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EtchASketch
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Some days, I really feel like turning into a villain. It just seems like she will never change. I give way too many chances. Forgive too much. I can count well past one hundred for the amount of forgiveness I have given her. All for what...betrayed and lied to each time... it's only ever hurting me and they don't care. Maybe I shouldn't anymore. Haha. Hurt hurt, only hurt. There's no change! It's not getting better! Why do you try so hard! It's never even worth it!
No. But doing that would mean giving up. This long battle is harrowing and toiling indeed, but I won't give in. No toxicity. Don't change, me. Not after all of these years. It's going to pay off in the end. It's tiring, sure. That's one of the costs. Just..keep going. Trust me, me. It's going to be okay soon.
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You don't have to forgive her and it's not toxic to not do so. In fact according to psychotherapist Susan Forward in her book Toxic Parents, she preached forgiveness until she noticed her therapy clients weren't improving and were stuck using forgiveness to deny their genuine feelings of hurt and rage and it kept them from improving and moving on, and she changed her mind on forgiveness entirely.
You can consider forgiveness when you're not stuck with her anymore - not forgiving someone who is still actively hurting you is actually a healthy response to being hurt over and over again. You're not a bad person for hating genuinely shitty people.
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