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Alto Tuner


Yoshi89
  • No Not Cast Young Adult

    Alto Tuner is a bright tan-orange earth pony mare who is slightly shorter than average with a medium build. She has a chestnut mane which she wears to her right side in one plait with the other having a bright yellow bow. She has a matching tail with two curves and medium brown eyes.

     

    An optimist, Alto Tuner is generally seen smiling. She tends to strut slightly when she walks and doesn't like trotting because it messes up her mane. Alto speaks with a powerful urban-like voice, somewhat deeper than that of most mares. She generally does not wear clothing, save for a velvet red formal dress when she performs at concerts.

    Female Earth Pony A pink alto clef, symbolizing her talent as a violist. https://buffy.mlpforums.com/1c6e798d6b8c6154e823f14a50f61dc9.png

    Alto Tuner is a diligent pony with workaholic tendencies, particularly when it comes to studying and playing music. She strives for perfection in everything she does and would never settle for second best unless she feels her competition truly deserves it. She can also be boastful about her urban upbringing and book smarts. Alto considers herself refined and strives to make herself known in social circles.

     

    Generally upbeat, Alto tries her best to be accommodating whenever she meets new ponies and when they're kind to her, she's kind to them in return. In rare cases when she gets offended, she can be sarcastic and moody, especially when ponies insult her or her taste in music. Alto can be a chatterbox at times, able to hold conversations about things that interest her for hours without end.

    Likes: Alto hates popular music, saying it's too loud and hard on her ears. She has no respect for unprofessional ponies, particularly boorish stallions who try to make moves on her. She also hates it when ponies make excuses, stemming from her strict upbringing.

    Alto Tuner was born in Baltimare to parents Tramp Scout, a theater director, and Cultivine, a florist and homemaker. Alto's love for music was instilled by Tramp Scout who would invite her into watching his company's orchestra rehearse before performances. She has an older sister named Fine Tuner who plays the violin. Alto credits her father and sister for establishing her love of string music as a filly and her mother for being so supportive not just to her but to Fine Tuner as well. She chose to take viola lessons in school because she "wanted to be different" from Fine Tuner.

     

    When Fine Tuner got her cutie mark, Alto began to feel left out from all the attention her parents were giving her sister. To cope, Alto would sneak on top of the roof to her apartment building and start playing viola solos at night. Her playing would often reflect her melancholy mood until another tenant, who heard her playing, coached her into playing some happier pieces. As her music became more upbeat, more ponies from the building gathered to listen to her music until her family caught her in the act. Fine Tuner told Alto to enjoy the music she plays, a lesson that had been instilled in her mind ever since. At Fine Tuner's insistence, they played a duet for the tenants and the older sister gave way to Alto's playing. At the end of their performance, Alto got her cutie mark.

     

    Alto continued to play the viola in her school's orchestra and her public library's chamber ensemble after graduation, forming duets with Fine Tuner from time to time. Her traveling started out small, playing at local birthday parties and cuteceñeras but they eventually gave way to family get-togethers outside of Baltimare. Once she was old enough, Tramp Scout let her play in his theater's orchestra as he previously had done with her sister. Alto currently dreams of playing in a Philharmonic someday and has made a living through playing at social gatherings.

    After using her school's instruments, Alto Tuner got her first viola as a cuteceñera gift from Tramp Scout. It's her most prized possession even after she outgrew it. She bought a bigger one with her own money.

     

    Favorites:
    Food: Caesar salad with croutons and walnuts, light on the dressing.
    Drink: A nice mug of piping hot cider which helps her relax and it relieves her of stress.
    Season: Winter because she loves watching snowflakes dance down from the skies, especially at night. She likes the feeling of snow crunching underneath her hooves.
    Holiday: Hearth's Warming. It brings back memories of her fillyhood opening presents with her family and she loves playing carols on her viola.
    Place: Outside of Baltimare, Manehattan because it's bustling, vivid and a hotbed of entertainment. She likes it for the fine dining and Bridleway shows.

https://buffy.mlpforums.com/827c69a2f01ff3f0dd1676e8979ae2c2.png

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Hiya, Yoshi89!

 

Okay, let's get a look at this fine filly, shall we?  Hmmmmmm...

 

This is a rather nifty little character, I must say - kudos to your work here.  I actually only have a few suggestions to make, but on the whole I don't see many real changes that need to occur... mostly just expansion.  What's already here can stay - mostly.  I will ask that you give a bit more detail, as it does help others to visualize/imagine your character.

 

For her appearance, I'd suggest expanding by telling about how she moves, her typical facial expression, and how she generally reacts to others - remember, what other ponies see in Alto counts under the 'description' tag; describe what they'll USUALLY see from her.

 

In her 'personality' section, you mention that she 'strives to be a socialite', yet she 'doesn't care if ponies of a higher status look down on her'... unfortunately, if she's truly working hard at being a socialite, it's VERY IMPORTANT what ponies think of her - ESPECIALLY those of higher status.  Maybe she still ACTS like she cares, but it doesn't get to her as badly as it would to other social ponies?  You can't say you wanna be a comedian, but don't want folks to laugh at you - same goes here for socialites and high-status pones.  Not saying this has to completely change, mind you - but a more thorough explanation would help out here.

 

I'm digging the likes and dislikes - maybe one more of each would help round the list out perfectly.

 

Your cutie mark story is... well, it's... you DO realize that you tell the story of how she got her CM starting with, "For some time after Fine Tuner got her cutie mark", don't you?  Unless she's a time-traveller or she has two CMs, you might wanna tweak that story just a tad.  The HOW is fine, but please fix the kinda funny oversight - and don't worry; mistakes happen, and that's why we offer to help folks by looking over characters like this.

 

I think that last line needs more expansion: you could talk about where she performs, what kind of crowds she hangs out with, and what she's been doing lately to help her reach her goal.  Sometimes, just outlining a character's goals can be a paragraph unto itself!

 

Otherwise, I see little issue with what you have here - once you work with the stuff I pointed out, I'm fairly certain you'll have a really nifty character to RP with here!

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Okay, here's what I fixed:

 

 

 

For her appearance, I'd suggest expanding by telling about how she moves, her typical facial expression, and how she generally reacts to others - remember, what other ponies see in Alto counts under the 'description' tag; describe what they'll USUALLY see from her.

 

Noted, expanded that as such.

 

 

 

In her 'personality' section, you mention that she 'strives to be a socialite', yet she 'doesn't care if ponies of a higher status look down on her'... unfortunately, if she's truly working hard at being a socialite, it's VERY IMPORTANT what ponies think of her - ESPECIALLY those of higher status. Maybe she still ACTS like she cares, but it doesn't get to her as badly as it would to other social ponies? You can't say you wanna be a comedian, but don't want folks to laugh at you - same goes here for socialites and high-status pones. Not saying this has to completely change, mind you - but a more thorough explanation would help out here.

 

I'm now not sure if that can work. I gave that an overhaul as to how she wants to make herself known. If I can still improve it from there, let me know.

 

 

 

I'm digging the likes and dislikes - maybe one more of each would help round the list out perfectly.

 

Done. I added another for each.

 

 

 

Your cutie mark story is... well, it's... you DO realize that you tell the story of how she got her CM starting with, "For some time after Fine Tuner got her cutie mark", don't you? Unless she's a time-traveller or she has two CMs, you might wanna tweak that story just a tad. The HOW is fine, but please fix the kinda funny oversight - and don't worry; mistakes happen, and that's why we offer to help folks by looking over characters like this.

 

That was oversight. I started the cutie mark story with her sister getting hers. Fine Tuner is older.

 

 

 

I think that last line needs more expansion: you could talk about where she performs, what kind of crowds she hangs out with, and what she's been doing lately to help her reach her goal. Sometimes, just outlining a character's goals can be a paragraph unto itself!

 

Expanded during my first edit.

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Color me impressed.

 

You've done an excellent job addressing each of my points, and after reading her over, I would say that I am almost satisfied... 

 

Almost.

 

The OTHER section - May I make a suggestion?

 

The Five Favorites.  This was something that was suggested by someone here a while back - make a list of five favored things, with a short sentence explaining each.

 

For Example:

 

Favorite color: Emerald green, of course.
Favorite food: Key lime pie - his favorite nanny used to make them for him.
Favorite music: He likes classic rock - "that hippie noise", as his mother calls it.
Favorite time of day: Midnight - because it affords the best look at his friends, the stars.
Treasured item: His black anklebands, which were made for him by one of the workers he labored alongside.

 

These can also give an interesting insight into your character's psyche, for anyone interesting in RPing with her.  Plus, it gives you something to play with if one of these things come up during the course of the narrative.  They can be the same favorites, or you can change them to suit your OCs quirks.

 

Other than that small suggestion, I think what you have here is quite well done - bra-VO!  

 

Any other EqE sectionals want to look her over?  I'm far from perfect & could have missed something.  

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@@Randimaxis,

 

I made a few minor edits to the last paragraph, mainly to correct some redundancies. Aside from that, I think those sections are good.

 

As far as the Other section, your "Prized Possession" advice gave me an idea for her instrument so I went along with it. How does that look?

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Hey Yoshi,

 

Overall you got a good application here. I just have one teeny tiny nitpick with Alto.

 

In her dislikes section, you mention she hates ponies who try to weasel out of things. Where does this dislike come from? It kinda just comes out of the blue, maybe a small tale of how this dislike came to be?

 

Otherwise, she looks great!

  • Brohoof 1
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Hey Yoshi,

 

Overall you got a good application here. I just have one teeny tiny nitpick with Alto.

 

In her dislikes section, you mention she hates ponies who try to weasel out of things. Where does this dislike come from? It kinda just comes out of the blue, maybe a small tale of how this dislike came to be?

 

Otherwise, she looks great!

Thank you, I appreciate it.

 

I made that sound a little more concise and gave her a justification. How does it look now?

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