-Octavia-

Thing is, Surprise, there are indeed individuals who aren't good with emotional and social conventions such as friendship. Not in the traditional sense. I, personally, am absolutely terrible at making small talk, and so I typically don't go out of my way to strike up conversations unless they're about more practical topics. It actually tends to perpetuate feelings of guilt and uselessness, for I am not at all able to properly convey my respect and admiration for the friend in the form of those warm, fuzzy feelings that can be instilled by idle chatter.

Of course, I am unfamiliar with Mr. Glimmerlicious's situation and yours, and I am sure that you both have indeed been subjected to abusive friendships. I am sorry to hear this, and can certainly empathise. Should either of you wish to add to the number of your close acquaintances (I will not be so presumptuous as to assume that I make for a good friend), then I would be more than willing to oblige. Do mind, though, that some of us genuinely are trying to connect, and want to; we just have absolutely no idea how to do it. It's like jumping straight past Calculus and into Differential Equations.

Now, for perhaps an even more controversial view: selfishness can be a boon to relationships. I don't speak of selfishness in the sense of greed and manipulation oft attributed to it. I speak of selfishness purely as having a sense of self. To love oneself enough to improve one's life that they may extend the same kindness they have shown themselves, to others, and have it be absolutely genuine. Too often have I seen people make claims of and for selflessness, and too often have I seen the same people despair over their lack of esteem and actions. When one lives for others, and gives away that sense of self, then they begin to base their worth on ever-changing external values. The connections they forge with people under the flag of selflessness become pieces of a fragile shell holding itself together, and at some point, when a piece is removed (be it by the worry that some form of external validation is no longer true, or by an action perceived to have an ill intent that doesn't truly exist), that shell begins to crumble.

This is not to excuse any violation of the boundaries and trust on the part of people selfish in the sense of greed. That can never lead to a fruitful relationship, and it absolutely baffles me that there are individuals who can behave in such a manner towards others deserving of a principle respect as a human being. What I am suggesting, simply, is that, when it comes to friendships, people should be allowed to take time for themselves to grow, before they can start helping others grow in turn, otherwise it's just a husk of a relationship that could be, that can fall apart at the first sign of trouble.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just a bit too sentimental when it comes to depth in a relationship over any superficial emotions and experiences. It could well be that I have a very different idea of what friendship is compared to others, as suggested by my own little rant. But I truly believe that striving for that depth, that understanding, that ability to speak out and push through a difficulty with your friend, and strengthen the bond in the process, is vital for a successful relationship. I'd take a friend like that over one more concerned with warm, fuzzy feelings any day.

A sensei (先生) is a teacher or an instructor. I suppose it depends on the context of "master". If you are referring to someone in a higher, more respectable position than yourself, for example a maid addressing the head of house, one might use the suffix -sama (様), although this can also be used to express great admiration.