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The Coffee Pony

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  1. The Coffee Pony
    Holy mother of Hell and Tatarus DHX what happened!? You know I'll admit I was very wary going into the episode when I saw the description because it looked like one of those episodes like "Feeling Pinkie Keen" where Twilight Sparkle makes a complete ass out of herself. You see whenever there's an episode that has a description that makes one or more the main characters out to be the bad guy it doesn't turn out to be a good episode. We saw this time and time again with episodes like "Bridle Gossip", "Feeling Pinkie Keen", "the Mysterious Mare Do Well" "Bats" and "Princess Spike". My suspicion only increased when it was revealed that Twilight was going to try and stop Starlight from being friends with Trixie, one of the most mistreated characters in the show's history. Yes, I'm aware that she tried to take over Ponyville in Magic Duel but you have to remember that things wouldn't have gotten to that point if the Mane 6 and other characters hadn't openly ragged on Trixie for doing her job, destroyed her home and humiliated her. Episodes like "Boast Busters" have only solidified my belief that, while I'm still fond of it, once you take off the Nostalgia Goggles and look at Season 1, it is the worst season out of all six, even with my admittedly lax standards.
     
    Anyway when I actually watched the episode, I thought it could have been a really good one! Most of the episode was solid but then DHX really dropped the ball on the climax. *SPOILER ALERT* Trixie had a plan to pull off a trick one of her idols, Hoofdini, pulled off, where she jumps into a hungry manticore's mouth and appears to get swallowed by it but then suddenly appears in a nearby box, revealing she wasn't eaten at all. Problem is, she didn't know how to pull it off. Starlight then offers to help her out by using teleportation magic to get her out of the Manticore's gullet and into the box. Before they start the show Twilight storms up to the three and argument happens and Starlight has a falling out with Trixie to which the latter character and Twilight feel bad about.
     
    After that we get a clumsy mess of a climax. Trixie is depressed, publicly says to her audience before she performs that she messed up royal and is going to start the Manticore trick on her own, something she has admitted she doesn't know how to pull of! Starlight, instead of stopping her and going "WHAT IN TARTARUS ARE YOU DOING!? YOU'LL GET YOURSELF KILLED!!!" just sits their and watches and Twilight approaches her and has a heart to heart with her apologizes and tells her to be friends with Trixie again all while said character is prepping in front of audience to do a dangerous stunt she doesn't know how to pull of and doing nothing!! Starlight then asks "What if she's only just using me?" practically admitting that she's going to do nothing to stop her friend from getting herself killed in a stunt she knows Trixie can't pull off WHILE SAID CHARACTER IS OPENLY APOLOGIZING!! Twilight reassures her that Trixie genuinely wants to be Starlight's friend and only then does Starlight use her magic to stop her friend from getting killed, talks to Trixie, accepts her apology and they proceed with the show and while Twilight watches...completely ditching Celestia at a dinner with Derpy, DJ P0N3 and Cranky the Ass that was supposed to be a dinner between her, Twilight, Starlight and Trixie.
     
    Now let's talk about the unfortunate implications they left in this episode. Now I know there a quite a few that made the claim that the scene implied that Trixie was suicidal and was intentionally trying to kill herself with the Manticore trick. While I can see how one can very easily come to this conclusion, I don't think suicidal Trixies was what the writers were going for, but the alternative isn't that good either. Based on her Trixie's dialogue during the performance, the fact that she's performing in front of an audience and the sheer fear she felt heading towards the manticore, I think what the writers were trying to get across was that she felt the show must go on, personal problems or not, and that she'll try on her own anyway and figure it out while she's performing. This unfortunately makes Trixie look like a reckless idiot!!
     
    This is not how the climax should have went and I can easily see how it could have been good. If they had Twilight apologize to Starlight before the show, then have Starlight talk to Trixie with the latter apologizing and THEN have Starlight and Trixie decide to go through with the trick in that order, the episode would have been fine as the episode was solid before that point! Instead DHX rushed it and decided to do all that at once and that led to a clumsy mess with unfortunate implications, probably to keep the episode within a 22 minute time frame.
     
    You know, I'll fully admit that I have lax standards and like episodes that the fandom could consider bad but even I have my limits! And I do hate to see an episode that's spoiled by the ending. This is my problem with the DHX, they handle stories that are too big to handle within a 22 minute time frame and the episode looks rushed because of it. I appreciate that they genuinely want to tell really good stories but if the topic is too big to manage then they shouldn't be making it.
  2. The Coffee Pony
    This is going to be a quick blog post.
     
    So as you've noticed I usually don't do analysis videos Now, I'll be honest, I don't do analysis because I don't feel qualified for it. I went for plumbing as my career choice and didn't take any post-high school courses for english literature. My tastes can even be considered questionable since I can like things that have been considered bad on FiM like the first EQG movie or Tanks for the Memories simply because I thought they were entertaining and still get some entertainment out of it even though I recognize their faults. I also tend to miss some faults, can't see them don't really thing about things unless I really go out to analyze them and even then my reaction to some of the bad episodes I didn't like is "Eh, I didn't like this." But when they REALLY mess up! Then you'll know when you see me ranting and raving on the soapbox!
     
    Although I do sometimes analyze things just for the hell of it and as Qivuit found out on Skype, when I analyze something, I can pick up on some REALLY weird stuff within the work in question. One of the things I've Analyzed is Equestria Girls Canon and here's one of the weird things I've spotted.
     
    Starting off, as we've noticed the human world (Pedestria, Humanville, whatever you call it), while it has parallels to Equestria, it has a great many differences, especially concerning the ages of the characters in Pedestria when compared to that of Equestria. As we all know in Pedestria everyone is either aged down (The Mane 6, Fleur Dis Lis, Photo Finish, Celestia and Luna, etc.) or aged up (The CMC) and here's where I made an interesting observation.
     
    As we all know, Cadence and Shining Armor are the show's canon couple. They met when Twilight was a filly, they were high school sweethearts, had a wedding crashed by changelings, saved Equestria and now have a kid on the way.
     
    Now let's take a look at Shining Armor and Twilight for a second. So I'm going to make the assumption that Twilight was accepted into the school for gifted unicorns when she was a 5-year old filly. Shining Armor was in High School and looking at the yearbook in the comics (yes I count them as B-canon.) it's a good chance that he was 17-18 at the time he started dating Cadence making him 12-13 years older than his sister. Lauren Faust confirmed the Mane 6 are young adults making them around 18-24 years old so that would make Pony Shining Armor and Cadence 31-32 at minimum, 36-37 at maximum, though I'm willing to bet it's somewhere near the minimum.
     
    "Why the heck am I bringing this up if we're talking about their human counterparts?" Hold your ponies and be patient, I'm getting to that! Taking a look at their human counterparts, unlike their Pony counterparts the mane 6 are all the same age ("I'm a year older than you." -Fluttershy) based on the photos of Sunset Shimmer in Celestia's office in CHS, Sunset's been in the human world for 4 years so it's fair to assume that Sunset is 17-18 years old in EqG (physically, I'm going to do an analysis on her actual age another time) which would make the Human Twilight Sparkle the same age. Now, let us take a look at Friendship Games where Shining Armor made his appearance. In EQG: Friendship Games he's an alumnus of Crystal Prep and it stated that he participated in the games four years ago making him 21-22 years old. Four years older than Twilight.
     
    This is an interesting observation because as Shining Armor has been aged down, Cadence has not! Let's think about this, here. While Shining Armor is a 21-22 year old alumnus, Cadence is a dean. A very high up position in school administration. That takes quite a number of years to get to that type of position and if Cadence was the same age as Shining Armor, she'd still be in University. Remember Cadence and Shining Armor are the Canon Couple. So Ladies and Gentlemen with that knowledge in mind, this only means one thing. . .
     


    COUGAR!!!


     

    It also leaves unfortunate implications as to when they started dating. Have fun with that info!
     
    Remember, knowledge may be power but in some cases ignorance is bliss! THANKS HASBRO!!
  4. The Coffee Pony
    Recently I found out that both My Little Pony Friendship is Magic and Transformers Robots in Disguise have been getting showing signs of getting screwed over by both Discovery Family and Cartoon Network respectively so I thought I'd pitch in my two cents on the matter.
     
    It looks like the recent change from the Hub to Discovery Family has not been to kind to My Little Pony Friendship is Magic. While it hasn't been completely screwed over yet, it's been showing warning signs that the network has been messing with it since the fifth season aired. First off the show has very rarely been getting any advertisement on the channel and as I've been noticing that when a new episode airs it doesn't get any advertisement. Instead we've been getting advertisements of the season premier which aired weeks ago and it has been getting passed off as a new episode. This has been happening during every break of the new episode and fans haven't been very amused. Luckily though, the show's ratings have been very healthy so I don't think we have to worry about it getting cancelled. After all, Equestria Girls 3, Season 6 and the big 2017 movie has been announced so I think the show is safe for a while.
     
    Meanwhile my biggest concern is with Transformers: Robots in Disguise. Now, as a lot of you know I am a big Transformers fan so when this show aired I, of course, gave it a watch and of course I enjoyed it. I loved the new ideas the show brought us. Instead of a the usual war between Autobots and Decepticons being led by Optimus Prime and Megatron respectively, (of course as this is a sequel to Transformers Prime we're going to get something different) we get Bumblebee leading his own squad of Autobots hunting down Decepticon fugitives with one of them, Steeljaw, wanting to change Earth into a paradise for rogue Decepticons. Unfortunately it's getting screwed over by Cartoon Network by getting no advertisement and getting put into what's known as the Saturday Morning Death Slot which would be 6:30 AM EST or 5:30 for those suckers who live in the CST time zone, a time where nobody that isn't an insomniac would be awake to watch it.
     
    And the real kicker in all this is that I saw this coming, months before the show even aired. As soon as I read in an article that Robots in Disguise was going to air on Cartoon Network I quite disappointed because I know how Cartoon Network treats its action-based shows. As soon as I read it I knew that the show would be cancelled somewhere down the road because I knew how Cartoon Network treated one of its predecessors Transformers Animated, which was pretty much screwed over in the same fashion.
     
    Other than its premier episodes Transformers Animated barely ever saw any advertising on the network and was also shoved onto the Saturday Morning Death Slot. Fortunately the show did get three seasons but any hopes for the planned fourth season was crushed as it cancelled during a conflict between Hasbro and Walmart over the toylines, which is one of the reasons why I detest how Western Animation is handled in North America.
     
    Luckily afterwards it did seem that Hasbro smartened up as after Animated we got Transformers: Prime, one of the best entries in the franchise, and it along with several of Hasbro's other IPs were put on the Hub, where it enjoyed three full seasons and a movie that ended the show on a high note.
     
    So, when after the treatment of Animated and the success of Prime, when I saw that Hasbro once again let Cartoon Network handle Transformers I couldn't help but say to myself "What the hell are they thinking?" because I knew that the show was going to get this type of treatment. As much as I enjoy the show, I'll be surprised if it gets past its second season.
     
    I despise Cartoon Network not just because of its treatment of Transformers, but its treatment of its action shows as a whole. This is the same network that cancelled Young Justice because women were watching it. It cancelled Sym-bionic Titan for not selling enough toys, never mind the fact that there weren't any toys made for the show to begin with. Green Lantern along with Young Justice were dealt with frequent hiatuses, had their entire block pulled on the very same day their new episodes were supposed to air and then got cancelled after they finally got back on the air. The worst example I have seen by far was their treatment of Beware the Batman. Not even halfway through its first season, it was pulled and replaced to give the abysmal Teen Titans Go another time slot. The show-runner had to go through hoops in order to get it to finish airing, eventually having to resort to putting the episodes on Amazon's UK streaming service in order to do so.
     
    This opened my eyes to something, unless your cartoon is a silly comedy, Cartoon Network will treat it like crap and will come up with the most insane excuses in order to cancel it. I think it's safe to say at this point Cartoon Network is comparable to Fox. Yes, the same Fox that's infamous for cancelling shows that aren't an immediate hit. The same network that screwed over Firefly, Doctor Who and The Crow under bullshit circumstances. The same network that won't give shows the time of the day unless they're either, the Simpsons or a Seth MacFarlane animated show, a sports program, a presidential speech or even their far right-wing corporatist propaganda station thinly veiled as "news". Yes, Cartoon Network has gotten that bad.
     
    Now according to Paul Dini and Kevin Smith in this article here: http://ca.ign.com/ar...lued-over-girls
    the reason for some of these cancellations as I mentioned earlier with Young Justice is that this network holds on to this primitive belief that girls should not enjoy action shows, only boys can. Their excuse is that women don't buy toys, never mind that they could sell them something else. They have also insulted the intelligence of both genders by saying that "women should never portrayed as smarter than the guys, they should always be a step behind" and that they should always have that "goofy boy humor" once again proving Gene Roddenberry right, as he has been before during his struggles with the Network over Star Trek, that network executives are complete idiots who are out of touch with their audience, have no clue what the audience likes and think themselves superior.
  5. The Coffee Pony
    Didn't see this one coming did you?
     
    Alright so I think plenty of people who know me by now, know how I feel about Equestria Girls. To those who don't, I love both movies! I know there are plenty of people who dislike them, especially the first one and can probably come up with a laundry list of reasons as to why they think it's bad and why it shouldn't exist but to hell with that I thought they were quite a bit of fun and I'm sticking to that opinion! I'm not going to change my thoughts to conform to someone else's view of the movies.
     
    Now that you know about my views about that you're probably wondering what my views towards the Equestria Girls Holiday Special are. It's absolute crap! And before anyone asks, no, this is not because it was written by Mr. "Oh Cyberbullying is terrible (which I agree with) now excuse me while I support someone who advocates hatred and violence towards men and bronies". I'm judging this comic based on it's own merits.
     
    Keep in mind, I'm one of the most laid back people in this fandom, I can enjoy most of the episodes this fandom hates with the exception of four.
    1. Mysterious Mare Do Well
    2. A Friend in Deed
    3. Spike at your Service
    4. Daring Don't
    So for me to dislike an MLP story you have to have screwed up pretty bad and I'll go into great detail about that.
     
    Alight so our story begins with Applejack and Sunset talking about the Holidays and how Sunset doesn't have anyone to celebrate with because, you know, she's basically an alien on this world. Applejack hoping to remedy this has a secret meeting with the rest of humane 6 (hurr hurr, bad pun) and hopes to remedy Sunset's loneliness with a series of slumber parties and so they start this off at Pinkie's house. Where we learn that Rainbow Dash is a gamer (why does this make absolute perfect sense?) and that Fluttershy has wonton gamer rage issues (okay, that's a surprise) and they have 16 Pizzas. A bit excessive for 6 people don't you think Pinkie?! Are you expecting the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to pop by! (Note: I would totally go and see an MLP/TMNT crossover! IDW has the licenses for both franchises! MAKE IT!!)
     
    After that they have this moment where they tell us about how great it is to have friends. Aww, it's so sweet I'm getting diabetes reading it. You know, Writer, the series is called "Friendship is Magic", yeah usually it's following a different version of these characters and Twilight but we really do not need to be told about how great it is to have friends, we can already see why by watching the show and reading the other comics. A phone call from Applebloom then interrupts their little moment and tells Applejack that Granny Smith wanted to know if she's okay, Applejack tells her that of course she's fine and Applebloom hangs up calling her "Piggly Wiggly", prompting Sunset to ask about it. So Applejack then proceeds to tell everyone that she got that nickname when she was little because she once jumped in the pigpen and played with the pigs on their farm and that Applebloom likes to use that nickname to tease her when she thinks AJ's getting too big for her britches. However this must have been one of those days where Applebloom just felt like being a jackass because she really didn't have any reason to use that nickname. When everyone's all good and asleep Sunset takes out that magic book from Rainbow Rocks and sends Twilight a friendship report.
     
    The next day Applejack is greeted to a bunch of other students calling her by her nickname. Applebloom then proceeds to tell Applejack that her someone called "Anon-A-Miss" (Oh how clever ) has been spreading her nickname and the story behind it on MyStable and when Applejack starts wondering who could have done such a thing Applebloom immediately tries to pin it on Sunset because Anon-A-Miss uses the same color-scheme and Sunset just heard the story yesterday. Way to give yourself away there Applebloom. How did you even know that AJ gave Sunset an explanation about that nickname?
     
    The rest of AJ's friends find out and Sunset tells her that if there's anything they can do, she always has someone to talk to. Then it's on to slumber party #2, hosted by Rarity where we see Sweetie Belle telling Rarity and Fluttershy about what she's been up to. As soon as everyone arrives Rarity kicks Sweetie Belle out, much to Sweetie's dismay and the party begins. Pinkie Pie after some Karaoke breaks Rarity's closet, something she's done several times before apparently, and they find all the clothes that Rarity either bought or made that turned out horrible. So everyone decides to try them all on and Sunset takes pictures. So same night as before, Sunset writes a Friendship report and goes to sleep.
     
    When she wakes up the next day, things go to hell in a hand-basket when she gets met with hostility from her friends. As it turns out Anon-A-Miss put photos of them wearing the awful clothes on MyStable, the exact picture's that were taken by Sunset. So they see her as guilty, don't hear her out, reduce Sunset to tears, declare that she's not their friend and leave her for the wolves. You know, girls, I know this evidence is convincing and all but one problem with this. When you look at Anon's page you'll see that there are photo's of Sunset on there as well which would also make Sunset a prime target for teasing. Plus, this is also the same Sunset that helped save everyone from a bunch of evil Sirens! You have the right to be suspicious but for now I'd say that it's a little to soon to be throwing accusations. I really feel bad for Sunset, here. I can't exactly find an image for it but to sum it up, to see Sunset cry is like looking at a kicked puppy, it's a very sad sight.
     
    As the days go by things are getting worse for everybody. Anon-A-Miss has decided to spill everybody's secrets in the school ruining friendships and relationships, everybody in the school's arguing with each other, the teasing is getting is getting worse for the Humane 5 (god I hate using that term) and Sunset is really lonely and people are taking their wrath out on her as they see her as Anon-A-Miss. Sunset is reduced to tears again and tries to find out who's behind this, accusing Trixie who says she's not Anon-A-Miss but admires her and would like to congratulate her for what she's doing. ...and Trixie has a huge following, why? Anyway Sunset goes home, has a talk with Twilight and they call the humans worse than Windigos. (Why doesn't Sunset go home then?)
     
    The next day Sunset goes to Sugarcube Corner to meet her friends who still treat her with hostility and she shows them the magic book to help try and convince them that she's not Anon-A-Miss and that she's worked out who she is. Then the Cutie Mark Crusaders enter and confess that they did it.
     
    And now we come to the part that convinced me that this comic needed to face my wrath! After they are confronted as to why they humiliate them, they proceed to go and blame Sunset for their actions! They did it because they were so jealous that the humane 5 were spending so much time with Sunset that they decided to humiliate them online. Applebloom made the page and put up the Piggly Wiggly story, Sweetie Belle stole Sunset's phone and Scootaloo went along with everything because reasons, she didn't even get a speaking role in this comic so we don't really get a reason why she went a long with everything! We don't even get a reason why they decided to humiliate everyone else in the school! What did they do to piss them off? It's like the writer decided to take Ponyville Confidential and make a crappy spin on it. At least in Ponyville Confidential the crusaders had a reason, they were getting blackmailed so they had to go along with it. In this story they are just doing this out of petty spite.
     
    So, what happens after all this? They're instantly forgiven. They apologize to everyone and get six months detention and everything's all well good. Despite what they've done, the Humane 6 let the Crusaders hang out with them and it's a happy ending.
     
    ...I'm sorry, NO! Just no! I can't get behind this ending. It's not that easy to just forgive someone for public humiliation and then accept them into your circle of friends! I'm honestly shocked that they did that. So let me get this straight, so the human mane 6 will reduce declare Sunset guilty let the Crusaders off scott-free! No, I really don't think the crusaders should have been let off as easy as they did. That's a trust-breaker. Sure they should be forgiven eventually but that takes time and they need to earn that trust back. And I really don't like how the crusaders decided to shift the blame on Sunset! What message are they trying to give out here? If someone's not giving you enough attention, bully and guilt-trip them into doing so? That's a terrible message to hand out! So congrats, Writer-That-I-Shall-Not-Name, you actually managed to make something related to Equestria Girls that I dislike besides that creepy promotional art.

    Terrifying! At least the art this comic was nice!
     
    Grade: D-
  6. The Coffee Pony
    After eight months of waiting The first episode of Doctor Who Series 8 called "Deep Breath" which is also the Twelfth Doctor's (Peter Capaldi's first episode). BBC and Stephen Moffat have hyping the new Doctor and this series up for months and it really hasn't paid off in this episode. In fact I am astounded by the lack of care was put into this story. It was an outright mess.
     
    The Episode
     
    The Doctor, who's dealing with post regeneration trauma, and Clara land in 19th century London and bring a T-Rex with them. When they land they meet Madame Vastra, Jenny and Strax and they help get the Doctor to rest. While the Doctor's resting, Clara spends her time complaining about the Doctor's new change, Vastra calls her out on being shallow all while flirting with her, Jenny's not pleased with her wife's behavior and Strax is up to his usual funny antics.
     
    The T-Rex is just doing...nothing. It's just roaming around confused all while the people are either gawking at it or moving along with their day. You'd think the T-Rex would be on a feeding frenzy but nope, it's just wandering around London. A man is off to the pub, writes the Dinosaur off as fake and then our villain appears and plucks his eyes out off screen. The Doctor wakes up, promises the T-Rex he'll get it home and then the T-Rex spontaneously combusts and the Doctor escapes and goes to investigate. Clara continues to complain, Vastra is then discovers that people have been combusting and is on the case while she has Jenny pose for no reason (much to Jenny's displeasure as she thought Vastra was painting her, poor girl) then tells Clara to take her clothes off when she enters the room (again Jenny takes offense) and Strax does his usual thing and knocks Clara out with a newspaper. Meanwhile with the Doctor, he's scaring a hobo with his post-regeneration trauma and finds a paper on the combusting people and then goes on the case, which he already was on. Nothing really important happened in that scene.
     
    Clara who's only ever been complaining throughout the episode, not listening to the criticism heading her way and not caring at all about the spontaneous combustion case, goes to look for the Doctor and sees an ad in the newspaper about "The impossible girl" and an ad about a restaurant and sees it as message. She arrives at the restaurant, sees the Doctor and begins to argue with him while he’s more focused on this case. During the argument they discover that neither of them sent the ad and find out that everyone at the restaurant is an android and they won’t let our heroes leave. They get sent to the basement of the restaurant to find out that it’s an alien spaceship full of androids and that these androids have been repairing themselves with human parts. No explanation was given on how this even works given that androids are machines they are just somehow compatible with human remains.
     
    After the lead android wakes up the Doctor goes through a door which closes leaving Clara with the android, she then holds her breath and does blink which tricks the androids into thinking into one of them. (You’d think these machines would be able to tell human for android) So she tries to escape but ends up going into a room with more androids and then passes out from being unable to hold her breath. When she wakes up the leader of the androids interrogates her and threatens to kill her if she doesn’t tell him where the Doctor is. She then tells the androids to go ahead and kill her but they won’t get the information they need. Clara gives the androids an interrogation of her own and finds out they crash landed here a long time ago (how long is not specified) and they’ve been repairing themselves and the ship by harvesting organs, The androids then go to torture her for not giving her information and the Doctor appears and rescues her.
     
    The lead android then goes to the top floor and the Doctor follows it and then Vastra, Jenny and Strax appear to help Clara to fend off against a hoard of androids. The Doctor then talks to the lead android and finds out that the android’s plan is to go to a “promised land” (no elaboration on how) and then the ship takes off in a balloon made of human skin. Yes that is just as ridiculous as it sounds. The Doctor then tries to reason with it, saying that there is no promised land and that android’s mind has been affected by the human remains it’s been repairing itself with which makes no sense considering that it’s a MACHINE’S MIND!! Clara, Vastra, Strax and Jenny have been having a difficult time fighting these androids and decide to trick them by holding their breath. Meanwhile the Doctor finds that there’s no reasoning with the android and will have to kill him as it will shut down the other androids. We then go back to Clara and the others who eventually have to stop holding their breath and the and the androids shut down as the lead android was killed off-screen.
     
    The Doctor and Clara leave 19th Century London and go back to modern day London. Clara decides that she can’t travel with the Doctor as she doesn’t know him anymore but then gets stopped by a phone call from the Eleventh Doctor from the past. Eleven talks her into staying with Twelve and they go on their merry way to get some chips. Meanwhile, we see another scene with the android, who wakes up in “the promised land” and he meets this mysterious woman who knows the Doctor and has plans for him. That’s where our episode ends.
     
    So what are my thoughts on it?
     
    NEGATIVES
     
    - That T-Rex running around in 19th Century London. You know if a T-Rex is running around in London you'd expect it to be like the Lost World Jurassic Park or Invasion of the Dinosaurs (another Doctor Who episode) where there's chaos, people are running for their lives, looting and trying to avoid getting eaten, the T-Rex is on a rampage eating people and the army is out to destroy it and let's face it, that would happen as people tend to panic whenever there's a bear or cougar running around in the area. However the people of 18th Century London don't even seem to be phased by the fact that there's giant flipping dinosaur running around! They just stare at it for a bit and are all "Oh look it's a dinosaur. That's nice, I'm off to the pub." and move along with their day. Someone even called it a fake? HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU KNOW GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO SCARE PEOPLE BY MAKING A GIANT DINOSAUR!?!? Then to top it off it was just killed off by spontaneous combustion and latter hand waved by the antagonists saying it had parts that were useful despite giving no evidence that they made use of it. The inclusion of the T-Rex was entirely pointless.
     
    -There was little to no back-story behind these androids at all, no indication of where they come or anything. All we know about them is that they're really old, they've been repairing themselves using human parts and that they are stupid enough to be tricked by someone holding their breath. We didn't know what their plan was, all we got out of them was that they wanted to reach "the promised land". They elaborate on how they just wanted to reach it. This android plot was a complete afterthought. Who even put that ad on the newspaper anyway? The Doctor didn't. Clara didn't and the android didn't so who did then?
     
    - CLARA OSWALD SUCKS AS A COMPANION AND A FRIEND!! I never liked Clara to begin with, throughout the entirety of Series 7 she hasn't even a character, just a puzzle for the Doctor to solve. All they did with her was play her up as the "speshulest snowflaek that ever flaeked" by erasing records of the Doctor from history, separating into a thousand different Claras and getting involved with the Doctor's history to the point where she told the First Doctor which TARDIS to take. I really didn't like that at all. But hey this is a new season, we're past all the "Who's that impossible girl?" crap so surely they'll give her an actual character, right? Well this episode did and it has solidified my dislike for her. We found out that she's only been with the Doctor because he is a pretty face despite her insistence on the contrary. Throughout the entire episode she didn't even give a damn about the situation at hand, all she did was bitch and moan about how the Doctor is different and how he looks old. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I am glad that Madam Vastra called her out on being shallow, because really that's what she is, a shallow...well I'm trying to avoid using vulgar language but I will say that there's a four letter word that starts with a 'c' that perfectly describes her! She's seen the Doctor's past incarnations she should know by now that he can regenerate into an old man. The Third Doctor is a prime example! He saved her life and she was willing to ditch him simply because he looked different and that she "doesn't know him anymore?" What does she mean exactly? Yeah, he may act different and look different but he's still the Doctor, other companions knew this and she should know this considering that she went through his bloody time stream! She didn’t even adjust to him, she’s only sticking around with him because Eleven told her to. If wasn’t for Eleven’s phone call from the past she would have ditched him without a second thought. That is not the actions of a true friend. At least the past companions while they were uncomfortable with the change, adjusted to it eventually by themselves and some even went to help the Doctor through his regeneration crisis! Even Peri tried to help the Doctor out despite the fact that he strangled her! If this were any other Doctor we would have gotten one of two responses. The Doctor would have let them go and say "Go ahead and leave, If this is how you're going to act then I don't need you." (One, Two, Four, Six, Seven and Nine) or "I'll respect your decision but I would like it if you gave me a chance. I'm still the Doctor." (Three, Five, Eight and Ten). Instead Eleven begs for her to stay with him, how does she have this much power over the Doctor!? Twelve must have the patience of a saint, I feel bad for him. Honestly for me, Clara is the worst companion in Doctor Who history! She makes Adric look more likable in comparison, she's that bad!
     
    - When you see a regeneration story you expect to see The Doctor trying to deal with the situation at hand while dealing with post-regeneration trauma and his companions adjusting. Instead most of focus of this episode went towards Clara bitching about the Doctor regenerating into an old man. Really, Moffat? This is where most of the focus of this episode went? The act with the T-Rex was pointless and Android plot was a complete afterthought! Before anyone brings up 'The Christmas Invasion' at least that one wasn't entirely focused on Rose complaining about the Doctor, the story was balanced out. While Rose did complain about the new Doctor, Davies built up the invasion of the Sycorax fairly well with an excellent pay off and he even handled Ten's regeneration crisis rather well! When Ten was up and ready for action he made an instant impression, he let you know what kind of Doctor he is and he showed what he can do. In this story I can't even form an opinion on the Twelve, he was reduced to a minor role in his own regeneration story. We got three scenes of him going through post regeneration trauma and the final act. His third scene where he jumps into figuring out what the situation felt very forced and the final act was focused more on Clara than on Twelve handling the situation. We saw him disappear for a bit and him telling the lead android that there is no promised land that was it! The closing scene I think I pretty much covered. It was more about Eleven convincing Clara with Twelve than Twelve convincing Clara to give him a chance.
     
    - As for Madam Vastra, Jenny and Strax I have to say that Moffat is really starting to reduce the role of these characters to the point that they're being wasted on the show. They were just in this episode for comic relief, they really weren't essential to the plot at all. When they were introduced these I was amazed that the Doctor managed to get the Silurians and even a Sontaran on his side, and the fact that a Silurian, a species that used to hate humans with a passion managed to befriend and even get into a relationship with a human was amazing. I was also amazed to see a Sontaran fight alongside humans and while he was funny due to his Sontaran nature he was also a badass who was loyal to his friends. Since their first appearance however Moffat hasn't given these characters any room to evolve. Strax's funny antics have been starting to get old and predictible though I did find it hilarious when Strax knocked out Clara with a newspaper. As for Vastra and Jenny they seemed to be only used for the sake of lesbian jokes. Why is it that no-one in the west can write a proper LGBT relationship!? I've noticed whenever somebody brings an LGBT character into a television show in the west, their role is reduced to being a gay stereotype, the butt of jokes or just their so that the creators can say "Oh look at us, we put in a gay couple look at how diverse we are." This is one of my problems with the Russel T Davies era of Doctor Who, it was obnoxious about introducing gay characters in almost every single episode that had relationships or a reveal that they were gay that wasn't even essential to the plot or expanded upon. It was just Davies going "Oh look at this, I'm adding gay characters in the show, aren't I diverse" without giving us a reason to care for these characters or their relationship. When Vastra and Jenny were introduced, it was a different story, the relationship was interesting and the show gave you a reason to care about these characters, we got to see how much they cared for eachother, the relationship felt genuine, it was beautiful! Now they're just here for the sake of obnoxious lesbian jokes? It's really saddening to see what Moffat has reduced these characters to. Yeah they were in the Final Battle but they really didn't do much.
     
    POSITIVES
     
    + The acting was fine. Granted the actors really had nothing to work with, Jenna Coleman put in her all and I honestly sorry for her as so far her time on Doctor Who has been rather wasted the whole way through, I wish I had something positive to say about her character but really there isn't anything good to say about Clara Oswald other than "Her voice actress is good". She's thankfully leaving at the end of this season (Welp, looks like 11's phone call was wasted after all.) so I really hope that whatever moves on to makes better use of her talents. As for Peter Capaldi, while we saw very little of him, gave a good performance. I can't give a proper opinion on his Doctor though as he was shoved to the side for most of the episode but hey next episode hopefully he'll make a good impression. He performed well so far so I have confidence that he'll settle into the role well.
     
    That, sadly is the only positive I really have for this episode. The story was over the top and all over the place and was a major let-down. Moffat, when you introduce a new Doctor the show needs focus on who this new Doctor is and to show how the companion adjusts, whilst dealing with the situation at hand. I'm a person who has seen every single episode of Doctor Who, both classic and modern and by far this has been the WORST episode of Doctor Who I've ever seen and that is not a phrase that I toss around casually. When it comes to Doctor Who I've only applied this one other episode! Yeah, I'm going there, this episode is WORSE than 'The Twin Dilemma'! The same episode that's infamous this:
     

     
    At least The Twin Dilemma had a proper story. It wasn't a very good one but at least it was straight forward and wasn't all over the place!
     
    Anyway, The next episode is a Dalek episode so hopefully Moffat will give the Twelfth Doctor a proper introduction as well as make the Daleks intimidating again but so far I'm really not liking the way things are going. Also I hope that woman at the end is the Rani. I've been wanting for the Rani to make an appearance in Modern Doctor Who, especially now that the Time Lords are established to still be alive.
     

    Grade: F


  8. The Coffee Pony

    I'm Bailing

    By The Coffee Pony,

    I'm out of this place.
     
    After finding out about all the shady stuff behind the scenes I can't say I'm too comfortable staying. I can not support a place run by people who are of very questionable character, especially if they are going to make false accusations as serious as the ones they made.
     
    I don't regret my time here. This forum was a good pair of pants but now it's so full of holes that it's just embarrassing to look at now. It's time to move on.
     
    For those who want to keep in contact my steam and skype are on my profile but I'll put em here.
     
    Steam: the_coffee_man
    Discord: #0609
    Skype: theamazingcoffeeman
     
    See ya around
     
    -The Coffee Man
  9. The Coffee Pony
    Now we're delving into the really confusing stuff!
     
    So I'm pretty sure that anyone who's been watching Equestria Girls has looked at the timeline its given and has been utterly confused by how it works. From the look of things it doesn't make any sense. Sunset Shimmer was Celestia's Student before Twilight Sparkle and fled through the mirror after she became too ambitious and has been gone for a long time. The odd thing is when you listen to Princess Celestia's story in Equestria Girls, look at Sunset's backstory in the comic and then look at the Human world, things just don't seem to match up, leaving many FiM fans stumped.
     
    Well hold on to your seats folks because I have an explanation for this! You also might want to get an ice pack or bag of Frozen peas as explanations on time/dimensional travel tend to give people massive headaches.
     
    As I've mentioned the timeline in Equestria and the Timeline in Pedestria doesn't match. If you look at Sunset Shimmer's back story in the comics and listen to Celestia's story, Sunset Shimmer was Princess Celestia's student before Twilight Sparkle was. She was being groomed to be an Alicorn princess much like Twilight was as the comics have left plenty of hints.
    In the Fiendship is Magic: King Sombra issue it was explained by Radiant Hope, when she got the letter calling for her to come to Canterlot so she could be a personal student to one the Princesses, that a Princess only takes on a student if they have to potential to be a princess. This was one of the triggers that sent Sombra down the path he took and may be one of the reasons this became a secret 1000 years in the future. In the "Fall of Sunset Shimmer" Origin Comic when Sunset Shimmer looked into the mirror and Celestia asked what she saw, Sunset saw herself as an Alicorn Princess (Similar to her Friendship Games appearance) and said in her own words she sees somepony powerful enough to rule Equestria. And when Sunset Shimmer demanded that Celestia make a princess, Celestia said in her own words "No, being a Princess must be earned...I have been trying teaching you everything you need to know, but you've turned from it. Every time you say you "deserve" something without the effort just proves to me that you're not ready." There's also the possibility that she was being groomed to be a potential Element of Magic as Celestia has also been trying to hint that Sunset should make some friends as she's been trying to tell Sunset how valuable Friendship is.

    However as we all know Celestia's plans fell through and Sunset fled through the mirror. The same comic also pinpoints the time she left as when you look in the background you will see a filly Twilight Sparkle being babysit by Cadence who was 17-18 at the time according to the Neigh Anything comic where it indicated that Cadence and Shining Armor where High School seniors. And when you look at Sunset Shimmer you can also see that she's the same age as Cadence as she has the appearance of a young adult mare and is still attending the School for Gifted Unicorns.
     

    Now this is where we get into the wibbly wobbly, timey wimey stuff. As many fans have noticed the time frame doesn't match up as in the human world, judging by the photos in Principal Celesta's office at CHS, Sunset has been in the Human World for a total of four years but in Equestria many more have passed.
     
    Let's take a look at Twilight Sparkle for a second. When Sunset left, Twilight was a filly at the Age 5, maybe even 4 as the comic indicates that Sunset left a few days after she passed her midterm, being babysat by a 17-18 year old Cadence. Fast Forward to the events of Friendship is Magic where Twilight Sparkle was sent to Ponyville as a young adult, this would put Twilight around the age of 18-24 years of age however I assume it's somewhere around the minimum. This means that while time passed in four years in the human world, time passed in Equestria at a minimum of 13 years (3 years and 3 months in Equestria per year in Pedestria) or a maximum of 19 years (4 years, 9 months Equestria per Pedestrian Year). At this point it's fair to make the conclusion that time isn't synced between the two worlds.
     
    Now going back to Sunset. As we all know, the Humans are either aged up or aged down in comparison to their Equestrian counterparts and the Mirror also has that effect on those who use it. While Sunset did leave Equestria as an 17-18 year old mare the mirror aged her down to a Human with the physical age of 14 years when she entered the Human World. As of EQG: FG she has now has the physical age of 17-18 Year Old human. But that's not all, the mirror also seems to have the effect of freezing a pony's physical age in Equestria as Sunset has returned to Equestria in Equestria Girls and it looks like she hasn't aged a bit.
     
    With that said, while she may still have the appearance and physical age of a young adult mare officially in Equestria is a total of 30-31 years old minimum, 36-37 years maximum. That's just going by the time that's passed in since she was born in Equestria. Her actual age is 21-22 years old (17-18 years of life in Equestria, 4 years of life in the human world)
     
    In other words, she's going to need some new ID because that's not going to fly!
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