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Here No Longer

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  1. Here No Longer
    My life has been really amazing over the past few months... It certainly has been, no doubt about it...
     
    No, it only has been compared to what it was before that. Before I met my boyfriend of about 3 months, I was extremely depressed. I think a lot of you may know the story here, but I was actually heavily considering committing suicide, in a way that would work unlike the last few attempts at my own life foiled by various things. But now I can comparatively say this life is pretty fantastic. At least my own self-esteem isn't that far down the toilet. It's gotten a lot better, but is it entirely better? No it isn't. 
     
    I made this post in the "How are You Feeling Thread" at one point fairly recently: "I feel very upset with myself... ". I made this post after my boyfriend was upset with me for not listening to his music (even though, yes I should have sooner than I did, that isn't the point). I think if I could post the entire conversation, which I can't find it, you'd see that the post in and of itself indicates that my newfound self-esteem is very fragile. It was set off by something as small as my boyfriend getting a little angry at me over a track of EDM music he finished making.
     
    I'm still living most of my life in the $#!+hole known as my dad's (technically grandma's, considering she pays for EVERYTHING) house. The place has several problems that really prevent me from doing anything with my life. First one, is my dad. He will not clean up after himself. It basically makes the house into an extremely depressing environment with junk stacked everywhere. He also is such a man-child that helping him even with what I absolutely need to, is an absolute nightmare. It also doesn't help my ability to really communicate with him, that's already subject to my extreme introversion, but made worse by his stubborn inability to actually listen to what I have to say, instead making sorts of infuriatingly stupid jokes. Second one, is the environment itself. No air conditioning, no heating, bugs everywhere, NINE obnoxious dogs that won't leave me alone for five seconds when I go outside. My dad doesn't help this either, by constantly spouting off about how depressed he is and how the world is against him, and blah blah blah. Seriously, Dad, do you want to see me strung off the pecan tree, dangling by the homemade noose attached to my neck? I certainly hope not. It also doesn't help that there's no internet  aside from the internet on my "dad's" (when it's my grandma paying the bill in all actuality) phone, which he gripes about me taking all of the time. Yeah, I do dad. You know why? THE INTERNET HAS BECOME A LESSER NECESSITY, LIKE HEATING AND AIR CONDITIONING. I NEED them. Maybe not to SURVIVE, but to FUNCTION. Without it, I have no chance of survival. Period. I don't think my grandma wants me to run away from home because I have no chance there, so yeah, let me have it. All you use it for is looking at stupid $#!+ you find on Facebook and showing me your alt-right political memes that 9 times out of 10 are actually infuriatingly stupid (after you say you hate politics and offended people, you flock to both...).
     
    Also, I'm still QUITE unconfident of my ability to do anything for myself. Mind you, I'm weak, physically unfit, and by some definitions it is very likely that I'm actually disabled and should find a way to get that disability properly diagnosed so I can get disability checks. I have a lot of symptoms that suggest the possibility that I am on the autism spectrum (higher functioning, obviously). I mean I can't effectively communicate to anyone (yeah, even my own boyfriend, actually) due to a lack of social skills that also results in a lot of social anxiety, I had a LOT of developmental issues growing up, and believe me when I say that I am twitching like CRAZY right now. Only 3 of many things that make me think that there's a very high chance I'm on the spectrum. I am likely incapable of both the social and physical aspects of most any minimum wage job that I can get without references (and even then, it's actually really hard and getting harder and harder to even get THOSE without references.) This also means I can't effectively communicate with people outside of things that require no speech or eye to eye contact, and it also means that I can actually hardly do anything in a physical sense. Though the latter doesn't disturb me. I can just get my BF to do those things for me, even if it takes a little... convincing (and it seems I'm fairly good at that).
     
    BUT, is my life better? Of course it is. My self-esteem is getting better, I spend at least half of my days away from the House of Despair, and I have much more in terms of enjoyable experiences. I've been able to play Paladins again, and even a little bit of Team Fortress 2 (even though most of the time I try to play it online, my ping happens to spike ). I also have a little more confidence my tabletop game will go somewhere, and I don't feel as bad about myself. I don't see a noose in my future, also. I see... A small rented house on the outskirts of Houston, a lot of romance, a lot of my wants coming to fruition, and I even see a potential for personal success. No more of those self-help books that I just want to throw in the burn barrel. And soon enough, maybe no more living with my dysfunctional father. I just wanted to end this on a not-so-depressing note. I definitely do feel better, but it is a mistake to say life has suddenly become absolutely everything I want out of it.
     
  2. Here No Longer
    I've always found myself quite interested about the idea of thinking what will be, in our future. A few decades, a few centuries... Of course the former is much, much easier to do with a ready degree of certainty (even if with that you're bound to be wrong on at least half of any predictions that may be made), and the latter is pretty much impossible. I've always wanted to compile a list of things that would happen in our future and really think about how things might turn out. Now that I've said enough times that I find the topic fascinating in different words, before getting to the topic at hand, this prediction assumes we don't annihilate ourselves, and is also as optimistic as I think it can be:
     
    Global warming will have ravaged the planet in such a way where vast parts of the globe are uninhabitable, whether to do with heat or with going underwater. Some coastal areas will need to be evacuated, with an estimated roughly 3 foot rise in sea level by 2070. Globally, the average temperature will be roughly 3 degrees Celsius (or 5.5 degrees Fahreinheit) warmer than today. Most of the Middle East, northern Africa, and parts of Central America will be rendered unsuitable for human life. The global population will be roughly 11 billion, even after the near extinction of middle-easterners by xenophobic lawmakers (the likes of Trump of course). We will have chips implanted into us plausibly in the first days of our lives. These chips will track your movements and can also be modified to grant you a heads-up display of sorts. These chips will likely also allow you to have mental access to the equivalent of today's internet. The US, China, and India will all no longer be world powers. I personally predict, though this will likely be wrong, that we will have a single state spanning the globe whose biggest influences are the districts that are today's Norway and Japan. This will more than likely have been prompted by yet another close call with nuclear annihilation. Cars will pretty much have made a complete transition away from gasoline, to a different source of energy altogether. Perhaps smaller scale nuclear fusion engines (using the fusion of hydrogen atoms to create energy much like our Sun) will be available to the richer of the public, while everyone else will end up with electric cars. Yes, nuclear fusion energy will be a thing and will quite likely power most of what we do. It will be substantially cleaner than our current unrenewable sources of power. However, it will still require some sort of backbone from a more primitive source of power, plausibly solar after new innovations in the area (one is taking place right now). Poverty will be pretty much solved for the most part by the implementation of a global Universal Basic Income or Negative Income Tax. Healthcare will be payed by the state from money they get through taxes. Education will be free at all levels, as is already the case in some more developed nations (and yes, it DOES work, stop politicizing a one-sided issue). We will have colonies on the Moon and Mars, maybe also on Venus. These colonies will likely be very culturally different from us here on Earth and from all indications will end up outlasting our civilization on Earth, thanks to global warming and the more conservative/centrist and corrupt mainstream of our times failing to act. Quantum computers will be much more than a reality, they'll run most all of the supercomputers and private network servers of tomorrow. Human memories will be able to be downloaded onto computers, however they will still not have figured out quite how to emulate consciousness in machines, so the memories will sit.  
    I'll probably put more predictions here in the not so distant future. Also locked because I know if I don't somebody's going to be angry about how certain facts don't align with their feelings.
  3. Here No Longer

    A Cry for Help

    By Here No Longer,

    I feel like I sound like a broken record complaining about how my life sucks, but here it is. It's no secret, I am miserable the way I live right now. I am miserable period. I've progressively been feeling the noose of despair tighten around my neck as I try to cut it off with the dullest razor blade imaginable (representing the little hope I have left). But I'll try to discuss more of the root of why that is (or at least the parts that involve me), hopefully in more detail than I have over and over again in thread posts. I'm really sorry if it makes me seem like I just want attention, though the truth is that I don't. I just have this constant feeling that I need to share my problems with somebody else before my deep-seeded pain takes over. Here are the major things:
     
    Anxiety

    Honestly, Anxiety is probably the worst problem and it bleeds into every other problem I'll list here. It is never ending. My anxiety problems have been around forever. I remember having anxiety attacks as a kid almost every time the phone rang. It was debilitating then, and it still is now. I still get a slight tightening in my chest, and a loss of breath. It may sound like it's improving, but it's really been getting worse over the past couple of years. I've mentioned this before, but I have mini anxiety attacks on an almost daily basis. Over something as silly and minor as a lack of light and an open window. I know it's ridiculous, and my ex-boyfriend would tell you the same when I said it was him. Truth was, it was me. Me suddenly starting to feel irrationally insecure in a house 5 minutes from the nearest town. Me on the verge of having a heart attack over an absurdly remote possibility. As I already mentioned, I've had this problem for a long time. I can't go a week without at least one episode that fits the clinical definition of an anxiety attack... This whole thing contributes I'm really worried that one day It'll get so bad I'll shove pills down my throat because I finally gave up, completely. The voices telling me there's no reason to live anymore will beat out my concern for how everyone else will feel when they learn that I overdosed on my Dad's pain pills. 
     
    Social Isolation

    Most of the time I really like being by myself. Nobody judging me, nobody annoying me, and nobody otherwise bothering me. But here's the thing... It has gone way too far. I don't talk to people, at all. I'm the one sitting in the corner not saying a word. I know that's okay, but the truth is that it only is to an extent. When you don't say something you need to say, or more specifically you don't talk to someone in real life when you need help, that can be a problem. I've become lonely in my little bubble, and it's tearing me apart. Nobody around me seems really worth bringing in. It's not only because of that idea that keeps in my head, but it's because I'm incapable of bringing people in. It's one of the reasons I've long suspected that I suffer from Asperger's Syndrome, the mildest form of Autism. I'd love it if it really were as simple as "be more social", but the truth is that it isn't. If it were, than I'd have fixed this problem already. I've tried talking to people more, but the thing is that what comes out of my mouth isn't precisely what should, and that I find anxiety rearing its ugly head and rendering me unable to speak to anyone. The loneliness is also an issue, as well. Having a boyfriend would likely help these issues, but how can I expect to have one, when I can't talk to him? I know that it was a part of the problem with my relationship with my ex, and it's an issue that cripples every relationship that I've ever had...
     
    Laziness
     

     
    It's true, I'm chronically lazy. I know that if I said I graduated high school with a 94.3 average it would make it sound like that isn't the case, but the only reason it wasn't at least a 96 was because I got zeroes, because I was too lazy to think to turn in my work and too lazy to properly organize my backpack. This laziness has spread into other endeavors. This is a great part of why my life's been stuck in a rut since I graduated High School in 2016. I haven't acquired a job yet, I've taken years to develop a single, flawed game that is still in fairly early development, and I've done nothing to show for myself. Every time I attempt to do something, I get burnt out and my passion for it completely goes away, leaving me a husk with no real aspiration. All I do these days any more is watch TV and create pointless Paladins tier lists that I will never post, along with the game I've been working on (for maybe an hour a day). Heck, this idea was taken from a blog post that @Woohoo made in February... 
     

     
    The whole list of my issues is really long, and includes but is not limited to:
    s*** memory when it comes to most things emotional outbursts a painfully obvious lack of self-esteem a reliance on the Internet zero people skills, or others really  no dexterity whatsoever hearing things that aren't real suicidal thoughts, and occasionally actions  
    So, yeah sorry for copying somebody else's blog post topic for the second time, sorry for being overbearing, and sorry for wasting everyone else's time and effort trying to keep me afloat. I feel like I need to apologize for far more than that, and honestly I don't know what to apologize for and it makes me feel even worse about myself. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub indeed.
     
  4. Here No Longer
    I never figured I would write a Part 2 to my original blog post, but I got inspirations from a status written by @Kyoshi mentioning the need to leave home because life f***ing stinks, and it angers me to know it's my dad's fault.. Wrote a post of my own in reply (I meant not to impose, it did kind of sound that way, my apologies), and this will be the long version of it. At my house, it's gotten so bad that soon enough I'll have no choice but to move away from my dad. I think I could explain it like this: My dad is making things WORSE for me than they would be otherwise (aside from if I were homeless, but even then in a town of a couple thousand like S_____ where I live, being homeless doesn't necessarily happen because of the people).
    He's a big part of the reason I have less than $200 to my name right now, and even then most of that was from helping out my grandma with sorting through my great uncle's belongings (which yes, he was there also), or other things to that effect. I've only been able to hang on to it for so long because at least he's not that horrific at keeping himself afloat that he's going to take (technically not stealing, because he's the representative payee on the bank account) the rest of my money. I've been led to believe that in the first year since I graduated, he spent $10,000 of my own money, and it sickens me. Sure, it's understandable to have spent part of it to help me out, but... ALL OF IT? Where does it GO? Oh, yes. It goes towards his pigs, which is what I believe he spent my money on (most of which was from my mother's inheritance, which was INTENDED to buy clothes and groceries)... Now there's no internet, no air conditioning (which in Texas, is a NECESSITY in the summer months), little food to eat, nothing to drink except the tap water (that nobody else will drink because it makes them SICK), and an infestation of pests including mice, wasps, and spiders... 
    He's had his pigs for 10 years now, and by my calculations, the pigs have somehow put him and everyone around him (including me) behind a grand total of $45,000, and that's just the PIGS... I never once saw any reason to really have faith in it, honestly. I knew better even as a kid than my dad did in his adulthood. He should have known that he was going to just put himself in serious debt, because he builds this elaborate pen for them, feeds them (which is a pretty huge operating cost) and they only get him about $300 a piece when he sells them.  You can probably see the problem with that, considering he only sold a couple a month on a really good year... Which compares not to the amount of money he F***ING WASTED. Oh and he doesn't waste money, either. He also is FANTASTIC at wasting time, his and mine alike.
    He doesn't stop bothering me. He'll always be saying he needs to do something, but actually be doing nothing but harassing me and making stupid juvenile humor at my expense. This wastes my time because I can't work on what I need to be, and I'd probably have gotten my project stuff done at least a month sooner, if not longer. He always likes to start stupid discussions about Trump and how everyone lies about him. He's got a point, but it applies to BOTH sides. The side who hates him can't stop bashing him, and the side who will never be made to dislike him can't stop doing the opposite. And both constantly LIE for the sake of their respective agendas. This leads me to another problem I have with him: we're extremely incompatible.   
    He and I are dissimilar people to such a degree that it makes him hard to live with. I like gaming and cartoons, while he has dumb reasons for hating both. He's a farmer (a bad one as I previously stated), while I don't really care much for farm work. His political views are far right, but mine are definitely a ways to the left (problem with somebody like my dad that can't listen to the other side of anything). He stays up until the wee hours of the morning watching TV and sleeps in front of it, but I usually prefer to sleep around 10. He likes the taste everything he grows in his garden, while there are a good few things I would prefer off the menu.... You get the picture. We are in (almost) no way compatible. 
    All of this has been feeding my emotional and financial woes for a while now, and I'm getting sick of it. I really can't stay here. If I do, I'm more than likely going to kill myself. This is no threat, just an eventuality. My situation will get so bad, so hopeless, that I'll steal 40 or so Acetaminophen pills from the cabinet (that he takes for what are likely rheumatoid arthritis pains) and take them all. It would hurt other people's feelings, yes, but it would end the pain. It would end the suffering. It would end the feeling of being a burden to everyone else... It would end everything, and that would be much more preferable than dealing with this torment. 
  5. Here No Longer
    Yet another "Cry for Help" post. I feel like somebody's got to think that this is getting old. But this one concerns thoughts I've had for a while. I'll just get to the point...
     
     
     
     
    I Believe that I'm an Aspie

     
    I know I repeatedly express this feeling, but I feel this need to express my belief that I have Asperger's. I don't know what that need is about (probably the anxiety surrounding it), but I just can't not express it. I have a lot of symptoms that perfectly fit including, but not limited to: social awkwardness, developmental issues (shoe-tying, bed-wetting, and handwriting development in particular), repetitive behaviors, a select number of specific interests, emotional issues (particularly anxiety and depression) and issues expressing them outwardly, repetitive twitches and spasms, talking to myself more than I do with other people, sound sensitivity, an extreme sensitivity to physical pain, social isolation, and being proficient at only specific things. This has caused serious problems in my own life, including communication problems with my teachers and a lack of initiative applying for jobs. I need to get help for this I think, but I'm unfortunately incapable in my current circumstance. It has really, really harmed me, but what can I do if I can't afford anything or go anywhere to get real help, you know?
     
     
     
    My Gender Identity Issues

    My gender identity was a frequent topic of discussion when I was on my old account. I was transgender, then I was bi-gender, then I was non-binary, then I just dropped the whole gender thing completely. I'm not entirely sure what I am now. The thing is that I've found that logic and reasoning kind of eliminates the whole idea of multiple genders. I used to believe that there were 11 genders in total, but now I only believe there's 2. But the thing is, my past experiences and my feelings don't jive with logic here. I've always felt at least sort of like a woman in at least some fashion and have always felt sort of off-put by my masculinity. To be honest, it disgusts me in a lot of ways. I know that the people who say "there are only two genders" will tell me that I'm just trying to get attention, but the truth is that I'm not. This is a real issue for me, not feeling right in my own body. Feeling as conflicted and awkward as Stevonnie (Steven Universe) looks. I'm just so uncertain about it all. I feel like I want to express myself more, but I also feel like I shouldn't for the fear that it just won't feel right.
     
     
    Sorry for wasting everyone else's time again with these dumb blog posts I keep making. Seriously, they accomplish nothing in real life. I know they bring me a sort of relief of some of my anxiety (some meaning a lot in normal people terms and a little in my terms), but nothing really comes out of them. Why do I keep posting these instead of writing a suicide note? At least that will bring some relief to everyone else if I ultimately decide to end it all. They'll understand my emotional pain much better, and won't just think of my suicide as some sort of random event without reason. I know there must be an answer to that if I just keep on suffering like this... Right? If there weren't, I'd have overdosed on Ibuprofen by now. I don't know if that question was rhetorical or not anymore.
  6. Here No Longer
    I have absolutely had it with people who, when you make an ATTEMPT to have a meaningful discussion with them on an issue, pretty clearly have their own agenda and then lie and say that they don't have said agenda. I've seen it too many times on this forum to count alone (especially that one place that I wish I would stop posting in altogether because what I have to say, however much it's basically common sense at this point, deserves a bashing by somebody with a blatantly obvious and generally absurd agenda, political or otherwise). This type of garbage is intellectually insulting as well as completely and utterly uncivil.
     
    This is intellectually insulting on the basis of a very well-known and generally true idiom: Actions speak louder than words. Indeed they do. A great example of such a thing on this topic is. Say, you think that people of all varieties should be treated the same, and you type out that opinion in a forum post. Then, somebody comments on it saying "well, these people don't because there's a bad apple among them." Of course, you, a reasonable person, make a post how that's a blatantly obvious logical fallacy in the form of a strawman (as it has nothing really logically backing it). Then they decide to totally backstep on what they just said, and then you call them out on that because of course they are lying for the sake of making themselves not seem anti-X (and also saying they aren't anti-X). But that idiom suggests (and anyone of sound mind can agree) that their earlier comments on the subject and the fact they even had to post them in response to something as well-meaning as what you posted are indicative of their TRUE feelings on the issue. In this specific example, the person you would be trying to debate with is clearly a bigot of some variety trying to hide behind a logical fallacy and words that mean quite literally nothing in context (Yes, this has happened to me. Actually, it's happened to me just like this example at least a couple of times). 
     
    This is uncivil because it makes it IMPOSSIBLE to debate with them and have an actual, meaningful discussion on the specific issue at hand. I mean the very act of them contradicting themselves so blatantly for the sake of making themselves look better is uncivil for obvious reasons. But the whole discussion is tarnished even not considering that. But then they'll act like you're trying to suppress them, which of course you aren't. You allowed them their turn to speak and you DID give them a platform, right? Well look where that got US! Anyways, it is tarnished because it clearly has no value to this kind of person in the first place. If it did, they wouldn't contradict themselves like this to try to go after you and make YOU sound bad because their agenda is more important than civility. Funny thing here is, most people like this will try to drag YOU through the mud and try to upset you to the point where your frustration starts to boil over for understandable reasons (and this can happen even if you have a good amount of self-control). I mean as I've stated previously the act of doing this is intellectually insulting, and depending on the issue at hand and how personal it is to you, it may also seriously hurt you on an emotional and even a personal level to see the $#!+ getting flung around. I mean seriously, if they try to personally attack you based on who you are (which depending on the topic, they might bring it up), it's obviously NOT a civil discussion! Even if they don't it's still uncivil to try to upset the person they're "trying" (NOT) to reason with nonetheless.
     
    I'll also note why I put the political tag on this: 90+% of the time this happens, it's a political discussion, about a sensitive topic more likely than not. In that case, you can more often than not add "tribality" to the mix of reasons why this shouldn't happen. It's generally indicative of such a mindset, because generally tribal people will not betray the tenets of a very specific belief system, and this is how they attempt to accomplish that in this case by making a discussion, which they've normally tarnished even before this, completely and utterly uncivil to the point where the only actions to be made are either personal attacks or just walking away from the entire thing. Which of course they will say validates their belief system. Which it actually doesn't, and that should be pretty obvious! If they have to take a step such as this, it's clearly them that's in the wrong and obviously "losing" the argument. If they weren't, they wouldn't take this step in the first place to try to nuke the whole discussion. If they were "winning", it wouldn't be rational to do this in any way because this whole act is an act of desperation to try to make themselves look in the right here when they so obviously aren't, even in their own eyes. I note that they also must think they're wrong as well because if they didn't, well, they wouldn't try so lousily to correct themselves. Seriously, in doing this it makes it so obvious that they know they've totally screwed themselves before this to the point that anything else they claim to think here is utterly moot. So, now that I think about it, they must also be really stupid too!
     
    I'll conclude on this note: this brand of nonsense doesn't belong ANYWHERE in any kind of "civil" discussion. It derails the discussion pretty much immediately, and it's indicative of a very closed-minded person that has no intention of actually listening to what you have to say. They act like this more often than not due to their tribalism telling them to do so, so they can attempt to salvage the argument. Well, we're laughing because new flash: IT ISN'T WORKING! I mean I've put four laugh emotes in this post because of  how freaking funny it actually is that these, well, morons, do this. It's infuriating in such a way that it much less irks me than makes me feel like laughing, because of just how ridiculous it really is! However in all seriousness, this behavior is toxic and shouldn't be allowed anywhere near an actual debate. Unfortunately, this is the same internet where opinions are treated like facts and the other way around.
  7. Here No Longer
    Well, I had a stray thought a few moments about making a blog post about autism, and really discuss the topic as a whole. The stray thought was partially triggered by a thought I have circling in the back of my mind that goes something like this: "If I really were to be diagnosed with Asperger's (if you didn't know, it's the mildest form of autism), what would it mean for me?". It came to evolve into something along the lines of "I know I've discussed it a lot before, but . Society lacks awareness of the issue, regardless of how much they may think otherwise.  It's not really that much of a black and white topic, as many people who have invested research into it would understand. If anything, autism in general can be pretty complicated. I know plenty about the issue considering I've been researching into it for the past 3 years or so. 
     
    What is Autism, Really?
    This may seem straight-forward, but it's not. It can be told a number of ways, as it still isn't truly understood and exactly established how exactly to define it. Here's a couple of examples: one from Leo Kanner, a psychiatrist who was one of the first to study autism, and another from the Autistic Society of America, respectively.
    "a developmental disability which affects language and communication, sensory processing and motor skills, cognition, and interaction" "Autism is a complex developmental disability that typically appears during the first three years of life and is the result of a neurological disorder that affects the normal functioning of the brain, impacting development in the areas of social interaction and communication skills. Both children and adults with autism typically show difficulties in verbal and non-verbal communication, social interactions, and leisure or play activities." These two definitions aren't exactly conclusive. Kanner's way of defining It is way more to the point, but the ASA's definition has some nuance lacked by the former. Sure, these definitions are clearly describing autism as anybody invested into the topic would know of it, but they aren't entirely congruous with each other. They both properly describe autism as developmental (the disability part isn't necessarily accepted much anymore by the autistic community). Both also describe issues with social interaction, but here's where they split. Kanner describes it affecting sensory processing, motor skills, and cognition as well.  The ASA on the other hand describes in more detail how it impacts the affected. It states that it occurs within the first three years of life and that it's a complex disorder that isn't truly understood by the psychiatric community, and that autism in itself is a catch-all term. Both are correct in their own ways. But I personally believe this is the way I would define Autism:
    "Autism is an umbrella term for a developmental disorder that affects a variety of functions of the brain including the processing of sensory information, communication, motor skills, and also may effect the emotional stability of the affected. Most also affect cognitive skills. The disorder normally shows signs in the first three years, but some milder forms may not be diagnosed until adulthood, due to the fact that it's generally associated with cognitive deficiency, but they will nonetheless show difficulties in specific areas that may become concerning later in life."
    Wow that was a mouthful. It's basically a combination of both definitions, but a bit modernized as both definitions were a bit aged. In simpler terms, I'm stating that autism is actually a term for several conditions that affect neurological development. That's probably the simplest it could be made, really.
     
    What are the Symptoms of an Autism Spectrum Disorder?
    Whoa. Back up. ASDs have a multitude of complex, sometimes even contradictory symptoms.Nobody diagnosed with autism really crosses off every single box. It's always been more about an interpretation of a variety of symptoms that are indicative of an ASD. Here's some of the characteristics that are usually present in most autists. Note that the way these are presented aren't very specific, and in fact can allude to a vast array of symptoms. I will put them down here, and then relate them to myself to sort of explain what they're supposed to mean.
    Atypical movements. I have a consistent need to pop my knuckles, a very odd gait that changes from time to time (to explain, it's sort of a limp, sort of a long stride, and sort of a march), I also will occasionally rock back and forth in chairs, especially if I don't feel secure in them (in other words if I can't lean back far enough in it...) Communication issues. I don't think I really need to explain this one. Just not being able to communicate in an effective manner.  Unusual responses to sensory input. I have always had issues with the sound of vacuum cleaners, I find them torturous and loud. So when one's going I usually have a habit of making weird noises in imitation of it to block the noise from them out. Unusual development for age. Well, considering I watch quite a variety of cartoons and enjoy them when most people around me my age would just cringe, the fact that I am quite the fan of Pixar, and that I still retain a borderline obsession with video games (particularly "unusual" in this category a love of the Pokémon and Mario franchises). Not to mention that I couldn't tie my shoes until I was 10, and I wet my bed until I was about 14. I also wet myself in public more than once, but that was more of a social anxiety issue. Specialized interests. Well, I feel the need to constantly discuss League of Legends and Paladins related things whether it be with somebody else or (99.99% of the time) myself. Also, my interest in game development kind of falls into this as well. Potentially having problems with the following: anxiety, depression, ADHD, epilepsy, dyspraxia, et cetera.  I can check two of those boxes. I have had unchecked anxiety and depression issues for years now. As for ADHD, I don't think I have it but I do sort of fit the bill, albeit to a smaller degree.  (Most Forms) Cognitive Delays. I actually had some. I was in special education classes until I was in the fifth grade. Even though I excelled in math, I was slow with reading initially. I had a kindergarten reading level in the third grade... That's pretty bad. But by the fifth grade, I had gotten ahead of the curb there as well, so I guess that's where it ended. By the sixth grade, I was able to read the entirety of Watership Down in a matter of a week (trust me, it is long. By long, I mean like the book was in excess of 400 pages... But the book is definitely a good book I'd more than definitely recommend to anyone with the patience to muddle through the beginning 40 pages or so).  These are generally what psychiatrists and psychologists look for in diagnosing somebody with an autism spectrum disorder. They look for problems of those varieties, and if qualified professionals observe you and believe that you check enough boxes, they will diagnose you with a form of autism depending on which you check and don't. It's a bit more complicated than it seems, because different people have different requirements for what they'll diagnose as autistic... 
     
    I'll release a part 2 and maybe a part 3 in the future. Maybe not too soon, but likely after a few days or so. I've really been spamming out these blog posts lately, and there's a chance I may not be able to post for a little while... Oh well... People are probably tired of me just posting more and more s*** anyways. *shrug*
  8. Here No Longer
    Well, I feel  like I could have made this one long post in hindsight. But, I'm past that point now, so here's the second part of a three part series of blog posts. Autism as a diagnosis has only been around for 70 years, and Asperger's has only been around for 20, so it is kind of expected for society to not really understand what the autistic population as a whole are going through. Not to mention, that in part 1 I mentioned the characteristics of autism. Those characteristics are very abnormal and quite noticeable. Though most people would discount them for awkwardness and obsessiveness, the trained eye is able to see through that. But the thing here is that this part is much more concerned with most people than it is with autists. As a whole, however,  I think society is quite unaware, even in comparison to how unaware that I'd think they should be. Why do I think this is the case? Well, here's two reasons (even though there are probably more).
     
    Autism is Depicted Inaccurately in Media
    As I stated in part 1, I would define autism as an umbrella term for a developmental disorder that affects a variety of functions of the brain including the processing of sensory information, communication, motor skills, and also may effect the emotional stability of the affected. Most also affect cognitive skills. The disorder normally shows signs in the first three years, but some milder forms may not be diagnosed until adulthood, due to the fact that it's generally associated with cognitive deficiency, but they will nonetheless show difficulties in specific areas that may become concerning later in life. Going through that piece by piece, I can come to the conclusion that some TV shows, games, and movies try so hard to include autistic characters that they hardly ever get them right. Here's a few examples of them off-hand, and how they're inaccurate.
    Sheldon Cooper from "The Big Bang Theory"- He is actually LITTLE like an actual autist and more like extremely OCD person that literally feels for nobody. Which is so far off it's not even funny, just like the actual show he's in. Spencer Reid from "Criminal Minds"- His social skills are way too good, and his interests are far too diverse. That makes for the assumption that people that are a little bit awkward, are savant-like and nothing else have autism. Which is far from correct, honestly. Raymond Babbitt from "Rain Man" - A lot of the traits are overdone to the point where it makes it seem like you have to be seriously impaired to have any form of autism (which is WRONG). Sadly, THIS is the main influence for how society sees autistic people, so people like (potentially) me would be immediately shrugged off. Yes, there have been quite occasional accurate depictions, but for the most part most inclusions just seem like an attempt to say "oh we have an aspie for a character that's really smart! We're diverse!" When the way they portray them actually puts it into question. They usually must be savants and a little awkward and that's really it. No mention of things like struggling with motor skills, abnormal movement, and nothing involving cognitive delay (which happens even with autists with an above average IQ). That's not right, not right at all. Autism is much bigger than a little awkwardness! Also, there are only a SMALL percentage of autists are savants. I do mean a VERY small percentage.
     
     
    Autism Speaks is a BAD Organization to Represent the Autistic
    Autism Speaks always advertises itself as a group who is legitimately concerned about the autistic... While making it BLATANTLY OBVIOUS that they have ZERO concern for the well being of the autistic whatsoever. Autism Speaks is a hate group that oddly enough doesn't speak for the autistic as a whole. There's plenty of reasons why this is, and I've kept it short enough.
    NONE OF THE BOARD MEMBERS ARE AUTISTIC!!! How could they know what it's like WHEN QUITE LITERALLY NOBODY THERE IS ON THE SPECTRUM?!?!?!  They demonize autism. This is what I meant in my political views blog when I was talking about autistic rights. It's OUR right to be autistic. They don't believe that, and instead it's a disease and a plague. This rhetoric is a big part of what makes them a hate group, as it makes the autistic out to be sub-human. Which is f***ing sick. This is actually ESPECIALLY bad for the autistic because as a group, we are far more prone to depression and anxiety issues, and this is BOUND to cause them! They use Autism Awareness Month and their ads to make the public LESS aware of how it REALLY is to be autistic! Is that intentional? I think the jury's out on that at the moment. But, I must say it's looking like they're going to come back with a guilty verdict. But nonetheless, what does that do for US? They literally partnered with a group that commits VIOLENT ACTS against the autistic! Who am I talking about? The Judge Rotenburg Center. You know what they do to the autistic? They TORTURE THEM AS AN "ATTTEMPT TO TREAT" THEM! They use techniques such as social isolation, physical violence, forced ammonia inhalation, food deprivation, sleep deprivation,  and prolonged restraint in this pursuit, and as of the writing of the Autism Wiki article I'm using as a source, they've killed SIX people like this! And it wasn't that recent I don't think! They were going to change their direction, but no they have NOT. I have seen their ads on TV a few times since one of the chair people died in 2016, and they were replaced by somebody who wanted to change the message as stated by my source, but nothing happened. They still air ads demonizing autism and treating it like t may as well be f***ing AIDS, when IT'S NOT THE SAME! Autism is NOT a disease! It's not something you CURE! Autism is a lot more similar to something like Bipolar disorder (which I think I have a minor form of), where it's something that can be treated, but it's a part of the actual PERSON affected by it. Advocating to change a person's identity over not conforming is f***ing ORWELLIAN!   I really hope that someday that THIS won't be the largest "advocacy group" (my a**) for autism in the future, and I have to say that I actually have hope for this. If we speak up and tell the public how evil they are and give them an alternative, we just might be able to take them down. But the only thing is that they have so much funding that it may be a little difficult to take them on. But you know, the bigger they are, the harder they FALL. Though the first step is to STOP supporting Autism Unawareness Month (That is what it really is)! Stop buying their agenda! This is SO important because this is how they raise money to research into forcibly making the autistic normal, and we CAN'T have that!
     
    There will be a part 3 on this about how autism as an issue should really be addressed, in more detail than I posted in my political views blog post. To sum it up for anybody who didn't read that post or those who didn't get it from here, I believe the autistic have the right to be who they are.
    Another note on some of the semantics in my post, switching between calling the autistic community they and us, you know I think I strongly suspect I'm on the autism spectrum myself and that's a show of it. I say "strongly suspect" because I can't be entirely sure, but in my mind I'm as close as could possibly be to 100% positive that I have undiagnosed Asperger's. Just some clarification there.
  9. Here No Longer
    This should be the last one of this series, discussing autism. As has been discussed, I don't like the way that autism as an issue is handled today, but I think that with leadership, dedication, and initiative the autistic community as a whole could potentially remedy this situation, at least in my opinion. I understand that less than 1% of the population are autists with an IQ above the mentally retarded line, but hear me out here. Fixing this issue won't be a quick process, but it will actually be worth it when we get proper awareness to the issue.
     
    Kill Autism Speaks!
    No, I do NOT mean killing any person. I mean making the organization collapse. Making one of the largest and most prevalent hate groups in America just simply collapse is no easy feat, though. Especially considering how much money Autism Awareness Month pumps in for them. We would have to find a way to attack them in a way that would make the public think "wow these really are evil people aren't they?" Eventually over time this could lead to the intended objective. Killing them off once and for all would improve the awareness the public has of the autistic as individuals instead of their unawareness in thinking it's a disease and a plague. What they should instead be made to ultimately accept is that this is a unique trait of who we are as individuals., It also helps with the end-goal of this sort of operation for there to be more proper representation in media, in other words less Sheldon Cooper types being placed on the autistic spectrum by TV shows just itching to find a way to put an autistic character in a TV show. In other words, treat us like the disabled or dwarves (I don't mean the dwarven race of fantasy games, obviously).
     
    How to Effectively Treat It
    I understand that word could have a sort of stigma in this case, but hear me out. What I mean here is nothing like what Autism Speaks advocates for. What I mean here is to look at the harmful symptoms themselves and find an effective way to treat those symptoms, with medications such as anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds. Also drugs like Seroquel and Zyprexa that are meant to treat schizophrenia and bipolar disorder also provide benefits to the autistic. There are others of these kinds of drugs, but they're either not potent enough, (such is the case with Risperdol) or have too many and too potent of side effects (as is the case with (such is the case with Clozaril. Of course, don't go around telling your doctor to prescribe anything to you though, that's their job (BIG PHARMA). Also, counseling can be important, considering how therapeutic venting about it can be (oh trust me I know, it's part of the reason I posted this series of blog posts in the first place). 
     
     
    Wow this one was really short, but hey it isn't necessarily that complicated to be honest... Just make the public aware of the real issues we face, and then try to combat those issues with the proper treatment, and also make them remember that we're people too and not just some sort of label.
  10. Here No Longer
    I think I've made a few comments on the topic saying that "I don't necessarily blame people for leaving here, as there's been a lot of political extremism and divisiveness lately".
     
    I'll clarify something that sort of contradicts what I've said there: I likely won't leave here. Even if Pony Life seems like hot trash. There's really some nice people in this community and a few friends I've made on here that I would prefer to keep. Also, generally speaking, my experiences with this site have been positive, even if lately it's becoming more of a mixed bag. This really has been quite a great place for me to vent about things I don't generally talk about anywhere else, personally or online. Whether that be my gender identity (though my BF knows and is very much accepting of it, even if he prefers to think of me as a he which is fine), certain issues of mine, or whatever. MOST of the people here are very accepting...
     
    BUT, I will NOT ignore the facts: there's definitely a problem. I personally have seen a lot of divisive and extremist comments, from the far right and PC liberals alike. And frankly I will also say, there are people who I WISH would leave this site. And some of them have, in most cases complaining about the very thing they've perpetrated themselves. These people are a very harmful influence to what is otherwise a generally friendly site. The homophobia needs to stop, the racism needs to stop, but so do baseless accusations of either. The racism I've seen on this site has been staggering in recent weeks, and I've seen homophobic nonsense from even moderators (even an admin has demonstrated homophobia) on this site. This kind of behavior should NOT be okay to, let alone promoted by somebody who's SUPPOSED to be a role model for other members to follow, as well as somebody in charge of ensuring people behave themselves. I can tell you, though, this list only covers roughly 15 or so members that have been problematic and divisive in such a way. These are also very two-faced members which makes it even more troubling. They will put on a tolerant, loving face one moment and then the next spew blatant hate and divisive vitriol. All the while usually pretending other people who aren't, are.
     
    I have addressed the politics of recent events a good few times, and I must say both extremes are very deeply wrong about these issues, even if the far right is more wrong about it than the PC crowd is. But both of these groups on this site are becoming very, very divisive. And I will say if anybody claims I'm being divisive with this, it can be assured that it's them and not me being divisive. In fact, I'm just trying to be reasonable and trying to say we can't accept these sociopolitical fringe groups' divisive agendas if we want to keep our community friendly. I may be done with non-allied straight pride, people worshipping blatantly racist traitors to the US, and people calling others terrorists for no justifiable reason, but I'm also done with people being called racist for not supporting an extreme movement. I'm done with the misinformation that every protestor is violent (when actually the cops are more violent than the protestors), but also the misinformation that anything remotely close to disbanding the police force is anything but a bad idea. I'm seriously f***ing tired of this $#!+. Not this site, but the political, clearly agenda-driven bull$#!+ some people say on it.
     
    If you are one of these divisive people, which you likely know who you are, you are a bad influence, and yes you SHOULD leave. You are actively making this site worse for everyone. Otherwise, we should band together and try to remain a community of people who like or liked the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. We should try not to stress these issues and make this site more about them, while in the process ignoring the REAL meaning of "love and tolerate" and the lessons the show has taught us. Just stop the divisiveness and bickering already. Both sides of the mainstream are wrong, now deal with it and move on. I just want a place where I can be without this nonsense, and I think the rest of us should too.
  11. Here No Longer
    Borderlands 1 v Borderlands 2 v Borderlands 3
     
    Category [Max Possible]
    Borderlands 1 (RM)
    Borderlands 2
    Borderlands 3
    Aesthetic [20]
    [18]
    [16]
    X [19]
    NPCs [50]
    [42]
    X [48]
    [33]
    Playable Characters [30]
    [24]
    X [26]
    [24]
    Story [50]
    [38]
    X [49]
    [37]
    Gun “Feel” [30]
    [28]
    [27]
    X [30]
    Weapon Variety [70]
    [58]
    [62]
    X [66]
    Skill Tree Design [70]
    [57]
    [63]
    X [64]
    Weapon-Based [30]
    X [30]
    [20]
    [23]
    Farming [50]
    [41]
    [30]
    X [45]
    Skill Design [50]
    [42]
    [43]
    X [44]
    General Fun Factor [50]
    [44]
    [46]
    X [48]
    Total [500]
    422
    430 [X]
    428
     
    Aesthetic- Really the graphics don't matter all too much, but Borderlands 3 is the game that takes it here for sure. The guns particularly probably have the best design of all three games quite easily. Borderlands 2 ends up the worst of the three because it's visuals now are starting to seem dated in comparison to the new visuals with quite a few noticeable differences. But this is no biggie.
     
    NPCs- Anybody who's played these games should really be easily able to see how Borderlands 2 takes the cake here. Handsome Jack is quite easily one of the best, well-written, video game villains of all time who's hilarious in his own right even in a game series devoted to a violent sense of humor that leaves the audience maniacally laughing. This is unfortunately where Borderlands 3 falters most though. Ava is straight up terrible, and the lack of many favorites from Borderlands 2 leaves there more to be desired, even among more humorous NPCs and Bosses like Captain Traunt.
     
    Playable Characters- Anybody who knows a little about my preferences will know the answer to this one. Axton single-handedly allows Borderlands 2 a victory in this category, even if I also really liked Krieg (because I do like OG Mordecai and Zane). The other two just don't have anything like the handsome, gorgeous husbando that is Axton... Seriously, he's quite something. No wonder he appears semi-naked in adult magazines inside of Moze's mech...
     
    Story- Borderlands 2 hits this category out of the park. The story of the second game is not only a masterpiece, but a demonstration of the potential of a Borderlands story arc. Roland's death hits the player HARD and really impacts them in a way they won't soon forget. Also the motivations of Jack are VERY well put out there. As for the other two games, Borderlands 1 has a very barebones story... It works, but it's nothing spectacular. Just an adventure to the Vault. Borderlands 3 on the other hand is a bit disappointing here, but I actually won't spoil it, thus the lack of spoiler tags.
     
    Gun Feel- Borderlands 3 simply takes this category and RUNS with it. The guns feel powerful and impactful like you're really firing a gun. The other two simply don't have this, and 2's in fact just feels like you're just using a bullet hose instead of a real gun in comparison.
     
    Weapon Variety- Borderlands 3 also easily takes this category with it's ABSURDLY high number of legendaries. You've got stuff as simple in design as the Crossroads that's essentially an SMG version of the old Conference Call, and then you have really unique weapons like the Duc that's essentially what happens when a Jakobs revolver meets a Torgue gun. Borderlands 1 is a clear loser here because there's so many far too similar legendaries that don't differentiate themselves (Looking at you, Tediores).
     
    Skill Tree Design- This is a close one, but Borderlands 3 takes it for its level 2 Action Skills, even if I have some gripes when it comes particularly to Fl4k's skill trees, because he's just overtuned and there's also some bad design with his ability to make weapons that should never crit able to. Borderlands 2 is a VERY close second particularly with the design of Krieg's skill trees. I absolutely adore the care they took to design a character that just rampages into battle, damaging himself but absolutely destroying everyone in his wake. Borderlands 1 is a distant third, thanks to Roland's skill trees being $#!+.
     
    Weapon-Based- This category was made specifically to tell you the thing I miss most about Borderlands 1 that ISN'T in 2 or 3. GUN PROFICIENCIES. I totally loved this mechanic, and instead of refining it further what do they do other than introduce one of the worst design choices in Borderlands history, the Badass Ranks (not censoring because that's just what they're called). Small buffs you get for seemingly no reason that apply to EVERY character... Guardian Ranks in 3 are better designed, but just please give us back our gun proficiencies (and our broken BL1 Shotguns).
     
    Farming- Borderlands 3 easily takes this category as it allows you to choose how you want to farm your legendaries. Whether you like farming one boss or you like Borderlands 2's style (which is the inferior way by the way, just saying), you can farm them up how you like. Now for BL2's way of farming, I HATE IT. It's tedious, long, and just ridiculous for some legendaries, and that's not even MENTIONING pearls. That's easily my LEAST favorite part of BL2 and it's biggest problem.
     
    Skill Design- Nothing really to say here except they just got progressively better at what they already were doing since the start, and that is to create interesting and diverse playstyles for each character. Still missing the Truxican Wrestler class mod though, and also the greatness that was Pistol Mordecai.
     
    General Fun Factor- Really just a category for anything I left out, and Borderlands 3 does it all the best of the three.
     
    Overall Winner- Borderlands 2, but barely. The problems with 3's story and NPCs are just too difficult to ignore, even if the gameplay is an improvement in every possible way.
     
    Also, republishing so everyone can see this. Shame on me.
  12. Here No Longer
    Well, I had a random thought, and I think it's time to make a tier list for BL2 Legendary Weapons. Well, here's my opinions on them. At least all the ones I can readily remember being in the game. 
     
     
     
    SS: Unkempt Harold, Slagga, Fastball, Conference Call

    S+: Lyuda, Quasar, Amigo Sincero, Badaboom, Ogre, Norfleet, Bitch

    S-: Maggie, Leech, Hornet, Bonus Package, Gunerang, M2828 Thumpson, Hector's Paradise

    A+: Fire Storm, Storm Front, KerBlaster, Bonny, Gub, Baby Maker, Sledge's Shotgun, Infinity

    A-: Longbow, Hellfire, Volcano, Nukem, Fire Bee, Chain Lightning, Skullmasher

    B+: Thunderball Fists, Invader, Hammer Buster, Flakker, Nasty Surprise, Emperor, Veruc 

    B-: Mongol, Striker, Pandemic, Logan's Gun, Madhous

    (C): Deliverance, Rolling Thunder, Bunny
  13. Here No Longer
    Pre-Sequel has always been treated as the black sheep of the Borderlands series by many fans, and I'll agree with them on that. I avoided this game until recently because I couldn't initially get into it, but I had a change of heart. I played it. Today, I'll be answering these questions: Are the flaws with this game really that massive, or are they really not that big of a deal? Is this game actually bad? That's what's up for discussion here. Before I get into it though, the format of this will be a lot like a series done by a favorite YouTuber of mine named Fawful's Minion called "Blessed or Messed." If you aren't familiar, I'll be placing a point value on positive and negative traits of the game (except I'll use a different points system) and I'll make a judgment from which number ends up greater and by how much. I'll just start with the good.
     
    This game, mechanically speaking, actually retains most of what makes the Borderlands games great (Yes, most, and that will come up later). The loot system (although the more flawed one from Borderlands 2) remained completely intact, the gun variety is still there, it kept it's sense of humor, and the gameplay still feels like you're playing Borderlands. It's the fast-paced, first person shooter and RPG hybrid that we know and love still and that in itself is quite great. I mean it is expected, but the gameplay is still quite solid. +10 The platforming in Zero-Gravity, although a little easy even by Borderlands standards (hey it isn't a platformer!), feels absolutely AWESOME. You can utilize the lack of gravity to your advantage in navigating levels with an amount of speed and thoroughness that's absent in other games (although bunny hopping and grenade hopping are rather fast ways to move around in Borderlands 2 and 1 respectively). Also, it feels like it was executed in such a way that it almost feels natural after a while.  +3 (Two plus one more because of the Slam mechanic) I really like the premise of the story. It's always refreshing to see a game from the villain's perspective, and see how they justify their own actions. It brings a level of depth to the plot that makes for a lot of interest on my end. It's really helpful in the case of Handsome Jack to have this because he made feeble attempts in trying to justify himself and demonize you in the original game. +2 Am I the only one who wishes that there were a character like Athena in another game? I think her kit has easily the best design of everyone's in this game. You can either play around elemental damage, your action skill, or massively painful melee attacks. She also complements the addition of Cryo perfectly. +2 Oh I forgot. A point for the addition of Cryo. Although it's way too powerful, I really like the crowd control mechanic, and it was executed fairly well. +1 The characters you play as ACTUALLY TALK NOW. Seriously, they respond to NPCs in certain conversations. It's a nice touch of polish. +1 This game added a dimension to Lilith specifically that I can appreciate. This game actually makes her look really bad, and I like it. +1 Some of the side quests are actually pretty entertaining. Nothing quite like Face McShooty's quest from Borderlands 2, but I found some humor in them. Especially the Torgue quest, because anyone who can't find Mr. Torgue amusing doesn't have a soul... +1 The game does a decent job of further building on the Borderlands universe. Yeah, just decent. +1 (Total: +21)
     
    Now moving onto the bad...
    I said the PREMISE of the story was good. The story itself though? It is the WEAKEST of the series. BY AND FAR. It did almost nothing to justify Jack's actions during the game or Borderlands 2. The plot had several holes, and didn't really mesh well with the rest of the series, either. Why exactly would the vault hunters ALIGN THEMSELVES WITH THE PERSON THAT TOOK ALL THE CREDIT FOR OPENING THE FREAKING VAULT? It's convenient enough ANYWAYS that they're even ON Elpis (they're there on... VACATION?)... It seems more like it should have been DLC than an actual game in this regard. -4 The O2 meter was an ASTOUNDINGLY dumb design choice. I understand Elpis has no atmosphere, and you couldn't breathe without oxygen, but that cannot and WILL NOT justify a mechanic that punishes you for trying to get around, or FORCES you into standing around doing nothing for an amount of time that adds up QUITE quickly. Not even to mention that the only reason they'd add this isn't consistent with the blatant lack of realism the series has. -3 They kept Badass Ranks. I can't believe that they'd keep literally the WORST thing about Borderlands 2... -3 Why exactly do the laser weapons of this game feel totally redundant to me? Is it because they could have been replaced by Sniper Rifles or SMGs with similar effects? Oh why am I asking this question, when the answer is quite obviously yes. This weapon category contributed next to NOTHING to this game, and I hope they replace it with similar weapons of different types in Borderlands 3, or maybe make their effects apply to a specific manufacturer. -2 Moxxi being blatantly out of character is downright inexcusable. The attempt to brush it off really didn't work on me. Not even to mention that attempt wasn't even referring to the ACTUAL PROBLEM! It was referring to... her make-up being different and her covered up southern accent? Seriously? -2 The boss fights in this game are so badly designed... None of these fights was remotely interesting or compelling to me at all... -2 NO. FREAKING. SLAG. I don't care if it doesn't precisely line up with the game canonically. I MISS MY SLAG. -1 Nurse Nina is literally a walking "strong, Russian-sounding woman" stereotype that reminds me WAY too much of Zarya from Overwatch for some reason. Zed was an amazing character, who probably had some of the funniest lines in the entire series, and they replace him... with that? Not acceptable. Just not acceptable. -1 Congratulations for butchering Mordecai's character even MORE. You make him look like a bumbling drunk has-been who can't stop stealing second winds and annoying you with a bad impression of his old voicing, and then you make him look like a complete moron? He was totally badass in the first game... What went wrong? -1 Aside from Athena's kit, I didn't really like the design of the other characters. None of them have quite the appeal of the playable characters from the other games. -1  
    (Total: -20)
     
    This game may be the black sheep of the series for good reason, but it's not really a bad game. It still retains what makes Borderlands great, and puts in interesting twists. Sure, it proved that Gearbox and 2K Games should never trust 2K Australia to make a Borderlands game EVER AGAIN, but it's still going to get a solid 7/10 from me. I can still see a degree of enjoyment here, and a unique experience that is worth playing, though I'd recommend not doing so not too many times more than once. The first two games are much more worth playing over and over with every character, and I'd even recommend doing so. But here, all I could recommend is maybe two saves... Past that point, you have to have better things to do with your time than playing this.
  14. Here No Longer
    Well, here's something a BIT different, and a random bone to toss at @ChB (hopefully that was termed right... If it wasn't, you probably know what I meant to say. I'm trying to say it's a random "gift" of sorts). I thought of this after watching Cosmodore's video ranking every classic SpongeBob episode (Seasons 1-3) from Worst to Best (I know it's over a year old now, but that's what initially inspired this). SpongeBob was once among the best cartoons of all time, and there's PLENTY of reason for that to almost be accepted fact for animation entusiasts. SpongeBob has seriously decayed from There's over a HUNDRED of them, so it would be too difficult to actually rank them, thus the tiered format (and even then the tiering of these is, well, quick considering how many there are). Also, If you don't know, the color scheme is supposed to be all of the colors SpongeBob has on him, aside from black and white (By the way, yes his chin is purple sometimes, like on the cover of Battle for Bikini Bottom) ... Of course, with the quality this series once had consistently, there's really a lack of episodes at the bottom...
     
    Phenomenal-
    Band Geeks, Pizza Delivery, SB-129, Arrgh!, Christmas Who?, Frankendoodle, The Fry Cook Games, Nasty Patty, Idiot Box, Wet Painters, Krusty Krab Training Video, Chocolate with Nuts, Mermaid and Barnacle Boy V, The Camping Episode
     
    Great-
    Help Wanted, Plankton!, Squeaky Boots, Culture Shock, F.U.N., Scaredy Pants, Karate Choppers, Sleepy Time, Neptune's Spatula, Your Shoe's Untied, Squid's Day Off, Dying for Pie, Squidville, Life of Crime, Survival of the Idiots, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III, Shanghaied, The Secret Box, The Graveyard Shift, Procrastination, Sailor Mouth, Squid on Strike,  The Algae's Always Greener, Club SpongeBob, Just One Bite, Mermaid and Barnacle Boy IV, One Krabs Trash, Can You Spare a Dime?, Rock-a-Bye Bivalve, New Student Starfish, I Had an Accident
     
    Good-
    Reef Blower, Hall Monitor, Sandy's Rocket, Opposite Day, Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost, The Chaperone, Employee of the Month, Rock Bottom, Walking Small, Hooky, Something Smells, Big Pink Loser, Imitation Krabs, Wormy, Grandma's Kisses, Prehibernation Week, I'm Your Biggest Fanatic, The Smoking Peanut, Welcome to the Chum Bucket, Krusty Love, SpongeGuard on Duty, Doing Time, Snowball Effect, No Weenies Allowed, Krab Borg, Clams, The Great Snail Race, Born Again Krabs, Missing Identity, SpongeBob Meets the Strangler
     
    Decent-
    Bubblestand, Jellyfishing, Home Sweet Pineapple, Jellyfish Jam, Nature Pants, MuscleBob BuffPants, The Paper, Texas, Bossy Boots, Bubble Buddy, Patty Hype, No Free Rides, Squirrel Jokes, Gary Takes a Bath, Artist Unknown, (Sandy, SpongeBob, and the Worm), My Pretty Seahorse, As Seen on TV, Squilliam Returns, Ugh, Mid-Life Crustacean, Pranks a Lot
     
    Mediocre- Naughty Nautical Neighbors, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, Pickles, Suds, Fools in April, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy II, Dumped, Pressure, Valentine's Day, Jellyfish Hunter, The Bully, Krabby Land, Plankton's Army, The Sponge Who Could Fly     Bad- I'm With Stupid, I Was a Teenage Gary, Party Pooper Pants
     
     
    Yet again, it wasn't really made over a lot of time, so I may not be remembering things the way I thought I did on some episodes. When I initially made this list, for example, there were plenty of episodes I forgot existed, and also some that I actually got confused until I looked at plot summaries. I haven't watched a ton of these episodes I recent times either and that doesn't help my recollection.
  15. Here No Longer
    I've been aching to start a series of blog posts highlighting mechanical designs of specific games, assessing their problems at an in-depth level and giving critiques. It helps in my own pursuit of creating my own tabletop game (that will have balancing and the meta as a heavily emphasized component), and it's also informative to anyone actually playing the game itself. I will start with a game that's basically become my bread-and-butter: Paladins. I know it's a weird game to start with considering it doesn't have the popularity of games like Overwatch or League of Legends, but bear with me on this.
     
    Paladins: Champions of the Realm is a Hero Shooter with MOBA elements designed and published by Hi-Rez Games (Now, specifically Evil Mojo Games). It features four classes that each specialize in specific roles, an intuitive items system, and the ability to customize the playstyle of that champion in specific. The game's main game mode focuses on capturing an objective, and then afterwards pushing a payload to gain points towards winning a match. Each grants 1 point (and so do successful defenses), and the first to 4 points wins. A comment I already have, and a flaw I've noticed. Okay, so the game has a system that works like earned currency that allows you to buy items. Well, that currency system is different for each role. The flaw in this is that it A. discourages flexibility, and B. gives specific advantages to specific classes, particularly the Damage class that quite literally gets more credits than the rest... by dealing damage. Make credits even across all roles. It may seem like it would be counter-intuitive from a design point of view because it makes characters less graspable for new players, but seriously I hardly knew this EXISTED back when I started out. Plus, you can tell by their kits, their health pools, and even to a degree their movement speed what roles said champions play. 
     
    Now let's get into the nitty-gritty issues.
    Anyone who has played this game for a decent amount of time knows that tanks, well, tanks are very powerful. The problem is that a lot of these frontline champions are good both offensively and defensively, regardless of their talent choice. That is a problem. I think the obvious solution would be to design kits where it's obvious that the tank is weaker defensively and is better at zoning instead of taking objectives, and make some that are incapable offensively. This can be done with decisively placed nerfs and buffs in some cases to solidify what kind of tank they are. Whether they're more of an anchor tank or a main tank. I know that there are obvious examples of such, but the issue is that even those tanks are offensively capable. Take Inara for example. She may seem like she isn't a problem offensively, but confusion in her kit lies with her ability to go straight into an enemy's face, CC them, and then even kill them. You see the problem? She shouldn't be able to do that if she's a main tank! I know that certain people will say "but this will make double tank worse, because these bruisers wouldn't be able to tank." And I say that's a load of BS. These bruisers would be plenty capable of it. They'd just have to be more assertive and less passive about it. Take Ruckus for example, a tank that's basically out of the meta because he has no sustain. I actually think his sustain should be BUFFED, but I think that it needs to make him more of an offensive bruiser that gets in your face like he should be designed to function. Right now, he's basically a damage champion that's been misclassified as a frontline. He needs more sustain, but sustain that allows him to be aggressive. Like for example, I think that his ultimate should have much greater fall-off but also a built-in overshield as well as CC immunity. This would allow him to get into the face of enemies and use Hexafire without worrying about getting easily instakilled by the enemy DPSes. That's what is necessary here. On the note of Inara, I agree she needs mobility, but I say make it mobility that's designed with DEFENSE in mind. Like get rid of her stupid Warder's Field and put in an ability that allows her to cast a jutting rock that slows enemies in front of her and launches her backward in the target direction. That may sound like a comical ability, but it would allow her to get away and heal up while the enemy is affected by the slow that would be incurred. Oh, the issue of Cauterize. This card gives up to 90% healing reduction on-hit for 1.5 seconds. This is INSANE, okay. It's affected the game in such a way where healers need TONS of consistently overpowered healing to keep up during the mid-later stages of a match when the enemy DPSes spec into it, which they will early because of how INSANE it is. This NEEDS to be reduced PRONTO. I don't care if it ushers in a high TTK double support meta temporarily, but please NERF it. I say a quick fix would be to nerf the ranks to 25/50/75. But a more INTUITIVE fix would be to nerf it to 15/30/45 and then nerf the necessary healing abilities to compensate. Nerf Seris' heals, Nerf 'Damba's heals, Nerf Jenos' heals, and DEFINITELY nerf Grover's. I would not touch the healing of Grohk or Pip though. It would help them out massively and Pip may become a top tier pick because of it. Then I say nerf his CC and health pool. He has a lot of CC, and he has the smallest hurtbox out of every champion in the game (aside for his big freaking head), so nerfing those would balance him out. As for Grohk, he'd be likely a little powerful, but considering all Lo-Rez has put him through, it's more than acceptable that he becomes a high tier healer. I think I should also make a list of the unnecessary items and the simple fixes to all of them. Deft Hands- just buff 'Damba's reload speed a little, and Buck's plenty and it should be little issue. As for Dredge, yeah him too. Replace it with a card that grants max-health based TRUE damage based on the damage you deal. This would aid in eliminating the double tank meta that's been predominant in the game for a while now. Illuminate- Just nerf stealth mechanics, to make them more of cloaking mechanics. Where you can see a rough outline of them, it rewards those who are aware and punishes those who don't pay attention to it. Replace that for in-combat damage reduction to compensate for the other new card. This helps the newly formed off-class of bruisers a lot in their pursuit of meta domination. (Muahaha! Terminus will KILL YOU ALL!).  Buff most non-tank health pools so that way they also have a degree of sustain so that way tanks have yet another counter-measure and the TTK as a whole goes up to compensate for the healing and tank nerfs I would vouch for and help ESPECIALLY FLANKS. HOWEVER, nerf the F*** out of a few damage champion's bursts (Cassie, Lian, Drogoz, et cetera)… PLEASE? Please, for the love of this game, REWORK Torvald. Just, please. Decide whether he's supposed to be a support or a tank. If he should still be a tank, may I suggest making him tanky and defensive like he used to be until people stupidly complained about his lack of damage (which to be fair he DID have)?   
    With these changes, tanks would not be meta, supports wouldn't be left to sit on the objective unless you have a more offensive bruiser type tank like Terminus, Ruckus, or likely Ash, Damage dealers wouldn't be almost instakilled half of the time with little counter play by their own ranks, and supports would be just as good late as they were early. At least I think. Any recommendations to amend this list would be greatly appreciated. For now, goodbye and thanks for reading this first-of-it's-kind blog post. I hope to do another in the future soon on Team Fortress 2, so stay tuned for that.
  16. Here No Longer
    Well, here it is. The inevitable political blog post... In this post I will make short summations of my beliefs on a variety of topics. I'm doing this for four reasons. Firstly, so that way I don't feel the urge to post in the toxic cesspool that is the Debate Pit (Debate Symposium is way too polite of a name for it). Secondly, it feels like they confuse some people with the narrow-minded perspective of every issue being left vs right. That ISN'T always the case! I agree with the right on some things, but mainly on things that, from a more nuanced perspective, are not really left vs right issues like neo-liberals or neo-conservatives would want you to believe. And thirdly, to say f*** you to the fake left democrats of the world. My voice will be heard whether you like it or not! And lastly, I do this because I really don't feel the need to explain them to those who choose to object to them. If you see things differently, fine. Just don't start s*** with me. Also, I'll give a trigger warning. If you are easily offended, stop reading this post now, because I guarantee you'll be screaming at me later.
     
    Guns. Guns should be legal as long as they aren't FULLY automatic (even burst-fire is potentially fine) or have a magazine size larger than 20 rounds.  Taxes. I believe in a very progressive tax bracket. I like the idea of a 49% tax on the highest bracket, and on the lowest maybe 4 or 5%. Also, GET RID OF THE TAX HAVENS!  Drugs. I see no problem with legalizing a lot of them. Maybe not crystal meth, but for marijuana it's only common sense I think. Also, we should END this war on drugs. It is HARMING more than it is helping! Dense-a** sheep and their alternative facts (also known as obvious LIES that they decided to BELIEVE) are not helping. Immigration. I believe that dreamers deserve an opportunity to prove themselves, but drug lords don't belong here. I believe that immigration should be CHEAPER (it costs over $1000 in stupid-a** fees to get a green card for f***'s sake!), but I also believe that sanctuary cities are downright WRONG. Yeah sort of in the middle on the whole issue. But I have to say this: both sides of the issue are completely moronic, but in some ways each of them are right. Healthcare. I believe in Medicare-for-all for everyone. Politicians shouldn't get special privileges, and we shouldn't be thrown to the curb.  Corruption. It's everywhere, and it HAS to STOP! Or else we may no longer have any right to call ourselves a "democratic republic" (though it is true CONGO is supposed to be one)... Miitary Spending. NEEDS to go WAY down! We spend 3 or 4 f***ing times what China does and our military is HALF THE SIZE! Not to mention most of this spending goes towards things we will REALLY never need!  Abortion. I frankly think that for the most part pro-lifers are a bunch of fruitcakes, that frankly have no idea what they're talking about. I see no issue as long as it is done before 29 weeks, though I can see numbers lower than that. National Debt. Should be the first priority to pay it off, or else all of our necessary welfare programs will suffer. Not even to mention that it will eventually affect the way other countries see us. Trade. We need less of these dumb trade unions and we need to increase tariffs on imported goods. Racist Cops. They do exist! There IS some degree of legitimacy to Black Lives Matter. Albeit, a small degree of it. In about three cases on national news that I remember (of a decent few...), the cops should have been charged, one with first-degree murder (yes FIRST DEGREE, not SECOND or THIRD!). Aside from those few cases though, Black Lives Matter is WRONG. However, I do agree there is a problem here that should be addressed. I have a hard time believing there isn't a little discrimination somewhere in this. Just a little though. American Flag vs American Principles. Principles win, every time. So in other words, I don't support the idea of forcing people to stand to the Pledge. It is frankly more patriotic NOT to considering that it is an extension of freedom of speech, in the exact same sense as the right to have a Confederate flag. I think if you support forcing people to stand to the pledge, it's VERY hypocritical of you to also turn around and pride your heritage for being traitors to the union. By the way, yes, I have no issues with the Confederate flag. "Religious Freedom Laws" regarding Gay Marriage- They are ridiculous. If they didn't make wedding cakes for Trump supporters, would YOU want the right to sue them? The right likes to make this issue into something it is not. There is NOBODY saying that it should be illegal to NOT serve them. They're saying that a**holes that don't serve them have every right to get sued for it. LGBT Rights. Being LGBT, I fully support them, until they trample on other people's rights or until they force pro-gay propaganda down the throats of elementary school kids (which my dad inaccurately told me was happening while quite obviously not evaluating the credibility of his source). Since I saw this thread, I say the most important thing to solve this issue worldwide is time as well as tolerance for those who don't support us. They won't accept us if we force the issue on them. Autistic Rights. This isn't one you hear about everyday probably. Autism Speaks is EVIL. Period. They are a HATE group that deserves no funding. If anything, the head honchos of this c*** need to go to JAIL! I believe in the right for people with Autism to live their lives the way they are. We don't need a cure for this, we just need society's acceptance. (I say we here, because of the nature of my perspective on the issue. I believe that I have Asperger's Syndrome, the mildest form of Autism). American Justice and Prison Systems. Both NEED fundamental reworks from the top down. It spends too much money, treats prisoners too well, and has too many people in it. Also, private prisons should not f***ing exist. It's sick to make money like that. My proposition involves shorter sentences in harsher prisons, so that way we don't have to pay to keep them there or for luxuries they don't really need. Things like weight rooms, like actual cafeteria food (From what I've heard, the luxuries they get food-wise are ridiculous)... You know, things there are no reason why prisoners should have access to, but also so they have a chance to get back into society and maybe contribute if prison really made them realize that they don't want to be criminals. Affirmative Action. Affirmative action is a bad thing. It is fundamentally bad for everyone, Black, White, Asian, Hispanic, Native American... IT'S BAD ALL THE WAY AROUND. Unqualified Blacks getting jobs over more qualified Blacks, Whites, or any other race is WRONG. Job opportunity shold be equal for everyone, not more equal for blacks who don't belong in the jobs they have than everyone else. Minimum Wage. Well, here's a hum-dinger. I think it should be FLEXIBLE, and not just a single value, as taxes are. I'm sorry Bernie, but increasing the minimum wage to $15 an hour will hurt small businesses everywhere. It sounds good until you get to there though. The better idea is for the IRS to start doing their JOB! Deliver forms to both workers and company owners asking about how much the workers make, how many employees the establishment has, and how much the establishment earns. Based on the later two of the values, calculate how much they should pay the workers. From the first value, ascertain whether that amount is being paid. If the forms contradict each other, trust the worker. They have much less reason to lie about it.  Also make this wage increase or decrease wit inflation or deflation. Sounds like a slippery slope, I know. But this is probably better than setting it to one number for everyone. Federal Funding for College. The government needs to start paying up for it's country's future. Colleges basically rob their students blind of hundreds of thousands of dollars. All for what? A piece of paper that will get you a job in a year maybe while the interest on your student loans (which you will have unless you have RICH-A** PARENTS!) stacks up. Also, they should only pay the colleges a reasonable amount of money and any need for more than what is necessary here should be a federal offense for the bookies and the higher ups. Death Penalty. I consider it unusual, and unfitting punishment. Note that I didn't say cruel, because it's actually quite the opposite. It's too humane! They should rot in jail instead! Also, the death penalty actually isn't cheap either. They have to maintain the execution chamber and all, which I'd suppose costs an insane amount of money, not even to mention most death row inmates now stay there for DECADES before getting executed because of all the red tape! Just put them in for life with no parole. Treat them to the suffering they deserve. Also, not even to mention in the case of those that actually aren't guilty, they'd get the chance to prove it (of course if anybody would f***ing listen to appeals!). Fake News. Needs to go. Period. No more CNN, no more Fox, no more MSNBC, no more of that. And, yes, the government actually does have the authority to delegitimize them as far as I know, and it's not really being utilized because of all of the FREAKING CORRUPTION! What could replace it is actual journalism, of course if the corruption went away. Also, they need to stop praising EVERY politician that dies. Seriously, I could care less about George HW Bush, and how it's plastered everywhere that he's died is ALREADY beginning to annoy me. Seriously, WHO SHOULD REALLY CARE? He was a mediocre president who's best political moment (My opinion) was calling out Reagan on his economic policy. Gold Standard. Here's where I actually go right on economics. The Gold Standard is necessary right now. We need less inflation, so that way the poor's money is worth more, and so that way there's less for the rich to make, with the government basically making notes willy-nilly whenever they want. The United States as a whole. Not great, but not terrible either. Sure, we technically are the world's largest terrorist organization, and we don't get all of the freedoms listed in the constitution (thanks for the false advertisement, f***ers!), but at least we have the semblance of a democratic society here and that's enough for me. I did a ranking of nations based on how much I'd want to live in them, and the US ranked around 16th on the list, so not bad at all in that sense.  As for voting? I have a question. Would you rather be shot in the back or shot in the face? Or neither? I choose neither. Meaning, I don't freaking vote, because there's NO POINT when your only options are BAD! Socialism as a whole. It's BADLY misdefined by the right and the fake left in an attempt to delegitimize actual leftist economics. Why? I don't think it's that hard to figure out. The word has had a completely unfair stigma surrounding it since the Cold War, almost exclusively because the Soviet Union was a TYPE of socialist and we didn't like them. Communism and Socialism are NOT the same thing. Communism is an authoritarian brand of socialism, and I think believing otherwise is frankly a show of bias and a laughable lack of knowledge about how the left REALLY is. Trump as a president. I already went into this in a Debate Pit post (which was my mistake that I'm surprised I'm not seeing the effects of), but he's a pretty freaking bad president. Trump may have done some good on the Korean front, but I'm starting to think that the peace would have happened without Trump in office, and I'm starting not to understand why that didn't come across my mind sooner. After all, he's the one and the same guy that nearly started a freaking WAR with them over his own freaking ego, and the same guy who's already killed HUNDREDS of innocent people ON PURPOSE...  (And yes, there's no logical reason for this source to lie). What saves him I my mind is that he IS tackling important issues such as corruption in the government, although very slowly. But nonetheless it hardly excuses him from being, by definition, a TERRORIST. It also doesn't help his case whatsoever that he's totally SCREWED the economy for the working class. I was already concerned about the tax policy, but it's worse than I thought. The rich are being allowed to have their cake and eat it too... Seriously, trickle-down economics does NOT work, and it NEVER has. Let's see how we like living in the 1880's again... Seriously, that's what this is becoming. A modern version of the 1880's partially THANKS to Trump! I don't care if you say "but he didn't initially propose it" because HE ALLOWED IT TO GO THROUGH. And that's more than enough to say that he is going to cause the financial train wreck just waiting to happen... Democrats. I can't STAND them, for several reasons, but I have to go over some misconceptions that BOTHER me. First off, they are FAR from left-wing, they only pretend they are which I and others will point out is full of s***. Secondly, they aren't GOING LEFT! SOCIETY'S GOING FURTHER RIGHT! I think that's a freaking no-brainer at this point, but apparently it isn't because society is TOTALLY oblivious to the entire phenomenon! Democrats are literally NOT changing whatsoever. They're a bunch of hawkish, corporatist LIARS who have no moral compass and have NO IDEA how to criticize Trump when he shoots himself in the foot at every opportunity! Saying Trump is bad without an actual argument is actually giving him more SUPPORT! It makes me think even more that their agenda is actually to silence the actual left-wing in the United States. Also, the people who support them still must either be naïve or moronic. Yes, there's literally NO other explanation why ANYONE would support people like Hillary Clinton or ESPECIALLY NANCY PELOSI! None, whatsoever. It doesn't help that most of the people that support them complain about literally everything under the sun, and try to justify it with total nonsense! Republicans. They're a bunch of deranged, hypocritical, spiteful lunatics, and I must say so are a large fraction of their supporters. These people complain about lobbying. What about all the money the NRA pays Republicans for propping up their agenda? Then they complain about spending. If you really cared, you wouldn't advocate spending so much money on the military... They complain about the constitution. The Patriot Act is the most blatant breach of our rights per the constitution I've ever seen, and a REPUBLICAN put that into law! They complain about snowflakes. What about Religious Freedom laws, what about the controversy with the pledge, or what about half of what your favorite Fox News moron says about "leftists"? 'But that's the truth' Bulls*** it's an opinion DON'T YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE?!?!?! For f***'s sake, you're WORSE than the people you complain about! Just stop calling everyone you don't like an SJW and come up with real reasons to not like things! Get a freaking spine, too! You really need one, you vile piece of crap!  
    Quick list of my who I think were the best and worst president in our nation's history:
    Best: Franklin D. Roosevelt, Theodore Roosevelt, George Washington, Harry S. Truman, Woodrow Wilson, Dwight D. Eisenhower
    Worst: Andrew Johnson, James Buchanan, Ronald Reagan, Warren G. Harding, George W. Bush (Junior), Donald Trump
     
    I may edit some of this later on, and I'll more than likely expand it also. But regardless, I really want the toxicity in this blog post to stay at a minimum, because that's part of the point anyways... (which is funny to think about now because I've already had to deal with a ton from fake leftists and a few right-wingers that lurk around the Debate Pit (Symposium is FAR too polite of a term for the place) and try to pick fights by accusing people of things they know are complete and utter bologna, ether that or blatantly lie about their opinions in posts, because that happens too.) 
  17. Here No Longer
    I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm once again posting a tier list for a game I haven't actually played in it's current form (or in this case, at all). A LOT of perceptions of mine have changed since release looking at tournament results and also seeing more potential in some characters and less in others than I initially saw in them. I'm also changing the format slightly. I'll note that these lists are based on a combination of opinion, tournament results (as far as I know), and what I've heard from players in the pro scene (ZeRo, ESAM, the like), so this isn't in any way "objective" nor do I intend it to be. I just intend it to be an evaluation of the game's meta based on my knowledge of it.
     
    Top Tier: Snake, Peach/Daisy, Pichu, Marth/Lucina, Pokemon Trainer, Inkling
    High Tier: Cloud, Pikachu, Ness, Shulk, Olimar, Roy, Yoshi, Sheik, King K. Rool, Wolf, Ike, Mario, Meta Knight, Bayonetta
    High Mid Tier:  Young Link, Isabelle, Pirahna Plant, Fox, Pit, Mewtwo, Richter/Simon, Chrom, Mega Man, Donkey Kong, Ken, Ridley, Dark Samus/Samus
    Low Mid Tier: Luigi, Link, Ganondorf, Sonic, Wario, Corrin, Diddy Kong, Incineroar, Mr. Game and Watch, Dark Pit, Ryu, Lucas, Captain Falcon, Jigglypuff, ROB
    Low Tier:  Zelda, Villager, Palutena, Robin, Falco, Zero Suit Samus, Ice Climbers, Pac-Man, Toon Link, Greninja, Duck Hunt, Bowser
    Bottom Tier: Mii Gunner, Lucario, Wii Fit Trainer, Bowser Jr., Kirby, Mii Swordsman, King Dedede, Mii Brawler
     
  19. Here No Longer
    Well, this used to be a tier list and now I'm turning into a list of my top 5 husbandos. A tier list was hard to keep up with, plus I wanted to elaborate more on why I love certain guys from video games (yes, all of them will be) so much (and I wanted to add new ones). Well here it is I suppose, because I'm so bad with introductions. Before I get into it, I'll give honorable mentions to the TF2 Medic for just his voice and his personality (some of the fanart helps him also), Captain Gordon for being my first husbando and also being such a goof , and Guzma because he's our boy and I have to admit he's kind of cute :3! Now onto the list.
     
     
    5. Fernando

     
    I was initially going to just put him as an honorable mention, but I decided denying myself the opportunity to talk about Fernando was... being cruel to myself. So if you don't know where he's from, he's a frontline champion from Paladins: Champions of the Realm, and he's among the best designed champions in the game I think, but this is more about his visual and personal appeal. I low key love him. The fan-art I put above here is kind of an example of his physical appeal, if that says anything. I could link a picture of him in game here, but really is heavy armor going to make a guy look better? There's a reason why Paladins players PROTESTED when his avatar put his helmet on. His face... Is just a thing of beauty. Just how could you not admire such features? Most men would be jealous, and well, "men" like me? I'm in love. I don't even know how to describe how he has such a kissable face, but HE JUST DOES LOOK AT IT! I think I'm already melting...   But he only gets fifth because he's got a pretty bad ego problem..
     
     
     
    4. Marth

     
    Yes, a character from a franchise I never even played . His smash appearances were more than enough for me. There's quite reason he's a popular choice as a husbando to many of my variety. He may be a bit feminine in a appearance to a degree, but in a way that just makes him insanely cute. His personality is also one that I find to be attractive in a way. Sure it doesn't get too many points for being a bit patriotic for my tastes, he has a sort of quiet strength about him. I couldn't really pinpoint it until looking him up on the Fire Emblem wiki. He puts his responsibilities before his personal life, and it makes it hard for him to really get past some of the tragic events in his life. That's something I can't exactly relate to, but I find... attractive about him. His own sense of moral obligation and the strength he has for being able to suffer mostly in silence. It's admirable. But he's only fourth because of a couple of things. He has too much pride in his country and he is a bit too regal for my tastes. I'd rather have a more humble man than one of royalty and nobility such as Marth.
     
     
    3. Soldier: 76

     
    I will admit I only gained interest in him after the whole controversy surrounding his sexual orientation. But, that was really only because that's when I BEGAN to notice him for what he is. Actually among the best characters from the entire game, with an amount of depth I didn't initially realize. I mean the guy faked his own death to expose those who caused the collapse of the Overwatch task force, literally went AGAINST A GOVERNMENT AT ONE POINT HE SWORE TO PROTECT OUT OF HIS OWN MORALITY, and he somehow hid his relationship with his ex-boyfriend, Vincent, for so long while also hiding a secret pain that was eating away at him that more than likely began with the relationship... I am amazed with this. Seriously, this is something. I'd normally avoid men that could be my freaking dad on this subject (well, although his age isn't revealed, my guess for it isn't far from my dad's in real life...), but he's got so much depth, and he aged unbelievably well... Seriously he looks better now with his white hair than he did with blonde hair! He'd probably be the only man of his age I could remotely love in that sense, and that's something.  
     
     
    2. Axton

     
    "Wow... Just wow... " I've had my eye on Axton for a while now, and I have to say I've only gotten more attracted to him sense. This specific piece of fanart may not be the best representation of it, (I couldn't find much better that wasn't kind of icky or a crossover) but he's probably the most attractive looking guy on this entire list. He also has this air about him that I just can't describe with any other statement than "he doesn't give a f***." Being that he was once a Dahl soldier that left because he was objected to their objective even though it put his relationship with his ex-wife (who was also his commanding officer) on the line, he'll kill anyone if you pay him enough, and he even mocks his enemies in some of his voice lines... Another thing I like about him is the way he talks to his turret. I, no joke, have daydreams at times about him talking to ME that way, just as an example of such a daydream (pretty short): "*Insert my real name here* what would I do without you?" *Intense blushing, and tearing up while I just think 'kiss me now!'" Thinking about this, it's really hard for me to believe he isn't number one. But there's only one better and we all know who he is. Axton may be almost the perfect man, though he's got his flaws, of the same variety as Fernando's though not nearly as bad. On the other hand...
     
     
    1. Luigi

    Luigi is still definitely number one. He's still my favorite, period. There's just so many reasons why. He's kind of adorkable in his own way, he's a little hot (but nothing like Axton or Fernando), but most of all I feel like he and I are kindred spirits from different universes. I know he's a fictional character, but f*** if I don't love him so much. He's almost always so kind to other people even when they hurt him (MARIO), but he also has shown his capability to fight if he needs to. He's got literally the perfect mustache, but he wears it with such a humble goofiness as only he could. Heck I even dig his hair and he always hides it under his hat. He's just so perfect in a lot of ways. He may not have quite the level of visual appeal as others on this list but he MORE than makes up for it in personality. His kind, but kind of silly and timid nature really grips me on a level that other characters don't. All that must be said here is that I ABSOLUTELY love him. Not on the level that one person loves a specific pony that I won't mention here, but if he were real and I knew him... I'd flirt with him as much as I could ! 
        Well that's the list. Bad with endings too so I'll just cut it here.  
  20. Here No Longer
    Before I begin just listing them off, a quick reminder. These are OPINIONS. Don't waste your time trying to say I'm wrong because I'm not saying anything as fact. If you want to post yours here, I suppose that is also fine, as long as you aren't trying to cause a ruckus with a s***storm. With that out of the way...
     
    Video Games
    Goldeneye 007 is (I hate to say it, but it's deserved) severely overrated. It has a myriad of issues that are acknowledged... Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time was not a masterpiece. It was a pretty good game, but it has... issues. Medal of Honor: Warfighter is the best Medal of Honor game ever released. Grand Theft Auto games are boring. Severely so in fact. One of my favorite games of all time just happens to be a licensed game, not telling which. Paladins is quite a bit better than Overwatch, and more balanced as of the moment.  Super Mario Bros. 3 does not deserve most of the praise it gets. I have a huge problem with the mechanics. Super Mario Bros. 2 is, quite easily, my favorite 2D Mario platformer. Nintendo 64, as a console, had poor design and didn't do much to leap ahead of the SNES. Cynthia was not that hard of a Pokémon Champion in Diamond and Pearl. You have to have a diverse team, but other than that...  Generation 2 was, easily, my least favorite Pokémon generation. Difficulty curve problems, the worst balancing ever... Aside from Whitney, the hardest gym leader for me was Wattson in Gen 3. I don't like Elder Scrolls as a franchise. Half of the time it feels like the game is cheating you. Fallout 3, as a game, is pretty mediocre. It feels really, really incomplete. Fallout 4 is actually designed just right. Not too shooter oriented to be honest. Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus was better than the original game. The original Borderlands was better than Borderlands 2 in almost every respect. The Wii U was a better console than the original Wii, and had a better library of exclusives. Movies
    Marvel movies in general are severely overrated. They're no better than DC movies. If anything, they're worse. I. Hate. Disney. They ruined Pixar, they're ruining Star Wars... I bet the list doesn't and won't end there. Frozen was pretty meh honestly. People singing "Let It Go" off-key soon after it came out still haunts me... I didn't like Despicable Me. I found the movie, how should I put it, a brain-rotting experience. Phantom Menace was not that bad. It wasn't good, but it surely wasn't that bad... Dark Knight Rises is just as solid as the rest of the Dark Knight trilogy.   Not everything with Adam Sandler remotely involved is terrible. "Grown Ups" is actually a really funny comedy, with some jokes still hitting even after watching it several times.  
    TV Shows (Including plenty of MLP)
     
    Scootaloo is one of the least likeable ponies in MLP. Rarity was at fault for the conflict in "Honest Apple." "Somepony to Watch Over Me" is one of the best MLP episodes ever aired. "The Washouts" was a TERRIBLE episode for RD, who I frankly think was less mature than Scoots there. I also don't see this "growth" I've heard as justification.  I have yet to see a bad DC Universe show, even if the movies are bad. Even Arrow was really good, and Legends of Tomorrow was 9+/10 before they killed off Snark. Deep Space Nine is easily the worst Star Trek series. Nobody was likeable whatsoever. Star Trek: Enterprise is underrated. Sure it had a bad end to its run, but so did TOS. Will Shatner should never have played Kirk. Chris Pines' Kirk is much, much better. Captain Janeway is the worst Star Trek captain ever. Even over Captain Decker that was written to be a terrible captain. Phineas and Ferb as a show is a disgusting pile of trash, aside from the platypus. He's fine. Big Bang Theory is a heaping pile of garbage filled with offensive lowbrow jokes that are unfunny. The new Magnum P.I. is miles better than the original series. Star VS the Forces of Evil isn't a bad show yet (it used to be really good), but it's definitely sinking fast with the increased Starco focus... The Walking Dead lost its luster after around season 1. All the drama ruined the show.  TV has gotten progressively worse over the past 3 or 4 years. Bull is actually better than Law and Order: SVU.  
    That may not be it, though. Expect to see edits in the future.
  21. Here No Longer
    Well, I was originally going to vent here, but I got inspiration after watching a YouTube video to do something less simultaneously migraine-inducing and controversial. I'll just discuss some of my favorite characters to play as in video game history, and why I enjoy them so much. The only rules here are one per game. These are not in order.
     
    Barik (Paladins)- The Dwarven god among men himself. My main when I played Paladins, he brought me so much enjoyment playing the game that I can hardly contain myself right now with the literal nostalgia I have on the topic. I actually don't know why I enjoy him so much. Maybe it's my signature playstyle of plopping turrets wherever I see fit and destroying everyone? Maybe it's his emphasis on positioning? Maybe it's dashing in circles like a little madman high on drugs? Maybe it's even because I'm playing as the Paladins equivalent of Goldeneye 007's Oddjob? I really don't know. But he's so enjoyable that I managed to play as him in over HALF of all of my matches playing the game. Axton (Borderlands 2)- My recent obsession, Axton has become my favorite Borderlands 2 character to play as. Why? Only one line must be said here. "Have you met the misses?" Are you starting to see a pattern here? Turrets. I freaking like turrets. Axton's turret has great offensive zoning potential building an Engineer build, and it also gives you INSANE buffs to your damage output running the Battlefront skill. Combining this with weapons with high damage potential like the Unkempt Harold results in the DPS being taken to MAXIMUM overdrive. Sure, he has the worst melee in the ENTIRE GAME and I like playing melee builds, but his turret build is even better than Melee Zer0 for me.  Yoshi (Smash Bros)- Oh. My. Word. The. SPIKES. I've always found Yoshi a blast to play because there's just so many ways you can burst your opponent into submission. But the most fun will always be spiking straight into volleyball combos. If you're unaware, Yoshi has the capability to pretend you're a volleyball and smack you into the next ZIP code with a combo of chaining down and up airs. They keep saying Villager isn't the face of mercy, but Yoshi is RUTHLESS. He'll knock you into the next ZIP code with his tail, He will throw eggs at your face like grenades. Heck, he will even use his HEAD as a weapon of mass destruction. Seriously, that noggin has some serious kill potential.  Sniper (Team Fortress 2)- There's a good reason he was my go-to when I played the game. He's a great example of how a sniper class should be executed. He's got a surprising amount of versatility, and he's got a lot of ranged damage. Sure it's at the expense of close-quarters... but... IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE! Take a Shahanshah. Sure it deals bad damage if you melee somebody at above half health, but when you get flanked, it's super useful because your health pool is going to get low enough to get the damage buff at low health. With that boost, those annoying scouts are history. Also, he's even got support options! Get a Sydney Sleeper and you can mark targets for your team to take down for you! Mordecai (Borderlands 1)- Note that I didn't say one per SERIES. Sure, Bloodwing is a bit of a subpar action skill without investment, but that's more than made up for running him with a Sniper or a Pistol build. Sniper builds on him are BETTER than Zer0 in all honesty. With skills like Trespasser that allow you to have up to a 100% chance to IGNORE SHIELDS and skills like Killer that allow you to consistently chain damage output, it's not hard to see what makes him fun to play but also really good. This isn't to mention his potential with pistols (especially revolvers) running the right build, especially with the right Class Mods along with skills that buff reload speed and DPS.  
    I may add a League of Legends character and a DotA 2 character later on, but this is it.
  22. Here No Longer

    Hazbin Hotel OC?

    By Here No Longer,

    Well I've been in the processes of trying to make this forum-appropriate (Still a couple things that may be, well, iffy) and refining some of the details in my head for a while, but here's a general idea. Really, I forgot to post it a couple of weeks ago, so it never came out. Also, there's still no art because I'm no artist.
     
    Name: Mr. McLove (Meyer McLeery) Nicknames: "Rat in the Hat", "Rat Fink", "Sweets"         Type: Rat Demon
    Date of Death: July 26, 1889           Cause of Death: Shot during a fight in a saloon
    Occupation: Male Prostitute (Primarily serving male clients)
    About: Meyer McLeery, or Mister McLove as he's known, was a male prostitute in the days of the Old West, operating in a small town in Arizona. The "Rat in the Hat", as he's been called, was and is still known for his trademark pink ten gallon hat, his mercilessness towards those who cross him, and his inability to handle bad insults about his sexual orientation. He is in Hell to atone for the following acts: the murders of at least 15 people, several bank robberies, and a few acts of grotesque cruelty that can't even be mentioned. In the underworld, he's been up to his old tricks. Killing demons for looking at him funny, being "obnoxious," or even calling him "Rat Fink." He doesn't want to leave Hell as he gathered a faithful clientele there. He also doesn't want them to leave either. He vehemently opposes Charlie's Hotel and he's been trying his hardest to make it fail. 
     
     
  23. Here No Longer
    Well, here it is. I haven't actually played the game since early Season 7 (Can't believe it's been almost 2 years), so my opinions may be a little outdated. Nonetheless, this is also partially based on other tier lists, so there is something to this aside from what I think. Nonetheless, it is mostly what I think from watching a few league games, combined with my opinions and my knowledge of changes since I actually played the game, so it could be a little off.
     
    Top Tier: Sion, Darius, Viktor
    Strong: Irelia, Urgot, Garen, Teemo, Jax, Yasuo, Riven, Akali, Aatrox, Camille, Kled, Fiora, Renekton
    Decent: Yorick, Pantheon, Illaoi, Cho'Gath, Nasus, Shen, Rumble, Gangplank, Singed, Poppy, Swain, Jayce, Kayle, Wukong, Quinn, Vladimir
    Usable: Kennen, Jarvan IV, Pyke, Lissandra, Dr. Mundo, Tryndamere, Nautilus, Heimerdinger, Rengar, Maokai, Ekko, Cassiopeia, Karma, Trundle, Vayne
    Weak: Gnar, Ornn, Talon, Xin Zhao, Graves, Galio, Olaf, Mordekaiser, Ryze, Tahm Kench, Fizz, Lulu, Leona, Vi, Lee Sin
    Bottom Tier: Zed, Blitzcrank, Thresh, Udyr
  24. Here No Longer
    You know when there's something you can never stop talking about? This is it for me.
     
    My life is significantly less depressing for me now than it was only a mere couple of months ago. I mean you all know a big chunk of why this is, and if you don't, well, you haven't been paying an awful lot of attention to what I've been posting about said thing is over and over again. If you don't know, as of late February or Early March of this year (can't look because of inane forum drama), I have been happily in a relationship, one that has helped me out significantly.  
     
    Two months ago, I had a chance argument with a man who would later become my boyfriend. He was arguing about a post he made in regards to being depressed, he sounded like he was trying to force his sadness on other people. Then we apologize to each other, and then after that he begins to sound like the sad little puppy. Adorable, but definitely very depressed about life as a whole. I don't know what switch flips on in me, but I come to love him pretty quickly, and within a week, we've both said that we love each other. Though at first I admit I was a little unsure if I really loved him or I was desperate. But, after a while I come to realize, this guy, was in all ways but physically everything I ever wanted in a romantic partner...
    He's smart enough, and oddly civilized enough, for me to have intellectual discussions with. He has been immensely courteous to me, to the point it makes me feel guilty sometimes.   He's also presses the right buttons if you know what I mean , and if you don't know what I mean, well your mind isn't sick enough to know. He also shares interests with me, mainly in the areas of science, mathematics, a specific type of humor, and his musical tastes aren't really too different than mine. But when I saw him in real life a couple of weeks ago ( had a great time by the way, though it didn't quite go as far as I wanted ), I realized he was also a big cute teddy bear too, you know like the one that's begging to be cuddled with.   I'll also say that we slept in the same bed together and I nearly kissed him. Like I was inches from his face before I backed off, because he looks like a big chubby angel who's begging for a kissing.  
     
    But to what he's done for me.
    His complements towards me have helped me find a renewed self-esteem, as in I don't view myself as ugly anymore. I still feel like I don't deserve such high praise, but I'll admit I look pretty cute . He also helped me through a depression that was spiraling out of control, by giving me hope and love that I've needed for a long time. Seriously, I was quite seriously thinking about hanging myself from the pecan (let's pronounce that: pi' KAN (It's a joke most of you may not get about another couple)) tree growing in the backyard, but since him, they've been replaced with thoughts of cuddling, kissing, and everything else. He's helped me get along in the pursuit of my dream of making my own successful tabletop game. He has resources that are getting content from the current version printed off! That and he's really encouraged me to work on it. He's also made me realize that it is always good to appreciate what you have. On another philosophical tangent, he's made me realize that negativity is necessary for positivity to exist.  This is not the complete list, but only the list of what is the most impactful of these things.
     
    As for our future together, we're supposed to be going on our "second date" a week from now! We've also been planning about what happens when we really go the distance, and live together under the same roof. He's been planning to get his driver's license renewed, and he's been planning to save up for some sort of place to live for the two of us. We haven't discussed anything like legal marriage or anything yet, but I do fantasize about our lives together as one little bitty gay family of 2 (or 3 if adopting a kid is ever in the cards). I just hope it gets there!
     
    Sorry if I keep bringing this up almost non-stop, but can you blame me anyways? After all my life has improved dramatically since I and he have been together. I am not sorry.   
  25. Here No Longer
    Of course note my sexuality here. I am gay so I cannot in all good conscience place female characters on this list. I will also only place human characters as well, so no Pip or the et cetera. Since Androxus will also not be on this list due to the curse that afflicted his body turning it into something that is debatably not human as well. Khan WILL be on this list because although you can't see his face or any part of his body through his armor in the base skin, you can with the Amerikhan skin, and he is human. 
     
    SS: Fernando, Koga
    S: Jenos, Khan, Sha'Lin
    A:  Strix, Viktor, Buck, Atlas, Lex,
    B: Zhin, Mal'Damba
     
    By the way, the aforementioned stipulations are why the tier list has been placed here instead of on Guru like my tier list by my opinions of how powerful each individual champion is in the current meta. (Here's a link to it if you want to check it out)
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