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TailsIsNotAlone

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  1. TailsIsNotAlone
    So I've heard a few members around here, the highly respected CronaTheCritic and others, say they're disappointed in a perceived lack of "love and tolerance" in the fandom and they don't identify with other bronies like they used to. I understand why they might feel that way, but at the same time, I think a lot of us don't know how lucky we are to have this place.
     
    Do I agree with everybody here? No. Have I run into a few members that made me happy to have an Ignore feature? Sure. Is "love and tolerate" an anachronistic meme, not a goal or an obligation? Fortunately, yes. Otherwise it wouldn't be so special when somepony goes out of their way to say something nice to me or brohoof a post I thought no one would like. What makes that stuff so valuable around here is the fact that it's not expected of us. We do it because we want to. And what's why I love you guys, because you go out of your way to be respectful and nice, and you inspire those things in me.
     
    I am being 100% honest when I say this is the best community I've ever been a part of. Since I first trotted onto the Internet almost eight years ago, I have stumbled across some ornery, mean-spirited and downright awful groups. I was on a pro wrestling forum with a lot of good people, but it wasn't a fun atmosphere. Everyone thought they were smarter than everyone else and I didn't even know how bad it was until I came here. And this one Final Fantasy board that shall not be named...how do I describe it?
     

    (I couldn't find a meme like this. I had to make it myself in Photobucket.)
     
    I won't post any examples from there for the sake of good taste and the rules, but my point is, this is the Internet, and we're in one of best parts of it. It gets so much worse than the occasional meanie you see here.
     
    When you don't take the community too seriously--and I try not to--it's much easier to accept everything that comes with it. When you focus on the show, the good vibes will always drown out the bad.
  2. TailsIsNotAlone
    With all due respect to the greatest princess and greatest villain seen here...
     
    This third-shift job just isn't working out. -_-
    Being nocturnal hasn't been all bad. I've been blessed with some great views and picked out constellations I hadn't seen since high school astronomy. The night truly is a wonderful time. But when I have to drag myself into a ghastly, gleaming facade of consumer artifice known as 'Wal-Mart' each evening at ten, its beauty is lost. I hoped it would give me a place to hide--from my anxieties, from a world that often frustrates and confuses me--but you can't hide and pay the bills at the same time. It makes no difference where I go; I don't seem to belong.
     

     
    Who wouldn't want to be Spike in this picture? I know I need a hug.
     
    It's days like this that make me wish I really could go off and live in Equestria. But if this world were not so troubling, would Lauren Faust have thought up Equestria to begin with? That's why good and bad are not directly opposed ideas; if you look closely enough, they are always intertwined. You have to take the bad with the good, and I try.
     
    But I can't do it here, and that's why I am quitting the job. It's boring, too many of the people are jerks and nothing I do really matters. You'd be surprised how depressing stocking shelves can be. No matter how well you do the job, they're always a disaster the next day. It's a constant battle to keep customers (and other employees) from making a mess of the store, and with no chemistry with the people here (they enjoy Jerry Springer unironically, that might say it all) and no full-time benefits in sight (they screwed me on a technicality), it's a battle I'm tired of fighting.

     
    It was that emotional fatigue that sent me driving home early tonight, through the first blizzard of the season, but no sweat. I'm a seasoned veteran of Minnesota winters and I made it home just fine. As my dog jumped up to greet me and I let her out, I reminded myself: only one more night after this. One more night of work, and then I'll probably go back to a day job. Luna didn't hold it against me--in fact, she gave me a parting gift. When I stepped outside later to let the dog back in, I saw a whitetail deer standing in the snow less than 30 feet away. It was a beautiful doe, just watching me to see if I was a threat. I was not; I just looked back at her for a long minute, and finally she scampered away into the trees. Soon I'll be escaping, too.
     
    So where do I go from here? Hard to say, but luck is usually on my side. I'll find another opportunity somewhere. In the meantime, I'm going to go home, surprise my family at Christmas dinner and enjoy the holidays. Right after poking fun at all the doomsayers on December 22nd.
     

  3. TailsIsNotAlone
    One big DVD set, 26 episodes, pizza coming in an hour and a fridge full of beer. It’s time to get this party of one started!
     
     
    First, a quick summary of the package and quality. The cover looks just like the pictures you’ve seen, the Mane 6 (plus Spike and Angel) standing around more or less randomly on a background shot of Ponyville. The green iris of Fluttershy’s left eye is missing and something about her tail doesn’t look quite right. (At least they fixed her wing, though.) The other ponies fare a little better, especially Rarity. The back side illustration is similar: Mane 6 in other random poses on a different background.
     
    Taking off the slipcover and opening the regular-sized DVD case, we have a composite illustration on the inside that is noticeably better. The four discs are secured in two double-sided clear plastic mounts, all with different pictures on them. Disc 1 has Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie. Disc 2 has Twilight, Rainbow and Fluttershy. Disc 3 has Princess Cadance and Spike, which is odd because the former wouldn’t appear until the end of Season 2. Disc 4 has an equally strange picture of Celestia, who is so small she looks like an alicorn filly. Her mane and tail are not translucent and are missing the variety of colors we see on the show.
     
    But it’s what’s on the inside that really counts, and I fire up the DVD player. The main menu has “play all” as well as an episode selection--good. Fortunately the sound and widescreen picture quality are beyond reproach, at least for DVD…and on that note it’s time to review what’s really important: the show. The following is a list of random observations as the mad marathon begins!
     
     
    *I’ve got my Rainbow Dash shirt and wristband plus my Apple Bloom necklace on as Episode 1 starts. Gotta be prepared.
     
    *“I think she’s more interested in books than friends,” an anonymous pony says of Twilight Sparkle, like it’s a bad thing. xD (Hey, at least books can’t hurt you.) BTW, when will we meet the anonymous Moon Dancer, whose party Twilight shunned so she could study to save Equestria?
     
    *The first of many obtuse or misleading Celestia responses to get Twilight to come to Ponyville. At least here she had a good reason. Twilight meets the ponies. Naturally Applejack makes an awesome first impression, she’s Applejack. First sighting of the Apple family as well as the almighty Bloom and her first line, “Aren’t you gonna stay fer brunch?” Man, Michelle Creber was ten when she said that line.
     
    *DASHIE! Still as funny and awesome as ever in her first appearance. Twilight’s poofy hair actually looks good now that I see it again. Even Spike says it’s pretty like that. First sighting of a Rarity! “I’m in the zone, as t’were.” Spike is lovestruck the whole time and I know where he’s coming from. Fluttershy’s first scene touches me as deeply as ever. Twilight seems oddly jealous of her fascination with Spike (which we haven’t seen since).
     
    *And of course, Pinkie’s first party complete with hot sauce on a cupcake. OK, I’m seriously gonna try something like that. Time for some Tabasco sauce on a snack cake! ……

    *…Ewwwww. And now I desperately need the first beer to wash that taste out of my mouth.
     
    *Summer Sun Celebration and there’s no princess. “This can’t be good,” Twilight frets. (Actually it’s just the kind of stunt Celestia would pull in hindsight.) Instead our guest of honor is the much cooler NIGHTMARE MOON! OMG, I’m marking out for her. First sighting of the CMC as the three of them tremble in fear.
     
    *Episode 2, which means it’s time to giggle at the Ghostlies! It’s not one of my favorite musical numbers but it’s a preview of the greatness that would come later in the series.
     
    *Damn, remember that scene where Rarity bites off one of the effeminate dragon’s razor-sharp scales, and the show plays like she stabbed him with it?? Twilight: “Rarity, what are you—” *SLICE* Dragon: “Ohhhhhhhh!!” *falls over* So many LULZ. That is seriously my favorite moment in this episode.
     
    *Pizza Hut arrives as the dragon helps the ponies cross the river!
     
    *And lo, the divine Rainbow Dash flew to the top of a cliff where she was tempted—and did not give in. I love you, Dashie.
     
    *Twi vs. Nightmare! “You’re kidding. You’re kidding, right?” Moon’s best line. Twilight does her first teleport and it’s clearly a strain on her. She would get much stronger later on. Here come the rest of the Mane 6!
     
    *Too bad THE NIGHT could not LAST FOREVERRRR…but Nightmare Moon is still favorite villain. AJ admits she thought Twilight was “Just spoutin’ a lot of hooey” when Twilight started talking about friendship=power. I like that about her. And Pinkie breaks the 4th wall for the first time! Wow, that started early.
     
    *Daaamn, you’ve gotta try these stuffed pizza rollers from Pizza Hut. And their whole dinner box. It’s Episode 3 and Twilight is hungry too. That’s OK, Twi, you can share!

    *AJ: “I’d give my left hind leg to go to that Gala.” Twi: “Okay, I’ll get a saw.” O_o Wait, I think I heard that wrong.
     
    *You know, we never actually saw what RD does during the Buccaneer Blaze, just that it generates lightning.
     
    *The Ticket Master is a better episode than I remember. It really served its purpose in solidifying the Mane 6’s personalities.
     
    *Applejack’s first great moment: saving Ponyville from a cow stampede. She’s exhausted for the rest of the show, though. Hey, AJ was the first pony besides Twilight to get an episode just about her! What are her fans complaining about again?!
     
    *Poor AJ, too stubborn to accept any help until the end. I suspect that I’ll look something like her before this marathon is over... xD
  4. TailsIsNotAlone
    To anyone brave enough to read this, you have my thanks. I guess there are 2 parts to this odd little story; the first is about work, the second about dreaming (or my failure to do so). So, the work part. It's a night job where I stock groceries and other goods for a dept. store, mostly pop, water and juice. You get a lot fewer people shopping at night, which is part of why it appealed to me. It's not a soul-crushing ordeal (like my last job, that's another story), but it's still a job, and that limits the amount of time I can be home watching ponies. Plus there still are the other workers to deal with, and some of them can be jerks who clearly have never had ponies in their lives.
     
    But I had a solution for this. A few days ago, my Rainbow Dash wristband came in the mail! It looks just like this...

    ...and it's perfect. ("You may have seen these before if you've heard of the 808 Bronies in Hawaii. They were the first to have any," says the seller.) It has her cutie mark on both sides and is sturdy enough that I can wear it anywhere--to bed, in the shower......and even to work!
     
    So that's what I did, I wore it to work last night--with short sleeves so everyone could see. It may not seem like a big deal but it is to me because I'm really shy in person and I'm not one to display my interests. But no one really noticed or said anything. Every time the drudgery of sorting 30 different kinds of juice started to get to me, I would look at my wrist and I felt so much better. I think I got a lot more done that night than usual.
     
    My Little Pony has already made my life better. I can watch it online, I've got the wrist, a shirt, some blind bag figures, the calendar, and I've got the S1 DVD pre-ordered for December. I've got ponies on the brain these days. But just one thing is missing to make me a real hardcore brony...I've never dreamed about them.
     
    I can't dream about the ponies. I've heard of that lucid dreaming stuff you can do and it seems pretty awesome...but I can't do it. I tried several years ago and it never worked out. I sort of tried it again when I took a nap today. Told myself "okay, I'm going to dream about ponies." Did I dream about ponies? Nope. I dreamed about driving a semi-truck and wrecking it on Highway 52, then not being able to reach my grandparents on the phone. No ponies whatsoever. (Unless, heaven forbid, I was transporting ponies.)
     
    I wonder what I'm doing wrong...
     
    But that's it for my nonsensical blog post. Make of it what you will. If you have willingly dreamed about My Little Pony, please give me some advice!
  5. TailsIsNotAlone
    Warning! Several drinks were consumed in the making of this blog, which makes it dangerously fun and random. This is the incoherent story of how my day received not just one, but two, shots of Rainbow Dash's trademark coolness.
     
    So yeah. Today I finally got........

    My Rainbow Dash shirt in the mail!!!!!

     
    This is automatically the sweetest shirt in my closet. Except I haven't put it in the closet yet, it's still hanging from the window just so I can look at it. I wore it to the liquor store when I bought my Mike's Hard Lemonade, then to the Goodwill to get a new keyboard, then to the McDonald's drive-thru...so three places have already witnessed the awesomeness of Rainbow Dash. That's right, I wore the shirt outside. I'm usually too shy to do stuff like that, but that the hell. Nobody around here knows about My Little Pony anyway. ^^
     
    So that accounts for the first 20%. The second was that I went shopping at Wal-Mart again this morning and bought two blind bags. I opened the first one and went nuts, because...
     

     
    It's Rainbow again!!! OMG, how did that happen?! I must have lucky fingers or something!
     
    I opened the second one to reveal my third favorite pony...

     
    So, damned if this wasn't automatically a great day. Rainbow and Pinkie are now standing on my dresser with their collector cards. How about those two showing up together? It's like an omen, saying that I should write something about those two ponies. Maybe I will.
     
    But first, on to the fifth Mike's! Don't worry, I'm not an alcoholic or anything. But once in a while when the mood is right, I decide to cut loose. Not every entry of this blog will be a cautionary example of "don't drink and write." Most will just be the ravings of a madman who happens to love My Little Pony. I will be getting my required dosage of MLP later tonight (up to "Green Isn't Your Color"), but first, this blog and some Mystery Science Theater 3000, my other favorite show of all time. Is you haven't seen it I highly recommend it.
     
    Anyway! I had to put someone on Ignore. I've never done it before on all the boards I've been to, and there are many, but dammit I want to enjoy this site. And the show. And he was just depressing me, so there you go. MLP is just too great for me to nitpick over every detail of it, and I love this board too. A million thanks to everybody who's hoofed me and feels the same way, because you're making me a happier person. You've all been very welcoming and I really appreciate you.
     
    So, to sum it up. I've got you, I've got my shirt and sparkly figurines, and I promise that future entries of this blog by a clueless newb will be better. And I managed to get through this thing without breaking any rules, so yay! *raises bottle* To Bronydom!!!
     
    P.S. Dashie's cutie mark was a stroke of artistic genius.
  6. TailsIsNotAlone
    I love all the ponies on this show. I admire Rainbow Dash's bravery and confidence, Rarity's enterprise and generosity, Pinkie Pie's love of life, Twilight Sparkle's intelligence, and Fluttershy's deep understanding of the world around her. But the one I admire most of all, the one I could count on most of all if she were real, the one I think of in my darkest moments, is Applejack. The family pony, the hard worker, the truth machine. I can almost hear her telling me: "A change would do ya good, sugarcube." And she's right.


     
     
     

    "I think that place is really hurting your soul," the doctor tells me.
     
    I always wondered what that feeling was. The way my stomach aches and clenches from stress as I get ready to go to my job. That resigned sense of dread as I enter the dingy lobby. The mixture of pity and disappointment I feel for every sucker who walks in during my shift. The sheer exhaustion that sets in halfway through, no matter how much sleep I got beforehand. And finally, the weight that lifts from my shoulders when my shift is over. My mother tells me I'm too sensitive. She doesn't have to work there, and she certainly would never stay there.
     
    Why does anyone stay here? I always think to myself as the meaningless hours creep by. When will they finally shut this place down?
     
    =============================
     

     
    There are ghosts here. I can feel them.
     
    Not the ghosts of people, although some have died in this building. I sense the ghosts of things, emotions. The muted crunch of tires on gravel from suspicious cars coming through the parking lot. The nervous rustle of cash handed over by cheating husbands. The shadows of people gesturing angrily, arguing about nothing outside their doors. Echoes of their betrayal, apathy, and disregard for their fellow man resonate within me.
     
    Before I started working here, a man went crazy in one of our rooms. In the middle of a party he was throwing, he pulled a gun and held all his guests hostage. Then as they all had to watch, he forced himself on underage girls who had done nothing wrong except to be there. He went to jail, but he deserved worse. That night was the death knell of this business; we just haven't accepted it yet.
     
    These are the things that haunt me when I come to the job. I can't make them go away, and maybe I don't want to. Maybe part of us takes some morbid comfort in watching a system slowly break down and destabilize around us. But entropy as an entertainment form has its limits, and I have reached mine.
     
    This hotel is finished. It deserves to be finished.
     
    =============================
     

     
    Like so many others all over the country, this place is falling apart because nobody cares. Not its former corporate owners who let it fall into decay and disrepute over 34 years. Not its new owners who won't pay a cent to renovate the outdated, smelly rooms. Not the GM who has given up. Not the other employees, one of whom is running sleazy side businesses out of the lobby.
     
    And not the guests. I think they're the ones who depress me most of all. From what I can see, many of them live in a troubled, disorganized, apathetic state--just like the business itself. Maybe that's what draws them here. They come and they linger and they go, not caring what they leave behind. But I do. It's all around me. I couldn't ignore it if I wanted to.
     
    They deserve better than this place, I might think in sympathy. Or this place deserves better than them, I might think in outrage. But maybe these people and this hotel deserve each other. I know at least one person who does deserve better, and it's the guy in the mirror.
     
    That's why I'm leaving. After two years of wading through others' accumulated misery, I will be starting a new job. To paraphrase Hunter S. Thompson: when that day comes, I will flee this hotel forever, like a rat from a burning ship.
     
    A change will do me good, indeed.
  7. TailsIsNotAlone
    I can feel it, even though it's just in something I'm writing! Picture this: you are Snowdrop. You're sitting on a cloud in the sky. You can't see. The wind ruffles the feathers in your wings. And it's freaking cold up there. What happens next?
     
    That's the whole idea. You are Snowdrop. Or at least, a guy you can relate to is. Throw in a pack of smokes, and the fact that you are Snowdrop in the time of the Mane 6 when Snowdrop is supposed to have passed away a long time ago...and that's going to be a very different adventure/comedy fic.
     
    People are jumping onboard, so I must be doing something right with it--even though I have no idea what it is. Happy belated 2nd birthday to the creator of snowflakes! And I hope you guys enjoy.
     

  8. TailsIsNotAlone
    I don't expect many people to agree with me on this, but hear me out.
     
    FIMfiction. Everwhere I look, I see it held up as the go-to place for fan fiction in the MLP fandom. I see it chosen as the default option for brony writers all over the world. I read about how it is the only website that offers us a complete experience as both readers and fans of MLP: FIM. And I agree. FIMfiction is indeed all of those things. It's a unique resource for all things writing + ponies.
     
    It is also the most frustrating fan fiction site I've ever dealt with in 9 years of writing online.
     
    Yes, I am going to criticize FIMfiction. If we can call out Equestria Daily and Sethisto, we can do the same with FIMfiction and knighty. In my opinion, these guys need to be woken up right here and now. I'll skip over all the small annoyances the place has caused me--that's unimportant and there wouldn't be room enough in one blog anyway. I have three main issues: I think they're hard to use, they try too hard with quality control, and they are highly overrated.
     
     
    1. The user experience.

     
    The first thing I noticed when I first saw the site over a year ago is that it looks great. You couldn't ask for a more attractive main page. Wonderful. But this excellent first impression was spoiled when, caught up in my own foolish excitement, I attempted to publish a story. What was a simple experience on most fanfiction sites became a litany of "what the hell?," "where is it?," "why do I have to write two summaries?" and countless other questions. You should have been there. Suffice it to say, the submission process took hours to figure out.
     
    Even navigating the site is more difficult than it should be. If you're interested in reading more than the most recent fics, you'd better Google the title or save your links, because it's a struggle to find anything via the site itself. It's a little easier now that there's actually a working filter, but you have to open a story just to use it, and each search result takes up way too much space on the page. When I reviewed fanfiction on a brony radio show, I had to bring on another member who (along with his brother) knew the inner workings of the site so we could find good--not just popular--stories, and even he agreed that it was like trying to browse a public library by peeking through the windows.
     
     
    2. Overenthusiastic moderation.

     
    It's no secret that FIMfiction's quality control was lacking in the early days. (Just look at when
    on a radio show in May of '13.) That's typical. I won't hold it over their heads. They've advanced by leaps and bounds since then. In fact, no story gets published there now before being screened and approved by a moderator...which is actually part of the problem. 
    Every fandom has to deal with bad fanfics and learn which authors to steer clear of. Bronies, of all people, are smart enough to do this. But FF decides for us which stories we will be allowed to read, and occasionally they reject them on questionable grounds. Remember that first story I talked about trying to publish? This is it. After pulling my hair out trying to submit the thing, I finally succeeded...and they sent it back with a pink slip. Why? Because it was a human/pony satire and they didn't like that it mentioned the name of their site. That's being a tad oversensitive, don't you think? (I know, I know, meta fic rules; but as long as you're not criticizing the site itself or any particular writers, who really gives a damn?) :okiedokielokie:
     
     
    3. OVERRATED.

     
    I don't pull out the "overrated/underrated" card much, because ultimately it's all subjective--but if I've ever seen an overrated site, FIMfiction is it. They assume they are great and present themselves as the ultimate authority on pony fiction. The problem is, they're not that great. Yes, there are thousands of great stories there. But remember who we have to thank for that: the authors.
     
    I know that FIMfiction has many attractive features--groups, blogs, customization and all the rest. But despite all the bells, whistles, and pretty pictures, its spot as the number-one site has been won by default. What real competition does it have as an experience crafted by bronies, for bronies? (<--The only reason I don't count Fanfiction.net.) The closest is Pony Fiction Archive ("everypony equal, everypony loved") and they have less than 1500 stories. So far there hasn't been much competition, and I think there needs to be. Let them be like us. There are many boards besides MLP Forums that want you and I as members--MLP Arena, Canterlot.com, Reddit, Everypony and the list goes on. And this one stands out as the best because we are a unique community that plays nice and has the best ideas, moderation, and leadership. Let's see if FIMfiction is still top dog after some other alphas have come along.
     
    Conclusion
    I won't deny that there are personal feelings involved here. My decision to finally write this was made after they banned me for "plagiarizing" my own story--every word of it was mine, but apparently the idea of a guy having two usernames and posting the same fic on websites other than theirs was so unthinkable that they threw out a ban without a warning or even asking any questions. (EDIT: I busted the imposter and cleared up the situation, but it was a hurtful ending to what has been a maddening experience from start to finish.) Make no mistake, what you see here is everything I've wanted to say about the site for 14 months. And it's finally out.
     

     
    Personally, even though the situation is resolved and my membership reinstated, I will not be writing anything else for FIMfiction. But what's important for us, collectively, is that the site is not all it's cracked up to be. We can do better, and we deserve better. Competition is good for everybody. If you like FIMfiction, that's great. Competition will encourage the site to improve itself and ultimately become a better place. If you don't like FIMfiction, if you're neutral or undecided, there is plenty of room for a viable alternative.
     
    Should MLP Forums ever decide to take up this cause, along with the many other things our admin and visionary Feld0 has on the table, it will have my wholehearted support.
  9. TailsIsNotAlone
    HIPSTER.
     
    God I'm sick of that word. Aren't you? I've never called someone a hipster, never thought of them as a hipster, and after some thought and research on the subject here's my conclusion.
     
    THERE ARE NO HIPSTERS. The word has no independent meaning whatsoever. It was invented by entertainment and fashion writers to tell you how you should think, who you should dislike (yourselves? everyone?) and to shoehorn you into a, quote, 'subculture' that does not exist. I love it when people use the word 'subculture' don't you? It's almost like they're admitting they have no clue who or what they're talking about!! But admitting you don't know what you're talking about is bad for your blog. Drives down the number of hits.
     

     
     
    Think about it. Almost every young person dresses, or thinks they dress, in 'their own style' when they're really just throwing together clothes with the right look or brand name with slight variations. "Um...well they buy their clothes at thrift shops!" So does everyone else and their one-legged grandma in this economy. So you can't define them by their clothes. Everybody enjoys the thrill of faux-apathy and being non-mainstream, so that doesn't work. Many of us dislike Justin Bieber but we don't call each other hipsters just for that. What's the deal? They're only hipsters if you disagree with them?
     
    When older people say "hipsters," what they really mean is "younger people." When younger people call each other "hipsters," what they really mean is "asshole." It's a glorified pejorative, an empty word we throw at each other because others have told us it's bad. I can tell because I've never heard anyone admit to being one--unlike hippies, metalheads, flappers and beats, who were/are in fact fairly distinct groups that some outsiders hated and some admired. It's like YOLO and swag. I'm told there are people out there who still use these terms un-ironically. WHERE ARE THEY? They're not there. They use the words once, get made fun of, and switch over to poking fun at them.
     
    Hipsters are a group that everybody hates and no one can identify. If you get this and still insist on using the word, you are not cool. You are not clever. You're buying into an illusion and you're part of the problem. The sooner we stop throwing it around, the sooner we can get at what's actually troubling this generation. Like our failure to pull together and get things done because we're too busy ranting online.
  10. TailsIsNotAlone
    The real Applejack wouldn't want me to lie about it, so yes, I did run away from home on Christmas Eve. Or what used to be home before I got my own place last year. I still come back so I can be with my family during the holidays, despite my many not-so-fond memories of childhood.
     
    Well, you know how it goes sometimes: for no particular reason, a dark cloud is hovering over your head, and every small thing that goes wrong intensifies the storm, and you know you're headed for either an explosion or a breakdown. This feeling had been building inside me since I left my job, packed and rushed home in order to surprise my family at their Christmas party--a hectic affair that kept me going for 26 hours without sleep. Home was as dull, difficult and frustrating a place as it had always been, and overhearing my 15-year-old brother watching yet another R-rated torture flick was the last straw.
     

     
    Some people just explode when they hit their breaking point. I implode. I direct all my anger inward, at myself and my perception of everyone around me. I threw my things back into my car and took off without a word about where I was going. I didn't even know. I just needed to get out, Christmas Eve or not.
     
    I drove around aimlessly for a while, enduring a pointless and mostly one-sided phone call from my mother, who didn't have a clue what was wrong. I stopped in a Target parking lot, seriously considering just jetting onto the highway and driving the 80 miles back to my apartment. What stopped me was a text, and then a phone call, from my second brother. Unlike the youngest he is close to me in age. We grew up together, and were often at each others throats. Now he was the only person I could go to.
     

     
    "I'm so sick of having to smile at people and go along with their charades, and hide how ****ed up I am," I told him. "I can only be myself when I'm alone. The only ones who understand are the people like me, and they're all hiding too."
     
    As he answered my honesty with some of his own, I learned that we had many of the same problems early in life: social anxiety, feelings of inferiority, unhappy family lives. He dealt with it by drinking and scheming to get out of the house as soon as he could. I retreated helplessly into myself, escaping reality with books, TV, and my own vivid daydreams. I've lived in that protective shell for so long that I don't know where it ends and I begin. If I ever do seek help getting out of it, it's going to be a long and painful process.
     
    But for now, the understanding of one person was enough--more than I ever hoped for. After clearing things up with my mom, I went over to my brother's place and we talked and drank like old friends. The worst Christmas Eve of my life was suddenly one of the best. My greatest gift this year was something I'd never had before: another refuge, and a way forward.
     
    Honesty was the best policy after all. Thank you, AJ.
     

  11. TailsIsNotAlone
    Wow, have I really been watching My Little Pony for almost 10 hours? O_O Time flies when you’re having fun! I’m on the last lap of the pony track here.
     
     
    *At least for now, my intense dislike of the Diamond Dogs is keeping me awake. NO ONE messes with my ponies! Spike’s fantasy is hilarious, especially the end with him making an accidental kissy face at Applejack.
     
    *I kind of miss these action-filled episodes Lauren Faust was so good at. Rarity is clearly scared at times, but she plays the Dogs like fiddles and takes off with millions of bits worth of gems. But this is only the beginning. Another Rarefied (and Fluttershied) episode is coming up!
     
    *Did I mention Photo Finish is awesome? She is. Funny, stylish, great voice. Strange how she only took pictures of sad Fluttershy. Maybe that was what appealed to her, a model who wasn’t happy being a model. Shy really was good at it, though. And her being in advertisements all over Equestria was funny. Also, this episode has just the right amount of Pinkie.
     
    *Bloomberg! Mushy Applejack is hilarious. Just like in Episode 5, Pinkie +Dash equals awesome. Buffalo attack! Hey, they’re scaring Bloomberg.
     
    *AAAAPLE-LOOSA! That is all.

     
    *Over a Barrel is better than some people say. I think they make the white settler/Indian correlation way too obvious, and Pinkie’s song is super-corny, but it’s on purpose. (Sadly, it’s better than some “serious” kids’ songs.) What surprises me is that this episode managed to create so much suspense in 20 minutes.
     
    *Look Before You Sleep and Stare Master didn’t thrill me too much, but A Bird in the Hoof really rustles my jimmies. I don’t think an ugly bird trolling Fluttershy for trying to help her is very funny. The funny part is Celestia saying nothing matters more to her than the health and well-being of her subjects while her pet appears to be coughing up a lung next to her. Rainbow Dash teasing the royal guards was the best part of this.
     
    *”It’s no use. No matter what we try, we always end up without our cutie marks. And, surprisingly often, covered in tree sap.” xD Ahh, that’s better. Scoots’ looking up to Dash is made clear for the first time. All the Mane 6’s stories are great; Twilight’s is my favorite (“yes yes yes yes yes!”). And the part about Dash bringing them all together…now that’s a creative idea, and great writing to boot. Wonderful episode.
     
    *…And speaking of great writing, except NOT, we have Owl’s Well That Ends Well.

    *Where do I start with the problems in this one? It’s contrived, it’s corny, it’s not funny (the “who?” thing as a running gag, seriously?), and none of it measures up to the rest of the season. Except for the meteor shower, but that lasts a few seconds. I still haven’t had that next beer I mentioned at the end of Part III, but I think this is an excellent time. <_<
     
    *There were so many better ways to develop Twi and Spike’s relationship than this, I just…ugh. But at least it’s over now. And Pinkie Pie’s singing telegrams make it all better! I love Rarity’s reaction to “Gummy’s favorite” punch.
     
    *What’s odd about this episode is that they had the Mane 6 go to great (and not very honest) lengths to hide a surprise party from Pinkie. Couldn’t they just, I don’t know, reschedule it?? Couldn’t they just not feel like having an after-birthday party for Gummy the day after his first, and tell Pinkie that (no need for AJ to lie), and that’s how Pinkie thinks they don’t like her parties anymore? Only slightly different, but…not so mean. Meghan McCarthy’s a good writer, I think she just got too dark sometimes (here and in Lesson Zero).
     
    *After a few stumbles, though, we rebound with what I’ve been waiting for: the fantastic season finale. What more can I say about it? It was not only great, it propelled the show’s staff to new heights of artistry and inspiration. One of my favorites.

    *Now I have to hear the audio commentaries! They’re here and they’re very good, a treat for the bronies just like I imagined. The mood is loose and pleasant, but professional. The staff laughs at their own show and reflects on how much work it was. The commentaries are on six episodes: Friendship is Magic parts 1&2, Winter Wrap-Up, Suited For Success, The Show Stoppers, and The Best Night Ever. The commentators include...
     
    Andrea Libman, AKA Pinkie Pie & Fluttershy
    Tabitha St. Germain, AKA Rarity & others
    Hasbro Executive Director Brian Leonard
    Robert Fuchs
    Episode Director James “Wooty” Wootten
    Supervising Director Jason Thiessen
    Background Musician Dan Ingram
    Nicole Oliver, AKA Celestia & Cheerilee
    Cathy Weseluck, AKA Spike & Mayor Mare
    And the Art Director...I think his name is Sorenson.
    (Sadly, no Lauren Faust, Tara Strong, or Ashleigh Ball.)
     
    *Watch out for a new thread in Sugarcube Corner where I reveal some of the most fascinating details from these commentaries. ^^ Hasbro did slip up with this set in some areas, though. First, the artwork is not very inspired, and bound to be outdone by many fanmade DVD covers out there. They repeat the pony profiles they already gave us in earlier DVDs…STILL without Rainbow Dash! I mean, seriously, if you’re going to give us those all over again, at least fix the mistake you made with them the last time. Then we have other repeated stuff, like sing-alongs and downloadable coloring sheets.
     

     
    Well, my work here is done. I made it…12 straight hours of My Little Pony. I don’t have to tell you it was worth it, but all the same, wow. Six beers, a Pizza Hut dinner box and an awesome show to consume them with. You can’t ask for more than that! If you buy this set, I hope you like it as much as I do.
  12. TailsIsNotAlone
    *”Oh, Applejack. You make it sound as if it’s going to be hard!” It IS hard, Rarity. Season 1 is about 12 hours, that’s more TV than I’ve ever watched in one sitting, except on a few NFL Sundays. Must not fall asleep.
     
    *It’s impossible not to love Rarity, and Suited For Success gives us more of what we love. Poor pony, she wants so badly to please her friends, but they didn’t like her first designs even though they were great. Reminds me of my first submission to FIMfiction…but anyway! Enjoying “Art of the Dress,” the best song/s of the show so far.
     
    *Epic Fluttershy/Rarity exchange. This combined with her later outburst about Rarity being “petty,” make me think they’re not the closest of ponies. Even when they connect later in the season, it’s over a misunderstanding. And yes, I’m going to say it…ABOUT 20% COOLER. Was that the first appearance of Vinyl Scratch?
     
    *”She’ll become a crazy cat lady!”
    “She only has one cat.”
    “Give it time.”
    Poor, poor Rarity. But once again, an awesome ending with a heartfelt resolution. We learned here that Rarity’s fashion isn’t just a hobby, but a passion.
     
    *Here’s one of the first controversial episodes, Feeling Pinkie Keen! Yes, I like it, and no, I don’t think it’s an allegory for religion. It could be read that way, but I’d say it’s more about Twilight accepting that not everything needs a rational explanation, especially where Pinkie’s involved. Plus we got to see Pinkie’s science hat (awesome meme fodder) and angry Twilight in a wheelchair.

    *After the show is done making fun of her, Twilight shows the makings of a hero here: she saves Pinkie and Spike from the hydra and distracts it so her friends can get away. And don’t forget Super Saiyan Twilight!!
     
    *Watching all these in succession, I am noticing some small moments between Applejack and Spike—maybe three so far—so the new episode featuring them will not be entirely without precedent. They have chemistry. Not romantic chemistry, but something.
     
    *Only one thing is necessary to introduce Episode 16: YAY. Dash is a little hard on Fluttershy’s cheering style, but it’s really a reflection of her own lack of confidence; she’s afraid of not measuring up at the Young Fliers Competition. Damn, Rarity’s wings are absolutely dazzling. Her attitude when she has them isn’t, but nopony’s perfect. “Don’t worry, Twilight. I’m sure they can’t get worn out from too much attention.”
     
    *The Rainbow Factory! Before the memory of it was desecrated in fanon. And now the competition…doesn’t matter how many times I see it, the Sonic Rainboom scene is still an amazing rush. I love Dashie x2.
     
    *Well, that one sure woke me up. I hope I can last through Stare Master. I really wasn’t into it the first time around…and it turns out I’m not now, either. The Crusaders are more annoying than they need to be and none of them develop individually, which is what I like to see. Fluttershy staring down the Cockatrice was brilliant, though. All Twilight did was get turned into stone and she still has to write a letter to Celestia. xD
     
    *Okay, I managed that one…next is The Show Stoppers, the one episode I’ve never seen before! I wasn’t ready for two Cutie Mark Crusades in a row, but right off the bat this one is much better than the last. Scootaloo is amazing on the scooter, and Apple Bloom did a hell of a job on the clubhouse; how can her special talent not be carpentry? And Sweetie Belle sings very well, which makes her painful display in S3E6 a bit of a conflict. (Maybe she’s only good with her own material. xD)
     
    *If nopony eats meat in Equestria, why are the CMC slopping pigs? Time for another beer, and I am suddenly feeling very happy right now!
     
    *I like this voiceless musical montage a lot more than hearing the Crusaders yell about their goals. A problem with their strategy is that they tend to try something only once and move on when it doesn’t go well or doesn’t immediately get them a mark. And of course they’re not doing what they’re good at for the talent show. “We use our stomachs to digestia,” oh man.
     
    *Applejack has a really weird look on her face after peeking in at the CMC practicing. No doubt this inspired a number of NSFW fics about what they were "really" doing in there. *shudder*
     
    *The fillies’ glam rock outfits are ridiculous, Scootaloo’s singing isn’t very good…Bloom does well with the very limited moves she had, except for when she kicked a hole in the set. Judging time. If Snips and Snails’ were “best magic act” I don’t want to see the worst. The CMC get an award, then deny Twilight a chance at a letter. Hooray for the first MLP episode with no message to the princess! I liked this one quite a bit.
     
    *My eyes are getting so heavy…body only partially responding to mental commands. Still eight episodes left! But I’m too close to stop now. Must do something to restore my strength………
     
    *Were you thinking “another beer?” Ha! Shows what you know. Instead I’ll wake myself up by taking the dog out in 5-degree weather. THEN I’ll get more intoxicated. See? I know my priorities. Hey, somepony grab me another drink!


  13. TailsIsNotAlone
    By hour 3 of the marathon, I give up on any pretense of detailed episode reviews. It’s all beginning to blur together into one big mass of colorful equine awesomeness. But I can make it! As I write this I’m already…er, a sixth of the way through! *gulp* And so full of pizza...getting kind of sleepy.
     
     
    *Griffon the Brush-Off, still one of my favs. Gotta love Pinkie + Dash, and Gilda is a more interesting character than I remembered.
     
    *By Episode 6, this show is beginning to solidify in a way that many shows don’t in their first season. The main characters are secure enough that we can bring in an outsider like Trixie to bounce off of them. And yes, that magician is still as supremely unlikeable as before. Kathleen Barr really nailed a good voice for her though.
     
    *From 7 on we’re getting into many episodes that I’ve only seen once before. First display of Angel’s meanness plus the cloud of black smoke. I know which one this is! The DVD is working fine so far. Not one skip, and each episode is separated into several segments just as it should be.
     
    *I love the montages and still shots of the five ponies getting ready to leave for the mountain. Fluttershy’s fearfulness is frustrating for a while, but it pays off and makes the ending totally unexpected. First of many great Fluttershy moments!

    *AJ and Rarity are SO CUTE when they argue. Which is good because that’s pretty much all of Episode 8. AJ has to get a makeover, poor thing. Twi tells a scary story about the headless horse, a legend we see much later in “Sleepless in Ponyville.” Nice continuity.
     
    *Look Before You Sleep still isn’t one of my favorites, but it gets the job done with developing two of the ponies a little more. I’m much more excited about Bridal Gossip, because it features my favorite filly in her first important role. She’s the only one besides Twilight who doesn’t think Zecora is evil, plus she follows her. Cool.
     
    *The “curses” the Mane 6 experience never fail to be hilarious. I wonder who did the voice for Flutterguy.
     
    *You can’t look at the Parasprites and not think “evil.” I knew it the moment I saw one. I love how Pinkie’s lines are ambiguous enough that we think she’s just being random, when she’s trying to get rid of the Parasprites the whole time. AJ and Rainbow both have great ideas for getting rid of them (“time to take out the adorable trash”), but it’s the Pied Pinkie who saves things. Ponyville’s still a wreck of course, but it’s fixed in time for the next show. No wonder, since most of winter has passed by the time it starts. Time for another beer! My dog's falling asleep, but I'm still going...
     
    *Twilight in boots. THIS IS WHERE IT ALL STARTED PEOPLE!

    *Seriously though, she’s adorable. Here’s Winter Wrap-Up with the first big musical number of the series and it was perfect. So many background ponies in one episode! Ponyville seemed to have about 100 ponies at first, but now we can speculate there are many more.
     
    *”Maybe the birds can use it as a…a…”
    “An outhouse?” xD To be fair, Twilight’s attempt did look like a natural bird’s next.
     
    *Pinkie Pie as ice skater is so awesome! And this is the only time we saw her do it. I want more skating Pinkie in Season 3! I think I developed a new respect for Twilight after she finally used her organization skills productively here. She even put Mayor Mare to work hauling apples. Sweet.
     
    *Wow, it’s already Call of the Cutie. My Little Pony: Fillies Are Adorable! “Look at her hair!” Silver Spoon’s first line, about Cheerilee’s picture. Funny how they managed to make a pony look so…80’s.
     
    *From the sound of it, Spoon got her mark before Diamond. That’s interesting, I would have guessed the other way around. Was Diamond always mean or just after she got her mark? When did Silver fall in with her? A filly with Diamond's ego must have been intimidated by Spoony having her mark first. Moving on: I don’t have to restate how awesome Apple Bloom is here, and naturally Applejack is best big sister. And Twist is so cute! Why doesn’t anyone else like her?

    *Dash really tries to help Bloom, but alas it’s not her time yet. At least we get a happy ending with Bloom founding the CMC.
     
    *Fall Weather Friends! Two episodes ago it was winter, but never mind. This means it’s time for Dash vs. AJ! They kick footballs! That’s it, hoofball is officially canon on the show. Amazing nobody’s done anything with that idea yet. Sorry AJ, you didn't rule out the use of wings in the competition. You use what you’ve got, so Rainbow Dash is Iron Pony.
     
    *I love Spike and Pinkie’s announcing during the race. Another lesson, and now another disc…I am officially halfway through the marathon! Three beers down, who knows how many more to go. I should reheat that pizza too. And open another beer! Did I say that yet? Oooo, pretty colors on screen. Ha ha ha...
  14. TailsIsNotAlone

    Screw Walmart

    By TailsIsNotAlone,

    Nah, this isn't one of those ridiculous overly liberal anti-Wal-Mart screeds. Those are the same people who bitch about Wal-Mart constantly but still sneak in there every weekend to buy wine coolers and scented candles. Screw 'em, they're part of the problem. People complain about Wal-Mart changing communities and ruining local business, but they have only themselves to blame because they chose to shop at Wal-Mart. If they really cared that much, they wouldn't give that new Wal-Mart any business at all and it would have to close down, right? But they always go there, and hence the corporate bloodsuckers survive.
     
    But anyway I'm getting off topic. What was the topic again? Right, my rotten-ass job. I work at Wal-Mart and it sucks. That part is not a myth. I mean, sure we get benefits, but the pay is nothing special and the people I work with are nothing special either. They're a bunch of boring whiners who for some reason think I'm interested in their lives. I'm not, I don't need to hear about it. Let me get my work done. That's the only reason I'm there. You know the way you feel when you've just struggled through a difficult test or assignment or something and you feel mentally drained? That's the kind of exhaustion I feel just from dealing with people. If I could I would never leave my apartment except for groceries and eating out because it's not worth the stress.
     
    It's not like the work is really hard. It's the same stuff I did for four years with Kellogg's, stocking shelves. Fairly simple. The problem comes in when the managers finally decide what the hell they want to do with that feature pallet at 6am, when you're ready to finish up. It comes in when I'm working with some self-important asshole who thinks he's a real macho badass and wants to brag to me about how nobody else at Wal-Mart messes with him. Real impressive. I wish this guy a dozen bucks in the face from Applejack and a pink slip. And then he can go back to whatever city he came from where his behavior is considered acceptable. This is Minnesota, big shot, keep that crap out of here.
     
    So what else is wrong with my job? Well, the bosses aren't that bad, but they don't really understand what we're doing. They haven't worked a whole night on the sales floor in years and if they did they wouldn't be bothering with this "work one box of product every 60 seconds," "work with a sense of urgency" crap. Nine dollars and change an hour doesn't buy you a sense of urgency. If you're really lucky and you have an employee as good as me, it buys you a job well done, but that's it.
     
    I realize I'm typing better than many people you see on the Internet, but I assure you I am drunk. Or as close to it as I get, this is my fifth beer.
     
    What else is troubling me? Oh yeah, the feeling of working at the job. Like I'm not good enough to be anyplace better than this. I have a goddamn college degree. I should be applying for jobs that deserve me. Instead I sell myself to openings for which I am blatantly overqualified. Just because I don't want to work in journalism doesn't make my journalism degree worthless. It limits my potential certainly, but...I must be missing something. Maybe it's my self-esteem problem, I feel like I don't deserve anything better. But NOW I do. Maybe it's the beer.
     
    I really need to quit.
     
    If you're reading this, thank you for indulging in my inebriated rant. I was due for one, you know how it goes. What do you think, should TailsAlone have one more brew? I don't know, I'm pretty gone as it is. I have nothing else to say so I'll just post a picture.
     

     
    Hey, that's Roma, the pony Pinkie bought tomatoes from.
     
    You know what the first part of her you noticed was. Admit it. And validate my twisted nature!
     
    November 10th. It can't get here soon enough. I wonder if I'll still be working at Walmart by then. At this rate, I doubt it. Nobody appreciates the quiet man anymore.
  15. TailsIsNotAlone
    We all have some chimicherries and cherrychangas that bother us over and over. Here are mine. This is the one place on the board where I will indulge my cynical, opinionated side, so be warned. Believe it or not, I wrote this entirely sober. ^^
     
     
    1. We must stop letting parents name their babies! Not forever, just for a little while. Put them on probation. They're starting to have way too much fun with it. I mean, how else do you explain some of these names? Why must every colt's name rhyme with "Aidan?" Cayden, Brayden, Hayden, Jayden...this has gone far enough. Frank, Eddie, Bill and George, we need more of you. Stat.
     
    2. The anti-smoking crusade has gone too far. This is the kind of stuff people complain about when they have no real problems in their life. I agree with keeping the cigs in your pocket in certain places, but when you talk about banning it entirely you're going too far. People act like it's a major hardship to hold their breath for a few seconds while they're leaving a building. Lay off the smokers, they're addicts and they've got their own problems. I don't smoke and if you do I encourage you to quit. But I don't mind the smell, and seeing women smoke is a turn-on. Can you deal with that?
     
    3. Youtube trolls. Not just compulsive anti-Bronies, all of them. Why must they always derail the comment pages with crap? Who is telling them that just because no one knows their real identity, they're not accountable for anything they say? Weren't we raised better than this? The public's inability to hold me responsible does not absolve me from personal responsibility. I still have an obligation to speak clearly and treat others with respect, whether they're face to face with me or a thousand miles away.
     
    4. Speaking of no personal responsibility, political pundits. On both sides. These people get away with spouting the worst sort of verbal effluvia. I avoid them like the plague on individual thought they truly are. It's because nobody wants to hold them responsible. People only listen to them for laughs or to hear their own ignorance reflected back at them as if it were acceptable. -_-
     
    5. I don't get this business about "divine intervention" or "guardian angels." A lady is driving down the highway with her kids, a drunk driver veers across the median and barely misses them and they say an angel was watching over them. Meanwhile a similar lady and her kids are driving down a road, another drunk crashes right into them and they all die.
     
    No offense to anyone who believes in this stuff, but where was their guardian angel? Sleeping on the job? Or are there not enough angels to go around? Why should the first person have lived while the second died? God didn't like how the second one did her hair? Doesn't sound like divine intervention to me. It sounds like human ego stroking. "I was important enough for God to save even though others died. Someone is watching over me and made me in his image. The universe cares about me enough to prolong my existence and punish people I don't like." Organized religions preach to us about selflessness, but their messages pander to our most selfish instincts and desires: a world shaped in our image now, eternal life later, and a god who always happens to be on our side. Now that sounds like a cherrychanga to me.
     
     
    Okay, I think I've offended just about everyone by now, so that's it for tonight. Many thanks for putting up with the ravings of a socially repressed man, and may Tails be with you.

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