much to say about this one outside of the utter delight I felt in hearing John de Lancie sing about the intricacies of caring for the feeble while dressed like Raoul Duke and getting harassed by the TSA. Kind of filler-ish, but I had a good time, so I’d say it was worth it. I like seeing Cadence hang out with Twilight outside of a two-parter, even if she still doesn’t have that much of a distinct personality.
     
    But seriously, get out of here, Flash Sentry.
    Pinkie Pride: You know we’re in good shape when Weird Al singing a polka cover of “The Smile Song” isn’t the best part of the episode. The pacing is excellent, the songs, based solely on how expertly they’re weaved together and elevate the ideas and emotions in the story, are the best work Daniel Ingram and Amy Keating Rogers have ever done on the show, and it understands what these key episodes should be doing: not only defining their respective character, but adding depth and weight to the character’s relationship with their Element. This is the most three-dimensional Pinkie has ever been, and it’s a great example of how good a character she can be when she’s written as more than just wacky comic relief. It’s mature, touching, and silly fun all at once, and it leaves me feeling all toasty inside like the best of the series. Pretty much the best of the season, is what I'm trying to say here.
     
    Simple Ways: This episode used to “rub me the wrong way” for whatever reason. My best guess is that this was when my grumpy phase was just beginning, and I was in no mood for such tomfoolery. Upon further inspection of the episode at hand, I really don’t know what I was so angry about, because this is actually quite the commendable episode in many respects. St. Germain and Ball are supreme MVP’s, it tackles its relatively new-to-the-series lessons in crushing pretty well, and most of the humor hits its mark. I don’t know if it helps the point of the gag, Rarity realizing how annoying a shallow interest in something is, if Applejack is actually quite good at being fancy, but the scene works.
     
    Filli Vanilli: I liked it. Fluttershy learning a thing or two about anxiety is very redundant at this point, but the way the lesson is taught is pretty nifty. It has some solid humor too, the highlight being Big Mac “explaining” the situation to Applejack. Sooooo, yeah, the episode’s pretty fine. At the very least, it’s a harmless piece of entertainment, and while I’d prefer something with a little more on its mind, at least it didn’t suck, which I guess is something. Big Mac croons and Cheerilee swoons, what’s not to like? Y’know, besides Pinkie being horribly ignorant. I mean, dang, girl.
     
    Twilight Time: Just sort of there, this episode is. It has some neat moments here and there; the CMC’s voice actresses seem like they’re having a good old goofy time playing the parts, and it’s great seeing the three develop practical skills and actually make progress on that front, as opposed to their usual aimless pursuit of random activities. It just isn’t a particularly compelling plot; nice idea and moral, but there’s no momentum. Things just sort of happen, and characters be like, “okay, I guess we should react to that now.” Not a problem I saw coming from Polsky. Say what you want about his work, but his episodes usually move with some sense of purpose. Ah well, I like the CMC enough to give the episode a pass. Just didn’t wow me on any other level than “that was nice and harmless.”
     
    It Ain’t Easy Being Breezy: You cannot distract me with your David Tennant horse, "Breezies;" this was some pretty dire shite. The Breezies are either confounding, stupid, pathetic, obnoxious, or all that at once, the writing is annoyingly superficial (everything Rarity says has to do with fashion, Dash describes everything as awesome, Pinkie Pie is a spaz for no reason, etc.), the scene with Spike and the leaf is the most asinine thing I have ever witnessed, and the climax is atrocious in twelve different directions, not the least of which is that it robs Fluttershy of the spotlight in her own showcase episode and throws the moral, the best thing this episode has going for it, into question.
     
    We can blame Hasbro for making DHX do an episode where the Mane Six get Brundlefly’d because somebody thought that’d be a great toy to sell, but most of what goes wrong with its execution, if not all of it, lays with DHX itself, who handled this task in the worst manner possible. Neck and neck with “Rainbow Falls” for worst of the season, but this one “wins,” because while “Falls” is incompetent, “Breezies” is the rare example of the writers not even trying.
     
    Somepony to Watch Over Me: The premise is solid, the CMC are hilarious, and the third act, despite the chimera not living up to her awesome intro, is really cool and a lot of fun. But I can’t help but feel this is a missed opportunity. What we have here is the basis for what could be an affecting look at this the relationship between Applejack and Applebloom in the spirit of “Sisterhooves Social” or “Sleepless in Ponyville,” something that really dives into somewhat maternal nature of their bond. The writing, unfortunately, decides to interpret Applejack’s protective feelings towards her sister as absurd and over-the-top as possible, which, while humorous at first, I think undercuts a lot of whatever genuine maturity they’re going for. It’s still there, but it isn’t as effective. It’s an enjoyable enough episode thanks to the non-Applejack parts, but it could have been so much more.
     
    Maud Pie: The idea of these friendship-fixated personalitites meeting someone who’s too strange and off-putting to befriend no matter how hard they try is a really funny and interesting idea, and whereas “A Friend in Deed” sort of wimped out on that in its third act, this episode’s take on it is a lot more satisfying. Maud is awesome and the deliveries by all the voice actresses are across the board hilarious. Any episode that inspires a new appreciation for geology in the youth is a winner in my book.
     
    For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils: Great premise that takes stuff we’ve seen before and twists them into something new, great visuals and animation, great atmosphere, great music, great pacing, great use of its central characters to generate a conflict that feels natural, great voice work by everyone, and a great use of Luna that reminds me that she totally deserves all the love she gets. Not much to elaborate on here; I thought it was just dandy, and time only made it better. More episodes like this and Sweetie Belle might just yet become one of my favorite characters.
     
    Leap of Faith: This episode doesn’t commit any remarkable sins, and can be entertaining at times thanks to the Apple family, but it didn’t do anything for me. The story plays it too safe, never taking Applejack far enough out of her comfort zone for me to be all that invested when she finally has her big Element moment. Being unsure if the truth will do more harm than good and whether honesty is worth it for its own sake is an engaging conflict, but the answer to this episode’s dilemma is too obvious (tell the truth or your grandma gets herself killed), and we don’t really see the negative consequences, if any, to AJ’s actions, which she later describes as “the hardest thing she ever did.” Not feeling you on that one, AJ.
     
    Testing Testing, 1 2 3: A first-rate outing where I least expected it. This is the episode that officially brought me back up to speed with my love of the series, what with its Spongbobian vibe and ability to turn something like not being able to study for a test into something engaging and hilarious. (I guess you could say I let Rainbow remind me.) The voice cast completely owns the universe for about 22 minutes, with Tara Strong in particular finally getting back to the Twilight we’ve been missing all season, it makes good use of every character and plays them to their comedic strengths, each gag hits its mark, the lesson is great, and we even get a little world-building. As far as slice of life episodes go, this is as good as it gets.
     
    Wiki-wiki-wiki.
     
    Trade Ya!: Same thing as Castle Mane-ia, but with different pairings and the spooky castle switched out for a more interesting location in the form of this bustling market place. I love all the little details throughout the setting and the personalities of all the different vendors the characters interact with. Very entertaining episode all around, with chemistry to spare and a new record for number of friendship lessons learned in a day.
     
    As for the whole “Dash is a horrible slave-trading idiot” controversy, it comes off as a bit of an overreaction, at least to me.
     
    Inspiration Manifestation: I went in expecting the worst, seeing as how this was coming from Corey “’Sleepless in Ponyville’ may have been a fluke” Powell. Glad to see that it wasn’t the worst. In fact, I very much admired its characterization of Spike, the lesson, the entertainment value in seeing Rarity going full-on Lawnmower Mare, and the immensely creepy direction it took and how much creepier it gets the more you think of all the questions left unanswered about that book and why anyone in their right mind would keep that around. Perhaps the story should have been answering those questions, but I’m pleased with the end product, if only because it’s a Spike episode where he has to rely on himself to learn the lesson and fix the problem. And he got to eat the Necronomicon, which I don’t think a lot of characters in any work of fiction can lay claim to.
     
    Equestria Games: Yes, “Equestria Games” really should have focused on the freaking Equestria Games, the event that had been hyped up for a little over a year, and that can be counted as a huge strike against it. Weird lack of follow-up on that aside, I did like a lot of what the episode decided to commit to: Spike’s personal conflict feels like a natural progression of his character arc, the way Spike’s uncertainty with his newfound high status is reflected in Twilight is clever, the moral is fantastic, the way everyone interacts with each other feels natural and lively, and dang near busted a gut during the botched anthem and immediate aftermath. Apparently I’m one of only two people in the world who thought it was funny (the other being the friend I watched this with), but what do I know, I’m just a guy watching My Little Pony.
     
    Quite the unique mixed bag: complete fail on the writers’ part for not showing us the actual games, but the stuff we got instead is rockin’ like Dokken. See, this is why we need two-parters outside of the season bookends.
     
    Twilight’s Kingdom: It’s not perfect. The usual pacing issues we see in these two-parters are present, the villain doesn’t have a tangible motive outside of just eating everyone’s magic and destroying trees, Twilight goes through the exact same “friendship really is magic” lesson she has learned three separate times before now, and once again I wish they’d make one of these with the group as a whole driving the story instead of everyone playing a secondary character to Twilight. You’d think the nature of the key storyline would make this episode about the group, but apparently not.
     
    But, despite those problems, it was an immensely satisfying hour of television. Exciting and atmospheric throughout with the highest level of menace since “The Crystal Empire,” the production value and music is predictably top-notch, some of the writing tugs at the heartstrings in ways I didn’t expect and wraps up the season’s overarching story and themes successfully, Tirek is an effective villain that combines the straight up evil of the G1 villains with just the right amount of a distinct personality and pathos, and the emotional core of the episode—which, surprisingly, doesn’t come from Twilight but rather from Discord—is solid. While I do wish the other Mane Five were involved beyond being hostages that Twilight has to rescue, the battle sequence kicks so much ass. I didn’t think they were even allowed to do stuff like that.
     
    Perhaps repeat viewings will reveal more nitpicks and quibbles, but as of right now, the finale works, both as its own fantasy adventure and as a cap to The Key Saga ™.
     
    And now, Citrus presents his highly questionable ranking of each S4 episode from best to not-so-best in this specific moment in space and time:
    Pinkie Pride
    Testing Testing, 1 2 3
    Pinkie Apple Pie
    Twilight’s Kingdom
    For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils
    Rarity Takes Manehatten
    Equestria Games
    Trade Ya!
    Maud Pie
    Inspiration Manifestation
    Flight to the Finish
    Simple Ways
    Three’s a Crowd
    Castle Mane-ia
    Power Ponies
    Princess Twilight Sparkle
    Filli Vanilli
    Somepony to Watch Over Me
    Bats!
    Twilight Time
    Leap of Faith
    Daring Don’t
    Rainbow Falls
    It Ain’t Easy Being Breezies

    Overall, what can I say? It’s MLP: it may not be perfect, but when it’s good, it ranks as some of the best animated television ever. At the very least, I commend S4 for its willingness to experiment with what types of stories the series was willing to tell and how it would tell them. It took risks, and I’d rather have a series that takes risks that aren’t always successful than a show that’s content doing the same thing over and over again into oblivion.
     
    Thanks for the all hard work, DHX, and congrats on another season come and gone. Here’s to Friendship is Magic’s continued success in moving millions of grown men and women with their mutant horses, twelve more Equestria Girl movies be damned!
     
     
     

    ~ ~


     




     
     

    And welcome back, Derpy.


  17. Orablanco Account
    I originally planned on this being a full on review of Amazing Spider-Man. Something thought out and considered, a piece of writing that read like someone was trying to explain himself in a ordered and intellectually stimulating manner. But y'know what? I don't feel like. This movie doesn't deserve it. I wish not to think about it more than I have to. If I do that, than I'm just gonna be grumpy the whole night, and you know how that is.
     
    So...yeah, ASM sucks. Not totally and utterly, but it is a sucky movie, failing to work both as a piece of entertainment and as a cinematic understanding of one of my favorite characters. And it wasn't like I went in wanting to hate it. In fact, back in 2010 when they announced the reboot, I was one of the few fans I knew of looking forward to it. I loved the first two Raimi movies, the second of which I still consider to be the greatest superhero movie ever (yes, I rank it over The Dark Knight), but Spider-Man 3 left a horrible taste in my mouth. I was excited to see a Spider-Man movie with a younger Peter Parker still going to Midtown High, maybe with a deeper exploration of Parker's coming-of-age (the Raimi films were more focused on a man trying to find balance in life, as opposed to a kid forced to become that man sooner than wanted). And I thought the casting of Andrew Garfield was pretty darn good.The Social Network had just come out and I knew him from that great performance; I had not yet had my opinion of him tainted by his horrible New York accent in "The Daleks Take Manhattan."
     

    Those were the least embarrassing monsters he faced in New York City, as we soon discovered.
     
    We'd be getting the Lizard, as well as a proper Gwen Stacy after the horrible botch job in SM3, Uncle Ben was gonna be played by the Illusive Man, Spidey had actual web-shooters as opposed to those gross organic ones in the Raimi trilogy, and back then I still had a prayer of seeing some sort of connection with the developing Marvel Cinematic Universe. I had learned to temper my expectations after the last one, but I was optimistic. I was looking forward to seeing how this turned out.
     
    But then the costume design was revealed, and the whole thing just sort of snowballed from there, and now I'm typing this, and you will read it, and that's where we stand.
     
    And before any of you tell me, yes, I realize SM3 is worse. That was a confused, ridiculous mess of a movie plagued by too many chefs in the kitchen. Yes, some of it reaches unfathomable levels of stupidity, and I am well aware of that. In fact, I can confidently say that movie was my personal Ovaltine decoder ring moment. It taught me that the world isn't perfect and that bad movies can be made from really good things.
     
    But that doesn't excuse ASM one bit. Sucking slightly less then something else is not a mark of quality. That's a mark of sucking slightly less. Slightly.
     
    Like I said, I'm lazy and don't want to talk about this, but I feel as though I should explain to you guys why I'm constantly putting this film down. Thus, I shall resort to the dreaded list format from here on out. But first, I feel it only fair to point out the things this movie does right, because I'm a great guy.
     
    So...
     
    - Martin Sheen and Sally Field, while maybe not as warm as Cliff Robertson and Rosemary Harris, make a pretty good Uncle Ben and Aunt May. They're convincing as real parental figures, and they're likable enough that I'm appropriately bummed out when Uncle Ben meets his fate.
     
    - The fight scene in the school is neat. It's fast-paced and intricate like a Spider-Man fight should be and it's cool seeing the webbing play a larger role than before.
     
    - I like the part where he smashes the alarm clock.
     
    - Pffffffffffbbbbbt.
     
    Okay, THINGS THAT SUCK:
     
    - Peter Parker sucks as a protagonist, and it's all thanks to the script. It can't decide what it wants him to be and he ends up being an unlikable cypher who mumbles his way through everything because Garfield can't figure out how to play him. The most consistent character trait he has is a weird stalker-y streak, wherein he takes pictures of a girl he has a crush on (but doesn't know) and uses her picture as his desktop wallpaper. Yikes.
     

    Chicks dig the Edward Cullen hair.
     
    - Gwen Stacy has no freaking character. She's just there to serve as a plot device and love intrest, the latter of which is unfortunate seeing as how she shares absolutely no chemistry with Parker. Aren't Emma Stone and Garfield dating in real life?
     
    - Oh hey, the Lizard is here, and he sucks too. Ignoring the fact that the film just ignores the fact that he has a family he's struggling to keep safe from his lizard-ness (that was all in deleted scenes, more on that later), his character is even more confused than Parker's. First he's the only nice scientist at OsCorp, but then he's implied to have betrayed Parker's father, but then he's a anti-hero trying to save war veterans, but then he's going after Parker, and then he wants to turn everyone into lizards because...he can? You can't give a shit because you can't figure out whether you should.
     
    - They eff up the origin story big time, turning Parker's motivation for becoming Spider-Man into a ripoff of Batman Begins and having Uncle Ben die over chocolate milk. And I wouldn't mind them changing the context of origin story so much if it wasn't so obvious they only screwed up the origin story out of a hipster-y desire to be different.
     
    - In fact, the whole movie can be summed up as lacking any vision. This isn't the work of a director trying to tell a story; this is Sony trying to crap out a Spider-Man movie in time so the rights to the character doesn't go back to Marvel/Disney. This not only leads to characters and motivations that aren't well thought out, but it's obious that much of the movie went through the ringer in the editing room. Almost every scene that made the Lizard's character make any sense at all were cut, and that Untold Story bullshit isn't seen in the movie at all after the first act.
     
    - Speaking of which, nobody gives a shit about Peter's parents, nor should they. It's an uninteresting plotline that only serves to make the movie more angsty and "gritty" then it should be, and it only furthers the biggest moment of "not getting it" in the entire movie: the implication that Peter Parker, one of the greatest everyman-turned-hero characters ever, a character defined by the randomness of his origin story and his struggle to try to come to terms with the greatness thrust upon him, was always destined to be a Spider-Man.
     
    And yeah, the mysterious parents story was in the comics. And it was awful.
     

     
    - The movie follows the Marvel Ultimate Universe example of making everything connected in a bid to make the narrative easier to follow. Everything is a freaking coincidence: Peter's dad just so happened to work with Curt Connors, who just so happens to work for the company whose experiments turn him into Spider-Man. And Connors also just so happens to be Gwen Stacy's mentor, while Gwen just so happens to be the daughter of the police captain going after Spider-Man.
     
    Remember when I said The Winter Solider was awesome because it trusted the audience was smart enough to follow along? Yeah, this is the opposite of that. All it accomplishes is making the world feel smaller than it should.
     
    - The character designs are god awful. There's a reason no one has messed with Steve Ditko's original spider-suit design all that much since its creation in 1963: it's perfect. It's dynamic and unique and just oozes cool, no matter what. Following in the footsteps of the rest of the movie, the spider-suit redesign is different for the sake of being different. The over-complicated gloves, the pajamas-like quality, the basketball texture, the yellow eyes, the mismatched colors, the silver sneakers. It all adds up unmitigated fugliness, standing toe to toe with the 2011 movie Green Lantern uniform in terms of sheer ass.
     

    Ewewewewewewew.
     
    The Lizard doesn't look too much better. You had one job, guys: a lizard man wearing a lab coat, and instead you give us this flat-faced goof that looks like a reject from The Super Mario Bros. Movie.
     

    That's hilarious.
     
    And even worst...
     

     
    - I can't take Peter's struggles as Spider-Man seriously because the movie doesn't. He keeps coming home with bruises and blood-shot eyes, he bends a freaking goal post with a football, suddenly materializes on the 10th floor of building without using the entrance, and fails to give one excuse for any of it, and yet no one questions him on any of this.
     
    - The movie attempts to make Spider-Man more jokey than the Raimi Spidey, which is line with the character. Unfortunately, this movie is remarkably unfunny and quite obnoxious. If I see that stupid small knifes bit one more time.
     
    - If it wasn't "Dig on this," the crane scene would be the dumbest thing to ever happen in these pictures.
     
    - Peter Parker discovers his powers by ripping a woman's shirt off, and then he orders his web fluid online.
     
    - Speaking of which, he uses Bing. Loser.
     
    - The musical score is generic as hell.
     
    - The web-shooters have muzzle flash.
     
    - Edward Cullen hair.
     
    Okay, I'm done. Screw the sequel, I aint waisting money on Elctro looking like Mr. Freeze and characterized like Jim Carrey's Riddler while the Green Goblin looks like the mutated offspring of Beavis and Butthead, all while Parker actively tries to mess up his girlfriend's chances of going to college.
  18. Orablanco Account
    ...
     
     
    ...
     
     
     
    ...
     
     
     
    ...
     
     
     
    ...
     
    What you people know.
     
    I'm gonna ask ya some questions and get some answers, like what's a fire and why does it - oh, what's the word - BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNWhen's it my turn?
    Wouldn't I love, love to explore that world up aboooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOve?!!!?!?
    Out of the sea...
    Wish I could be...
    Part of that...
     
     
     
    ...worrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
  19. Orablanco Account
    No, I'm serious. I find her lack of consistent quality throughout S4 to be most displeasing, with many of the writers seemingly forgetting what made her great to begin with. It's like every line that comes out of her mouth is related to fashion, as if there's nothing else to her wonderfully nuanced character. It's grown predictable and obnoxious, and plays into the lain wrong assumption that her shallowness is her defining character trait. Sure, Rarity's still awesome in S1 and S2, and Tabitha St. Germain is still enjoyable, but she doesn't have anything to work with. I just don't know how to feel about Rarity anymore, and it's left me confused.
     
    Sigh.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Nah, she still good. You guys probably thought I was serious, though. Yeah, that's a problem, I think.
     

  20. Orablanco Account
    That's a really freaking smooth gif.


     
     
    This is a good one, guys.
     
    I'm a bit lazy, so don't expect anything too well written/proofread here, but yeah, Winter Solider is the nearly perfect version of what it wants to be, and that is the most adult movie Marvel Studios has attempted thus far. Not to say it isn't fun (because it's really, really fun and kids will enjoy it to bits), or that it dips its toes into Man of Steel's 9/11-imagery-happy madness (I said it was adult, not mind-numbingly manic-depressive). It just takes chances that I couldn't see the other Marvel movies. Gone is the pulpy adventure tone from The First Avenger, replaced with a spy thriller where no one can be trusted, morals are questioned, and the usual robot-blasting and monster-punching replaced with straight up guns, knifes, and hand-to-hand combat, with some shield-tossing and the occasional exploding helicarrier thrown in. If the first one was Raiders of the Lost Ark, this one is Skyfall.
     
    And it appears that the overriding theme of Phase 2 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe is subversion, because Winter Solider drops the whole enchilada and rewrites one of the core aspects of this canon.
     
    It can be a bit heavy sometimes, what with its central character questioning how he can be the living embodiment of his country when he doesn't know what his country stands for anymore and whatnot, but thankfully these people know what they're doing, unlike some other filmmakers. It's certainly gritty, but it's the classy kind of gritty.
     
    Overall, it's a good time. It's well-paced, the cast is great (I hope to see Anthony Mackie's Falcon around for a long time), it's engaging from beginning to end, it's probably the best action movie out of all the non-Avengers movies, and while it's a bit disappointing that he isn't in the movie more than he is, the Winter Solider is an absolute highlight. It's a smart movie, one that expects that it's audience is able to keep up with it and think about what it's selling, and I can't think of too many summer movies that do that. This alone would get the movie my recommendation.
     
    If I had any problems at all, it's that I find Cap's key to be really weird. I mean, Tony Stark's Dora watch makes sense, and so does Dr. Selvig's discarded underwear in Thor: The Dark World, but why would a piece of gum be Steve Roger's wait wrong franchise.
     
    Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stop reading this and see it. Please.
     

     
    And stick around for both the mid and after credits scenes. The first one introduces a key element for Avengers:Age of Ultron, and the second...well, I ain't giving that away.
  21. Orablanco Account
    All actors have to start somewhere, and not all of them can be Orson Welles in Citizen Kane. Sometimes you've gotta start small. Like, Matt Smith playing younger Ralph Fiennes in In Bruges levels of small. And you don't often get the most accurate impression of what these actors and actresses will be. You watch Harrison Ford as a bellhop and you would never say "Yeah, total badass." You see Sam Rockwell as that mouthy teen in the Foot's warehouse in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but how could you know that he'd become one of the most weirdly underrated actors ever? No, seriously, he's great, go watch Moon.
     
    But sometimes you can look at an actor's debut and see what kind of peformer they are going to be right from the get go. From the first frame of their debut, you know they're gonna accomplish wonders and capture the hearts and minds of entire generations.
     
    Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Nicolas Cage's first role.
     

  22. Orablanco Account
    Anyone see that episode of Bob's Burgers where Bob gets the restaurant a local commercial during the Super Bowl for the sole purpose of having a commercial for his restaurant playing on every big screen TV of his rival's restaurant during the big game?
     
    The Welovefine T-shirt contest is the Super Bowl, and Equestria Daily is Jimmy Pesto. We're doing this. Well, I'm doing it, but whatever.
     
    I'm just having trouble figuring out ideas for a T-shirt. I can worry about the execution later, I just need an idea to work from. What's a S4-related subject that you would totally wear on your chest in public?
  23. Orablanco Account
    As you all probably know by now, I hated this past weekend's episode and would go so far as to consider it the worst in the series thus far. So you can imagine my amusement in a comic poking fun at the climatic deus ex machina. Here's the the original comic by Hapoppo, complete with a link to the page so you can fav that stuff:
     

     
    And here is the horror that followed (click for maximum carnage):
     

  25. Orablanco Account

    Thank you all.

    By Orablanco Account,

    It nearly slipped my memory, but a quick double-check on my profile confirms that today is the anniversary of me joining the forums. Wow.
     
    I first found the site in the wake of "The Crystal Empire". I was so excited by that awesome episode and all the rumblings it caused in the mythology of the show that I had to listen to and read every theory that came out of the woodwork, so I searched for a pony-specific forum and came across this one. I then spent the next three months or so lurking about, absorbing all your knowledge and crackpot delusions (which were very well written nonetheless), and when Twicorn became a thing that was totally gonna happen, I decided to make the leap and became a member of this forum.
     
    And the whole thing just sort of snowballed from there. My commenting on the last few episodes of the season gave way to my reviewing of the whole of S3, which then gave way to anticipation of S4 (coupled with that whole EQG ordeal) which then gave way to an endless, pointless, but totally worth it wasting of time with you knuckleheads.
     
    I made friends here, of course. @Sir.Flutter Hooves was always there to be overly friendly to everyone, would be ready to spew off some random and nonsensical but ultimately enlightening fanon with me (we have to do that again sometime), and @Edgeworth1001, who joined shortly after me, was always a pleasure to associate with. @Batbrony's love of Derpy has always been an inspiration to power a nation. @Fhaolan was is an exceptionally cool dude, and incredibly tolerant of my constant ramblings of the Whovian variety. By the way, I'm reading his story "Terror of Tartarus", and it's aces. You should all read it, too.
     
    @Accellerant is always there to cheer me up and encourage me when I am at my lowest points, @~StatesTheOblivious~ and I forged a bond in the heat of our battles to defend Sparity to the last, is just a great dude to mess around with, is able to withstand my sarcasm and dorkery like no one else here, it's always a joy to talk about the quality of new episodes with , and , or Godot, or whatever, is one of the coolest guys here, period. And likes Brazil, so that automatically makes him my friend. I could name drop some more people here, but just assume everyone here is a fantastic human being (at least I hope most of you are human beings), and that I'm better for knowing each and everyone of you
     
    Being on these forums have given me something to do for the past year of my life. It's through here that I regained my interest in drawing and associating with other people outside of whatever social circle I'm in. As of now, this is the closest thing I have to an active social media source, and it's always been encouraging that I have a group of people I can talk to at the end of the day.
     
    I'm not always the best person to associate with, and I'm sorry for that. I'm a bit spiky, I tend to take my emotions out on others frequently, I'm a wee bit too facetious or confrontational at times, I curse way too bucking much, and when I dislike something, I dislike it hard. But I truly appreciate the friendship I have with this community, and it's through you guys that I experience this wonderful, silly, impossible show that we've all taken a liking to.
     
    And so, after all is said and done, after all the badly photographed sketches which then became weirdly vectored art, all the the theories regarding why Fluttershy keeps all her friends' dresses in her cottage, the arguments in defense of Rarity, the surprisingly controversial banners, the illegal breaking of people's status updates, the infrequent reviews, the promised Weeping Angels which I am so still totally doing, the art blocks, the words of kindness, the ballooned ponies of the new and improved variety, the weird requests for art, the obsessive amount of focus on The Day of the Doctor, the diabeetus, the horror movie trivia, allusions to stuff no one really cares about, the enormous amounts of typos,, and my ultimate quest to defeat the system and my eventual triumph in the form of a feature on EQD, I just want to say, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
     
    Thank you all.
     

     

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