I'm Writing an MLP "episode"

[AmbientBeat 27]

I'm in the process of writing a My Little Pony episode. Sadly, it's not gonna become an actual episode of course, but I'm writing one anyway, for a couple reasons: one, cause I've always wanted to be a guest writer and director of an MLP episode, and two, I wanted to see if I can actually write an episode that wouldn't be out of focus of a typical MLP episode. Its working title is "Beautiful Ones", named after the Suede song.

The "episode" is super hard to write, since my stories are usually dark, blunt and adult-oriented and I've never written a child friendly story before. So far I only have an outline of what's going to happen in my episode, since I'm intending to make it suitable for MLP while keeping my signature style and themes.

Like most of my stories, the episode makes an extreme amount of references that are intended for followers of certain subjects. It also focuses on lost philosophy, and extra focus on music and aspects of psychological horror.

The big, important parts of the story will be told. Spoilers warning, in case I decide to make this into a fanfiction instead.

So, the Equestria map sends Twilight Sparkle and Rarity to Applewood, where they are led to a club and meet Shooting Star, a wannabe filmmaker with a collection of unopened film. While things seem nice at first, Twilight and Rarity find out she's addicted to a potion supplied by a pony who calls himself Pisces. She also seems to have a lost connection with her family back in Manehatten, and she has trouble finding a purpose in her work.

Shooting Star begins having trouble with the other film crewmembers, and the club locks them in. While trying to find a way out the ponies start getting trapped in the blank film, one by one. As Twilight, Rarity and the slowly diminishing film crew try to piece together what's going on, Twilight realizes that she must investigate the potion Shooting Star is addicted to.

When Twilight tries finding the contents of the potion, Shooting Star finds out and Pisces begins hunting her down. Pisces attempts to send Twilight into the film, but her defensive magic keeps her from succumbing. She successfully brings Pisces down, and pressures him into answering questions.

It is revealed that Pisces has feelings for Shooting Star and is willing to do anything to keep her happy, placing all that pains her in film. After pressuring him more, Pisces accidentally reveals the nature of the potion.

After a while, Twilight, Rarity, Shooting Star, Pisces, the movie director and two camera ponies are left. Twilight finds and gives the surviving camera ponies a film canister containing Shooting Star's lost memories.

The film reveals that Shooting Star, during a walk through town a couple months before, stumbled across a potion shop, where she was drawn to a potion that heightens the imagination of the drinker and brings to life a manifestation that panders to their greatest desires. Shooting Star decided to take the potion and thus came Pisces. Pisces, who materialized in Applewood, worked to get film equipment and sent Shooting Star a letter for her to go make a movie. She ran away from home to get to Applewood.

Once she got there, however, she became homesick and regretted leaving, so she asked Pisces to remove her memories of her parents. After more problems ensued, she asked Pisces to take care of them. But she never knew how he took care of her problems. Turns out, Pisces sent everypony and object that threatened her into film, in which he gifted to Shooting Star.

 

Shooting Star, after watching the film, gets the realization that everything that happened was her fault, and she throws the potion away. Pisces, slowly fading back into Shooting Star's mind, admits his love for her, where she rejects him. After everypony is brought back, Shooting Star learns that some problems only she can fix. The episode ends with Twilight and Rarity returning to Ponyville and Shooting Star returning to Manehatten to find her parents.

 

The episode is filled with symbolism and foreshadowing that most won't get in the first viewing. Along with different interpretations of the episode's lesson.

There are many easy to miss clues that reveal more about Pisces' personality. There are also some symbols that apply to real life, like all of Shooting Star's problems being trapped in film; other than it being film because that's her passion, but it's also film because it points out how many artists put interpretations of their own problems in their work.

 

The episode has many lessons, depending on the mindset you have while watching it. It could be that it's "you that must solve your life problems", or that lhappiness without sadness isn't true happiness"(you're thinking Inside Out, I was thinking Vanilla Sky when writing this), or to "be careful on how you follow your desires", or similarly, "be careful what you wish for". After writing the main points I started seeing it as being an allegory for alcoholism(this was unintentional).

 

Also keep in mind the episode isn't as depressing as the plot lets on. It's gonna have the usual MLP humor, at least my own take on MLP humor.

 

What I want is opinions on the story, whether it's good or not, cause I might release it as a fanfic rather than keep it locked up for a scenario that won't happen.

Edited June 7, 2016 by AmbientBeat

[StoryTail 103]

Well, one thing I could tell, if you're trying to make it kid-friendly, while keeping the adult and dark themes you're usually use to writing, the potion seems to give a heavy implication for LSD (addiction to potions and enhanced imagination while drinking it).  Perhaps that's what you're going for, but I feel like it might not be hidden enough to keep soccer moms from barking off their chain.  Unless you made the episode have the ponies overreact and try to tell Shooting Star how awful being addicted to a potion is, maybe.  That's my thought on that.

 

But you, perhaps, don't care so much on that being well-hidden since this is a fanfic and you wouldn't be releasing this for children.

 

The story sounds interesting and does sound plausible for a pony plot.

 

I have to say, Shooting Star kind of reminds me of my pony, Story Tail.  Story Tail is a pony that has a lot of stories that she shares with little fillies and animals, but she never writes them down or shares with adults as she has fears of people stealing her work.  She'd have some lesson on learning not to be afraid to put her work out there.

[Sonata Jets 80]

I really do like the idea of this episode, and think it could pass as a real episode with some adjustments. I wrote some things that stuck out to me when I read it, and yes I know this isn't completely detailed yet, so a bunch of these probably won't matter, I'm just pointing them out. (Some of these are things that stood out that I liked, some are minor problems, some maybe suggestions and some are just questions.)

 

-I like the idea of Rarity and Twilight since it's magic and magic, but it should be more apparent why both of them were there.

 

-I like the idea of Applewood because I love seeing places that are parody's of real cities. 

 

-The wanna be film maker is a good idea, especially since it's so different from the usual actor or actress wanna make it in da big city. So that's great.

 

-With the potion thing, that might draw some attention, but it could be a great moral about addictive substances and how they ruin peoples lives. A pretty bold moral, but episodes with those morals are usually the best. Also the potion should have a name.

 

-Okay wait never mind that line above, after reading the whole thing it seems this was not going in the direction I thought. Which is kinda confusing, just slow it down a bit to show what's actually going to happen and that should be fine.

 

-Pisces like the zodiac sign? Neat, especially since that sign is stereo typically depicted as an imaginative type sign, so him being imagined and being named Pisces was a good touch.

 

 

-So they get sucked into the film, while it seems a bit too magic, but it sounds very interesting and I wouldn't mind it. But can you explain how he did it?

 

-The Pisces thing where he disappears and declares his love and she rejects him, in my mind is perfect, but you really gotta make us really feel what both of them are going through. Like the surprise Shooting is feeling, since apparently she didn't know and the feeling of sadness and heartbreak that Pisces is feeling.

 

-With shooting going back to Manehatten, it seems a little well not as strong, I was under the impression that she deeply wanted to be in Applewood since Pieces materialized there, maybe instead she should book tickets for her family to visit her.

 

So overall, I like the plot and most of the characters, and you said this was your first time writing child type stories, well then I gotta say it was pretty darn good, because I can barely write an mlp type story, since there are so many unspoken rules to it. You did a great job and would make a great guest writer for mlp.

Edited June 8, 2016 by Sonata Jets

[AmbientBeat 27]

 

I really do like the idea of this episode, and think it could pass as a real episode with some adjustments. I wrote some things that stuck out to me when I read it, and yes I know this isn't completely detailed yet, so a bunch of these probably won't matter, I'm just pointing them out. (Some of these are things that stood out that I liked, some are minor problems, some maybe suggestions and some are just questions.)

 

-I like the idea of Rarity and Twilight since it's magic and magic, but it should be more apparent why both of them were there.

 

-I like the idea of Applewood because I love seeing places that are parody's of real cities. 

 

-The wanna be film maker is a good idea, especially since it's so different from the usual actor or actress wanna make it in da big city. So that's great.

 

-With the potion thing, that might draw some attention, but it could be a great moral about addictive substances and how they ruin peoples lives. A pretty bold moral, but episodes with those morals are usually the best. Also the potion should have a name.

 

-Okay wait never mind that line above, after reading the whole thing it seems this was not going in the direction I thought. Which is kinda confusing, just slow it down a bit to show what's actually going to happen and that should be fine.

 

-Pisces like the zodiac sign? Neat, especially since that sign is stereo typically depicted as an imaginative type sign, so him being imagined and being named Pisces was a good touch.

 

 

-So they get sucked into the film, while it seems a bit too magic, but it sounds very interesting and I wouldn't mind it. But can you explain how he did it?

 

-The Pisces thing where he disappears and declares his love and she rejects him, in my mind is perfect, but you really gotta make us really feel what both of them are going through. Like the surprise Shooting is feeling, since apparently she didn't know and the feeling of sadness and heartbreak that Pisces is feeling.

 

-With shooting going back to Manehatten, it seems a little well not as strong, I was under the impression that she deeply wanted to be in Applewood since Pieces materialized there, maybe instead she should book tickets for her family to visit her.

 

So overall, I like the plot and most of the characters, and you said this was your first time writing child type stories, well then I gotta say it was pretty darn good, because I can barely write an mlp type story, since there are so many unspoken rules to it. You did a great job and would make a great guest writer for mlp.

 

 

-Twilight was there because the map knew she would know the purpose of the potion, while Rarity's role was to be Shooting Star's foil, and Rarity's personality reveals Shooting's psyche, thus giving more hints on Pisces' personality.

 

-The potion, in my opinion, could resemble alcoholism, and how it affects peoples' lives, even those who dont drink it. She's addicted to it, and she drinks it because she feels it solves all her problems, in which Pisces could symbolize the effects.

 

-Yes, the Pisces name is a little bonus for those who know their signs. The sign is also said to go out of their way to help somebody with a problem. Good catch

 

-Being a manifestation made by Shooting Star's mind from the potion, he has the ability to do whatever he can to keep Shooting Star comfortable, since the potion is based off wishes.

 

-The love thing where Pisces is rejected will totally be in greater detail when I write the story. It is important to know that Pisces is a product of Shooting Star's desires, so his love for her hints that she felt love as well, but she rejected him, not only because he almost completely ruined her life, but because she knows he's just there to pander to her and that the emotions are hers, and since she already learned her lesson, she no longer needs him. It's complicated, there will be subtle hints that suggest more about this connection though.

 

-Shooting Star returns to Manehatten because she ran away from her parents, who she knows are worried sick about her. She couldnt stay in Applewood since Pisces provided her with housing, and she isnt able to afford the living costs of Applewood.

 

Hope that helped, and I'd be happy to answer any more questions

Well, one thing I could tell, if you're trying to make it kid-friendly, while keeping the adult and dark themes you're usually use to writing, the potion seems to give a heavy implication for LSD (addiction to potions and enhanced imagination while drinking it).  Perhaps that's what you're going for, but I feel like it might not be hidden enough to keep soccer moms from barking off their chain.  Unless you made the episode have the ponies overreact and try to tell Shooting Star how awful being addicted to a potion is, maybe.  That's my thought on that.

 

But you, perhaps, don't care so much on that being well-hidden since this is a fanfic and you wouldn't be releasing this for children.

 

The story sounds interesting and does sound plausible for a pony plot.

 

I have to say, Shooting Star kind of reminds me of my pony, Story Tail.  Story Tail is a pony that has a lot of stories that she shares with little fillies and animals, but she never writes them down or shares with adults as she has fears of people stealing her work.  She'd have some lesson on learning not to be afraid to put her work out there.

I'm gonna be honest, the potion's resemblance to a drug was sorta unintentional. But it adds symbolism to the story, so I find it alright.

[Sonata Jets 80]

-Twilight was there because the map knew she would know the purpose of the potion, while Rarity's role was to be Shooting Star's foil, and Rarity's personality reveals Shooting's psyche, thus giving more hints on Pisces' personality.

 

-The potion, in my opinion, could resemble alcoholism, and how it affects peoples' lives, even those who dont drink it. She's addicted to it, and she drinks it because she feels it solves all her problems, in which Pisces could symbolize the effects.

 

-Yes, the Pisces name is a little bonus for those who know their signs. The sign is also said to go out of their way to help somebody with a problem. Good catch

 

-Being a manifestation made by Shooting Star's mind from the potion, he has the ability to do whatever he can to keep Shooting Star comfortable, since the potion is based off wishes.

 

-The love thing where Pisces is rejected will totally be in greater detail when I write the story. It is important to know that Pisces is a product of Shooting Star's desires, so his love for her hints that she felt love as well, but she rejected him, not only because he almost completely ruined her life, but because she knows he's just there to pander to her and that the emotions are hers, and since she already learned her lesson, she no longer needs him. It's complicated, there will be subtle hints that suggest more about this connection though.

 

-Shooting Star returns to Manehatten because she ran away from her parents, who she knows are worried sick about her. She couldnt stay in Applewood since Pisces provided her with housing, and she isnt able to afford the living costs of Applewood.

 

Hope that helped, and I'd be happy to answer any more questions

I'm gonna be honest, the potion's resemblance to a drug was sorta unintentional. But it adds symbolism to the story, so I find it alright.

 

 You filled in pretty much everything, it all makes sense and is very well put together

The things about the potion and what it is capable of makes sense

The way Pisces could do everything, it makes sense

The reason why the map called both of them, makes sense

The love thing, again makes sense, and wow it's pretty deep (in a good way)

It sounds like a great episode, or fanfic if you make it that, and honestly I really hope someone animates it or points it out to Hasbro or something, because it would be awesome to see that made.