Charcoal Embers

Alright. The reason I don't find it believable is because I've never known anyone who was hated by absolutely everyone. It is extremely unlikely, and while some people can be that cruel; there's almost always at least someone who's a decent person. And at least one parent is usually loving towards their kids, so seeing two parents treat their kid like that in a place like Equestria doesn't seem plausible to me.

 

Now, her mistreatment is what led to her running away to Ponyville. However, I don't think the circumstances of her mistreatment are very likely, especially in a place like Equestria. Hence, I don't find her motive believable.

Oh! I get it now. From an Equestrian standpoint, yeah,I get where you are coming from. XD But admittendly, if I was going for a completely Equestrian character I will admit, it wouldn't be this Character. XD

Why she chose to run away (you already mentioned why she chose to go there specifically). Currently, her motive for leaving is because of how badly she was treated by everyone she knew, which isn't very believable to me. I've never known one person who was hated on such a large scale.

You might need to go into more detail as to why you don't find it believeable. BEcause I don't quite see why. 

Yup.

 

I'd just tone down on being overly cruel to Charcoal, and figure out a more believable motive for her to go to Ponyville.

Believable motive? As in for why she chose to go there specifically or why she chose to run away?

 

OC: Charcoal Embers Owner: Charcoal Embers Alright, design first. Now, for this OC, I am conflicted. The image supplied on the character’s page doesn’t make the red and black color scheme look good, but the one in your avatar does. Perhaps it would be best to incorporate the clothing in the avatar to her? One of the few instances where clothing would improve an OC’s look. Anyway, the color scheme goes well with the yellow clothing, so I’d definitely suggest incorporating that. If not, scrap this color scheme. Red and black seldom ever go well together, and the yellow clothing makes your OC a rare case. I also think that the cutie mark should be changed to a more reddish color. Blue clashes a bit with the rest of the color scheme. As for the personality, I find it to be a bit shallow. Shy and takes some time to get to know others is an extremely common trait, and should always be paired with other traits. If Charcoal’s a skilled builder (unique choice, by the way. We don’t have enough builder OCs out there), shouldn’t that offer some ideas for traits? Try to think of traits good workers would have an incorporate those. Wow, her parents seem like jerks. I personally don’t think you should incorporate her parent’s almost throwing her out of disgust. We already know she was made fun of; including her parents doesn’t add anything. I do like that they decide to wait for advancements in magic, reminds me of the real world and medicine. The next paragraph is one where I have a bunch of problems. I have never known anyone who was hated on by absolutely everyone for something out of their control. It’s just not believable. I get that you’re trying to make your audience care for your character, but there are better ways of doing it. At this point in the backstory, we’ve heard nothing positive about Charcoal, so it’s hard to care about her, which makes all this abuse of her seem overly tragic. However, you do need a motive for Charcoal to run away. So, to do this, I’d suggest limiting the amount of the people who bully her (including her parents; if you’re going to make them jerks, at least limit it to one parent only), but make the ones that do a tad more cruel. It’s also important to mention others that are kind to her, and try to come up with some good traits to shine on her. If done well, she should be too upset to pay any mind to the kinder ponies, and she still has a reason to run away. Anyway, the backstory is good the moment she gets to Ponyville and stays that way, so I don’t think there’s anything that needs to be changed there. Just fix the first half. Overall, Charcoal has a pretty good design, a shallow personality, and an overly tragic first half for the backstory. Grade: C+

Wow... has it been that long? I don't remember when I last updated Charcoal on here, but wow... it's been forever since I asked for a review. XD

Sorry for the double post, but yeah. I do need to update Charcoal a bit. I put too much shyness into her. XC And even a friend of mine said that the shyness can get in the way. So I need to refresh that part of her a bit. And how would you suggest that I fix her backstory?

@,

Hey, not trying to be pushy or anything, but we are just waiting on you and Ampharos to post in the RP.

@@clockwork24,

So is Aerodynas I'm sure. But if they did forget or they have to stop it is really going to put Aerodynas into a bad mood.

I hope no one has forgotten the RP.

My heart skipped a beat as they mentioned that I was hiding something, but I was grateful to see they didn't want to press me for anything right now. What they wanted to know didn't bother me, but I was a bit disappointed to see them having to go. "Alright, I'll be seeing you guys. I hope you have some luck with finding what you are looking for. And if I could be of any help, just come find me." I said with a smile, not expecting to see them any time soon, but feeling the need to say that anyway. Then I was on my way. I had never been here before, but I wasn't coming here completely unprepared. I brought out a map of Atarashi that I had gotten and used it to lead myself. And with only some slight issues, I was able to find my way to the hotel I would be staying at. It wasn't anything fancy, but it was at least good enough to not be a shithole. Checking in and getting the keys to the room I would be renting I found my way to my room and began to get settled in, going straight to the bed with a smile on my face. "Ah... it is getting late, if I start sleeping now I can hey up earlier tomorrow and begin exploring. I have enough money to let me last a while, but I will need to find a job as well. Oh, but I am so excited to get started." I squirmed a bit in my bed, so ecstatic to explore the next day as I closed my eyes, attempting to fall asleep and get the next day started.

@@Aerodynas, 

I knew that they couldn't be talking about me. I had never been anywhere near my entire life. Yet, when they asked me if I had seen something... weird, I couldn't help but think of my... ability. It made me slightly nervous, but I kept a cool head and continued to smile at them, only shifting my feet slightly. "Strange you say? Well... I can not say that I really remember seeing anything  strange while on the boat. And the strangest thing I have seen since I have gotten off the boat is how load that announcement is. So, I'm sorry, but I don't think that I have seen anything strange. Maybe if you specified what you were looking for I would be a little bit more helpful. But for now, I'm sorry, but I can't say I know what you are looking for." I said to them, being mostly genuine about my boat ride. It was true about me not seeing anything out of the ordinary, but when you were me, you usually ended up having a few things go wrong around you from time to time.

@@Aerodynas,

I was surprised when I saw how many people actually stood around here waiting for transport while that loud announcement speaker was going off. It would deafen me after 30 minutes of hearing it. But what happily surprised me, was how I was pretty much immediately greeted by a very nice boy right off the bat. I smiled at the three boys, looking over them and easily noticing the blush from Isao. "Oh, well aren't you just a gentleman. It's very nice to meet you Isao. Yes, I am new here. I just got off the boat and was just wondering what I should go do first. I know I should go check into a hotel somewhere, but there is just so much here and I am sure that it is something I will want to explore as soon as possible." I said with a smile as I spun around a little, looking up into the sky and at the tall buildings. But that's when I remembered my manner, as I stop my spin, flattening my light blue skirt and shifting my white long sleeve shirt I look back at Isao. "Oh, but where are my manners? My name is Prisca. Prisca Casa. Nice to meet you." I said, holding my soft, yet firm hand out for a handshake.

It was greater than anything I had imagined. Well, that wasn't true. I had seen many many pictures about this place. Atarashi, I had been waiting to come here for a while now. And now, I was finally here. The boat I was riding on couldn't have arrived faster, as I already had all my things ready and in my hands, wanting to get off this boat. And when we were finally aloud off the boat, I couldn't have taken it all in. All the lights, the colors, all the people and different places to go, it was all too much. "Alright, calm down, let's just take a deep breath." I said to myself, taking in a very deep breath before releasing it. This was a new home, with new opportunity. New people to meet and new experiences to be had. "Oh, I can't wait to start meeting the people around here." I said, finally starting my march forward, not really sure where I was going to go to first.

Soooo... Any news? Hate to see this go dark before it even starts.

Sorry. Aero got a little distracted with Shadow of the Colossus last night. I really Don't know what is going through his mind about this. But unless he tells me other wise and either of us say something here, I would assume that the RP is canceled.

Yay! It is almost time.

Name: Prisca Casa

Gender: Female

Age: 21

Appearance: 5’-1” Tall, Prisca normally has long, blond hair, but she occasionally has some sort of coloring in it to give it a little flare. Her bust is very average, while she is quite lean, toned, and has a face that will make a lot of people stare. Lips with just a bit of pink to them, a face that some would say practically glows, and her eyes are a very nice Amethyst purple. She always enjoys dressing up a bit, nothing TOO flashy for just normal walks, but things like some light makeup and a nice dress.

Personality: Prisca is a flirt. If she likes you, she won’t be afraid to say it. If she thinks you are good looking, she will tell you. She knows she is good looking and will show it off. She has nothing to hide and if you ask her, she will tell you pretty much anything. And while she can go overboard sometimes, she is still sweet at heart. She does care for people who care for her back. She isn’t afraid as well to use her charm and looks to try and get things she wants. She won’t steal, but she will occasionally try to get people to do things for her. But despite her outword appearance, she isn't entirely happy. She always acts happy for the others around her, but leave her completely alone for a while, and she will lose it. She needs to have company around to stay sane and she is always finding it hard to sleep at night without someone there with her.

History: She never knew her parents. Almost as soon as Prisca was born she her mother died from a heart attack. And when she was very young her father died through means that were never explained to her. But after her father died she was immediately moved to her grandparents where she was immediately put into a boarding school with pretty much all girls. Starting out it was an all girls school, but the year Prisca came in it changed to where boys could apply too.
She was alright in her classes. Passing them easily and moving through the grades. But despite her being so popular, there were a choice few that really tried to make things hard for Prisca. They wouldn’t do much, but the biggest thing being that one of them found out about her parents. They would tease her constantly about it. And despite what she would act like at school, it hurt her badly. So badly that eventually, after her grandparents got the story out of her, they put her in a little bit of therapy, and hired her a personal self-defense teacher, since they felt that bullying always ended with the bully hurting their victim. To the surprise of everyone she did especially good, learning some of the basics very quickly at a young age, and Prisca really enjoyed it too. She soon started taking different martial arts classes, learning different forms combat while growing up. And she very soon became nearly a master at many different forms of combat. She personally prefers combat involving landing hard strikes to sensitive points at the body, but knows much more than just that. After she graduated from school she happily moved out of her grandparents’ house, ready to take on the world. She currently lives in Atarashi, knowing that it is a very good for a new start.
 

Abilities: Umbra Vivens

Much to the fascination of her companions and family, Prisca's subconsciousness takes on a form far more physical than simple information within her mind. As if moulded by some supernatural force, Casa's very shadow appears to move with a mind of its own. In reality the shadow is simply following the commands of the owner's subconscious thoughts, though how this is even possible is still up for debate.

What is known is Prisca has some slight control over the shadow, though these manipulations often reflect her current state of mind rather the concious thought processes. The subject has shown particularly strong responses to powerful, immediate emotions, often the shadow may take on a very disturbing or outright terrifying appearance as a defensive reflex to being scared. More often than not, the shadow is unable to interact with the physical world and simply carries the properties of a malleable lack of light.

Perhaps the most supernatural aspect of this power is when the two parts of the mind think in unison, often it is particularly difficult to have the subconscious side to cooperate but when it does spectacular things are sure to occur. The shadow, as if an extension of Prisca's will may be granted the ability to interact with the physical realm... With kinetic force. The more complex or difficult the task the harder it is for such a unison to be achieved, with simple actions such as lifting a glass of water being relatively easy compared to operating precise controls on a machine. It appears that through meditation and training, she has somewhat made this process easier, but only time will tell if such an event can ever become "easy," to instigate.

Whether through self-indoctrination, psychological trauma or perhaps even an inkling of truth, Prisca is convinced that the shadow is able to speak to her at times. Perhaps it represents her subconscious side communicating with her conciousness, perhaps she is delusional, none can say as only she has ever testified to communication with the entity.

(Credit for the ability going to Sanctified Absence for the full amount of details.)

Marking my interest!

I remember you! XD Got any ideas? Ideas for what it is going to be are really the important part right now.

It depends on what the setting and story will be.

The story will depend. That is basically what this is for. Throwing ideas around. Setting is going to be modern-ish.

Hello everyone. Cutting right to the chase, me and my friend, Aerodynas, are wanting to start a large RP with about 5 other people. We don't have an idea really for what the RP is going to be like, but the idea is for it to be big, epic, and not be MLP. Something like an anime. If anyone wants to join, help think up ideas, or if anyone is willing to be the DM that would be amazing as well.

Also, while this isn't a set rule. Preferably people of the age of 16+ would be nice.

Oh the things that I can say here.

First off, I am going to start by saying that whatever game I decide to hate on here, I am not saying the game is bad. Very likely I started enjoying it. But I just didn't like it personally.

Overhated : Alright, the game, or games, that I am going to do for this is pokemon. Now I haven grown up with pokemon my whole life and love it to death, so this might be slightly biased. I can understand if people don't like pokemon. Whether it be for how many pokemon there are, that the game is too easy, it is too boring, whatever it may be. But for people who do like it, and say that a certain generation shouldn't exist, stop. Every generation of pokemon is important. Whether it be the first generation, very clearly the worst of them all since it had to set the groundwork for every other gen, but very important. Gen two, gave us breeding and held items. Very important to give us the pokemon that we know today. And it also gave us the bike. Gen 3 (my personal favorite) this has been argued to be the worst gen. Mostly for how it prevents you from trading with any games before it. But it is important in how it gave us abilities, natures, and a way to control EV's and IV's. Gen 4, (which I saw a little further up. I can understand a button delay being annoying, but a reason to hate a whole game? Generation 4 was the first pokemon game to start on the DS and brought new light to old pokemon that would never be used for being useless in battle and giving them evolutions. Gen 5 gave us brand new items, hidden abilities, and whole new ways to trade with people. Gen 6 was one of the most important gens. With pokemon, it seems that the games that are the most important, really are not the best. Gen 6 brought us the PSS, a very simple and easy way to get good EV's and IV's and huffed a few stats on pokemon that were falling behind.

There really is not really a worst gen, just generations that we personally don't like. But every generation has brought something new and great to pokemon.

Overrated Skyrim. Now don't get mad at me for this, I love skyrim. It is fun and there disband lot to do. And that is why it is overrated. If you want a game where nothing is really that important and you can do whatever you want, this is the game for you, but as an RPG, skyrim sucks. As an RPG the player should feel that their choices make a difference, but in skyrim you can do anything without consequence. Slay a whole town, 3000 gold bounty or a night in jail. Killed the high king, become part of the Legion. The most you will get is a slight glance from a guard as they talk about how you smell like wet dog. And it is glitchy as all hell, I have played the game 5 times and have never been able to get the Oblivion Walker acheviment (which is for collecting the Dedric artifacts). And while it is fun once or twice, once you have done and collected everything and become unkillable, there is nothing left to do. You can pretty much do everything in one playthrough of the game with very little, if any, left to do.

Now this is just what I think on this. And on the subject of Skyrim, if you want a better RPG where your choices matter, play Fallout 3 or New Vegas. Both of them are very fun in their own right. And New Vegas really makes you watch what factions do and don't watch you.

My Favourite Mane 6 Pony: Fluttershy

How did you find MLP Forums?: I literally found it by goggling it and when I found it I fell in love with it.

How you became a fan of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: A friend of mine liked it and when I gave it a try I just absolutely loved it!

Hello there again forums. Technically I am not new to this site by any means, but I kind of stopped coming on as much for a while and now I want to re-introduce myself again. Hello, my name is Charcoal Embers, but my name IRL is Josh. I am a 17 year old male (going to turn 18 in literally a month) who is a decent gamer. I don't play many games though, I focus a lot on stuff like Pokemon and Smite for my games. I hope to meet some nice people here and make some new friends. And hey, maybe even more than friends.

Hello there.

If it is alright, I was wondering if you would be able to scetch my OC, Charcoal. You can get a pic of her from both my sig and my avatar. That's all I really have at this moment.

I'm sorry that I haven't posted everyone. I know that I should, hut I have been busy and every free chance I have had I didn't feel like RPing. I hope you all understand.

@, @, @,

I looked back and forth between the griffin and the pony who claims that he is the archmage. At least with the griffin, his story is quite believable since he is actually a griffin, and they aren't usually here in Equestria unless they are on official business. Or unless they are just here to visit friends. And it is obvious that this griffin is not here to just make friends. So, at least his story checked out, or at least it seemed to.

The pony in a robe on the other hoof, he was a lot more suspicious. I would have a lot more questions for him if I actually had the authority to pull him in for questioning, but that isn't something I can do. But at the very least, looking at these alleged letters or whatever from the princess. I don't know exactly what he is playing here, but I am going to want some more proof. "Alright Mr Archmage. Show me this letter and papers that you say you have. I would like to see some proof of them if you don't mind." I say to him, putting a lot of authority in my voice.

But while I am waiting to get the papers and documents from the pony, both the griffin and myself hear the pony that came down in an alley way not far from where we. I couldn't get a very good look at him, both from it being dark and from how the pony somehow reflected the sun. She would have spoken to the pony herself then, but then the griffin begins walking towards the pony. Not waiting on the papers I begin following the griffin myself, wanting to know more about this pony too, and if he has anything to do with why this town is so alone and lonely feeling.

@, @,

I had finally made it. After a week of walking, running, and hard labor as I had walked my way from Manehatten to Canterlot I finally looked up at the big city I had been hearing so much about lately. It was quite clear, even when looking at it from a distance, that Canterlot was not exactly the city that it used to be. I mean, you could definitely see that this was once a beautiful city that held many ponies and was rampant with tourism. But now, as I approach it, even I could feel a chill of eerieness as I walked up to the main gates, being stopped by the guards. Bit getting them to let me pass was simple. I would have loved to have just pushed past them and not wasted time, but instead I reached under my home made grey armor and pulled out a small medal, showing that I had at least good ranking in the royal guard. Now, technically I was no longer part of the guard, but they didn't need to know that part.

But as I walked inside of the city, the big doors of the city closing behind me, I could see why my friend left this place. There was hardly anypony on the streets of the supposed 'capital city' of Equestria. And it was almost like there was a slight dark fog hanging over the city as I began to walk around the city, seeing very few ponies. But as I walked around I began to notice that there were some ponies around that didn't exactly seem like they would usually belong. Specifically, some strange pony that looked like he belonged in some sort of ritual cult. And talking to a griffin? I don't try to be racist, but that doesn't exactly bode well with me. At least he isn't talking with a zebra, but still.

I shift the sleeves that cover up my legs, making sure that at least my front legs still have power for now, thankful that they matched the color of my fur perfectly. And then I shift my eye patch to make sure it covered up my artificial eye before walking up to them I clear my voice, trying to get both of their attentions at one time before giving them both a cold stare, but especially the pony in the robe. "Excuse me you two, but what business do you two have being out here? Last I heard, things haven't exactly been going well for locals around here when they are alone." Then I zero in on the stallion wearing a robe. "And last I checked, robes aren't exactly common for ponies to walk around in. What are you up to?"

@,

Thank Magos, I wouldn't have eve  known about this RP if it wasn't for him.

Hmmm... I'm not exactly 100% on this RP yet, but I might as well give it a try since Magos keeps pestering about it. XD

But in terms of characters, this seems like a good time to get my OC Cold Citcut polished in an RP. I will have to change her up a little, but this seems like a good scenario for her. Her character profile is in my signature. I know there isn't much there, but that's because I haven't done much with her. But that's why I want to give her a go in an RP. So at least tell me if you like the idea of her.

Also, I don't know where I am supposed to say lionheart, but... Lionheart I guess.

@,

Oh, and I forgot to mention as well, I would like to have the Xerxes​ for my OC. I don't know what it is, but I'll chose it.