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Oneway Mirror


Concerto Dusk
  • , No, Not Cast colt

    Blue coat tinged with purple. Wears opaque glasses to hide his eyes. His eyes are milky blue, almost to the point of white. His mane and tail are silver in color, both being fairly unkempt. He wears a necklace and very rarely wears the boots he is seen wearing.

    male Pegasus none. https://buffy.mlpforums.com/d413d7385ac0b58a90e0c01cd10d4aed.jpg

    Outgoing, he tries to be friendly but fear being made fun of. He is stubborn and refuses to give up on anything. He can angered quite easily and will make his anger known. He is often seen as cynical and rude. Once he makes a true friend, he is loyal beyond reason as he fears losing his new friend. His triggers for anger are being coddled or made fun of. He will lose his cool if anypony is rude to his friends or cat. He Likes to be seen as smart and well read.

     

    He wants to be a rough and tumble pony, but he has had trouble finding other foals to hang out with. He is seen as a loner since his arrival to Ponyville due to his past experience with foals.

    Likes: Ponies who make fun of him or coddle him. He hates it when others get things handed to them when he works harder just to get the same results. He hates not being able to read, or see the sky. He refuses to fail or lose, and will do anything short of cheating to succeed. He hates cheaters.

    When he was born, his parents immediately called for a doctor because of his eyes. The milky blue coloring seemed odd to them. After running some tests, they found out he was blind. As he was learning to walk, he was given a white cane. He would obviously walk into objects and other ponies even with the cane. Because of this, they feared letting him learn to fly. They moved from cloudsdale to ponyville so he would hopefully learn to live the ground, like the pony Fluttershy. His father had a deep admiration of her, and his mother respected her and always tried to be as kind as her. Mirror, on the other hoof, respected Rainbow Dash. He had heard the tales of her sonic rainboom and wanted to be just like her. Though his family had never met these amazing ponies, the stories they had been told were enough to view them as great role models. So he started teaching himself to fly.

     

    He went around to different pegasi, looking for somepony to teach him. None would because of his blindness. Eventually, he grew tired of being viewed as weak and bought a pair of glasses to hide his eyes. He eventually overheard a Pegasus talking to their foal about how flying works and picked up from there. When he learned about how to fly at a basic level, the theory of it at least, he would go and practice. After a few months, he succeeded in flying for a few feet at a time. This is when he realized he needed a way to tell his surroundings while flying.

     

    To do this, he found a pony to teach him about air currents and how they were affected by objects. He figured, that if he could learn about air currents, he could learn to avoid objects by feeling the air around him. This path of training has earned him a few broken and fractured bones from crashes, but he has not given up. As he tries, he keeps getting closer to perfecting it. At this point, he is able to fly around at a little below average speeds, but he can usually avoid things in his path. He has just been enrolled in class, and has yet to meet his teacher, a Ms. Cherrilee. He has been told of a group of fillies that he might befriend, the CMC, he was told. His parents said they had heard this group was known for doing risky stunts to get their cutie marks. He avidly searches for his cutie mark but he acts like he doesn't care about it as he will never see it.

    Has a pet cat named Smudge, a young Calico.

https://buffy.mlpforums.com/af935be3fffd301ccb05f3dd73dc9757.jpg

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You have the here what could be a really interesting character, but a few changes need to be made.

 

Appearance: There is no reference to his mane or tail color or cut at all. 

Personality: Extremely short. Beef it up a bit, he needs more detail.

Likes: Again, way to short. You also have some personality aspects in this section.

Dislikes: Again, more info needed.

 

Moving on to the backstory:

Paragraph 1 - While the Mane 6 have admirable qualities, which are a great thing to strive for, keep in mind that Mirror cannot have a relationship with any cast characters. If he knows them by reputation only, that's fine, but make sure you make that clear in the backstory.

 

Paragraph 2 - Him being able to read braille assumes that ponies have the same tactile feeling in their hooves that humans do in their hands, and more specifically, their fingers. There are other ways he could learn how to fly. Maybe he evesdropped on some flying lessons, which is how he picked up the skill.

 

Paragraph 3 - Same as paragraph 1, having Cheerilee as a teacher and the CMC as classmates wouldn't  have been an issue if you didn't have an adult version of the same character. That being said, again, he can't have a relationship with characters in the show.

 

Other section: Russia doesn't exist in pony world, so neither would a Russian Blue. However, what you can do is take a name from a location from the show, or choose a different breed. 

 

You can find the rules for the section here. Once your foal character has been approved, your adult character will be reviewed.

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This is much closer, but there are still a couple of issues:

 

  • From the picture, it looks like his hair isn't terribly neat, which is something added to the appearance description.
  • Personality is still rather limited. What are the triggers for his anger? What makes him click?
  • In the Likes section, he wishes to be seen as stronger and knowledgeable. That should be in the personality part of the application.

 

While the Cheerilee and CMC bits say he hasn't met them yet remember that there are two applications for this character, one a foal and one an adult. Assuming he grow up into the other character, his adult self would know the CMC and Cheerilee, which wouldn't be allowed for the adult character.

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In the Likes section, he wishes to be seen as stronger and knowledgeable. That should be in the personality part of the application.

 

This is still an issue. 

 

Also, you still have the parts about the CMC and Cheerilee. This is part of the big issue of having two character applications:

 

 

There are to be no prior interactions with cast characters in your OC’s backstory.
 

Being in a class with the CMC and Cheerilee will effect his adult self: He will have interactions with those characters. It will also put your adult character effectively in the future, where the CMC would be adults, too, which isn't a point we're at canonically. 

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I am going to make an entirely new character, keeping the blindness, but instead of him being oneway, he would be a Very similar separate pony.

 

You should probably reflect that change by removing the connection to his adult version application from the "others" section, namely:

 

 

 

The colt version of Oneway Mirror. If the need to be combined, let me know but would rather them be separate characters.

 

On the image your OC is wearing some more accessories. Is it normal for him? Or is this just situational? You might want to add this detail into the "appearance" section for clarification :P

 

 

Since you're detaching the colt version from stallion one, a lot of issues previously addressed disappear. With the currently and previously requested changes implemented, I think the app would be passable. I can't see any outstanding issues with it anymore, but I'll throw it another look once I get some well-deserved amount of sleep (today's a hard day :P).

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The personality section needs to be at least 2 paragraphs long. Also, this:

 

On the image your OC is wearing some more accessories. Is it normal for him? Or is this just situational? You might want to add this detail into the "appearance" section for clarification :P

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