critique wanted Beta reader requested. would this be considered a pony fic

[ChamberCheck 10]

Hi all,

 

I'm currently working on a book featuring equine characters. It's my own original universe, with no connection to MLP, but it has what are, for all intents and purposes, pegasi, although with their wings being used more for unpowered gliding, like Batman, to aid in acrobatics.

 

Anyway, I wanted to market the story to the Brony community. I've loved this fanbase for years and wanted to give them something interesting that they might like.

 

I debated whether to look for a Beta reader here or on a generic sci-fi forum. As a Christian Universalist raised on Star Wars, I always loved a good redemption story and a happy ending (which is why I love Starlight and Sunset so much, I guess) so cynicism is something I didn't want to seep into my writing from other people who didn't share the "love and tolerate" mindset.

 

Anyway, I'm going to write the book regardless, as I'm already a bit into it and have much of it storyboarded. It's a sci-fi supernatural mystery, so I get to combine my love of comparative religion and mythology with my love of sci-fi. The main antagonist is a Shedim, which is basically the Jewish version of a Genie. I think I've come up with a unique take on him. My love of Dan Abnett and Tim Powers' books will not let this go unwritten.

 

Anyway, enough of my late-night rambling. Would anyone like to take a look at it? I've got the first few chapters done.

 

Cheers.

[Shadow Beam 1,179]

Moved into Non Pony Art as it doesn't hold a connection with MlP:FiM's world. ^^