I'm not a pro mixer, but i have some experience. I can fiddle with this song if you want. Also i have been on both sides of mix crits. Here are my thoughts: Kick in your mix is way too loud and have no sustain, like it was heavily gated. "Studio" mix is on the other side - too roomy, snare is very thin. Both mixes don't have low end "weight" or "balls". Bass guitar sits in ~100-200 Hz area and is masked by guitars. Lead guitar - you hear it yourself. I'd say it have too much gain and/or effects. "Studio" guitars are clearer, but very low mids heavy.