LostButterflyUtau

Well, here's my newest one.

Oh wow. Well your outfit looks amazing and you looked amazing ^.^

Thank you SOOOOOO much! I'm glad to hear it, because I worried that the outfit wasn't well-made enough and that I wasn't pretty or thin enough to cosplay in the first place. There were SO many good-looking, HOT chicks there. I felt out of place. And I know I didn't look that good. Went to a convention full of pony-loving men and didn't come out of it with even a phone number. It was kind of sad.

I'm glad you had fun cosplaying her ^.^ How long did it take you and your friend to make your outfit? 

We did it in pieces over a few months, because coordinating our schedules was hard, we both work and I was in school last semester. I know the skirt was made in a few hours, as were the boot tops. Painting the boots took probably about two weeks if you eliminate the days I was at work and not crafting. I was very, VERY picky about it and needed it to be complete and even. Plus, the bottom part and heels had to be hand-painted. This required me to use a pallet and carefully spray the paint onto it and paint in increments because floral crafting paint dries very quickly.

All together, it probably wasn't a long time. A few weeks to a month maybe if you add it all up. We just ended up spreading it out due to life and because I had to keep saving up money for various pieces. I mean, the wig was $40.

Personally I think she's very attractive, and partly the reason why she's best pony in my opinion. Her design is just amazing. XD

*Points Up* THIS. ALL OF THIS.

You look amazing! Eventually I'd love to cosplay as Rarity. 

Thank you, Darling! You should! It was a lot of fun for me and...You get to be fabulous!

You carried yourself in the pics like you have experience. That says a lot. 

Thank you, Darling! It's actually not my first time cosplaying, but it was my first time making my outfit. Well, kind of. My friend made the skirt and boot tops, I put the applique on the skirt, painted my boots and belt, bought the shirt, did the hairclip and wig styling. I also dug up more photos on the interwebz.

The people liked me!

(Credit for both: http://gamerspax.deviantart.com/)

(I believe this was one the BronyCon Facebook. I'm also aware this isn't the best shot in the world, but, ugh. My body.)

(https://derpibooru.org/1198832?scope=scpebefc9781fc2bc5d4be0f024f71908de14e2621dc)

I'm still waiting for people to post about the fashion show! I had a lot of fun doing that and liked to think I worked it well. Being Rarity was amazing. I was fabulous. I knew I was fabulous and other people did too!

Because of things went all wonky I couldnt attend. But ... I CAME THIS CLOSE TO ACTUALLY MEETING AN RFC MEMBER?

 

I NEED A DRAMA COUCH!

 

Your cosplay was excellent!

I'm sorry to hear you couldn't go. But yes, yes you did. And you probably would have been one of the first to find me. XD

Thanks for the compliment, Darling! I think it was great for a first attempt at making it (with help.) But I did worry and thought that maybe I wasn't tall/skinny/hot enough to even be a cosplayer. Because there were some HOT girls there who looked ten times better than I will ever.

ooooooooohhhhhhhh your cosplay is so lovely =)=)=)=)=) beautiful and so pretty =)=) just like Rarity =)=)=) magnificent job my friend =)=)=)=) 

Thank you, Darling! My friend and I put it together! She made the skirt and boot tops and I painted the boots, belt and did the hair clip and bought the shirt. I actually didn't see any other EQG Rarity cosplayers, but I was told there were a few floating around. I don't have pictures from it, but I did the fashion show too and it was lovely! Except for the part where I couldn't see.

:D Great cosplay! I bet it was fun to Rari-tee-it-up *hears the groans* ...what? 

I LOVED being Rarity. I'm terribly shy in real life and feel awful about myself alot, but being Rarity for three days has helped. I was fabulous! I KNEW I was fabulous! And plenty of other people did too!

SO...BRONY CON WAS GREAT!

A lot of people LOVED me! Best comment? "You're SO CUTE! I LOVE your outfit! CAN I ADOPT YOU?!"

(Photo Credit: rj_para on Instagram)

LINECON!

At the Gala!

I found a Sweetie Belle! (Though I didn't get her name.)

And...I met Tabitha! She was SOOOO sweet and said I was "Adorable!" This is the only good picture though. I only had my mobile and people DO NOT know how to iPhone 4.

I got two prints signed, but I don't have a photo of them yet.

And then there's this casual shot.

Yes. Those are my glasses. I need them to see and had to take them off for every photo. Can't afford contacts yet. Some people really liked them though and actually wanted me to keep them on!!

I've had a thing for Setsuna Meioh/Sailor Pluto since I was twelve and Crystal has only made it grow. God, this woman...

Aside from being sexy as hell, I've always loved her layered personality and how, because of her role, she has to appear stoic and cold, but she's such a sweetheart. She loves Chibi-Usa  dearly and takes great care of her, oh...And Diana too!

Speaking of Sailor Moon Crystal, they really stepped it up in series three. And I thought Michiru slayed in the 90s anime...

Lastly, there's Yuri Tsukikage/Cure Moonlight from Heartcatch PreCure! She's just SO freakin' gorgeous.

I really, really like the song "Forget" by Marina and the Diamonds, it reminds me so much of Akito from Fruits Basket (mah baby!) and overall just has a really cool message about owning up your mistakes and stepping up to fix them. That sometimes you have to just forgive, forget and move on.

So...I'm taking an early education class. And I did a Rarity project! I know, I know it's not super, super fancy or anything, but I'm just not a crafter...I did get full points though!

Hoping to go to BronyCon with some friends! I'm trying to save up the money for the pass and get my Rarity EQG outfit finished. I'm rather nervous though, since I know my cosplay isn't going to be half as good as everyone else's.

What is it with people who said no, ESPECIALLY the one who created the post. No offense, but you're taking the whole children thing too negatively. Do you have children? If no, then why talk so negatively about them? I don't have children, but I wouldn't talk negatively about them. Why not just have a kid, experience parenthood, because there are those who are willing to have a child and become a parent any day, even if they can't. If you truely don't want children, then why bring up the topic? You already made up your mind. But, it pisses me off to know that this topic even exists, and it's actually being talked about it. If you already know what your mind is, then don't worry about what others think of, because it doesn't matter. I hope this reply will get you thinking, because HELL YES, I wouldn't give to be a parent, but I'm still a virgin, so parenthood will have to wait. Sorry, if this makes you feel offended in any way, this was not supposed to, I just been having the pissiest week of my life, and I feel that this tops the cake, so thank you for hearing what I have to say. This is RootedWisdom, telling you that being a parent isn't all that bad, is that people are misunderstood about how a child would affect your life.

Personally, I do not think it is right for you or anyone else to say that people should just have kids because others can't. It pisses you off that this topics exist and it pisses me off that people consistently use that as an argument against the people who don't want kids, ESEPCIALLY the women. No, I do not think it's right that there are people who want children and would be amazing parents who just can't have any or that there are people who have no business raising a child and yet, are raising one. But, unfortunately, that's just how the world works. And frankly, I feel it's really stupid to say that people should just have a kid because others can't. Explain to me how that is solving anyone's issue? Because the people who can't have and want kids still don't have one and someone who has no business having one and can't raise them properly is stuck with one they likely resent.

As, Odyessy said, there are many reasons people choose to be childless by choice and we are lucky to live in the first world, where we have this option. I personally believe children should only be brought into the world if they are wanted and can be properly cared for. ​And I think you misunderstand the affects of a child on one's life. Children cost a considerable amount of money and time that some people just can not spare. Once you have that baby, your whole life is your family, as it should be. And it takes a certain kind of maturity to know and own up to this, which is why many people either wait or choose not to have kids at all. I know too many people who are way to young/immature to handle having a kid, can barely afford the one they have, yet still spend money on stupid things for themselves and also want another baby. And yes, yes, I KNOW that you can not lose yourself when you become a parent and having a hobby is fine, if you have the disposable income to spend on it while properly providing for your child. If you ask me, it's these kind of people who are selfish and have no business raising a kid.

Also, for the record, as I said in my own post. I DO NOT hate kids. I like working with them and know it's important to teach them right so they can grow up to be productive adults of the next generation. If I hated them, I wouldn't be going into education or be a party entertainer. But, I also know, as I said, that, in my heart, it's not the right choice for me to have my own all day, every day, 365 days of the year. I do not think I can commit to the task of actively raising a child, because a lot does change in your relationship and life when you have them, and you need to be realistic about it. Kids cause more stress on a marriage then a lot of people know until the have one.

Honestly, I do not think I want children. I just think, in my heart, it's not the right choice for me. YES, I want to fall in love and get married, but I feel I would be happy with just me and my husband. There are so many things I want to do and places I want to go that just won't be an option if I was to have a child.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love working with kids. I'm training to be a teaching assistant and I'm a party entertainer (I dress up as Elsa and soon, Rarity, and make appearances at birthday parties). I love teaching kids something new, or making them smile with a song, but I also like the part where I can give them back so they can bother their parents. I'm the same way with my god-daughter, I love her to death. She reminds me a lot of me as a kid, in that she's very bright and creative and out there. So, I like spending time with her and showing her new things and just making her smile, but I also realised in spending time with her, that I just could not do the mum thing 24/7/365. I don't think I could deal with having a little human who relies on me for everything and having my entire life revolve around them.

I'll admit it. I'm a selfish witch. I like having the freedom to move about and do what I want when I want within reason without worrying about school or activities or daycare or money in terms of having to balance living expenses with kid expenses. I like coming home and it being quiet and clean and just me. And, also, the idea of being pregnant scares and disgusts me personally. I mean, you're basically sick for a whole year, and your body is doing things you have no control over and you're hot and miserable and throwing up and overall run down...And then afterwards you have this thing you have to take care of for 18+ years? And all your dreams of travel, a sex life and any time for your marriage go out the window. Plus, it would be way too hard for me to get my body back because my metabolism isn't exactly fast and that just adds another layer of stress because if I was to get pregnant and get fat, my husband would leave (because no one wants to have sex with that, according to some of the men I know) and I'd be all alone. Only this time with a baby. No thank you. 

Now, I'd also like to add that, even though I feel this way personally and would not seek motherhood as a path for myself. I have nothing -- absolutely nothing -- against parents. Unless of course, one has kids for the wrong reason or is just not being a parent. But, overall, I think it's totally awesome if people choose to go down the path of parenthood and want to have and raise kids. That's cool. However, I also think the opinion needs to go both ways. I can't tell you how many people have said awful things to me and made me feel like a horrible woman because I decided I don't want kids. Or they're like, "Oh. You'll change your mind once you fall in love and have sex." Um...No? Not everyone who falls in love and marries has to have a family. Besides, I work in retail and do extra things for my education class and I can tell you there are PLENTY of kids around where I live. Me not having one will not harm the population.

I've been into anime for years now. My anime taste is weird and varied. I like mostly magical girl series, my favourite being Heartcatch PreCure! But I also like other things like Space Battleship Yamato and Death Note, both of which are in genres leagues away from magical girls. But, I'd have to say my all-time favourite series is Fruits Basket I could go on a seven-part rendition of why that manga is amazing and probably one of the best, in my opinion. (I'm even working on a long-arc fanfic for the series, which, unfortunately gets no feedback...So I'm considering giving it up.) I'm just disappointed it's not more popular and blame that on the fact the anime is more well-known and they messed with a handful of things that causes a rift in the fandom...

My biggest flaw would definitely be my self-hatred, I always always lower myself whenever I have to compare myself to others. It's really hard for me now to even work on my music because whenever I'm done working on something I always think that it sounds horrible. Whenever I try to draw I'm more than convinced that it sucks, and I won't even talk about how I consider myself in real life, I find myself unattractive and uninteresting. It ends up in me being awkward with people because I'm scared that they might think the same thing I think about myself. It's even harder to deal with this since I'm going through that puberty and adolescence bullshit because everyone tears everyone else down around me, and I'm usually the one to get torn apart first. I don't actually care about what they say because I already think of what they say myself, it just gets me even more certain that I actually am a mess, so yeah.

 

I really hope that one day I'll be able to stop decimating myself like that, because I lose myself so much inside my thoughts I'm frightened that I might not be able to get rid of these thoughts.

First of all, puberty sucks. I struggled the entire time I was in school and was treated like anything but a human being for thirteen years, but I can honestly say the junior high/puberty years were the absolute worst out of my entire school experience. I can't speak for the guys, because I'm biologically and identify as a female. I went through crap through those years. First of all, all you're trying to do is just get through school, but meanwhile, your body is doing things and going through changes you barely understand, all your emotions are crazy and people at that age are just downright mean because of it. I found that, with girls, the teasing and tearing down is very sneaky and psychologically taxing (again, I can not speak for the males). I got made fun of for nearly EVERYTHING I did. I was the smallest in class, and wearing clothes made for eight-year-olds at eleven because of my size. I wore size ONE kids' shoes for goodness' sakes. So I was frequently tripped in the hall, and told "Go back to third grade!" People would kick my books down the hall, take and hide my belongings at the lunch table, poke fun at me because I liked to mind my own business and read books. Both boys and girls made fun of me for being "flat-chested" all through middle school. (My breasts didn't "pop" until I was fourteen) and just labelled an all-around freak. Plus I was a late bloomer. I was really naive and barely had an understanding of what was going on around me and all these new things and dirty words everyone else was discovering. I just wanted to go to school, learn and move on with my life. But, no. They wouldn't let me do that. And the teachers, counsellors and my parents didn't care either. They were all, "Oh. Just don't do things that will get you picked on." Um...Excuse me? The only thing I did was show up to school every day. I meant NO HARM to anyone. The object soon became to be as invisible as possible so that people wouldn't know I was around. Because if they did, they had rude things to say.

Point is, I totally see where you're coming from. It is an awful, awful time in one's life, especially if they're in any way different from the masses. All of that seriously screwed with me too, and I have really low-self confidence because of it, even being five years out of public school. I fear everyone judging me, and as a result, I'm a huge Fluttershy. I'm extremely quiet and submissive and have trouble speaking up, even when I need to. I say "sorry" for things I didn't even do and feel like a huge inconvenience to everyone sometimes. I'm also an artist and sometimes I second-guess myself as well. In my case, it's with writing. I'm barely getting ANY feedback on my current story and it actually makes me cry. Because I feel like I'm pouring my heart into this project for absolutely nothing. And it makes me start to think I need to quit the story and that I'm a bad writer who doesn't deserve a place in the Fruits Basket fandom. I also find myself to be unattractive and think that there's something wrong with me as a human because I want a boyfriend, but can't get men to notice me at all. I dress classy, I hide my fandom stuff...And they still don't notice me even though my friends say I'm really pretty. I have spent way too much time crying over the fact  that I have no guarantee anyone will love me and that I need to fix myself or be forever alone, but...I don't know what to fix. I'm not a bad person. I have a very kind heart and a lot to offer. I take good care of the people around me and would give the shirt off my back if someone really needed it.

What's helping me is cosplay and therapy. For me, talking everything out and having someone there to help me and validate that I am a decent person and can push through this really, really helps. My therapist is a really good listener and her advice has been helping me slowly come to terms with myself in pieces at a time. And doing cosplay helps me because I get to be someone else for awhile. Sure, it may sound unhealthy, but it's not. I love putting myself together and dressing up and making people smile with my photos. Plus, it helped me find my niche and set me on a career path finally. Because of it, I was able to discover that I love working with kids (I'm a party entertainer on the side and have done Elsa meet-and-greets to help raise money for Children's hospitals through work) and have gone back to school to take some teacher training classes to be an instructional assistant. The classes are great and I love doing my observations and watching kids learn and having a hand in that. It makes me feel useful and worth something. I'm now working on a Rarity EQG cosplay so I can experiment with another character and be able to do some more parties as someone else. It's a slow process since I'm actually making this one with the help of my friends, but I'm enjoying every step and my friends are super supportive and helpful. And sure, sometimes I see awesome cosplayers and get discouraged, but I also remember that everyone starts somewhere and, in my case, as long as I'm making kids smile it's okay that I'm not taller, sexier or have the "perfect" costume. Though I do try and be as accurate as possible while making the costumes functional and safe. For example, my Rarity boots (on order) have a low, wedge heel as opposed to a large chunky one, and my Elsa shoes are flats, despite her wearing pumps, because of safety reasons. I can't do heels. I don't have that kind of balance and you need functionality when working with children. And if they ask why I'm not wearing them, because they DO pay attention, I simply say that my feet get tired and that I don't wear heels all the time. And after all, they don't want a tired Elsa at their party, do they? No they love that I will play games and walk around/run with them occasionally.

Finally, to address your last sentence, If you honestly feel in your heart that something is wrong and that you can't control those awful thoughts and emotions, I highly suggest at least considering a therapist. I know it might be harder for you, because you're a teenager, but you could try talking to your parents about it and see if they might help with it. My dad was very helpful and encouraging when I told him I wanted to get therapy and helped me figure out the health insurance's policies regarding mental health and offered to help pay if I couldn't afford it. And remember that there is NO shame in needing/asking for help. Only strength. Because it takes a lot of it to stand up and admit you can't do things alone. Also, time does help. Despite my insecurities, I can honestly say I became a much better/stronger person after I moved on and went to college. People in the real world are judge-y, but also have more important things to worry about, (jobs, money, kids, etc.) so they'll usually leave you alone and judge silently.

SOOOO EXCITED! Just ordered the wig for my Rarity Cosplay! It's all starting to come together!

Got it from here: https://arda-wigs.com/shop/ferrari-classic-cosplay-wig/

It's my first order from them, but I've heard nothing but great things! It was between this colour and another purple, and if I don't like it, I'm sure I could exchange it for the other/darker colour.

Now...To search for the hairclip! To the internet!

We have four cats in the house. But this one is mine. Her name is Ho-Ho.

I shower at night so...On work days I'm up at seven or eight, depending on when I go in. And I do this:

1. get up

2. Make bed

3. Put ponies on bed

4. Get dressed and gather things for pockets (Mobile, hand sanatiser, etc.)

5. Wash face

5. Acne medication

7. Put lunch together

8. Eat breakfast (time permitting)

9. Go to work

When I'm not working? It really doesn't matter. I'll get up and make the bed, and just get dressed. If I'm chilling at home, I don't do hygiene (the face washing and medication) if I'm going out, I do.

I HAVE RETURNED! Sorry, I've been super, super busy and going through some first world problems and just haven't gotten back here for awhile. But I have some news!

I'm putting together a Rarity EQG cosplay! My friends are being super helpful too. I have one that makes her own furry suits! And they are dope! And she's super nice and helping me big time. (She's an MLP fan too) She made my skirt (Which does need some adjustment. Currently I have to pull it over my head to get it on...It needs a button), and another is going to help me paint my boots when I get them and help me attach the fabric for the top. I've also chosen a decent wig. I just need to budget for it. (I currently need a spare car key and that's about $150 USD minimum. (I have a newer car, so I need a microchipped key.) So...Yeah. I'm really, really hoping it'll be good enough that people will want to book me for parties. I'm a freelance party princess who plays Elsa and entertains kids at birthdays and I've been wanting to add a new character to my line. So, I figured, why not Rarity? Someone out there must want to have an MLP/EQG party and want an actual Equestria Girl to visit!

I also gave away a bunch of stuff (Dolls and things. Gave them to a coworker who was struggling to buy her daughter Christmas gifts between bills and things. Her daughter LOVES them, BTW) and it cleared a shelf in my room. Naturally, this is what I did with it. ALL THE RARITY! Okay, not really. I have several more Raritys, but, here's some. XD

I also put THIS applique on the dress I'm giving my god-daughter for Easter. She's three and LOVES MLP. She's more of a Dashie fan (Though she loves them all)...But I'm trying to convert her. XD Because crazy Tía is crazy.

So...yes. That's what I've been doing.

No, I don't have one. I have enough debt on my shoulders (for a brat who lives at home, anyway) between the Car Payment, the student loan, my bills and my teacher training class I signed up for. Like I need another bill to pay...Plus, I don't really spend a lot of money anyway. I'm trying to go minamalist, so not having money is good. Means I won't buy stupid things.

Scary Godmother. I can't help it, I think the films are cute and I LOVE watching them when I can...My parents hate them, so I have to wait until I'm home alone. XD

A lot of things, where do you wanna start?

-Undiagnosed low-spectrum Autism (I've never been tested, but the KNOW I have it)

-Some form of social anxiety (hate people, hate groups)

-Still not married yet (Though, I kinda need a boyfriend first, don't I?)

-Crazy Cat lady

-I'm my own worst critic

Among other non-important things.

Because people in the western first-world have nothing better to do than create things that aren't there and find something to be offended about. Never mind all the freezing, starving refugees or starving children, we must make things up to be offended at because reasons.

Also, I read Lord of the Flies. It was awesome. And most certainly not about homosexuality. If I remember correctly, it was about the human ability to survive.