critique wanted Lore Discussion for Boryon (Working Title )

[Gloaming 29]

Hello everyone! My author’s name is Planet Tree, but I’m going by the name of one of my MLP characters here. Feel free to address my by either. I also respond to ‘the crazy lady’, if that suits your purposes better.

I’ve been slowly building this idea for an MLP fanfic since I first started watching the show in 2014. It’s fairly well developed at this point, but I still need some help ironing out the wrinkles before I start writing in earnest. I’m hoping some kind souls from this forum would be willing to give me constructive feedback. 
 

My story is set in ancient pre-equestria, and follows a pegasus  prince as he struggles to lift a curse. It is structured like a book series with thirteen books. Each is internally consistent, but also contributes to an overarching plot line. I have vague ideas for future ‘season plot lines’ in the same series. In all, the fanfic is going to be a long-term project. When I finally get my digital art program figured out, I’d like to do comics, and eventually animated episodes. But I’ll get to that later (much, much later).  

For now, I was hoping to present some lore ideas and see what the masses think of them. Feel free to tell me that my ideas are stupid and I should go stand in the corner to think about what I’ve said. Just so long as you’re kind about it, I genuinely want your feedback. I’m looking forward to talking with everyone!

Edited April 18, 2021 by Gloaming

[Gloaming 29]

The first lore topic I want to discuss is what Grogar’s role in ancient Equestria was.

In G4, his magic was immensely powerful. But this wasn't enough for him. Using an artifact called the Bewitching Bell, he stole magic from other sources. Ultimately, this led to his downfall. Gusty the Great used the Bell against him, stealing his magic, and then banished him.

We got to see the magic that was contained in the Bewitching Bell in Season 9. It powered two of the stronger villains far beyond Alicorn-level magic, and placed Cozy Glow on par with the Alicorns. At the time, the Bell was holding both Grogar's and Discord's magic.  
This magic was instrumental in creating the monsters that live across Equestria today. It is said that he is responsible for the existence of many monsters that cause strife and hardship for the ponies. In G1, Grogar is even called "The Father of Monsters".  created the minor monsters like the Ursas, the manticores, cockatrices, timberwolves, hydra, bunyips and chimeras. This was to spread chaos and misery, as this fueled his own personal magic. 

My head cannon is this: According to mythology, the Dragons, Griffons, Kirin, Changelings, Hippogriff, Unicorns, and Pegasi are all monsters. Alicorns and Draconequis (Discord) have no real-world equivalents in mythology, but if we're putting Unicorns and Pegasi in the monster category, they also belong there. Basically, anything which does not appear in the real, natural world would be considered a monster. Grogar created all these creatures, endowing them with the ability to use magic. The fact that the Pegasi, Unicorns and Earth Ponies fought incessantly backs up this theory. They caused so much strife for themselves that Grogar just left them to their own devices. 

Edited April 18, 2021 by Gloaming
I got some lore wrong and Kujamih corrected me. Thanks Kujamih!

[Evil Pink One 13,506]

Nope! He doesn't use Grogar's bell it was used against him.... Sooo

33 minutes ago, Gloaming said:

his magic was immensely powerful. So much so that he couldn’t handle it all himself. He had to store it in an artifact.

This is not quite accurate...

34 minutes ago, Gloaming said:

Grogar’s the magician responsible for the existence of the Three Kingdoms?

Nope... It existed some what at the same time with grogar i think.... I mean the 3 kingdoms did exist when grogar ruled... And not sure if grogar made the ponies aswell..... Because he was the father of monsters.... Meaning the mixed creatures that has no cities, or roams around like a wild creature? ..... Meaning the dragons, griffon( which is weird), hipogriffs, ponies, changelings....(which is very weird aswell) [chrysalis doesn't consider him that important.. but maybe she just doesn't know well] ...so maybe not the changelings...... So maybe grogar did made everyone.... The word " father of monster" is kinda vague....

But discord playing as grogar said that " he created monsters to spread chaos across the land... And showing monsters destroying villages..... So maybe he didn't made every creature...only the harmful ones..... and discord.... I think discord was created due to grogars chaos... So discord was an accident child.

 

[Gloaming 29]

You’re right about the monsters he created, so I guess the Unicorns and Pegasi came before Grogar.

The bell was used against Discord masquerading as Grogar.
The real Grogar used the bell to store the magic he stole from other sources. But when Gusty the Great took the bell, Grogar’s magic was crippled (which is why I believe he was using the bell to store his own magic as well, but this is speculation) 

source: https://villains.fandom.com/wiki/Grogar_(My_Little_Pony)

[Evil Pink One 13,506]

Gusty took the bell and used it against him..thus grogar's defeat... It wasn't stated that grogar needed it because he couldn't handle his magic, is what i was pointing out as inaccurate.

The reason why i said that it was used against him is because it absorbs magic...and what magic did the 3 villains get? Grogars magic.... 

And i think ...not sure but on Twilight's story she mentioned it? Not sure im very forgetful too 

[Evil Pink One 13,506]

But then again if an inconsistency happens in the story line... It was starlight's fault!

[Evil Pink One 13,506]

Oh there is also the brony lore... Where more than half the bronies consider a fiction a fact. like celestia having pink hair, before banishing luna. And using the elements of harmony solo caused her hair to turn multi colored. And the names of some pony like "vinyl scratch" is what the brony community calls "dj pon3"

And "derpy" but her original name is "ditzy doo" and antropology by lyra heart strings....

[Evil Pink One 13,506]

Oh and most fans prefer the lore in "lullaby for a princess" than the original.

[Gloaming 29]

That's understandable, Lullaby for a Princess is absolutely one of the best fan works out there. I like the lore from it too.