Derplight Sperkle

This app looks good to me. If I disapproved this, I may need to have a vacation couch on the moon

Second approval granted.

@Cosmic Breeze

The database is still being worked on. But your character is fine as is.

@Cosmic Breeze

We are still rebuilding the site. It may take some time for the character bios to return to normal.

Alrighty,

I've reviewed everything, and Peony has all the issues I've asked for is covered. Just one nitpick, "Rarity in person" in your backstory will need to be changed to "in pony".

But, I won't hold such a small detail away from your first approval. Have it changed before the second and you should be good to go.

First approval given.

Hello Nightmare Season,

After reviewing Peony, I see some problems with the app.

One would be your personality section. The last sentences on paragraphs two and three sounds fitting in the Likes/Dislikes section than in personality. The last paragraph is also unnecessary, it sounds more just like a list of already stated likes/dislikes. 

Second would be the spell that Peony uses to keep flowers alive longer. It's stated that she already used the spell before she researched it when Peony discovered her special talent. It doesn't make sense. Why did she need to research the spell later on if she already knew it?

Lastly, your other section. The magic telepathic flower comes out of nowhere. This sort of information is explored in the backstory, seeing how this is such an important detail. I'm sure this flower has played a significant part of Peony's life.

The spell you mentioned that styles Peony's mane and tail is already assumed telekinesis. It doesn't really need mentioning.

Fix these issues I have stated and you can get closer to that first approval.

Thanks!

Everything looks to be in order. 

The most important first approval is yours!

Hello Cosmic Breeze!

Welcome to the Forums! I'm sure I'm not the first to welcome you to our lovely little (if you consider 35k small) community. I also thank you for your interest in Equestrian Empire. With the formalities out of the way....

Overall, this is very solid. I just have a couple nitpicks. The personality section could get some better spacing between paragraphs. And lastly in the final paragraph from the last mentioned section, you mention that Cosmic enjoys playing video games at home. We haven't seen the use of video games at home in canon, just at arcades. That will need to be fixed.

Otherwise, as I have stated, Cosmic is almost ready to get my first approval.

Thanks!

Looks like everything seems to be in order. I'm giving you the first approval

Just a note, when you have a better pic, just give me a PM and we can work on getting it replaced.

Hello ProbablyNotLyra!

Welcome to the forums! It is great to see you apply to enter our famed Equestrian Empire (don't quote me on this ). So on to the review...

First things first, you will need a picture of Mirage. We don't expect the most awesomest commission or drawing, a simple Griffin Creator image will suffice (it exists).

The likes and dislikes section will need some work. A lot of them are unexplained from where they come from. Like how does Mirage like or even know of Princess Luna? Why does he dislike snooty ponies? These are just some questions. Of course you don't have to explain things like his favorite food, that's fine. Others can be explained through either the personality or backstory section. Speaking of...

Your backstory is too short. It needs to be three detailed paragraphs. Also in the last sentence you are mssing the necessary "animals" after dangerous. And your other section is only used for extra details, you don't need what is in there. It's fine to leave empty.

Mirage is on his way to entering EqE. Just address these issues and I can put forward the coveted first approval.

All the fixes I noted above are all fixed. I see no point in prolonging this further...

So off to get that second approval!

All the changes I stated earlier are fixed.

Thanks for fixing them, now the coveted first approval will be given to you! 

Hello Glacies,

I have to give you a bravo on your OC. It is well above the requirements we in EQE have established. There are just a few nitpicks that need fixing/explaining before I can give my approval.

• The statement "His humor is rather dry, witty, and sarcastic" on the third paragraph in personality is redundant. You already established his humor in the first paragraph. It also doesn't fit in with the rest of the contents of the paragraph.
• His like for pony watching isn't connected to either his personality or backstory. Why does he like to pony watch? A small comment in his personality may help.
• The dislike of ponies making bad choices within earshot is also not really mentioned anywhere else. Why does he mentally facehoof when hearing this? Has somepony done this to him in the past?
• And lastly, the "some other minor irritations" in the dislikes section isn't necessary. It's too general to have.

Overall, everything else seems to be in order. Again, great job!

Hey NightTerror!

I gave this OC a good read and it looks like you put a lot of thought and effort into this. And it shows. There are some minor fixes that are needed before I can give my first approval.

• First paragraph on personality has a small mispelled word. Burried should be buried.
• What is Legends of Equestria? I'm just wondering what this is in relation to show canon.
• According to our stated lore, batponies need some artifact to imbue them the appearance of one. Simple fix to this would to have the silver the molar is using come from some worn artifact that was in Midnight's possession beforehand. You can still keep the fact the silver was touched by Nightmare Moon's eclipse.

Also you need a picture for him I know that is coming soon. So fix these tiny problems and upload that pic for my approval.

I will give you mercy =P

It all was just so well written and chaotic. I will give ya the first approval!

This was definitely a fun read. Just a few things to add and fix and it can be added to the cast characters.

There were a couple places where there was a lack of space between words. Mostly where an italic word and normal formatted word met.

And lastly it needs be to updated to current status of the show. Especially with the latest season finale being a big moment for Discord.

Otherwise, great and entertaining read!

I see no further issues that need refining.

I'm giving Alto her first approval.

Hey Yoshi,

Overall you got a good application here. I just have one teeny tiny nitpick with Alto.

In her dislikes section, you mention she hates ponies who try to weasel out of things. Where does this dislike come from? It kinda just comes out of the blue, maybe a small tale of how this dislike came to be?

Otherwise, she looks great!

Everything looks great! I'm giving Soft Star her first approval. 

Looking over the character, it does look good overall. It has some issues though.

• The half pegasus/half batpony does not go well with the lore we brought in. A good adjustment would be to have Soft Star inherit some artifact from her father. Batponies are a product of being near or brought up with an artifact of some sort that gives them their appearance. 
• I would recommend putting the part in your other section about Cirrus in your backstory instead. It fits better there.

Make these minor changes and you will be on your way to approval.