Batbrony

Good morning everypony!  Sorry I missed chatting with ya'll for last week's episode, but I promise I had VERY good reason to miss it given that I was serving as a groomsman for my sister's wedding.   Anyways, glad to be back, and can't wait for this morning's episode.  Sounds like it should be quite fun, though hopefully it's better written than last week's very confusing and, if I'm being honest, chockful-of-misfires episode was.  Having Granny Smith as one of the main characters, much less alongside Rainbow Dash, is a very unique premise though and I'm optimistic that this should be some good fun indeed! 

Alright, I find it more believable that Applejack was just trying to buck with RD, because if she really thought that RD is responsible enough to handle this chaperone gig, she is giving RD WAYYYYYYYYYYY too much credit.  Still, it is gratifying to see once again that, as usual, AJ is the most mature member of the Mane 6. 

Just now, Dark Qiviut said:

Is it me, or has the dialogue been pretty…snappy? Like they're short, quick, and pretty emotive?

That might just be because there's a lot to cover, just like in the season finale last year.

Actually I just realized something... the bad guy isn't Twilight or even racism (well not entirely)... the bad guy is basically Equestrian Common Core and school administrations inability to create any flexibility in it for the sake of a better learning experience.  As the son of a teacher and coming from a teaching family, this greatly pleases and amuses me. 

And once again, the villain of the day is... Twilight's OCD.  Yayyyyyyyyyyy, great job Twilight.   Look, I know Twilight over-thinking shit is a long-established character trait, but at this point it's getting a little ridiculous that she is still bucking up major projects as much as she is because of it.

OMG, Maurice LaMarche, this is not a drill, BUCKING MAURICE LAMARCHE IS IN MLP!!!!!!!!  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Oh holy shit, wow, a DIRECT tie-in to the movie as the starting point for the season's events?  I gotta admit, that was the last thing I was expecting, but I have to say that I like the boldness of such a move.  Kudos, DHX, kudos, especially to the writers. 

Good morning everypony!  Well, well, well another hiatus has come to an end and more MLP is upon us once again!  No idea what Season 8 has in store for us, but I'm sure it will be absolutely splendid and delightful!  Here's to another fun season of ponies and friendship, for everypony one and all!!! 

TIME FOR A LAST DITCH EFFORT FOR THE GOOD DOCTOR!  WE NEED THREE VOTES TO PUSH HIM INTO FIRST PLACE YA'LL, C'MON, LET'S SEE THE FAN FAVORITE TIME-TRAVELING HORSE UPEND THE ONE-TIME VILLAIN!!! 

I don't understand what's happening!

Huh?

How in the hay is my beloved Doctor struggling against a... whatever that Tantabus-thing is?!

I don't know mom, these moo-hams have proven already that they have weird tastes.

Well let's change those tastes starting now... c'mon everypo-... er, every-moo-ham, please vote for my beloved Doctor and my sweet little Dinky!  They're both super awesome and talented and deserve to help save the world.  Soooooooooooooooooo... pretty pleaseeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Pretty please?  Really?  That's what you're going with.

OK fine.  Vote for both of them and get them to the final teams, and I'll bake you all as many muffins as you want!

Oh wow, you are taking this seriously!  Well, you heard her folks, ya wanna vote for my dad and lil' sis, go right ahead, it sure would be cool getting to compete with my whole family... that is of course assuming I get through as well.

Oh I'm sure you will, sweetie.  Now then, VOTE DINKY AND VOTE THE DOCTOR, PART OF THE CUTEST FAMILY IN EQUESTRIA!!!!!!!! 

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, that was a most satisfying meal.  Anyway, now that we're back, what did I miss?

Not much, just a whole city of ponies rioting.

That... doesn't sound like not much.  Why are you being so nonchalant about that?

Oh my bad, that had nothing to do with the contest.  It's Fillydelphia, knowing them they're rioting over some giant sporting event or something.

A... dream-world/chaos-world Fillydelphia is rioting over a sporting event?

Hey, I don't make the rules, and if we're being honest we've seen far stranger than that during our time here.

Fair enough.  So who won?

Well we backed Sassy Saddles and Big Mac, and they did just fine, but goodness gracious does Nurse Redheart have some fans out there or what!  We thought for sure Roseluck would be far more likely to get more than her.

Pffffttttt, well of course she has fans, she's got that sexy nurse get-up after all.  Hard to top the sexy nurse look.

CLOUD!

I'm just saying!

So who do ya'll like today.

Hmmmmmm... odd round... I know, Apple Bloom!

OK I know this is hardly the first foal or colt who's been backed in this contest, but does anyone else find it kinda bucked up that we're supporting the notion of putting the fate of the world and all reality, in part, in the hooves of some kids?

I don't know, seems to happen in movies and TV all the time.

THAT'S NOT A VALID JUSTIFICATION!!!

I'll have you know, Star, that us smaller ponies are perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves, as well as doing things you smelly big ponies can't!

Like what?  And that smelly remark was totally uncalled for.

Well, we can sneak around in tight spaces... hide in tight spaces... and... uh...

Don't hurt yourself overthinking it, that's good enough.

Next, I guess Cheerilee seems like a pretty good choice out of this lot.  Especially if a foal gets voted in to, they could use a responsible adult to watch after her.

Now that makes far more sense.  OK, last spot, who we wanna give it to.

FLUFFLEPUFF!!!!!! *squee* 

Who?

You know, Flufflepuff. *squee* 

No, I don't.  I don't think I've ever seen a pony as fluffy as her around town.  Mom, c'mon, Mrs. Cake's in that group and you've known her for years!

Oh I know, but c'mon, look at her!  She may be new, but she's so so so cute and fluffy and... *squee* I just wanna huggle her all day long! 

Would you stop squeeing.  And fine, we'll float for... Flufflepuff, I guess.  Man this was a weird round.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... what the hay happened?

I... don't honestly know.

Why won't my head stop spinning?

Are you idiots done? 

Done with what?

You, Shining, and Daring have been beating the shit out of each other since your round started (and ended) over a week ago.  It's been like watching a really bad shōnen anime, only a lot dumber.

What exactly happened?

Well first Shining insinuated that Derpy wasn't qualified to make the team on account of her eyes and that Daring shouldn't because an imaginary character shouldn't in principle be on the team and he didn't trust she'd be clutch when it mattered most.  That led to Daring saying something REALLY rude about Shining's mom and Derpy slugging him while he was recovering from the shock of what Daring said.

So that's why my face is numb.

Then Daring made matters even worse when she suggested that Derpy shouldn't go on since she has two kids to worry about, which Derpy took as an insult as well and led her to challenging Daring to an Iron Pony competition.

Huh?

We didn't actually do that, did we?

Oh yes you did.

Horse feathers.

So you guys did the usual Iron Pony events - and once Shining woke up he joined in - and that led to absolutely no solid conclusions and affected the voting in no way whatsoever.

Hold on... Iron Pony competitions don't take that long.

No... they do not.  You guys didn't stop there.

Crap.

What did we do?

What didn't you do?  An essay-writing contest, a spelling bee, mixed martial arts, a muffin-baking contest, a muffin-eating contest, flamenco dancing, archery, skydiving, Greco-Roman wrestling, flaming-javelin tossing, go-cart racing, a very confusing beauty pageant, and for some reason a haiku contest.  Oh, and let's not forget the four variations of drinking contests you threw in there.

Oh, that explains the headache.

Nah, that might also be from when Daring hit you across the face with a loaded book-bag.

Oops.

So uh... what happened?

Oh you won.  You and Vinyl, that is.  Me, Photo Finish, Daring Do, and Shining Armor are in the Wild Card.

YAY!  I'm so proud of you, Star!

You should really be proud that I didn't get into the idiocy you three got up to.

That too...

So... what else did we miss?

Let's see... Mayor Mare and Rainbow Dash took the next round (Dinky was VERY upset that Pipsqueak didn't win).

Lyra and Pinkie's sister, Maud, won after that, and the next day Minuette and that bipedal cat, Capper won their round.

And Sunset Shimmer, Sweetie Belle, Bon Bon, and Somnambula won the last two.

Oh wow, so many of our friends are getting in, that's awesome- ow, OK, don't talk so loud, head still hurts... so who're we going for today?

Well... we got a bit of an awkward situation.

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The buck?

Of all the ponies we had to face, OF COURSE FATE WOULD POSE US AGAINST OUR EVIL PERSONA!!!!!  HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE???  A POX BE UPON YOU, OH WICKED REALM WE'VE BEEN CAST INTO!

Princess Luna?  What's wrong?

Ah, Derpy, perfect, just the mare we were looking for.  It's an outrage, I tell you, simply an outrage.

What is?  Also, indoor voice please, my head is killing me from... well, Celestia only knows what I drank.

Whatever cruel being set these rounds up has set me up against my darkest incarnation, the fell creature known as Nightmare Moon.

Oh... well that is a problem.  Wow, that's bucking weird, that'd be like me competing against my Batmare persona.

Yeah, or me competing against A.K. Yearling.

Why would you competing against the author of your book be like that at all?  Also, how the hell do you know you have an author who created you?

Uh... MAGIC!

Derpy, we call upon you for assistance!  You have lent us much aid in the past and we would be honored and ever so grateful to get more from you now.

Oh of course, princess, it'd be our pleasure.

I don't know... Princess Luna may be hotter but I'm pretty sure Nightmare Moon's far kinkier.

Cloud, NO!

May I remind you that we are the Princess of the Night.  There is no corner of the night and all that happens in it that we are not intimately familiar with.  And I do mean NO corner. 

You make a valid point... everypony, vote for Princess Sexy-Times!

I refuse to call her that, but fine.

So who else should we be pulling for?

Well pairing Princess Luna with Nightmare Moon is probably a really bad idea - I just get the feeling they wouldn't get along all that well - but Pinkie seems like the obvious choice.  As for the Wild Card spot, I still really don't like the idea of Nightmare Moon getting on the same team as Luna, so let's see who else we got here.  A whole lot of ponies I don't know, a stoner, a cherry farmer, Ponyville's vet, and, OOOO, hey princess, your pet's in here!

*gasp* He is!  LOYAL SUBJECTS, VOTE FOR OUR BELOVED POSSUM OF THE NIGHT, SIR TIBBLES!!!!!!!!

You heard her, everypony!  Vote Tiberius!!!!!!!!

So we're just gonna pretend that you didn't just spend over a week doing some of the stupidest shit I've ever seen with an imaginary character and the prince of the Crystal Empire.

Oh no no no no no, Star, we're not gonna pretend it didn't happen.  We're just gonna repress that memory HARD.  Bury it deep down, and forget it EVER HAPPENED.  Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get something to eat.

Right behind ya, ya crazy mailmare.

Ok, who reneged on their vote for Derpy?  She had 15 and now she has 14.   I am not amused.

C’mon ya’ll, vote Derpy!!!!  Who’s meant more to the fandom than her in this group???  Only one who even holds a candle is Vinyl, and even she’s not as beloved!  This is the fandom’s greatest mascot we’re talking about here!!! Do not disappoint me, bronies, but more importantly, DON’T DISAPPOINT DERPY!!!! 

Can't do my full post now since I gotta get to my sister's bridal shower, but that said... VOTE DERPY, VOTE AMETHYST STAR, AND VOTE VINYL!!!  GO BACKGROUND PONIES, GO BACKGROUND PONIES, GO GO GO GO GO!!!!!!!!!!!! 

You know what, I hate to say it but I'm kinda feeling bored this round.  I know, let's mix things up and do things rapid fire!  Anddddddddddd... go, CATEGORY!!!

Um, singers!  Let's vote for singers!

Nice!  OK, who first?

Countess Coloratura!

Obviously, next.

Hmmmmmmmm, how about that Princess Skystar.  Doesn't hurt that she's quite the cutie, but sweet Celestia does she have some pipes or what?!

Nice, very nice.  OK, last slot!

GRANNY SMITH!

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Gosh dang it ... OK, I'll bite... why Granny Smith?

You said singers didn't you? 

Yeah? 

Well there's your answer! 

I... OK, works for me.

Ya darn tootin' it does!

Gah!!!  Where'd you come from????

Wha'cha talkin' 'bout young'n?  I been listenin' in on ya'll this whole time!  How else was I supposed to keep mahself entertain'd while I was waitin' for mah round?

This is a realm crafted from the realms of dreams and chaos where you could literally do anything and you've just been listening to us this whole time?  None of us are even anywhere close to your group and aren't even related to you, why the hay have you been listening to us???

Yer questionin' me 'bout what I've been up to when all you've been doing is gabberin' this whole time?

I... huh... 

Great seeing ya Granny Smith, thanks for stopping by!

Always a pleasure Derpy, thanks fer the vote!  Glad to know SOMEPONY around here 'ppreciates mah musical talents. 

Is it cider season yet? 

Do they even have cider season here?

They better... 

STAR!!! 

The hay... what?

Why are young ponies stupid!!! 

Huh? 

Why are young ponies stupid?!?! 

What the hay did I do? 

Nothing, I just wanna know why are young ponies stupid??? 

I don't know, what the hay did we apparently do?

Well not any of your guys, per se... it's the moo-hams.

What about them?

They voted in Tirek of all competitors!

Huh? 

Mhm. 

Tirek as in "Lord Tirek who almost conquered and destroyed all of Equestria" Tirek? 

Mhm. 

What the hay, that guy's a-

Hold on, Dinky, ears.

OK! *covers ears* 

Atta girl.  Now where we?  Oh yeah, THAT GUY'S A DICK!!! 

Awwwwwww, I was gonna say that. 

Maybe the moo-hams just really liked his name?  Do they even really know who any of us are?

I would imagine they have to know something about us to even choose between us in the first place.  But man, first Sombra and now this guy, what is wrong with them?

I don't know, it's quite the mystery.  Ah well, at least Queen Novo and Mistmane got through.

Yeah, not bad choices at all, even if I would've taken Sugar Belle or that adorable robotic version of Sweetie Belle over Queen Novo.

A robot Sweetie Belle really should be creepy in theory, but my goodness is she just the cutest little mechanical thing! 

I know!!! 

Hrmmmmmmmmmm... that Sweetie Bot's trying to move in my corner of the cute market, and I don't like it! 

You guy's are so weird, you know that? 

Oh Star, you know that's why we love 'em!

Oh don't pretend like you're not weird either!  You're just slightly more relatively sane in comparison to them.

Pot calling kettle black over here. 

The town nymphomaniac did not just say that to me. 

Face it, kid, we're all weird here, why do you think we like each other? 

How am I weird? 

You're the weirdo of the group who's obsessed with pretending that you can maintain some semblance of normalcy when in reality you thrive in the weirdness around you, and would be more weirded out if you were surrounded by the normal you claim to crave. 

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... 

Plus you have this weird thing for peanut butter. 

I DO NOT... it's just, really tasty is all. 

How about this weird matchup tonight?  Angel bunny and Mage Meadowbrook in the tiebreaker.  Who ya feeling girls-

Mage. 

Mage. 

BUNNY! 

It's Angel. 

Oh... NOT THE BUNNY! 

Deffffffffffffffffffinitely the Bayou Beauty. 

I'm surprised, guys!  Even with how much Fluttershy loves the little guy?!

She can love him all she wants, that little bastard kicks me every time he walks by me.

He once bit me when I tried to pet him WITH Fluttershy's permission to do so!

The little sadist digs up my carrots every year and doesn't even eat them!  He just leaves them lying there on the ground as a testament to his evilness... that or he throws them at my house.

HE BROKE MY FAVORITE TOY!!!

Guys, guys, guys, what if you're all looking at this the wrong way?  What if the way to balance out an evil like Tirek is to throw him together with a different kind of force of evil?  Somepony who's gonna make his life a living hell?  Well???

...

...

...

Nah, buck that guy.  VOTE MAGE!!! 

Well... guess the I's have it. 

Choose wisely my friends...

Hahaha... NO!!! 

Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss 

Just now, Jeric said:

Coin flip

I'll get Amethyst waiting in the wings just in case. 

Man, these last two rounds were weird! 

What do ya mean, Star?  Didn't think that any of our choices were weird.

OUR choices weren't, it's the folks the voters went with I can't wrap my head around!

Well to be fair, we did pick Tom and Rarity just like the voters did.

Yesssssssssssssssssss... but they also picked a tyrant with a freaky thing for crystals and an owl, and as far as I can tell both of these guys say exactly one word each!!!  Also, since when is picking a rock named Tom logical???

Oh, there's a certain charm to Tom that's hard to describe.  A kind of je ne sais quoi if you will.

...

...

When the hay did you learn Prench?

That's not important... what's important is that we now need to make sure that either Trouble Shoes or Blossomforth and Vapor Trails get through to the next round in the wild card!

Yeah, I still can't believe that a Wonderbolt trainee lost to an owl. 

Or that my sexy little Blossom lost to a dude with a fetish for crystals! 

CLOUD, WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT PET NAMES IN PUBLIC??? 

What's up with that anyway?  Like, do we know anything about that guy other than he loves crystals?

Not as far as I know... still can't believe Blossom lost to him.  Seriously, have you guys SEEN how far she can bend??? 

CLOUD!!!!!!!!!! 

Love you too, Blossom McBendy! 

Alright, so who're we going for today anyways?

Well Twilight's the obvious choice here.

I figure Star Swirl's probably a pretty good call as well.  After all, speaking from experience, it's always handy to have somepony on hoof who's traveled through time and space!

Wasn't he technically suspended in a dimension outside of time and space?

Um... actually I suppose he was.  How did you know that? 

I pay really good attention in school! 

That's my girl, doing your old Time Lord proud! 

Who in the world is this Nyx filly? 

I don't know, but for some reason she's sticking REALLY close to Twilight.

Any idea why?

Nope... and I'm not sure Twilight's entirely certain why she is either.

Huh... well, I'm stumped.  Suppose we ought to just flip a coin for the third slot?

How would that even work?  There's eight other slots and only two sides to a coin!

Uh... heads we vote for Bill Neigh, tails we vote for Dance Fever.

Sounds good to me, go for it Star!

OK, here it goes... *flips coin*

................

It... it landed on its side.

Um...

Huh...

Well, never seen that before.

Son of a... buck it, Gilda it is! 

I need some bucking peanut butter...

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OK, what the hay is up with some of these votes this round?

What do you mean, Amethyst?

What I mean is, who the hay is Angel Wings and why are we voting for her????

Oh silly, she's a daughter of a friend of a cousin of my aunt's hairdresser of course!

And that explains why we're voting for her how, exactly?

........ Wow, Star, you're really slow on the uptake, aren't ya?

WHAT??!?!?  OK, nevermind, but it's not just her.  Who's Blackthorn?

Only the best piece of tail from White Tail Woods, that's who. 

Dang it Cloud, I should've known you had something to do with that.

Well am I wrong???  Just look at this guy!

Woah... ... OK, uh, you may have a point.

Don't I always? 

OK, see, the Dragon Lord I get cause he's huge, but this last one, I just... how the hay did a dog win this round????????

BECAUSE WINONA'S A VERY GOOD PUPPY WHO GIVES LOTS AND LOTS OF PUPPY KISSES! 

*bark bark bark*

Just when I think this night can't get anymore confusing than it already is... 

Winona is winning,you say? 

1 hour ago, Prospekt said:

Derpy - @Batbrony

When you see that you're Derpy...

Well Princess Celestia's already the easiest choice of this tournament.

Yeah, she is pretty awesome.

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, her butt sure is...

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I think you meant to say-

I know what I said. 

Damn it, Cloud.

OH AND WE GOTTA VOTE FOR TANK!!!

Ummmm... why?

Causeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....................................... ............................................... he's a tortoise! 

Seems logical to me.

Eh, sure, why not, besides this is a fairly sparse group anyway... oh hey, Daring look, Ahuizotl's here too and... THAT MAKES AS LITTLE SENSE AS YOU BEING HERE DOES!!!

Sorry, I'm just a fictional character, I don't make the rules for who's here and who isn't.

Star, ya ever gonna let this go?

NO I AM NOT, BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!! 

Sweetie, half the things that happen in our lives don't make any sense.

What're you talking about, Carrot, things have been downright boring lately!

OK, so half of the things that happen in our lives don't make any sense to most of us.

I am telling you, I am gonna get to the bottom of this if it's the last thing I do.

Um, guys, who's getting our third vote.

I don't know, Dinky, why don't you pick.

OK!  Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... FEATHERWEIGHT!

Why Featherweight?

Cause he gave me his cookies last week!

Ya know, that somehow makes more sense than the tortoise.

Good choice, sweetie!

Ummmmmmmm, everypony!  This may be a bad time to mention that... I was never very good at sports.

Oh... ... well, s***!!! 

These last two rounds have been kinda quiet, huh?

Sure, aside from Cloud flirting with Spitfire every other minute.

Oh that's just Cloud being Cloud, you know that.

True, but I can only imagine that Spitfire will only be able to take soooooooooooo many compliments about how she, eh, "looks" in her jumpsuit before she snaps.

What can I say, ladies, I'm a lover, not a fighter. 

Oh gosh, you were listening?!

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmm.

You be on your best behavior, Cloud.  You two gotta focus if you're gonna make it far in the tourney together!

No promises, but I'll try.

I suppose that's the best we can hope for from Ponyville's resident nymphomaniac.

To be fair, even I'd be getting distracted if Spitfire were on my team.

Geeze, you've been quite for awhile Daring... and once again, how do you even know who Spitfire is?  You're a fictional character!!!

Well... uh... whoever said the Wonderbolts don't exist in my fictional universe?!

........

........

Whatever... anyways, Spitfire and Cloud were easy enough to pick.  Cloud may get around a little too much, but she also came from a military family and is on the weather team, so she's plenty athletic and in great shape.  What about today?

EVERYPONY'S FAVORITE SILLY PONY OF COURSE!!!

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Mom, it's not your round today, you know that, right?

I was talking about Applejack... 

Oh! 

Who thinks I'm a silly pony?!!! 

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Carrot, you wanna take this one?

You're on your own kid.

Damn it.

Oh, oh, oh, I think you can be silly sometimes mommy!

Awwwwwwwwww, that's adorable, muffin! 

Whew...

*whispers* You owe me, Star.

What???  Ughhhhh, fine!

So yeah, Applejack's easy enough, but who else?

Well, Cheese Sandwich seems to obey the laws of physics about as much as Pinkie Pie does, so that could come in handy.

That's a good point... now about that third spot...

Uhhhhh.... I've got a suggestion.

Shining Armor?  Man, you've been quiet up till now.  But alright, shoot.

My mom.

Heh?

My mom, Twilight Velvet.  I know this is hard to believe, but she's kinda an adrenaline junkie.

...............

Really?

YES REALLY!!  Ughhhhhh, dad, help me out here?

Heh?  Oh sorry son, was just busy enjoying White Tail Woods.  What did ya need?

I'm telling these guys that they need to vote for mom because she's a total wild child and they don't believe me!

Oh yes, it's true, she's QUITE the spitfire!  Loves getting her thrills wherever she can.  And I do mean WHEREVER! 

See, what did I tell ya- wait, what?

Huh?

Ew...

Oh dear... DINKY, EARS!!!

I'm talking about bedroom anti-

Yeah, I... don't worry, I think we got that... unfortunately. 

Just... just vote for my mom, OK!  Now I'm... I'm gonna go over there and cry.

Oh don't be such a prude, son, who are you to talk?  You're married to the feathering Princess of Love!

Oh for Celestia's sake, it's bad enough I'm thinking about you and mom and... that, now you're telling me you've thought of me and Cadance!!  EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Man, Twilight has a bucking weird family...

I'm married to a guy who travels through time and space, and... yeah, I can't really argue with that.

They are pretty cute, though. 

OK, so who are we going for tonight?

Can we pleaseeeeeeeeeeee pick the toughest looking one this time?

You mean Dragon Lord Ember?

No, Kettle Corn... OF COURSE I MEANT EMBER! 

Mmmmmmmmm, I don't know... she seemed OK at first, but I still haven't recovered from Ember's massacre of a perfectly good muffin.

Really mom?

THAT POOR MUFFIN NEVER GOT TO FULFILL ITS DESTINY OF ENDING UP IN SOMEPONY'S STOMACH!  IS THERE ANYTHING MORE TRAGIC?!?! 

..........

Yeahhhhhhhhhhh... anyway, who else?

Oh!  Oh!  That purple pony I've never seen before is really nice and said she has a giant hammer!  She'd be a GREAT member of the team!!!

On what grounds?

Um... grounds?

*sigh* Why would she be a great member of the team?

Hellooooooooooooo!!!  Giant. Hammer. What part of that didn't you understand?

Well I don't really know most of these other ponies, so I suppose that's as good of a choice as any.  OK, last slot, who's it gonna be?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm... oooooo, that orange pony with the pretty, curly mane!

........

What?

You looking to replace me or something?

Oh Carrot, don't be so silly!

SILLY?!  I've got one of the only orange manes in town, how am I supposed to not feel threatened???

Carrot, you're my BFF forever and ever and ever.  Pinkie Promise.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm- OK, fine.  So what do ya like about this mare so much anyways?

I don't know.  Just looking at her though makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and gives me the strangest urge to snuggle with my Doctor and hug my kids real tight.

That's... an oddly specific way to react from seeing somepony for the first time ever.

Yeah, I guess it is... ah well, let's vote for her!

Suit yourself.

Her mane's not that cute... 

CARROT, YOU'RE NOT GETTING REPLACED!!! 

Sooooooo... I just talk into this thing and the moo-hams will hear me?

Mhm, go ahead muffin, you got this!

OK!  Hello moo-hams, this is Dinky Doo!  I just wanted to say that it'd be really cool if you voted for me, because I really like playing buckball and trying to save the world with my family, which we do way more than you'd probably think we'd have to, but it's OK cause it's lots and lots of fun!  Everypony with me is still really nice... well, except for the scary mean cat lady... and the really whiny pony with a bun on his head... but everypony else has been super, super nice, and I'm sure they'd all be great in the second round too!  But I just think it'd be really nice if you voted for me too, cause I think I could do a really, really, REALLY good job!

Anything else?

Ummmmmmmmmmm... oh!  You should really vote for the rest of my family as well, cause I love them all a lot and they're all really good at saving the world too!  I love mommy, and daddy, and Amethyst (even if she can be a poopy-head sometimes, but she opens the peanut butter jar for me whenever it's stuck, so that's really nice of her!  Oh, and she's teaching me magic too since she's the only other unicorn in the family), and Miss Carrot Top, who even though we aren't related is still pretty much family, and... um... oh, Princess Luna, she hangs out with us sometimes and that's lots of fun!  So, yeah, you should vote for all of those ponies too, because they're really nice and cool and lots of other good stuff.

Did she seriously just call me a poopy-head?

Anything else, Dinky?

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... here's some pictures of me and mommy and my family!  I don't know if you'll like 'em or not but maybe you'll want to vote for us more after seeing them?

This is us outside daddy's magic phone booth with a giant muffin!

This is me and mommy playing the snow!

This is us at a tabletop RPG night that we did with a bunch of other ponies!  We got to dress up like on Nightmare Night, except there wasn't any free candy.

Dang it, Dinky, I thought we agreed we would never share that photo of me in public?

Oh hush, you both look adorable and you know it.

Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!

Sooooooooooo... yeah, please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please *deep breath* please please please please please vote for me everypony!  I'd really like it if you did!

C'mon everypony, vote for my little muffin, there's still some time to do so!!! 

I really don’t get the support for Commander Ironhead here, I really don’t.  Sure he played a big role in Flash Magnus’s origin, but his impact on the show itself, even compared to background ponies, has been nil, so this feels like a Season 7 hangover getting him votes more than anything else.  Dinky, on the other hoof, even though she’s never really been the center of attention save for a few very minor scenes, is far more beloved in the fandom as a whole, so I’d really like to see her grab that 2nd place spot instead.  Same goes for Fleur or Little Pip, and the latter isn’t even a canon character but still, in the long run, will prove far more important to the fandom than Commander Ironhead.  VOTE DINKY! VOTE LITTLE PIP!  VOTE FLEUR!